01/28/05
Dear Diary,
Today Nick Carter turned 25. Everyone was there celebrating, from friends to family to people he hadn't seen in a long time. Well not everyone. He tried to look happy but we all knew that he was hurting. It had been about 21 days since he saw Jackie. My girlfriend, Carla and I, tried to convince her to go tonight but she didn't. The party was held at his house, but Nick was quiet. We had found him a couple of times looking out into the ocean thinking. Kevin, Howie, Rok and I knew he was going through alot right now. On the mantle there were two pictures of them. One that was taken a few weeks ago and another one on a vacation they took together. The one from the vacation was of them in Hawaii. Nick was wearing khaki pants with a white shirt and his hairs was done, while Jackie had been wearing a Tommy Jeans with the Tommy shirt, her hair was shoulder legnth and was lighter. He had his arms around her waist as he was leaning against the tree. I had remembered taking this picture of them and it was the happiest time of their lives. Nick had just turned 23 and Jackie was still 26. The smile on Nick's face had said it all. He was in love with her and she was making him happy.
When they were together it was like Heaven for them. It was the first time since Mandy, he wasn't afraid to show who he is with. He was holding her hand, kissing her and hugging her in the Public Eye. If you know Nick, you would know that he isn't the one to show his affection for anyone or let alone show anyone who is with. But there was some reason he wasn't afraid to show his love for her. The DJ on the radio had wished him a Happy Birthday and after that someone requested, "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. We all can tell he was intensing up when the song came on. I remembered Nick sang that song in concert about a year ago. He knew he was in love with Jackie and on her birthday sang it to her. Just seeing him happy and in love made us smile. Jackie brought a smile out on him and brighten his day. We all saw Jackie the night before at work trying to keep herself busy.
Jackie works at the Mall as a manager for Structures and Nick would always go in there. That's how the met two years ago. We found him standing across the mall trying to decide if he wanted to go in. He had waited until Jackie went in the back We went with him inside and looked at some clothes for his party. Her friend, Becky, was helping us and saw in Nick's eye that something was missing and saw the same look at Jackie. She had told us while he was trying clothes on that Jackie would stay late and come in early and on her days off. Jackie had came out while Nick was still trying clothes on and she started to talk to us. About five minutes later with her back turn towards him, he saw her sighed and came up next to her. They looked at eachother for about two minutes and she left. Nick tried to stop her but couldn't. We left Structure and went to Armani Exchange, I bought a few things and Carla was not happy, but she let me. I couldn't help but look at Nick so lost and hurt inside.
Tonight he celebrated his 25th birthday with his family and friends by side but not the person he loves. When we came in this afternoon he was in the back balcony with his CD's playing and we knew he was crying. The door bell rang and it was the mail man delievering a package to Nick. Brian signed for it and came into the balcony to hand him the gift. Nick opened it up and it was a signed basketball from the Orlando Magics w/5 tickets to the NBA Championship. Nick mentioned that he knew who got it for him, put the stuff down and went back in and throw something against the wall. He then left for a few hours, came back and got ready for the party. Carla had asked where he went and he said went to the beach and drove by Jackie's apartment, didn't see her there and went to the Mall. He found her having lunch alone outside with sunglasses on. He had said it hurted him 10x more than it did the prior night. Carla gave him a hug and said that Jackie still loved him. He had told us that tonight was suppose to be a special night. That for the longest time, they were planning this party together. That he was going to ask her to marry him. He had shown us the ring and the girls remembered looking at it with her the just last month.
Earlier the day, he went to the stores to pay for the stuff. But when he got there, he was told that everything was paid for. He asked who paid for it and they told them Jackie did. From the cake to the food and to the everything, she had paid for it. She even paid for the balloons that were delievered to the house. He had told us that they were suppose to go on a boat trip later that night to see the dolphins. Nick had called the company and they said it was paid in full. The amount for about 20 people close to $5,000. He asked the manager if there was a possible way to send of the tickets to someone who couldn't make it. The manager said yeah and Nick gave him the address. Along with ticket he said, " This was suppose to be shared by the both of us. This is the boat ride I told you I loved you. I wish you were here sharing this night with me. The manager said it was possible to send this to you. When you are ready to take this ride, they will redeem it. Love, Nick."
Nick had asked Brian to deposit about $10,000 in Jackie's account because he knew she might be broke from paying for everything. He had called the bank and asked for how much she had. The teller told her with all the transactions she had atleast $10.00 left in her account with atleast three more checks that needs to be cleared. He then gave Brian the account number and asked him to deposit it and Brian did. When he blew his candles out, we all knew what he was wishing for, he opened his eyes looked around and didn't see Jackie. Carla, Leigh & Kris noticed the hurt and tears in his eyes and hugged him. That was the night we knew that Nick was truly in love and missed Jackie. We never saw him like that before. He had true feelings for her and it was just killing him inside. He looked at the clock and realized it was time to head to the Pier. We walked out to the door, when Nick grabbed his jacket out of the closet and saw of one Jackie's sweaters hanging there, we saw him sighed and closed the door.
As we arrived at the Pier, we all saw the boat ready and the Captain was waiting. We saw a female figure talking to the Captain. The girls had realized it was Jackie. Leighanne told Nick and he looked at the boat and saw her. He ran past everyone to see her and over heard them talking. Jackie had asked the Captain to make sure that Nick got the chance to drive the boat and that he takes a picture of all his friends together with him. He said he would and would send her a picture of tonight. Before she left or slipped away before anyone can see her. Jackie had knew where Nick would be standing during the boat and left a box for him.
Throughout the ride, everyone was trying to be happy. Nick had sat down and found the box there. It was wrapped in a satin green paper and green ribbon and under it was a small card. He opened the box and found a set of keys. He then read the letter. The letter said, " Happy Birthday Nick. I remember you mentioning to me that you would love to have a Offshore Boat and start a team. Well I put what I have up and bought you a boat. The set of keys are for your boat and for your truck for the boat. Happy Birthday. Forever, Jackie."
Brian and I went over to see what he was staring at and he showed us. It was a set of keys and under the box was a big brown envelope. It was the title to the boat. We can tell it was a new one because of the amount. For Jackie to pay this boat off, we knew she was working alto of hours. Becky mentioned that Jackie had two jobs and was working at both places. Just last week she said that Jackie looked so exhausted that she fell asleep at her desk. She still had a picture of Nick in a frame. Her staff would see her stare out the window or just stare at the paper thinking and they she was thinking of Nick. When Becky had told us that we looked at him and he just stared back at the ocean.
Since Carla still had a key to Jackie's apartment, we made one more wish come true for him. Later that night we knew Jackie would be asleep. When we walked into the apartment, the first thing we saw was the picture of Nick. There were flowers on the counter and we knew they were from Nick. We were trying to be quiet so she wouldn't wake up. Next to the flowers were mail that weren't open. A certain piece of mail caught Nick's eye and they were tickets to see Journey two weeks from tonight. Carla had came back and told us she's was fast asleep. Nick slowly walked into her room and watched her sleep. It took alot courage not to hold her and not to wake her. Next to her light was the same picture of them in Hawaii, laying across the chair was one of this shirts and next to her was the bear he had gotten her a few months ago. Before we left, Nick leaned in for a kiss on the lips trying not wake her and whispered," I love you." and walked out. We don't know what happened after that because we all left. But Nick looked up and saw her light on.