It's sunday. I spent Friday and Saturday with Ben and Matt. We went over to Matt's Moms' apartment and drove to the Meadowbrook mall. I didn't do any shopping, but I got to see alot of people. Its weird how many people you can find. I felt popular. After we left, we went over to Matt's house and stayed.

Saturday when I got home, I went to bed and didn't do much of anything. I stayed up late. I didn't go to Church today. I don't know why.

Its funny how sometimes we're oblivious to the relationships we keep. We often think we have these great friendships and great relationships with others and come to find out it was mere fantasy, a wild construction based on our hearts pondering imagination. And what a sad realization it is when we stumble upon this truth, something which I dare say no one wishes to ever find.

We're going to be best friends until forever. Just you wait and see.

It's the day after Christmas. Right now, I'm on the phone with Michael. Today, I really didn't accomplish anything. I took a nap, watched half of "Malibu's Most Wanted" and that was about it. I did something impressive, or atleast I think so. I figured out how to network all of the computers shared folders and printers to all to the laptop and desktops in my house.

I've had some odd conversations today. I talked to some girl from a 12 year old girl from Belpre who wanted to do stuff with me, and an informative convo with Chad. It was a good day.

Didn't get to talk to my buddy, Pauper. Wherever he is, I hope he had a great holiday and he's not somewhere passed out, drunk, on the floor. (Just kidding man :) )

It's Christmas.

Last night at 11, Chauncey called to wish me Merry Christmas, which I thought was kind of cool because that's not something that I'd expect him to do. But He and I talked until his cell phone went dead. He was washing and waxing his mom's car for a gift. Pauper kept complaining about the maid. I sorta wonder if he's really wealthy. But I guess most of my other friends are wealthy, so there's nothing really different. We've been talking in Chatrooms alot with Nac, Chad, Morgan, Billy, and alot of others. And its been fun. B! is a really cool guy, despite being cousins with Michael. Him and I were ripping on MP for being gay.

Last night, Michael called me and we talked for a long while about weird things. He and I talked about going to the beach and traveling alot when he's 18, the Sunset School, and being missionaries in Africa. We talked about the many weird times we've had in the past, about him and the window, and lots of more stuff I won't put here. But having talked to him last night made me feel really, dare I say, happy. I've been feeling neglected by him for a long while and even though I'm the one who called him for his birthday at exactly 12:00 AM on December 25th, I'm still glad we talked. Sunday, I'm going to give him his gift and a little card with a note or a flash I'm going to make for him.

For New Year's, I don't know whats going to happen. My parents want me to go to my grandparents, but I've really been playing on spending it with Pauper and hanging out with him and Chad. It would be the first time that we've gotten to hang out. I already think we're best friends. MP and Billy are going to a teen dance in Fairmont. All I know is that I don't want to spend New Years with people I don't want to spend it with -- I want to be with friends.

Wednesday, I can't really remember anything too important other than the weather was sort of bad. My mom had a doctor's appointment in Clarksburgh and she was afraid to drive the rest of the way home. Dad had to go pick her up. Dave took us to church. When we got there, all the lights were offf. But, Erik, He, and I had a good discussion about a bunch of stuff. We've got a new hotel for Winterfest, hopefully one that is alot nicer. And we talked for a while about the guys and girls praying together in groups. I guess that really bothered him when one of the elders spoke to him about that. I don't know. It doesn't seem like we're breaking any scriptural things by doing so.

Ben called. We just had a short little conversation, small-talk. He told me he was working on producing a documentary for the Sheppard Debate team, and was interested in doing a documentary on me launching the magazine. I thought that would be sort of cool, but I don't know if my story is that interesting to tell. Somethime this week, he wants me to go see Lord of the Rings with him. But I'm booked until next monday.

Today, Thursday, I slept in until 2. I was up really late last night and I knew I really didn't have anything to do except for the Whitehall class at 7. I wanted to get a memory verse or two committed to memory, but that never worked out. At 3, I got online to talk to Chauncey and started to watch Freaky Friday.

At some point, I was starting to become frustrated. He's really having a difficult time getting over Emily and its hard to find a solution to all of this. I really want to help him get over her. And I think the best way is for Pauper to simply forget her. I told him to take everything from his room and stick in a box and put it under his bed. That way in a month or so, he'll see how goofy all of this is. He said that it made things a little better after he did that and played basketball tonight.

At 6, I left for the Whitehall Class. Today while listening to a particular song, I really started to miss Michael. He and I haven't hung out since October. I've not talked to him in two weeks. Today, I sort of talked to Sabrina about all of this. He's just have been seeming so different. I can't even try to make him laugh without him yelling at me because of it. And when we do talk, its about him. I don't want him to fade out of my life.

When I got home, I got online and talked to Chauncey, Chad, and Emily. Pauper and She were of course fighting. I had some fun. I kept getting on different screen names, and she still wouldn't know who it was even though all of the names are alike. He called me.
I told him about the Christmas party tommorow, and I'm thinking that everything is going to work out, so we'll get to hang out and he can meet everyone.

Tommorow, I've got to play Santa Claus for my brother's class. This sounds stupid, but I'm sorta nervous. I don't one of them to start crying because they realize that I'm not the real Santa Clause or something. Then, I'm going to take my license test.

Do you want to know the great thing about Chauncey? Its that he is actually looking forward to becoming best friends with me, and that he realized the affect I've had on him, "saving his life like 8 times and changing it." He's even talked about him and I getting an apartment when he goes to college to party at.

Man, I miss talking to and hanging out with Michael.

I spent almost all of my day on the computer. I've been trying to look for some digital video editing software so I can finish the spoof I'm wanting to do on the 8 mile movie trailer. No luck so far.

Sending out a letter to OVC for sponsorship is definitely a priority. But I couldn't think of anything. After about ten minutes, I called Michael and asked if he had any suggestions. He was clueless. MP's still having some problems with Julianna, and I'm not sure if he is going to do what he needs to do to fix them. He's got to ask her about these "feelings" that he's been having. Otherwise, he's going to spend the next couple of weeks in a bad mood. All I can do is sit there and listen. He yells at me if I try to make a joke and give him a smile or two. He just wants to talk, but I hate just talking and not being able to do anything. I'm pro-active whe it comes to problems in my friends life. He then told me he was going to go lay in his bed and chill out, and I've not talked to him since then.

Like almost every other night, I spent it talking to Chauncey. And I feel bad for what He and I did to his ex-girlfriend, emily. We sorta were playing around with her, and she was saying some stuff that started to scare both of us. I'm definitely praying that everything is going to be alright, and again I feel terrible and I am never going to do what we did again.

Tommorow' I'm taking my driver's test. And I am so hoping that I pass it. I need this for everything that is involved with me life. I mean, theres millions and millions of other people with licenses. So, why can't I have one too? I'm going to be extra-cautious and obey all the signs this time. Oh man, I need my license!

Friday there's a christmas party for our youth group with a gift exchange. I want to bring something really stupid and goofy. I'll bring Chauncey. LOL. Michael's wanting to bring Julianna. Again, this is why I'm wanting to get my license so that I can pick up Pauper on friday and we can hang out, our first time actually. I'm definitely looking forward to spending New Years 2004 with him, and watching the Mountaineers kick some butt at the gatorbowl.

Today I finished with my new homepage. Because people, even strangers, are going to be visiting this frequently, I've deleted my past entries and am started over, a sort of censored version of my thoughts. I'll write an entry later tonight.