But i sisn't know how to presss the keys to tie the notes into music.

The melody, i could hear it in my head, was beautiful and complex. But when i pressed the keys, with all good intentions, the notes went watery and collapsed from under my intentions.

It was hopeless.

the leaves
will always
fall.
words aren't
as reliable.

The wind blows through my room, i wish i could see it. i've begun a new era and i have to cope with the transition, so that's where i am now, coping with pen in hand and music playing on the stereo.

Emotions start to take on a material form; it's always a little scary when they do that. But it's not so bad if you just sit and do what's needed and watch it pass, gradually, like the slow increase of cars making noise going past my window. You know it's getting early; people getting up, driving to work. Life moving along at its usual pace. There's a sort of romanticism to it, watching people getting up before dawn to go out and earn money so that they can live. And i get to sit and waith it all, this time purely on sensation, not caffeine. Makes me feel like Walt Whitman. Ever stay awake into the dawn hours just because your five or so senses aren't finishes being awake? They want more and more and know by something that's only accessible to them that this night will never be lived again. It's interesting, and as it is with all things, you get to watch.

And now i want the dream. Creams aren't usually as interesting as the reality you can create in your head, but they have that intoxicating air of mystery and the somewhat bizarre that i crave every once in a while. And my dreams have been oh so vivid lately...

i believe
in feeling through
music
language
pictures
the faithless.

what do you believe?