The Monday Night Showdown is being shown on HBO with a " M " rating. The camera opens up with a camera following Chris Benoit, he's wearing a leather jacket and pants, he has a bag full of his stuff inside. it's snowing and a bell is heard, he looks to his left and there stands Santa Clause.

SANTA: HO HO HO, Mr. Benoit... merrrrrrrrrrry Christmas.... HO HO HO

BENOIT:...................................................

SANTA: (gulp) ahem, so MR. Benoit, what do you want for Christmas this year??

BENOIT: How bout Stone Cold Steve Austin in the hospital?...

SANTA: um... Mr. Benoit... I can't do that... thats not what

BENOIT: Then get out of my face....

SANTA: Wait... maybe i can do something else for

Just then Chris Benoit throws a chop straight to Santa, Santa falls in a split second. Chris Benoit starts stomping a mudhole into Santa Claus. After Santa stops moving, Benoit starts to blow snot on santa like he does during his matches, the camera zooms on Santa as hes mumbling in pain, the screen fades to black. then the Monday Night Showdown logo appears and "Jingle Bells" starts to play in heavy guitar, all of a sudden the screen shows the packed crowd in Madison Square Garden, fireworks blast at the entrance multiple times. After awhile of the music playing and fireworks blasting, the titan tron lights up and there stands the Insane Clown Posse in tuxedos, the crowd starts to cheer and begin chanting "ICP, ICP, ICP, ICP" over and over again. Violent J starts to speak....




VIOLENT J: Hello wrestling fans and welcome to our special Christmas edition of Monday Night Showdown, not only is it a Christmas special, but it's the birth of the NWA. Let me introduce myself, I'm Diamond Donavon Douglass, better known as "Threeeee Deeeee"


SHAGGY 2 DOPE: AND I'm Handsome Harley Guastella, but to my friends, including you 3D, You can call me Gweedoooooooh.....now some of you muthafuckers watchin might say, who the fuck are these guys?? Well I got your answer bitches, We are tired of see'ing two old ass farts commentating, some fat boy in a cowboy hat and a " used to be cool " guy flirting with each other, what you got here is two guys that will not kiss no ones ass and aren't afraid of cussin....

3D: That's right, but let's talk about our first show, It's Christmas Night, Everybody opened they're presents, everyone ate Christmas dinner, now they're all laid back wanting to see two or more people fucking kill each other!! We got an intercontinental title match, with "Y2J" Chris Jericho facing the amazon herself, Chyna. She might have millions of teen kids wackin off to her pictures in Playboy, but she has to go against the Walls of Jericho tonight. We also fuckin got The Death Making Three-Way Ladder match for the Tag Team titles, we got the Dudleys,Hardys, and Road dogg and K-kwik ready to put each other in the hospital!!!

GWEEDO: And last but not least we got the World Title Tournament First Round to watch, we got the Favorite Triple H, we got The Rock, we got Stone Cold Steve Austin, and we have the The Crippler Chris Benoit!! Chris Benoit just beat down Santa like a red headed step cousin's former roommate, this muthafucker is crazy, if he does that to the lovable huggable fat ass Santa, what the fuck is he going to do to the Rattlesnake??? Man, enough of the bullshit, lets get down to the ring and wressssstttttlleeeeeeeee.....
Kevin Nash vs The Rock

The camera zooms back to the entrance, all of a sudden a wolf howl is heard throughout the arena, then the wolfpac music starts to play, out comes Kevin Nash, he raises his arms to the crowd, the crowd cheers, he gets in the ring and adjusts his arm pad staring at the entrance with a mean stare.

3D: It looks like Kevin Nash is ready to rip a new asshole into somebody, I wouldn't want to be in his opponents shoes, look at the fuckin stare!!

GWEEDO: You know Kevin Nash is going to do his patented three moves and Jackknife powerbomb and try to win the match with that bullshit, but Kevin Rash better do more than that if he wants to beat this guy....

Then "if you smeeeeeeeeeeell what the Rock...is cookin " is heard followed by music, out comes the Rock, the crowd goes more insane as Rock runs to the ring and slides in, Kevin nash starts to give him the boots, he throws rock to the ropes and catches him with a big boot, rock is stunned on the floor.

GWEEDO: AAAHHH SHIT! Rocky just got caught with one hellified boot to the mouth!!

3D: Hell yeah he tasted the floor Rash has stepped on....Rock is really fucked up

Nash picks up rock and gets him in the corner, he starts to give rock knee lifts in the corner, after 5 times of doing this, on the 6th attempt, Rock moves out the way as nash hits the corner, when nash turns around rock starts punching him over and over, rock stops and spits at his hand and then hits nash as hard as he can, nash goes between the ropes to the outside.

3D: Kevin Dash just got beat down like a bitch, he tried to do one of his three moves and paid the price!!

GWEEDO: Cocky is taunting Kevin Sash-er-ass-sugar-frass and makin him look like a fool...

The crowd cheers, nash gets mad and slides in the ring, rock runs at him and gets nailed with a clothesline. Nash picks up rock and executes a sidewalk slam, when Nash gets up, he lets down his straps and gets rock ready for the Jackknife, he positions Rock for the jackknife, he lifts him up but then Rock starts to punch him, rock falls and lands on his feet, Nash tries to clothesline him again, Rock ducks and hooks him, ROCKBOTTOM!! Rock stands at Nash's shoulders and throws off the arm pad, he runs to each rope and executes THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!! He pins nash...1.....2....3!!!


GWEEDO: oh shit, Rock advances in this tournament!! Rock just handed nash's ass to him with a bow tie for fuckin christmas!!


3D: Nash is a puss and doesn't deserve to even grace this ring, I'm pretty sure this is the last time we see Kevin Bashed, he better hit the gym and get some balls..


STING VS SHAWN MICHAELS

Sting's music hits and the crowd responds with cheers.
3D: Here comes the one and only Chicken Wing, the man who stole the face paint idea from The Insane Clown Posse, he comes out with his patented 1970 type hair do as usual

GWEEDO: yeah the women just love his fuckin flowin hair, but too bad its decades behind of its time!!

Then all of a sudden, HBK's music hits and all the girls scream and the crowd cheers, HBK comes out dancin to his music...
3D: And now comes HBK, all the women love this guy, the bitches do him and pretend it's me, I know it..
GWEEDO: That is as believable as HBK doesn't try things with the same sex 3D..

After HBK takes off his gear, the two men stand in the middle of the ring staring into each others eyes, then HBK starts to punch, Sting throws some too, they throw punches one after the other until Sting gets two in the row and stuns HBK, sting throws hbk to the ropes and tries to clothesline, HBK ducks and comes back from the ropes with a flying punch to the head.
GWEEDO: OHHH!! The flying crane hook!! The very move one thousand and two year old Jose lothario taught him...
3D: yes, Super Sock himself, his name was super sock because his feet stunk so fuckin bad, that was his finisher, the foot odor of deeeeeaaathhh...


HBK now is settin up up Sting for a super plex off of the top ropes, when he tries Sting punches him in the gut and HBK flies off, when HBK gets back up, Sting launches himself and gets HBK with a flying clothesline!! Sting screams whoo! He picks up HBK and delivers a manhattan drop, he attempts the scorpion death lock but hbk wiggles away, sting throws hbk to the ropes and back body drops him over the top rope!! HBK is hurt..HBK gets back up and leans on the rail, sting runs at him and tries to splash.... he misses... sting is stunned, hbk like a cat somehow gets on the top rope and launches himself, hes in the air for eternity it seems and connects with a body block!!

GWEEDO: OHH FUCK, what a move, that was the flying raccoon press by Brawn Michaels!
3D: I think he killed himself and sting!! Michael Shawns just sacrificed himself!!

The Ref starts the ten count........suprisingly Sting makes his way in the ring, HBK follows. Sting Punches HBK, HBK is stunned, Sting throws HBK to the turnbuckle, Sting is signaling for the stinger splash, he runs and.....while sting is in mid-air HBK executes the SWEET CHIN MUSIC, sting falls to the floor 50mph, hbk hooks the leg..1...2..3!!!! HBK wins the match!!!



CHYNA VS "Y2J" CHRIS JERICHO


Don't treat me like a woman" is heard as chyna's music starts to play, out comes out chyna wearing a sexy outfit, she has her bazooka and starts to shoot the fireworks out, the crowd cheers and she walks to the ring.
3D: hmmm, here comes Chyna, all of america saw her naked... i did... me and that magazine had fun...
GWEEDO: 3D!! Calm fuckin down, you better take your pills before you get excited again and pass out!!

The Y2J countdown begins,4,3,2,1, boom!! Y2J's music begins to play, there stands Y2J with his arms stretched, he turns around throwin his hands up tryin to get the crowd into it, little does he know chyna is on his left, she attacks him from behind!!
3D: oh shit, Chyna just pimped slapped Y2J like the girl ho he looks like!!
GWEEDO: shes going to fuckin show him who wears the pants in this match!

chyna continues to beat down y2j, all the way to the ring apron, when they get there chyna throws another punch but y2j ducks and comes back with a chop to the chest..
GWEEDO: OOOO a chop to the titties!!
3D: oh shit you know females are sensitive there!!
GWEEDO: Well it should'nt have phased chyna one bit!!


Y2J throws Chyna in the ring, she gets up slow as y2j dropkicks her, she falls. y2j yells " c'mon babayyyy" chyna starts to punch y2j's stomach until shes on her feet, she then kicks him hard and executes the DDT!!
3D: Africa executes The flabby boy drop!! shit!!


she has him against the turnbuckle, she repeatedly punches him, she runs to the opposite turnbuckle and does a tumbling flip elbow!! y2j staggers to the mat, she then puts him in the boston crab
GWEEDO: Oh shit, Japan has the penguin lock slapped in!! she has y2j screamin like a woman!!
3D: i think Mexico wants to learn how, thats why shes doing this to poor y2j!


chyna lets go of the hold and starts to stomp jericho, jericho catches her foot and gets on his feet and then pushes her forward making her fall, he picks her up and executes his double powerbomb out of nowhere!! both wrestlers are on the mat, Chris Jericho gets up first, Chyna is knocked out.... Jericho takes chyna's legs and... WALLS OF JERICHO!!! Jericho has it locked in...but wait... HBK? HBK is distracting the ref by standing on the apron, Jericho releases chyna and looks at HBK, all of a sudden, Billy Gunn turns Y2J around and kicks him in the mid-section, FAMEASSER!! Billy gun takes the knocked out chyna and puts her on y2j, billy gunn leaves the ring and hbk jumps down, the ref notices the pin......1...2....3!!!! We have a new IC champ, Chyna!!

3D: Oh shit, The First IC Champion is female, this is some historic shit!!


GWEEDO: DAMN, what does Billy Gunn have to do with any of this? And HBK's ho ass interfered too? Does this shit mean Chyna is in DX??


3D: Only time will tell, we need to go a quick word from our sponsers, when we come back, Jonathan Coachman is going to try and get a word with Triple H....
SHOWDOWN CONTINUES..