chapter 9

Leah let her body relax in Jeff’s arms. Her head was pressed so hard against his chest she could feel the steady beating of his heart. She felt his eyes o her and looked up at him. “Can we talk?” he asked her softly. She nodded her reply, yes. She dropped her arms to her side, as did he. He led the way to the bedroom he and matt shared and with Amy most of the time too. Jeff shut the door and turned to look at Leah who was standing with her back to him, her arms folded across her chest. He walked over to her. He stood with his chest pressed against her back as he placed his arms carefully around her. She turned in his arms, which still encircled her. Jeff looked down at her. She was crying and shaking. Jeff went to hold her tight to him but she pulled free of his arms. She sat on the bed and patted the place next to he. “I need to tell you something’s.” She said softly as he took up the spot next to her. “Before you came to me Jeff. Simon and me have been together for eleven months. The first two months where the best two of my life but then something went wrong. I don’t know what but he came home one night and beat me. I cried for days never knowing why. The he told me…as he beat me again. He said I was a slag, a slapper, a slut, a whore, a bitch, a tramp. I listened to him and took the abuse. I thought it was the only way to keep him. I did love him and I know he loved me to. I had to quit my job and I couldn’t go out of the house. I couldn’t even get out of bed some mornings. If I did he would punish me and tell me my place was on my back in bed. He would force me to have sex with him. He would hit me whilst he did. He made me go on the pill because he hated condoms. He would shove his penis down my throat. Sometimes I was physically sick as he did and I nearly choked to death. He punished me for that too.“ She finished as she took a deep breath and continued. “It got worse over the months. The past nine months have been like living in hell, in fear. I would sometimes lie and take his beatings and wonder if he was actually going to kill me this time, was this my last memory of life.” She couldn’t continue. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Her gaze fell to her hands. She hadn’t been looking at Jeff but she had been staring into space. She let the tears out and fell to Jeff, her forehead landing on his chest. Jeff’s arms came to her shoulders; she jumped slightly at his touch but did nothing to stop him.

Jeff knew Leah was hurting and he wanted nothing more than to stop it. He didn’t know how. But he was hurting to. The pain inside him eating a way. He needed to let it out.

“Leah?” he questioned softly. Her head lifted, her face stained with her tears. “Can I tell you my story?”

“Yes.” Leah said as she rested her head into the crook of Jeff’s neck. She held back more tears as she felt Jeff moving and moving her with him. They sat up against the headboard, Leah still cradled in Jeff’s arms. “If you want to I mean.” She said as she ran a hand up Jeff’s spine and across his shoulder pulling his head down to her shoulder. They held each other and cried before Jeff began the story of the rot of his life…where it had all gone so wrong.

When he finished Leah looked at him. All her pains gone…nothing matter at the moment more than Jeff and the way he was hurting.

“I’m so sorry Jeff.” Leah said as she held him. He had curled up at her side and held her body tight to him as if it was the only support he had, and she was. “I’ve been so selfish Jeff. I only cared how I felt. I forgot how you must be hurting. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me?” She asked him through her own tears.

Jeff shook against her. She didn’t expect an answer. She just felt him tighten his grip on her. Her own tears subsided and she just lay there and stroked his hair as he gently drifted to sleep. Leaving Leah to think about her own problems again and those feelings now mixed up with what Jeff had told her and what she feared Simon would do to her and what Michael would do to Jeff.

Jeff only had his eyes closed for a couple of minutes until he stirred in Leah’s arms. He lifted his head and laid it on the pillow next to Leah.

“I did Jeff. I was only thinking about how I felt. I was so selfish. You told me this morning and I ignored you. I saw you where physically hurt but I did nothing. I never asked if you where ok, if you wanted to talk, if you needed a shoulder to cry on.”

“You had every right to be selfish, not that you where, but look at what you have been through, are still going through, you have been sexually abused, beaten by a guy that doesn’t deserve you, that treats you like crap. You deserve so much more than that Leah. He will suffocate you, you need to brake free.”

“Oh Jeff.” Leah said as she brushed he hand on the side of his face. “Thank you so much. You said so little to me but those few words in my room earlier where so powerful. Every one of them was true. I guess we know how each other are feeling, how much it hurts, physically and mentally.”

“We do. And we both need each other to help us get through this. I don’t want to leave this city without you Leah.”

“But my stuff is all in there.” She said referring to the room she had shared with Simon.

“Because I care about you and I need you. Please come with me. What do you say?” he asked pleading into her eyes.