Title: Conversations
Author: SlasheR
Rating: It changes from conversation to conversation, from PG-13(language)
to NC-17(major perversion). This installment is probably PG-13
Warnings: Once again, ranges from convo to convo. The only warning that
applies to all parts is Major Silliness. For this part, language is the
thing to watch out for.
Characters: A shitload
Distribution: Ask me, I have a couple conditions
Disclaimer: Don't own any wrestlers, don't know any screennames, SlasheR is
me, but it ain't actually my s/n. The musi also belong to me
Summary: Fictional conversations between me, various wrestlers, and my musi
Notes: These conversations never happened, but I do have voices in my
head...just kidding(looks around nervously). This isn't the muse story that
will make my misbehaving Jeffys make sense. That'll come later.
Feedback: I'm usually no good at humor, so pleeeeeeease!! This time I won't
even threaten you :-)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
RainbowBrite: Hey, you're that SlasheR chick, right???
SlasheR: No shit, sherlock
RainbowBrite: No need to be cranky, I just wanted to make sure you were the
Slash author I've been looking for
SlasheR: Well, I don't know if I'm the specific one...
RainbowBrite: You wrote the War Series, right??
SlasheR: Yeah, that's me. Sorry I bitched at ya, I've been up all night
writing. So, how did you get my sn???
RainbowBrite: I have my ways. By the way, my name is Jeff
SlasheR: That's so kool!! One of my favorite wrestlers is named Jeff too!!!
RainbowBrite: That's me
SlasheR: Very funny
RainbowBrite: No, seriously, I'm Jeff Hardy
SlasheR: Unh-unh, I ain't falling for it this time
RainbowBrite: I really am!! I know lots of embarrassing stuff about Matt, if
you need proof
SlasheR: Never mind, I believe you. I probably don't want to know.
RainbowBrite: That's for certain
SlasheR: Actually, there is *one* thing I've always wanted to know...
RainbowBrite: I can probably guess. You slash authors are all alike
SlasheR: Hey!! How would you know??
RainbowBrite: I've read some of that shit you guys write about us...you
can't be too lily-white. Anyway, I bet I know what you wanna know about
Matt: How long is it, right??
SlasheR: No!!! Although that info would probably bring a good price on
EBay...
RainbowBrite: So what was it you wanted to know??
SlasheR: Boxers, or breifs??
RainbowBrite: I knew it had something to do with the nether regions!! Matt
never wears breifs, says they're too restricting...*sheesh*...he wears
boxers, unless he's got a hot date, in which case he wears a thong. And then
there's laundry day...
SlasheR: You can stop there, thanks. So, Jeff, out of curiosity, why did you
contact me??
RainbowBrite: Yours was the only s/n I could get. I'm just kinda curious
about something...
SlasheR: What??
RainbowBrite: WHY THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE ASSUME I'M
GAY??!!!??!!??!!!??!!!??!!!
SlasheR: Calm down. Let's go in a chat room, I've got some friends who can
help me explain.
RainbowBrite: More slash authors??
SlasheR: Not exactly...
RainbowBrite: Fine, we'll go in a chat
~In the chat~
RainbowBrite: So where are your 'friends'??
SlasheR: The first one should be here any minute. First, I've got some
things I need to explain
RainbowBrite: Like why I'm gay in your mind??
SlasheR: That'll come soon. First...
~WMJeffy has entered the room~
RainbowBrite: WMJeffy???
SlasheR: One of my muses, Well-Mannered Jeffy
RainbowBrite: What's a muse??
SlasheR: I was about to explain that before he got here
WMJeffy: Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. You said it was urgent
SlasheR: It's ok. Did any of the other musi notice you left???
WMJeffy: A couple of the Matts did, but you know how over-alert they are
RainbowBrite: What the Hell are you guys talking about??
SlasheR: Sorry, I'll explain
RainbowBrite: Finally!!
SlasheR: When slash authors write fics, we're not actually writing about
wrestlers
RainbowBrite: Huh?? It sure seems like it!!
SlasheR: Well, actually we're writing about figments of our own imagination,
called muses
WMJeffy: Like me, I'm a muse
RainbowBrite: So the 'friends' you said would help explain it, those are
muses?? I'm still confused. If you're writing about figments of your own
imagination, why use our names??
WMJeffy: Can I explain this part??
SlasheR: Go right ahead
WMJeffy: Ok, our(meaning musi) *personalities* are figments of the
imagination, but your bodies are used
SlasheR: When you became a celebrity, you subjected yourself to sex symbol
status
WMJeffy: Like, I'm Well-Mannered Jeffy. When it fits, SlasheR takes my
personality and pairs it with your body. There's lots of muses, BouncyJeffy,
SweetJeffy, RomanticJeffy, and then there's...
~HornyJeffy has entered the room~
HornyJeffy: Whooo, a party!!! Why wasn't I invited
WMJeffy: You were too busy looking for a BJ
SlasheR: Will you two cool it!! This is the real Jeff!!
HornyJeffy: Howdy
RainbowBrite: Uhh, hi...who the Hell is that??
SlasheR: That's my HornyJeffy muse. I apologize in advance for anything he
might do
RainbowBrite: That sounds promising
HornyJeffy: Hey, cool it SlasheR!! I just came in here 'cause there's
something wrong with HornyMatty
RainbowBrite: Who??
SlasheR: HornyMatty. I have more than just Jeffy musi, you know. I also have
Mattys, Shane-Os, Adams, Jasons, Edges, Christians, and Vinny-Macs. When my
musi misbehave, I keep them in line with my icky-musi: Rikishis, Road Doggs,
Billys, and the most disgusting of all Ickys: Viscera
RainbowBrite: You would make me sleep with Viscera??
SlasheR: Not *you*!! A misbehaving muse in your body. I would never dream of
actually forcing the real Jeff Hardy to screw anyone, much like I would
never make any statements about the real Jeff's sexuality
RainbowBrite: So you don't *really* think I'm gay??
SlasheR: Despite the hair dye, tight clothes, and nail polish, no
HornyJeffy: SlasheR!!
SlasheR: What?!?!?!
HornyJeffy: I need you to come fix HornyMatty
WMJeffy: Come to think of it, he didn't look too good when I left
SlasheR: What's wrong with him??
HornyJeffy: He's got blue balls
RainbowBrite: Excuse me??
SlasheR: Another thing about my musi: they take things quite literally
RainbowBrite: So his balls are actually blue???
HornyJeffy: Yep, cuz of 'If You Could Only See, you stopped the sex scene
right in the middle, and now he won't do anyone :-(
WMJeffy: Good!! You two can do something else with your lives besides fuck!!
RainbowBrite: Wait, how do they, erm, *you know* if they're only
personalities??
SlasheR: They have bodies in my mind, so they can go on living normal lives
until I need them
RainbowBrite: Ohhh, I get it
HornyJeffy: Anyway, pleeeeease fix him!!!
RainbowBrite: How do you fix him??
WMJeffy: Put him in a nice, steamy, PWP
RainbowBrite: PWP??
SlasheR: Plot-What-Plot, basically pure smut, nothing but sex. Only way to
cure a musi's blue balls
RainbowBrite: I see. Well, you'd better go fix your muse. Thanks for
explaining!!
SlasheR: No problem. Thanks for the info!!
RanbowBrite: Hey, just to show you how much I appreciate it, I'll take my
shirt off in the next match just for you
SlasheR: Thanks!!! Can I TTYL??
RainbowBrite: Sure!! Bye
WMJeffy: Bye
HornyJeffy: See ya
~RainbowBrite has exited the chat room~
HornyJeffy: Now fix Matty!!!
SlasheR: Give me a minute!!! Don't make me pair you with...
HornyJeffy: I'm leaving!!!!
~HornyJeffy has exited the chat room~
WMJeffy: Was I helpful??
SlasheR: Very. I'm gonna put you in a reeeeeeeeally nice story as thanks.
WMJeffy: Thank you!!! I'd better get back to WMMatty, he's probably lonely
~WMJeffy has exited chat room~
~SlasheR has exited chat room~
