¤The OCW logo fades out and the logo for the pay per view appears on television screens all across the globe...¤
¤BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Fireworks shoot off from around the entrance area in a vast array of colors. The fans are on their feet, waving their signs in the air attempting to get on television. Thousands and thousands of people make up the sea of humanity in the OCW arena in Chicago, Illinois. Along with the millions of people watching from homes all around the world, they can’t wait for the show to start...or so they think.¤
Cameron Cade: Hello all and welcome to what is sure to be a fantastic-
Chase Cassidy: And unforgetable!
Cameron Cade: ...night. What a show we have for you! I'm Cameron Cade and this is my broadcast colleague-
Chase Cassidy: Ah hem! And I am your host for tonight's show...the host with the most of course...the son your mother never had...I am Chase Cassidy, the shining star of the OCW Announce Team!
Cameron Cade: Shining star my ass!
Chase Cassidy: Ooo! Isn't that painful!?
Cameron Cade: Chase...get your mind out of the gutter!
Chase Cassidy: Well I'm assuming you weren't talking about a donkey...
Cameron Cade: Yeah, and you being the shining star of the announce team is sure something special. There's a whole two of us who speak english for god's sake.
Chase Cassidy: Oh, don't you bring god into this. He's my right hand man!
Cameron Cade: Chase...we don't want to hear about how you pleasure yourself at night!
Chase Cassidy: Huh?
Cameron Cade: You're a quick one, har dee har har! Anyway, on tonight's show, we have many spectacular matches planned for you all! Starting with-
Voice: Excuse me! EXCUUUUUUSAH ME!
Cameron Cade: Oh great...
Chase Cassidy: Way to show your enthusiasm Cam! Ow ow! Wooo! It's...
¤Everyone in the building immediately starts booing as the OCW Commissioner walks out onto the stage with his mandatory clipboard in hand, pen in pocket, and a huge smile on his face.¤
Chase Cassidy: Commissioner Cyrus! Ow Ow! *whistles*
Cameron Cade: Chase...is there something you haven't told us about you and Cyrus? Wait, nevermind, I don't want to know.
Cyrus: *pointing at Cameron Cade* Shut 'cho mouth foo'!
Cameron Cade: Oh great, the white version of Mr. T has returned!
Chase Cassidy: Oh shush Cam, you're just jealous because Cyrus is down with the lingo cuz'...he's a brotha' kinfolk!
Cameron Cade: If you say so...
¤The fans are booing so loud Cyrus can't even be heard on his microphone. Finally the crowd dies down enough for Cyrus to start...¤
Cyrus: Thank you! Thank you all! It's just completely wonderful to be back! I mean, I couldn't be feeling anymore fabulous than I do right now. I know all of you Chicagoans have missed me a great deal, and I apologize for my recent absence from your city. But quite frankly, I've had...well...more important matters to deal with. Matters the likes of you would never even be able to contemplate, let alone comprehend! You people can't fool me with your warm reception. I can see right through you! Through all of you! You aren't kidding anyone!
Cameron Cade: And who exactly are they to be kidding in the first place?
Chase Cassidy: Shh! I'm trying to listen!
Cameron Cade: Chase! ARE YOU TAKING NOTES!?
Chase Cassidy: Uh...um...no? Okay, yes I am. I just need to make sure I remember all the important points Cyrus is going to touch on.
Cameron Cade: I don't think you'll need all that paper then...
¤Everyone in the building is booing Cyrus at this point. A very large lady makes her way through the crowd into the front row.¤
Cyrus: Excuse me! Show me some respect here you mere civilians! I'm with the Office you know! I have the brass! Now as I was sayi-...
¤An undergarment flies from the audience into the ring...onto Cyrus' shoulder. He seems to be very flattered by the "present"¤
Cyrus: Oh...oh my...well...oo...thank you ma'am...
Chase Cassidy: Cyrus...he is a ladies' man...what can I say?
Cameron Cade: Oh yeah, he's a modern day Elvis Presley that Cyrus.
¤Cyrus pulls the underwear off his shoulder and opens it up completely...he is completely appalled.¤
Cameron Cade: AHAHAHA!
Cyrus: Oh good god! OCK!
¤Cyrus drops the panties immediately and attempts to wipe his hands off on his nice suit.¤
Cyrus: Oh dear god, that is disgusting! Those panties could fit a giant squid! Well...if giant squid wore underwear that is. Jesus! Cade! You think that's funny!? HUH!? DO YOU!? You better watch your mouth or it's going to get you in trouble. I'm with the OFFICE YOU KNOW!
¤Cyrus shows his name tag to everyone in the audience and specifically Cade.¤
Cyrus: Anyway, now to get down to business...we have what is likely to be a great show tonight! Even though you people don't deserve it...with your beer bellies and your foul smelling carcasses! I mean seriously, I've been around garbage heeps that smell like roses compared to you people!
Cameron Cade: I sure don't smell anything...do you Chase?
Chase Cassidy: Shh...no comment...I'm busy!
Cyrus: Tonight will be an Office night! My team, the Office, will pick up many victories over Stephanie's Corporation! Tonight will be just the beginning of the downfall of Steph's power within the OCW. I was hoping for Steph's Corporation to implode, rather than explode, because implosion is much more interesting, but I don't think we'll get that. Seeing as how the her team is already in shambles, explosion is the only way to go. That's right, three current Corporation members will battle it out to keep their spot in that stable. Quite frankly, it's lose-lose for them, and win-win for the Office!! My associate Rhino will also defeat the Corporation's up and comer Rob Van Dam in a Falls Count Anywhere in this arena match! And finally, in the Main Event here tonight for OCW Shattered Dreams, it'll be just that for Kevin Nash! Nash has dreamed of getting his hands on the OCW Title for a long time. Well thanks to my ally in the man they call Raven, Nash's dreams will be completely shattered! INTO A MILLION PIECES TOO! HAH HAH! Hopefully Raven will SHATTER a few of Nash's bones while he's at it, and that skull of his is a pretty big target! Well that's all I have for now...but don't worry, you'll be seeing me again later tonight. Thank you all for you time...ah, who am I kidding!? You people are a disgrace...you certainly are not the model audience of OCW fans! You deserve no thank you! Good b-
¤The Corporation's music hits, interrupting Cyrus. He looks very angry, and a tad bit worried. chairman of OCW Stephanie McMahon comes out onto the stage to a chorus of cheers. Everyone loves Steph, especially when she shuts Cyrus up!¤
Cameron Cade: Thank god for Stephanie! Someone has to shut this buffoon up...I thought he'd go on for hours upon hours!
Chase Cassidy: *cough* kiss ass *cough*
Cameron Cade: What's that Chase? Need a cough drop? I have three flavors! You want a WALLAMELON!? Huh? Do ya?
Chase Cassidy: No thanks, I don't know where that's been.
Stephanie: EXCUSE ME! EXCUUSE ME CYRUS!
Cyrus: You are definately not excused you-
Stephanie: ENT! ZIP IT!
¤Cyrus is stunned!¤
Stephanie: I think these people have heard enough of your useless babbling. So I thought I'd relieve them of hearing your voice and come out here to tell you that...YOU'RE WRONG! The Corporation will not be defeated by the likes of your little Office Goonies. After tonight, you'll see, and all these great OCW fans will see, the Corporation is strong than your Office.
Cyrus: Pfft...we'll just have to see won't we.
Stephanie: I already covered that. I told you that you'll see...but thanks for repeating my words. That makes me know you understand. Tonight...the Office is going DOWN!
¤The crowd goes absolutely nuts!¤
Cameron Cade: I'd do anything to see Steph hand Cyrus his ass right now. But I doubt she could give it to him with his head screwed in there.
Chase Cassidy: Hey! Stop making references to Cyrus' glutes!
Cyrus: Well I've got one thing to say to yo-
Stephanie: No, you don't. I have one last thing to say to you. I'm issuing a sort of challenge to you...let's add a little more of a stipulation to the RVD vs Rhino match, shall we?
Cyrus: I'm listening...
Stephanie: If Rhino wins, you can have anything you want...like complete control of Madness for a couple weeks...whatever you want as long as it's not COMPLETELY unjust.
Cyrus: And...
Stephanie: AND...if RVD wins...I get a match...with YOU right after their match. What do you say?
Cyrus: Uh...um...You're on! I hope you're ready for whatever I propose once Rhino has won the match. Hah! Stephanie...you just screwed yourself!
Stephanie: No Cyrus...I didn't, I screwed you...you'll see!
¤Cyrus looks up with a smirk on his face¤
Stephanie: Not like that Cyrus...in your dreams!
¤The Corporation music hits and Stephanie exits.¤
Chase Cassidy: She wants him...