Paul Heyman: I know you’re all probably wondering why ECW is FINALLY back, so I’m going to tell you, and I’m going to cut to the chase. You see, I don’t have to have a twenty five minute segment to get my point across like good old Vinnie Mac, oh no! You see, on January 13th, 2001 ECW held what everyone thought would be the last show. Everyone...from Joey here...to all the boys in the back...to the entire professional wrestling industry, they all thought ECW was dead and buried. Everyone thought that ECW had closed it’s doors for good. And after years of the WWF stealing our ideas, stealing our extreme ATTITUDE, and robbing us of our talent, I can’t blame anyone who thought those things. To tell you the truth, I thought it was dead too. There was no way I could pull it out of the hole that had been dug. So Vince McMahon, being the business man he is, offered me a position with the WWF which I accepted. From that position, I worked my ass off to get former ECW stars the recognition they deserved in the WWF. Hell, they worked their asses off here in ECW and for not a huge salary...they deserved it. What I soon found out is that what Vince says, GOES. Vince has the most voice in any subject, and he has the final say. You know what else I found out? I found out that no matter how hard you try to convince the man of something, he doesn’t listen!! HIS MASSIVE EGO TAKES CONTROL! He doesn’t care about his wrestlers, he doesn’t care about the fans, all he cares about is him. HIM! HIM! HIM! The most important thing I found out about Vince McMahon is that TALENT DOESN’T MATTER TO HIM! He doesn’t care if someone can wrestle their ass off day in, day out. All he cares about is whether that wrestler can make him money! Yet, he’s not even willing to give talent television time to find out if they’re money makers or not! Let me say this...FUCK YOU VINCE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR EGO! FUCK YOUR MONEY! FUCK YOUR WWF! ECW IS BACK AND THERE’S NOT A GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Paul Heyman: I guess I still haven’t answered the question at hand though. Yes, ECW is back and better than ever. Here’s why...I’m usually not a gambler. I figure I don’t need to take chances with my money that I don’t need to. One night this thought popped into my head though, and it got me dreaming. So...I figured, what the hell!? I went out and bought a lottery ticket. Wednesday night I flipped on the television, because of course Vince wasn’t putting me on TV. What do you know!? PAUL E. FUCKING HEYMAN WON THE LOTTERY!!! Not only did I win...I WON BIIIIIIG! A few nights later I showed up at the WWF tapings and I gathered many of my former ECW stars, and even some new wrestlers who I thought would be beneficial. After all, Vince doesn’t care about talent. I decided that since he doesn’t care, I’ll just SUCK THE TALENT OUT OF THE GOD DAMNED WWF! Before Vince realized what was happening, I had my new roster, and he was out thirty plus “WWF” superstars!!!

::More "E-C-DUB" chants start!::

Paul Heyman: Now, to clear up the title situations, I’ve constructed tournaments for the ECW World Title, the ECW Television Title, the ECW Tag Team Titles, and in honor of that asshole Vinnie Mac...the ECW INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE! Hows that Vince!? Do you like that!? Feels different doesn’t? For once, you’re not the one doing the slapping...I’m the one SLAPPING YOU IN THE FACE EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING STYLE!

::The very verbal ECW crowd starts a "VIIIIINCE SUUUUCKS!" chant!::

Paul Heyman: With that all cleared up...welcome us back...because E-C-W is back and BETTER THAN EVER!

::The ECW Theme hits the speakers and Heyman drops the mic, leaving to a chorus of "E-C-DUB!" chants::

Joey Styles: Wow...what an emotion filled evening it’s going to be! Heyman won it big and ECW is back! Up next we have the first match since the reopening of ECW, and it’s the first match of the ECW Tag Team Titles tournament–

Voice: Hello Joey, welcome to my show!

Joey Styles: Wah...WHAT!?

::We see Chase Cassidy from OCW come up from behind Joey and sit down next to him::

Joey Styles: Chase Cassidy? Oh great...what are you doing here!?

Chase Cassidy: Well Joe, if you don’t mind me calling you that...OCW has decided to let you co-host ECW Hardcore TV along with me! Lucky you!

Joey Styles: Oh yeah, lucky me. I’m thrilled...nonetheless, welcome aboard.

Chase Cassidy: The real reason is because Cyrus didn’t think you could cut the mustard by yourself so to speak. So he brought me in to make you look good.

Joey Styles: That sounds like Cyrus...

::"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" hits the PA system and out come the Impact Players Justin Credible and Lance Storm! They do their pose on the stage, then go to the ring::

::"Sun Shining Down on Me" by Jackyl plays and out comes E.Z. Money dressed in rip-away pants, golden suspenders, sparkling hat, and a bow tie. He points backwards as he walks on the stage and out comes Confederate Currency Chris Hamrick. They make their way to the ring where E.Z. does a little strip tease::

Chase Cassidy: oW oW!

Joey Styles: Keep it in your pants Chase...this match is the first in the tournament to crown the ECW Tag Team Champions!

::Chris Hamrick and Justin Credible start the match out. They circle each other a few times, and Money catches Credible by his shorts allowing Hamrick to pounce. He pounds on Credible in the corner, then distracts the referee as Money chokes Credible. Credible runs at Hamrick who throws him with a back body drop. Hamrick plants a legdrop...1...2...Credible quickly kicks out. Hamrick twists Credible's arm and takes him over, tagging in E.Z. Money who kicks Credible in the ribs. Money whips Credible off the ropes and lands a dropkick. Both get up and Credible catches a kick from Money. Money flips over backwards escaping, but Credible levels him with a clothesline. Lance Storm gets tagged him. He hits Money with a series of perfectly executed dropkicks. He bounces Money off the ropes and goes for a superkick. Money ducks it and kicks Storm low. He sets him up for a suplex, but lets go in mid air, dropping Storm to the mat. 1...2...Storm gets the shoulder up. E.Z. Money rolls Storm onto his stomach and grabs his legs in a reverse liontamer. He pulls Storms arms up, with Storm’s feet locked under his arms in a cradle type submission move!::

Chase Cassidy: What a submission by Mister Money!

Joey Styles: Wrong station Chase! He calls that the Pendulum of Pain!

Chase Cassidy: I know that Joe, I’m a big fan of E.Z. Money.

Joey Styles: I think you’re more than just a fan...

Chase Cassidy: JOE..momma! Oo dang! BUS!

Joey Styles: What!?

::Storm won’t submit so Money tags in Hamrick. Hamrick lays Storm out with a ddt and E.Z. Money sits on the top rope. Hamrick climbs up behind him and stands on his shoulders, then leaps off with a massive legdrop!! 1...2...Justin Credible breaks the count! While the ref gets Credible back in his corner, Money picks Storm up with a powerbomb and Hamrick plants him with a reverse ddt! 1...2...Storm kicks out! Storm makes the hot tag to Justin Credible who comes in and takes out both members of Hot Commodity with clotheslines. He picks E.Z. Money up and is looking for That’s Incredible, but Hamrick clips the back of his knee. Storm and Money get back in their respective corners. Credible hits a suplex then bounces Hamrick off the ropes connection with a loud superkick. 1...2...Hamrick kicks out. They both bounce off the ropes and connect with a double clothesline knocking both down. Credible and Hamrick make the tags to their tag team partners. Storm gets in the ring first and runs at Money. Money flips over the top rope and takes Lance Storm’s head off with the Money Clip! E.Z. Money gets Storm in position for the Money in the Bank, but Credible comes in and waffles Money with a singapore cane!! He knocks Hamrick to the floor with a shot as well. E.Z. Money walks right into That’s Incredible! Storm gets his arm across Money’s chest...1...2...3!!::

Chase Cassidy: HEY! That’s not fair!

Joey Styles: What’s not fair!?

Chase Cassidy: Credible just hit my boy E.Z. Money with the cane, and the referee didn’t even do anything!

Joey Styles: You never watched ECW much, did you Chase? In any case, Justin Credible and Lance Storm, advance in the Tag Team Tournament. The Impact Players move on!

Chase Cassidy: Pfft...Impact my ass!

Joey Styles: Please, I really don’t want to hear about your personal life.

Chase Cassidy: HEY–

::Backstage...Cyrus is talking with Rhino...::

Cyrus: Thank you Rhino, believe you me, you won’t regret it!

Rhino: What about my match?

Cyrus: You’ve got your match, don’t worry, I’m with the Office. I’m looking at our next ECW Champion!!

Rhino: Damn right...

::Rhino grins evilly as he walks off. Cyrus spots Kevin Nash out of the corner of his eye and rushes toward him::

Cyrus: Kevin!

Kevin Nash: That’s Mr. Nash to you bub.

Cyrus: Right...I’ve got a little preposition for you!

Kevin Nash: Oh, you do?

Cyrus: Yeah, please...come to my office with me and we’ll discuss it. Believe me...you WON’T regret this...just hear me out.

::Cyrus smiles at Nash. Nash seems reluctant but goes along anyway::

Chase Cassidy: What a guy!! Cyrus is the man! He’s with the Office!

Joey Styles: Yes, I know...but what was all that about? He told Nash he won’t regret it...

Chase Cassidy: I have no clue. You never know with Cyrus, he’s a great business man.

Joey Styles: Depending on your viewpoint I guess.

::"Christian! Christian!" The fans boo as the self-titled "Diamond in the Rough" Christian appears on stage. He struts to the ring, insulting the fans on his way::

::"Nitro" by the Offspring hits the speakers. Stevie Richards appears on stage smiling like a buffoon. The fans aren’t really sure how to react at first, but he slaps their hands while making his way down the aisle::

Joey Styles: This should be an excellent matchup.

Chase Cassidy: Look at this, Richards is afraid to get in the ring with Christian!

Joey Styles: He’s not afraid, Christian just won’t let him in the ring in the first place!

Chase Cassidy: I can’t say I don’t blame him for being afraid though...Christian is a tough character.

Joey Styles: Oh yeah, he’s real tough, especially when he cheats.

Chase Cassidy: He’s the Diamond in the Rough!

Joey Styles: He gave himself that nickname, I don’t know who he’s trying to fool...

::Richards slides in the ring and Christian immediately starts stomping away. He bounces Stevie off the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Stevie ducks it and follows up with a belly to back suplex! They get up and Stevie swings at Christian. Christian ducks and starts hitting Richards with rights and lefts. Stevie swing at Christian and again, he ducks. He hooks Richards from behind and drops him with a reverse ddt right onto his knee! 1...2...Richards kicks out. Christian pulls him up and hits three consecutive snap suplexes. 1...2...Stevie kicks out again! Christian scolds the referee giving Richards the opportunity the roll him up! 1...2...Christian kicks out! They both get up and Christian charges at Richards. Stevie moves out of the way and Christian hits the turnbuckles. He stumbles back and Richards catches him with a reverse bulldog! He bounces off the ropes and drops a knee onto Christian...1...2...Christian kicks out! Stevie goes to the top rope where Christian soon crotches him. Christian lifts Richards off the top rope and they both smash into the mat with a superplex!::

Chase Cassidy: What a superplex by Christian! He’s my hero!

Joey Styles: Neither man is moving! That move took a toll on both of them! If Christian could make the cover, he’d probably have the match won.

Chase Cassidy: PROBABLY!? He had the match won before it even started, of course he’d have it won now!

Joey Styles: Well hopefully he doesn’t underestimate Stevie Richards like you do.

::Both men finally get to their feet. Christian runs at Stevie who lifts him high into the air and lands with an atomic drop! Christian holds his...goods...and Richards clotheslines him down hard. He backs up into the corner while Christian tries to get to his feet. Stevie Richards stomps on the mat while holding the ropes, signaling for the STEVIE KICK! Christian turns around and Richards goes for the Stevie Kick which is ducked. Christian hooks Richards, turns him around, and drives him face first into the mat with the Unprettier! 1...2...3!!::

Chase Cassidy: I knew it! I knew it! I told you Joseph!

Joey Styles: Oh, now I’m Joseph? You must hang around Cyrus too much.

Chase Cassidy: Christian doesn’t look too happy for just winning...

Joey Styles: I’m afraid to ask, but what is Christian up to?

::Christian slides outside the ring looking extremely angry. He grabs a chair and slides back in the ring. Stevie Richards uses the ropes to pull himself up. He turns around only to get clocked with the chair! Stevie stumbles backwards into the corner and Christian waffles him with the chair again. Richards falls to the mat where Christian continues the assault. All of a sudden the fans go crazy! Raven slides into the ring and grabs the chair from Christian. He quickly opens it and sets it down, then hits a drop toe hold, Christian’s face driving right into the seat of the chair! Christian rolls out of the ring and heads toward the back holding his face. Raven helps a bloody Richards to his feet and raises his arm in the air, then does the sign of the Crucifix and leaves. Richards, left alone in the ring, looks puzzled::

Joey Styles: Raven made the save for Stevie Richards after that vicious assault by Christian!

Chase Cassidy: Why the hell did Raven help Richards? Why would he even care?

Joey Styles: Raven has always been a little bit of an enigma, he’s probably playing mind games with Richards again.

Chase Cassidy: I wouldn’t be surprised...

::Backstage...in a room labeled "Hell"...::

Sinister Minister: Welcome to my...humble abode! AHAHAHAHAH! "The devil, when he dresses himself in angel’s clothes, can only be detected by experts of exceptional skill, and so often does he attempt this disguise that it is hardly safe to be seen talking to an angel at all." -Samuel Butler...My Unholy Alliance has been entered into the ECW Tag Team Tournament. So for all those members of the Unholy Parish, don’t you worry your pretty little heads. Mikey Whipwreck and Yoshihiro Tajiri will be the first new ECW Tag Team Champions! AHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAH!!

::Tajiri and Whipwreck roll into the dim, blood colored light laughing hysterically like the Sinister Minister. The Minister points his cane toward the camera and it goes up in flames, soon disappearing. They continue to laugh as the camera fades into darkness::

::"Stayin Alive" hits the speakers and out comes the Extreme Stud, Little Guido Maritato! He flips the fans off and they don’t appreciate it as they start to boo::

::"MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!" Kid Kash’s music plays and the fans go crazy! He comes out and slaps the hands of the fans all around ringside before getting in the ring::

Joey Styles: What a reaction for Kid Kash! I think these ECW fans had had some Kid Kash withdrawl!

Chase Cassidy: PFFT! They’re just trying to leech onto his stardom is all. Look at him, he touches all the people in the audience! He’s going to contract something one of these days, then he’ll realize what’s important.

Joey Styles: And what would that be?

Chase Cassidy: He’ll tell you when he figures it out...

Joey Styles: This is the first match in the short tournament to crown an ECW Television Champion!

::Kash runs toward Guido who quickly catches him with a tiltawhirl backbreaker! Kash gets back up but Guido takes out his knee with a dropkick. Kash gets back up and gets hit with one snap suplex after another. 1...2...Kash kicks out. Guido bounces off the ropes and drops a leg on Kash. Guido gets up and goes for another legdrop, but Kash moves out of the way. Guido hits nothing but mat. Kash jumps onto and off of the middle rope, turns in midair , and dropkicks Guido right in the face. Both men get up and Kash kicks Guido in the stomach. He jumps onto the top rope and springboards off, nailing a sunset flip on Guido...1...2...Guido barely kicks out. Kash goes for a hurricanrana, but Guido slams him to the mat with a sitout powerbomb. Kash gets to his knees while Guido ascends to the top turnbuckle. He leaps off with the Sicilian Slice driving Kash’s face into the mat! 1...2...Kash kicks out! Guido rolls to the outside and folds up a chair. He hops onto the apron with the chair only to get it dropkicked into his face. Guido falls to the cold concrete. When he gets to his feet, Kash springboards off the top rope and nails Guido with a somersault plancha!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!

Chase Cassidy: Oh cool it...he just did a little flippy-doo.

Joey Styles: And took out the Extreme Stud Little Guido!

Chase Cassidy: You just wait, Guido is WAY more than that Kid Rock wannabe can handle.

Joey Styles: What a match this has been already!

::Kash clubs his arm against the back of Guido on the outside, then ddts him on the floor. Kash hops onto the ring apron and anxiously awaits as Guido gets to his feet. Kash leaps off and nails a flying hurricanrana on the floor! He pushes Guido into the ring and follows. 1...2...Guido gets the shoulder up! They both get up and Kash springboards off the top rope and lands on Guido’s shoulders. Guido maneuvers him a little, then drops him with a TKO! 1...2...Kash barely kicks out! Guido goes for the Kiss of Death, but Kash pushes him into the ropes. Guido bounces back, then whips Kash into the ropes. He catches Kid Kash with a sleeper hold. Kid Kash nails a jawbreaker, then kicks Guido in the stomach. He gets a double underhook on Guido, then lifts him up, and drops him with the Money Maker! 1...2...3!::

Chase Cassidy: NO! NO! NO!

Joey Styles: Kid Kash advances in the Television Title Tournament!

Chase Cassidy: Is the Money Maker even a legal wrestling move!?

Joey Styles: Of course it is...not like it would matter here in ECW...

Chase Cassidy: I think I’m going to have to talk to Cyrus about that. He could seriously injure someone with that.

Joey Styles: Oh come on, that’s one of the risks you take being in this business.

Chase Cassidy: You would probably like seeing someone get their neck broken from that wouldn’t you Joseph? You sick, sick man!

::Backstage...Raven and Stevie Richards are talking, Richards holding a washcloth on his forehead. The locker room door opens and in steps...TOMMY DREAMER! Stevie Richards looks extremely surprised. He looks at Raven, who remains emotionless, and then back at Dreamer, seemingly waiting for sometime big to happen::

Tommy Dreamer: ...I think we need to talk...

::Raven opens a chair for Dreamer. Dreamer sits down and the locker room door closes::

::"A Certain of Green" by Incubus echoes throughout the arena. Shane Helms and Shannon Moore run out onto the stage and pose for the adoring fans, then head to the ring::

::"Sad But True" by a horrible band, Metallica, blasts out of the speakers. Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to a nice ovation, followed by Psicosis. They shake hands then make their way to the ring. Once there, they exchange handshakes with both Helms and Moore and the bell rings::

Joey Styles: It looks like Rey Mysterio Jr. will be starting this match out against Shane Helms.

Chase Cassidy: You’re quite the observant one Joe.

Joey Styles: Thanks, I try...*mumbling* smartass...

::Rey ducks a clothesline from Shane Helms, who then bounces off the ropes. He goes for a head scissors, but Rey tries counter it, then Helms gets out of it landing on his feet. He sends Rey Jr. bouncing off the ropes. Shane goes for a dropkick, but Rey stops and Helms falls short. Rey goes for an elbowdrop, but Shane kicks up to his feet and Rey hits canvas only. Helms goes for a legdrop but Rey rolls out of the way. Rey bounces off the ropes and nails a dropkick to Helms who was sitting up on the mat after that missed legdrop! Rey springs off the middle rope, turns in midair and drops two legs across the chest of Helms! 1...2...Helms gets the shoulder up! Rey Jr. gets on the top turnbuckle and sits down. Helms charges at him only to get a big boot to the face. Mysterio hooks Helms and drives him headfirst into the mat with a tornado ddt. 1...2...kickout by Helms. Rey Mysterio Jr. tags in Psicosis who comes in and stomps on Shane’s head. He bounces Helms off the ropes and follows it up with a tiltawhirl backbreaker! Helms tries to tag in Shannon Moore, but Psicosis pulls him away and drops an elbow into his kidney. He pulls Helms to his feet and Shane kicks at him. Psicosis catches Shane’s leg, but Shane yanks Psicosis in by his hair and plants him with a ddt! He slowly crawls over and makes the tag to Shannon Moore who comes in with a head of steam. Rey Jr. also hops in, only to be clotheslined by Moore::

Joey Styles: Shannon Moore tagged in! He’s clearing house!

Chase Cassidy: YAWN...Joseph, not even you can make this match seem entertaining.

Joey Styles: But this match is entertaining! Shannon Moore is on fire! He’s taking both Rey Jr. and Psicosis out at the same time!

::Rey Jr. goes to the top rope and jumps onto Shannon’s shoulders, only to be powerbombed down. Psicosis runs at Moore who catches him with a hurricanrana sending him up and over the top rope to the floor. Rey Jr. uses the ropes to pull himself up. Helms nails him with a superkick knocking him through the ropes. Helms goes to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, taking both men out on the outside with a frogsplash. Once the three men on the outside get to their feet, Shannon Moore bounces off the ropes farthest away from them. He runs and flips over the top rope and takes out all three men with his senton!::

Chase Cassidy: Now look at that! Shannon Moore just took out his own partner with that flip over the top rope! He doesn’t even care about his partner! How horrible!

Joey Styles: He may have taken out his partner, but he took out both of his opponents too.

Chase Cassidy: What an uncaring individual, how dare him!

Joey Styles: That’s a chance he took, we’ll see if it helps them any.

::Shannon rolls Psicosis, the legal man, back into the ring. He covers him...1...2...Psicosis barely kicks out! Shannon bounces off the ropes and catches Psicosis with a flying tornado ddt! 1...2...Psicosis gets the shoulder up once again! Rey Jr. hops onto the ring apron behind Moore with a chair. He’s about to hit Shannon with it, but Shane Helms sneaks up under him and powerbombs him off the apron! Rey Mysterio Jr. lands on the chair and on the concrete! "E-C-DUB!" chants break out. Shannon goes for a suplex, but Psicosis reverses it into a brainbuster of his own! 1...2...Shannon kicks out. Psicosis goes to the top rope looking for his guillotine legdrop, but Helms pushes him off into the ring. Shannon kicks him in the stomach, puts his leg on the back of Psicosis’ head, and drives him face first into the mat! 1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: Shane Helms and Shannon Moore pick up the win and advance in the Tag Team Tournament!

Chase Cassidy: Phew, that god that match is over. Helms cheated...he powerbombed Rey on that chair.

Joey Styles: Chase, that’s perfectly legal here in ECW. You REALLY never watched ECW did you?

Chase Cassidy: Why would I? It was on the hick station!

Joey Styles: What?

Chase Cassidy: TNN Joseph...TNN.

::Backstage...Dawn Marie is standing by with Kurt Angle...::

Dawn Marie: Kurt Angle...

Kurt Angle: Um...what’s your name?

Dawn Marie: Dawn Marie

Kurt Angle: Oh, Dawn Marie..

Dawn Marie: That’s me!

Kurt Angle: That’s great...how about you just let me talk?

::Kurt snatches the microphone from Dawn Marie, who doesn’t appreciate it::

Kurt Angle: Your Olympic Hero is here in ECW for one reason, and one reason only. He’s here for the WWF! Oh, it’s true! Your Olympic Hero is here, oh yeah! As they say on the streets...he’s “rep-re-senting”, oh it’s true! So Vince, if you’re watching, don’t worry about a thing. I’m going to win the tournament for the ECW Title and bring that worthless title back to you in the WWF! As of this minute, I, Kurt Angle, am starting a Pro-WWF campaign in ECW! DOWN WITH ECW! UP WITH THE WWF! W-W-F! W-W-F!

::Kurt prances around in a circle pointing to his short with the WWF logo on it. Dawn Marie gives him a cold stare and snatches her microphone back from him::

Joey Styles: Oh great...just what we need!

Chase Cassidy: What a guy! What a guy my Olympic Hero Kurt Angle is! Finally someone sees the light!

Joey Styles: Are you sure you’re supposed to be here? Maybe you took a wrong turn somewhere...I can hope...

::"Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors hits and out comes Super Crazy to a tremendous ovation! He poses for the fans, then goes to the ring slapping the hands of the fans on the way::

::"Scapegoat" by Fear Factory blares through the speakers and Jerry Lynn rushes out onto the stage. He holds his arms out to the sides of his body and lets out a scream. The fans cheer for him as he goes to the ring::

Joey Styles: I’ve just been informed that Cyrus has made this match...specifically for Rhino as you saw in the back earlier. The winner of this match gets a spot in the ECW Title Tournament!

Chase Cassidy: Wonderful business move by Cyrus I might add. Great job Cyrus, keep up the great work Commissioner!

Joey Styles: Would you stop kissing his ass!?

Chase Cassidy: I would never! I wouldn’t insult Cyrus like that! Joseph Styles, I’m ashamed of you!

Joey Styles: Oh lord...

::"Debonaire" by Dope fills the arena, as does smoke on the stage. Rhino comes out onto the stage immediately receiving boos from the audience. He snarls at them, then his himself a couple of times and raises his arms high in the air. Then he rushes to the ring::

::Super Crazy bounces off the top rope going for a moonsault on Rhino. Rhino catches him and quickly drives him to the mat with a powerslam. Jerry Lynn rushes at Rhino, only to be picked up and nailed with a vicious spinebuster! Lynn rolls to the outside and Rhino goes to work on Super Crazy. He lays in the boots to Super Crazy’s ribs. He whips Super Crazy across the ring and Crazy hits the turnbuckles hard. He stumbles out of the corner and Rhino levels him with a clothesline. Rhino goes for an elbow, but Crazy rolls out of the way. Rhino gets up and Crazy goes for a kick which is caught. Super Crazy kicks Rhino in the back of the head with an enziguri! Crazy quickly gets up and bounces off the ropes. He goes for a crossbody on Rhino, but Rhino catches him. He drops to his knees, dropping Super Crazy on his knee with a rib-breaker. 1...2...Super Crazy kicks out! Before Rhino can get up, Jerry Lynn is in the ring with a chair under his arm. He goes for an elbowdrop and drives the chair into the back of Rhino’s head! Rhino rolls over onto his back and Lynn puts the chair on his face. He goes to the top turnbuckle, and hits a huge flying elbowdrop onto the chair! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants break out. 1...2...Rhino manages to kick out!::

Joey Styles: I can’t believe Rhino kicked out after that elbowdrop!

Chase Cassidy: He’s the Man-Beast Styles, of course he’s going to kick out of that. He’s going to kick out of every other move that these two fools can throw at him too!

Joey Styles: We’ll have to see about that I guess.

::Jerry Lynn stands up and Super Crazy turns him inside out with flying headscissors. He drags Lynn over to the corner and starts his trifecta of moonsaults. First from the bottom turnbuckle, then from the middle, and finally a moonsault from the top turnbuckle! 1...2...Rhino pulls Crazy off of Lynn by the hair. He whips Super Crazy into the corner and goes for the gore, but Crazy jumps over him and rolls him up! 1...2...Rhino kicks out. As Rhino and Crazy battle it out, Lynn rolls to the outside and brings a table back in. Rhino whips Crazy into the ropes. Crazy nails his flying tornado ddt! 1...2...Rhino barely kicks out! Jerry Lynn picks up the chair that is in the ring and clocks Super Crazy with it. Rhino pulls himself to his feet and Lynn chucks the chair right into his face. Rhino falls through the ropes to the hard concrete floor. In the ring, Lynn bounces Crazy off the ropes. Crazy goes for the tornado ddt, but Lynn plants him on his feet on the mat. Lynn kicks him in the stomach. Out of nowhere, he lifts him up and drops him with the cradle piledriver! 1...2...3!::

Chase Cassidy: No! This can’t be! No! Rhino was on the outside! That wasn’t fair! Rhino should have won!

Joey Styles: Calm yourself Chase...here in ECW we have something called ELIMINATION.

Chase Cassidy: Oh...well...uh...I was just kidding...GO GET ‘EM RHINO!

::Lynn props the table up in the corner of the ring. Rhino slides back in and goes for the gore! Jerry Lynn moves out of the way just in time. Rhino is able to stop himself quick enough and doesn’t put himself through the table. He turns around and Jerry Lynn hooks him with a tornado ddt. Rhino counters and they spin past the table. Rhino then throws Lynn off of him. Lynn runs at Rhino and Rhino sends him into the corner. Rhino charges at Lynn, but Lynn boosts himself up using the top rope. He slides over Rhino’s back and rolls him up! 1...2...Rhino kicks out! They both get up and Rhino bounces off the ropes looking for a clothesline. Jerry Lynn ducks it and picks up the chair! Rhino turns around and CRACK! The chair gets wrapped around his head. Lynn pulls it off and Rhino falls to the mat. 1...2...Rhino barely kicks out yet again! Jerry Lynn waits in the corner for Rhino to get up. Once he does, Lynn runs at him and catches him with a bulldog going right for the table! Rhino picks Lynn up and throws him over the top rope to the floor!::

Joey Styles: OOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOD!! Did you see that!?

Chase Cassidy: What a move by the Man-Beast Rhino!

Joey Styles: Rhino just threw him halfway down the aisle!

::"E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants are heard as Rhino regroups in the ring waiting for Lynn to return. Once Lynn rolls back into the ring, Rhino is ready with a chair. He swings Lynn but misses. Lynn jumps up and drives the chair into Rhino’s face with a dropkick! Rhino doesn’t fall down though! Jerry Lynn makes the mistake of moving in front of the table still propped up in the corner. Rhino goes for the gore, but stops short. Jerry Lynn, anticipating the move, jumps in an attempt to avoid it, but Rhino had stopped already. Once Lynn’s feet hit the canvas again, Rhino gores his boots off right through the table! "E-C-DUB!" chants echo as Rhino makes the pinfall...1...2...3!::

::Backstage...Dawn Marie walks up to E.Z. Money...::

Dawn Marie: Excuse me! Excuse me! E.Z. Money?

E.Z. Money: The one and only!

Dawn Marie: Heehee...I like that!

::Dawn bounces up and down a little::

E.Z. Money: And I...like that...

::Money stares at Dawn’s...goods::

Dawn Marie: Oh, I’m supposed to interview you! What am I supposed to ask him again?

::Someone hands a clipboard to Dawn Marie::

Dawn Marie: Oh, after losing your match, what can we expect to see from you? That’s not a good way to start out your career here in ECW...

E.Z. Money: Don’t you worry your little head...the one the ladies are watching for will make sure they get their wishes. I’m already entered in the Television Title Tournament, and next week, that little comic book nerd Nova will get his.

Dawn Marie: Heehee, thanks for your time!

E.Z. Money: ...That’s what they all say...

::Dawn Marie giggles and bounces a little more as the camera cuts to Chase Cassidy and Joey Styles::

Joey Styles: Oh please...he thinks he’s something doesn’t he?

Chase Cassidy: Thinks? He knows! Not only is he a fantastic wrestler, he’s got the looks too...I mean...uh, he gets the ladies too!

Joey Styles: Yeah, those ladies down on third street.

Chase Cassidy: Who? Oh...hey...*whispers* Can you draw me a map to get there?

Joey Styles: No, but if you find it yourself, make sure you get Big Bertha.

Chase Cassidy: Why is that?

Joey Styles: You’ll see...you’ll see...our next match is between Raven and Vince’s Corporate Ass-Kisser, Kurt Angle!

::"Come Out and Play" by the Offspring hits and the fans go crazy! Raven comes out and does the sign of the Crucifix, then heads to the ring::

Joey Styles: This is the first match in the tournament to crown the ECW Champion!

Chase Cassidy: I think that they should just cancel this match...

Joey Styles: Why is that!?

Chase Cassidy: To spare Raven the humiliation of Kurt Angle beating him! DUH!

::"Medal" plays and out comes Kurt Angle, wearing a WWF t-shirt. He points to the WWF logo saying "Down with ECW" and "LONG LIVE WWF" on the way to the ring::

::Kurt Angle gets on the apron and faces the booing audience pointing to the shirt. Raven knees him in the back and knocks him off the apron! Kurt Angle gets to his feet and is furious, so he storms around ringside. The fans chant “E-C-DUB!” just to annoy him, and it works. Angle grabs a chair and threatens Raven from it from the outside. Raven just tells him to bring it on. Angle signals for Raven to come to the outside, and Raven hits a baseball slide knocking the chair right into Angle’s face! Angle clutches his face as Raven whips him into the guardrails. Raven runs at Angle, and Angle backdrops him right into the first row. Kurt Angle hops over the railing and the two start to brawl. They end up over by the entrance way. Angle whips Raven into a ladder propped up against the wall. He grabs Raven by the hair and continuously drives Raven’s head into the ladder. Angle starts to walk toward the stage. With a sudden burst of energy, Raven runs at Kurt Angle. Angle turns around and throws Raven right into the side of the stage with a belly to belly overhead suplex!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Did you see that!? Raven’s head bounced off the concrete!

Chase Cassidy: Serves him right...I told you...Raven shouldn’t have even shown up tonight. Now he’s just going to be humiliated by Mr. Pro-WWF, Kurt Angle.

Joey Styles: What a load of crap! Kurt Angle is just sucking up to Vince McMahon. I can’t even imagine Kurt Angle as the ECW Champion. That’d be horrible!

Chase Cassidy: I can imagine it, nice and clear too. It’d be the best day this god forsaken company ever had!

::Raven pulls himself to his feet and goes toward Angle. Angle tosses Raven with another belly to belly suplex sending him back over the guardrails, and into the aisle way. Angle goes for the Olympic Slam on the concrete, but Raven manages to escape. He swings at Angle, but Angle ducks. Angle runs Raven back first into the ring apron. Angle grabs Raven by the hair and throws him right into the side of the steel steps. He rolls Raven into the ring and makes the cover...1...2...Raven barely kicks out! Kurt Angle is not too pleased with that. He bounces Raven off the ropes and hits a belly to belly suplex. He pulls Raven right back up, whips him into the ropes, and does the same thing. Angle covers Raven...1...2...Raven manages to kick out again. Angle pulls Raven to his feet by his hair, lifts him up, and crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Kurt climbs up to the top and pulls Raven to his feet. He throws Raven halfway across the ring with another belly to belly suplex! Angle pulls Raven back up and hooks him from behind. He pulls Raven up and throws him over his head with a german suplex. Kurt Angle does this two more times consecutively. 1...2...NO! Raven still manages to get the shoulder up! Kurt Angle can’t believe it one bit. He yells at the referee then pulls Raven to his feet. He lifts him up on his shoulders and drops him to the mat with the Olympic Slam. He rolls over and makes the cover...::

Joey Styles: Oh no...it’s over...ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO! THREE! IT’S OVER! KURT ANGL–

Joey Styles: NO! NO! RAVEN KICKED OUT! RAVEN KICKED OUT!

Chase Cassidy: WHAT!? HOW THE HELL!? NO! CHEATER CHEATER PANTS ON FIRE!

Joey Styles: Kurt Angle can’t put Raven away! I can’t believe Raven kicked out! I can’t believe my eyes!

::Kurt Angle can’t believe that Raven kicked out of his finishing move, the Olympic Slam. He absolutely snaps and nails the referee with a clothesline. Angle rolls out of the ring, and brings a chair back in with him. Raven gets up on his knees, and CRACK! Angle nails him with a stiff chairshot! Raven doesn’t teeter though, so Angle hits him again with the chair! WHACK! Raven extends his arms in the sign of the Crucifix and Kurt Angle hits him with a final chairshot, busting him wide open. What’s this!? Tommy Dreamer runs out from the back! Angle swings at him with the chair, but Tommy ducks. He lifts Angle up on his shoulders and hits the Spicolli Driver! He slides out of the ring and goes to the back. Raven, Angle, and the referee get up about the same time. Raven opens the chair and sets it in the middle of the ring. Angle clubs him in the back of the head, then whips him toward the ropes. Raven reverses it, then nails a drop toe hold, Kurt Angle’s face driving into the seat of the chair! 1...2...Kurt Angle kicks out! Raven can’t believe it! They both get back up and start to exchange rights and lefts. Raven goes for the Evenflow, but Angle pushes him off into the ropes. He bounces back and goes for a clothesline, but Angle ducks. Angle goes for a suplex, but Raven blocks it. He kicks Angle in the gut and drives his face into the mat with the Evenflow ddt!! 1...2...3!!::

Chase Cassidy: NOOOOOOOO!

Joey Styles: He did it! Raven has done it! He beat Kurt Angle! Raven is the first wrestler to advance in the ECW Title Tournament!!

Chase Cassidy: NO! This can’t be true! Tommy Dreamer interfered! That’s not fair! Dreamer and Raven hate each other! What is wrong with Dreamer!?

Joey Styles: What a night! Join us on the next episode of ECW Hardcore TV where Super Crazy and Lance Storm will go at it, and Mikey Whipwreck and Tajiri compete in the Tag Team Tournament!!

::The screen begins to fade as a bloodied Raven gives the sign of the Crucifix and the fans chant "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!"...::

Next Episode!