I spent the day with James, but I felt something was missing. Then when I got home, I knew. I didn’t love him. He would always hold my hand and kiss my cheek, whispering he loved me. But I never said it back. I guess I wasn’t ready. Maybe I felt love, maybe I didn’t. I wouldn’t know, I have no idea what love feels like.
I will always love him as a friend, maybe a brother. But never as a boyfriend. That’s when I realized I had to end it. He was right a long term relationship won’t work, and the fact that I don’t love him doesn’t help either. I gave a great sigh and reached for the phone. I dialed his number almost in slow motion and I waited with my stomach in my throat.
“Hello?”
“James? Its me. I....we need to talk.”
“Oh. Well can we do it over the phone?”
“I guess. Listen....we....I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?” “James, I’m sorry.....it’s over.” My voice broke and I quickly hung up the phone.
I slowly sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. I don’t think I was upset about being boyfriendless, just that I may have just lost one of my best friends. I reached up for the phone then it rang and I froze. I let the machine get it and James’ voice floated into the room.
“Michelle....it’s me....please pick up the phone. I know you’re there. Please tell me what I did. I love you.” Then he hung up and I felt a tear make its way down my face.
I reached for the phone and dialed my best friend’s number. It rang twice when she picked up.
“Hello?”
“I broke up with him, Christina.” I blurted.
“What? What’d he do?” Christina asked.
“Nothing. I don’t love him.” I said.
“Are you okay?”
“Yea....maybe....no. I don’t know. I have to leave for London tomorrow, come on over let’s go do something.” I suggested.
“Clubbing?” Christina asked mischievously.
“You bet.”
About 15 minutes later she drove up in her lime green bug and honked the horn. I took one last glance in the mirror and ran out my front door, locking it as I went. I opened the door to the front seat and slid in, smiling at Christina.
“Well you’re in a good mood.” She commented. I nodded and reached for the radio as we drove to our favorite club.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now I’m on the damned airplane. Okay, okay it wouldn’t be ‘damned’ if I didn’t have such a hang over. I just got on and it’s like geez turn off the sun! So I’ve decided I’m going to sleep my hangover off so I can have jet lag in peace. The jet lag is inevitable. Trust me.
So after the annoying flight attendant came and asked what I wanted to drink, I cracked open an eye, glared, and snapped, ‘water.’ So I downed that then fell asleep.
Then felt myself being nudged gently awake. And I was in a better mood too. I had slept for about an hour or two, so I just layed there willing my headache to go away.
We landed and I grabbed my carry on bag and stretched my way to the gate. Then I did what Liv had asked me too, get my bag from the baggage claim and step outside. So I did just that and saw a black corvette with Liv in it. She quickly waved me over and I hopped in.
“Hey!” Liv said embracing me.
“Hey what’s up?” I asked.
“Well...the Fellowship of the Ring Premiere is in a week and a half and then we’re off for a while, minus a couple interviews and photo shoots.” Liv said putting on a pair of sunglasses.
“Hmmm. Well what do want to do first?”
I looked and her and said through my yawning, “Sleep.”
Liv laughed and drove for her house.
When we got there all I wanted was a place to sleep. It was dark and I thanked Liv silently. I saw something- no someone on the couch asleep, and Liv said, “Ah, Orlando’s still here. Don’t worry about him, he and a couple of the guys went clubbing last night and he still has a major headache.”
“Are you and he-“ I began slowly.
“No. I bumped into him last night and brought him here, much to his protest, but he crashed here anyway. No, we’re just friends. I think of him as a brother.” Liv said.
I nodded sleep catching up to me, yet again and Liv smiled. She led me to a good sized bedroom and said, “This is your new bedroom, bathroom attached, walk-in closet, and as for your precious Mountain Dew, there’s plenty in the fridge. I have to go but maybe you’ll be awake by the time I get back.” Liv winked and left.
I changed into a pair of plaid (pink & purple) boxer shorts and a purple tank top, then fell into bed.
Chapter Three
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Dreaming of You
