The Conspirators
|
Robert Q Billiard III-French Horn, Bagpipes, Sputum
|
tr> William was born in a small inconspicuous berg in the heart of Scotland, born to parents of moderate means (that’s right they ran a tavern). From the start, Mr. and Mrs. Billiard knew there was something different about the young lad…he wouldn’t take anything but the finest english tea in his bottle, and his first words were ‘pip,pip’ (words he still uses to this day). They were a bit concerned, and since the doctors could not find a reason for his strange behavior, his mother took him to the local psychic medium (every proper scottish berg has one). There it was discovered that young William was really the reincarnated form of Richard Cullhemringer, a british noble who sided with the scots during their revolution in the 14th century. This fact was received with some relief by his worried parents, who thought maybe that his problems originated with some sort of sexual frustration. The household gradually became used to William’s little quirks, like his tea drinking and his playing the bagpipes until 4 a.m.
William discovered that in addition to being an excellent bagpipe player, he had a knack for playing the french horn, and quickly added it to his growing musical repritoire. But his first hint at greatness came when playing in the highlands one day, he happened across a lonely pygmy elephant trapped in a small box canyon. Despite the fact that it was obviously rabid, william took pity on the poor thing, rescued it, and brought it home with him, where he begged with his parents to let him keep it…and thus the loving bond between William and his beloved rabid pygmy elephant Sloth was born.
When William moved to America to find a better life for him and Sloth, one of his first friends was a guy named Piss Donkey, who was crawling through a gutter in kansas city. Despite his strange name(and even stranger appearance) William was entranced by his musical talent, and the two formed the fledling musical group which would grow to become strangling the rodeo clown. |
|
|
Piss Donkey-Flugelhorn, Groupies
|
|
No one truly knows the origen of the man now called "Piss Donkey." Discovered in a Kansas City gutter by Robert Q Billiard, this flugelhorned hoodlum infests smalll rodents as they sleep in their cozy dens. he then proceeds to rip off their heads and construct ingenious finger puppets, which he sells for reasonable prices at local flea markets. a groupie favorite, piss donkey can quite often be found recieving a blumpie from young ladies with self-esteem issues
|
Commando X- Drums
|
| crack rocks. pitbulls. detox.
|
Swamprat Mutha-Cheesegrater, Pimpin' Jackmoves
|
swamprat mutha is a sad throwback to a bygone era. while his mad skilz waxin on the cheesegrater give him a place of honor in the STRC musical repetoire, the other members of the band "chill" with him out of sympathy. after a man scrumps enough lesbians, he needs a little friendship. | |
more yet...
|