Written by Czar Fruitcake
PROLOGUE
SUMMARY: Lorelai discovers the THWACK
Lorelai Gilmore sat down at her daughter’s computer. “Now,” she said sweetly, “Claude, I know that you and I have had our differences in the past, but if you don’t bite me or make those testy buzzy noises at me, then I promise not to spill anymore coffee on your keys or, I don’t know, make you listen to Barry Mantelow while I dance around naked.” Lorelai arched one eyebrow at the computer wickedly.
“Claude acting up again?” Rory asked, coming into the room. Lorelai stuck out her bottom lip as she looked at the computer.
“Yes,” she muttered. Rory came over, pressed a few buttons, and Claude the computer started making a much happier sound. Lorelai managed to open the internet, while coming dangerously close to breaking her no coffee spill-age promise.
Instead of opening to her usual homepage, Claude showed Lorelai something very… different.
“The Fruitcake Alliance?” Lorelai said out loud.
“They have an alliance?” Rory asked, her voice muffled as she tossed on her Chilton uniform.
“Apparently,” Lorelai said, picturing fruitcakes wearing little badges and making evil plans to fruitcake the world. She clicked on the enter key, and a moment later, she was elbow deep in the land of the THWACK.
When Lorelai snickered, Rory knew she was in trouble. “What are you laughing at?” she asked her mother. Lorelai put her hand over the screen.
“Nothing,” she said, smiling sweetly.
“Uh-huh,” Rory replied. “Sure.” She peered over her mother’s shoulder, and her mouth dropped open.
“Mom,” she said, pretending to shoot Lorelai a very disapproving look. “This is awful. Somebody just writes stories about people smacking each other?”
Loralei snickered. “This guy dumped his girlfriend twice in one weak. I’d say he deserves a THWACK or two.”
“THWACK?”
“I guess that’s sort of the sound it makes. I always thought it was more of a thunk, but hey, thwack is much more fun to say.” Lorelai grinned.
Rory couldn’t completely disagree, but she kept the censuring look on her face.
“Ohhhhhh,” Lorelai squealed. “Look. They have it for TV shows! And books!”
Rory rolled her eyes. “I’m going to school,” she said, leaning over to give her mom a hug. Lorelai, her eyes still plastered to the screen, mumbled a distracted goodbye.
This THWACKing thing looked like it could be fun.
TBC… up next, Lorelai brings the THWACK to Stars Hollow and the extended Gilmore Girl’s world… on my to THWACK list: Michel, Paris, Chris, Sherry, Kirk, Taylor, and Nicole… and many, many more. The THWACK has no mercy. Expect to see some parody and a lot of THWACKAGE.