Written by Czar Fruitcake
2nd DISCLAIMER: I am a Fruitcake
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I am part of the Fruitcake Alliance (twelve members strong and growing!) To join the Alliance and get our special benefits (numerous, let me tell you), email Fruitcake Headquarters at fruitcakeHQ@yahoo.com. You will begin receiving our newsletter, which you would love if you like THWACKing people.
SUMMARY: Phoebe gets hers again.
Piper was feeling quite satisfied with the way things were going. THWACK was such a satisfying sound, and there was only one thing she could think of that could possibly be construed as more satisfying than the sound it made when she THWACKed people who richly deserved it: the sound it made when she slapped Phoebe (whom she had stopped thinking of as a person and thought of rather as a pink wooly hat rack with relationship problems).
Piper walked upstairs to find Phoebe, who was emerged in a bubble bath in the middle of day. She was wearing glasses and a fuchsia wooly hat.
Piper picked up a light pink, fuzzy towel that was sitting next to the bath tub and handed it to Phoebe, ordering her out of the tub. Phoebe took the towel and wrapped it around herself. Piper carefully averted her eyes until Phoebe was sufficiently dressed (more so than usual), and then…
THWACK! “Why are you wearing glasses?” Piper asked as she continued smacking her little sister. “Where did the other wooly hat go, and why, for the love of happy things tell me why, you can’t decide whether or not you want bangs?!” THWACK THWACK.
“Well,” Phoebe explained, “I’m wearing glasses because they make me smarter, and now that I am an actual adult with a job in which people pay ME to give them advice, I need a more mature look.” THWACK!
A few superfluous suds floated off Phoebe’s head under the pressure of the thwackage. “And all of my light pink hats disappeared. I think Kit took them.”
THWACK! “Remember that time you chose to become the she-Source?” Piper asked.
Phoebe played with her glasses, putting the end in her mouth in concentration. “Vaguely.”
THWACK! “That was for having more of a backbone when you were evil than you do now, Miss Jelly-fish-wishy-washy-I-have-to-live-without-my-love-woe-is-me-coherence-escapes-me-upon-occasion-jonesing-for-some-demon-loving-easily-possessable-(who-am-I-to-talk)-whiny-hypointelligent desperado.”
OKAY… I took the cheap way out and slapped Phoebe again, but I was indecisive because there haven’t been a lot of specific review requests, so NOW it’s your turn to do YOUR job and tell ME who YOU want smacked.