This page is all about my History Theory, essentially my history theory states that all of recorded history is total bullshit. Instead of just writing History is Bullshit in a large, bolded, brightly colored font I have decided to write a rather long explanation detailing why history is bullshit. Since the largest contributor to history is war all of the examples given bleow are based on a war scenario. If you are at all interested in history or hate history with a fiery all consuming passion please read on.
Someone once said that history is written by te victor, this person was fairly close to the truth. History is actually written by the winning General's secretary Susan. Susan (yes she is always named Susan), not only knows absolutely nothing about warfare but didn't even witness any of the battles. Susan instead learned about the battles from the General's ego inflated self righteous stories about the glory of war.
After Susan receives this tainted information she writes it all up and tries to make it sound heroic. Some people will say that the history written a long time ago isn't accurate for these reasons but today it is impossible to keep secrets like that because of the total press coverage we have. The truth is that the media only shows about 5% of the footage that they record, which makes it unreliable at best. Whats worse is that the government has the power to censor anything that they consider harmful information. If you put these two facts together you realize that the 5% of information we are receiving might not even be the important information.
During something as public as a war there will undoubtedly be witnesses that can say what truly happened, for example there will be soldiers and anyone near by. The truth is that soldiers are way to busy killing and being killed to watch the battle on whole. And as for people near the battle field, what kind of an idiot would just stand around while there are bullets flying around and explosions everywhere. There will still be a few people to witness the battle on whole but they will be influenced by the media to believe that they are wrong. Even if they dont get influenced if their story isn't as good then they won't get any air time to set people straight. These are the reasons that history is bullshit and always remember, there are two sides to every story but unfortunately they're both wrong.