My doctor said we could not induce a breech baby; it was too dangerous for both of us, and I agreed. He did not want me to go through a c-section if I didn’t have to, so he suggested waiting until she turned again. He was confident that she would turn. He said to come in Monday and he’d check her everyday, and as soon as she was head down, he’d induce that minute. We were so upset and disappointed, but we went ahead and left the hospital without our baby and went home, where we spent the weekend in constant worry and prayer.

Monday came eventually and we dropped Olivia off at my mom’s and went into the doctor’s office. All the nurses were asking if she had turned. I knew she’d been moving a lot but I wasn’t sure what position she was in. My doctor came in to check me. He felt my belly and said he thought he felt a head down low. He checked and announced I was 3 cm and the baby was again head down. We were so relieved! He jokingly asked if I wanted to wait until the next day because it was his birthday, but I said no way. He called labor and delivery and told them I was on my way. He told us to get down there and have the nurse call when she got my IV in.

We rushed over to the labor and delivery department. As soon as I was set up in bed with my IV, I had Jimmy run home for my bags (I had refused to bring my bags to the hospital with me, knowing if I did that they’d just send me home again). Jimmy also made phone calls and emails while he was at home. Meanwhile, my doctor arrived and broke my water. It was meconium stained, so the nurse put a catheter in to flush the fluid with warm water. The doctor also put a scalp monitor on the baby, so I got to take off those annoying belt monitors. As my doctor left, he tried to convince the nurses that I didn’t want the epidural and no matter how much I begged, to not give it to me. What a sense of humor.

Jimmy came back and we settled in to wait. It wasn’t long before I started to feel some pain. At around 11:15 a.m., I decide it was time for some Nubain. That worked pretty well and although I could still feel pain, it took the edge off of the contractions. The nurse ordered my epidural. I was really nervous about it, because I hadn’t had one before, and I’d heard that it would hurt, and I was really nervous about a huge needle going into my back. But I have to say that it was not as bad as I feared. At 11:45 the anesthesiologist came in and the nurse told Jimmy he’d need to leave for a while. No problem there, Jimmy was not going to watch that. She told Jimmy to take about 30 minutes, go get something to eat. So he left. My nurse, Gail, was very nice. She had me sit up on the side of the bed and bend over a pillow, curling over my tummy. She held onto me while I clung to her with my head buried in her chest. The anesthesiologist cleaned my back and gave me a shot to numb the area. He explained everything while he was doing it. The shot did hurt, it stung and burned. Then he put the epidural in. I felt a lot of pressure. He threaded a long thin catheter into my back and pulled the needle out. He put something in it that made my back cramp a bit. Then he taped the tube to my back and up over my shoulder. It was attached to a pump that would give me a constant amount of medicine. And that was it. After about 15 minutes, I felt no pain. The anesthesiologist actually told me I’d just had a contraction, and asked how it felt. It was great.

So I settled back comfortably. Jimmy came back and we realized the drawback of an epidural. It is very very boring. We hadn’t brought anything to read or do, and there was nothing on t.v. At 12:30 I was checked again and I was at 5 cm. At 2:30 I was at 6-7 cm. At 3:30 I was at 7-8 cm ad the baby was really high. My nurse had me sit up straight with my legs crossed indian style to open my pelvis, thinking that this would help the baby descend. I stayed that way for an hour. At 4:30 p.m., my doctor came in. He said if I layed flat on my back, it would allow the baby a straight shot through the birth canal. He also checked me and said I was at 8-9 cm. The amniotic fluid was almost clear by then. He said he thought I’d be another hour or so before I’d be ready to push, and debated over whether to try to make his son’s soccer game a half hour away. We told him to go ahead and go, and he told my nurse to page him as soon as I was complete, even if the baby was still high. About 5 minutes after he left, I began to feel pressure in my bottom. My nurse had gone with her other patient who was already pushing, so I had a different nurse. I told her what I was feeling. Since I’d just been checked 5 minutes ago, she just upped my epidural a little. I tried to relax and wait for the medicine to kick in, but the pressure was getting worse, not better, and I was feeling a burning with every contraction. I realized the baby was coming and began to panic. The nurse didn’t seem to believe me, and I begged her to check me again. She told me I still had cervix all the way around. She had me lay on my side. I clung to the bedrail and began to yell. Jimmy was trying to calm me down but I was losing it. I was surprised at my reaction because with Olivia’s birth I was so calm and pushed with no real pain, but this time I could really feel the pressure and burning. I felt my body starting to push. I heard the nurse in the background calling someone on the phone and asking them to come help her deliver. Then my nurse, Gail, came in and traded places with her. Jimmy asked me if I wanted my mom and I said yes. She was supposed to bring Olivia up to be there for the birth. I remember telling Jimmy I didn’t want Olivia in there for the birth after all. I knew that the way I was acting would scare her.

Everything was pretty much a blur after that. I remember rolling onto my back and grabbing each bedrail as I struggled not to push. Nurses were rushing around setting up for the delivery. I saw my doctor come running in covered in sweat and I yelled that I was sorry he wasn’t going to make his son’s game. Then they were having me push. I held my breath, bore down and pushed with all my might. It hurt so badly, I could feel the burning as she crowned. After about three pushes, I felt her head pop out. Suddenly my doctor was yelling, “Wait, baby, stop pushing,” and I yelled that I was trying. I saw Jimmy look away from the baby and at my face. Later he told me that the cord had been wrapped around the baby’s neck, and the doctor was trying to pull it off. Then I felt her body coming out. I yelled for them to pull her out, and suddenly she was out and on my tummy. I saw this little foot in the air and I said, “oh, she’s so tiny!” The cord was wrapped around her foot also. I said, “It is a girl, right?” The nurse pulled apart her legs and said, “Yep, there she is.” My doctor finished suctioning her and I got to hold her. She was so beautiful. She had black hair all over her head, but less than Olivia had. It was now 5:06 p.m.

Her nurse took her to warm her. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 12 ounces. She was 20 inches long. Her apgars were 9 and 9. While she was taken care of in the baby section of our room, my doctor repaired me. I found out I only had a second-degree episiotomy, much better than the fourth degree tear last time. As he was taking care of me, Jimmy ran out into the hall, remembering that my mom and Olivia were on their way. He met them in the hall as they got off the elevator. My mom and Olivia rushed in. They saw the baby and of course my mom started crying. Olivia looked a little confused, but not upset. After Nadia was cleaned up, they let me hold her again. She was all bundled up with a little pink cap on her head. She was sucking on her fingers as she looked all around with her dark eyes. She is so precious.


How it all began: pregnancy journal


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