Moronic History


HLM, chillin'
This fic has a lot of language that may not be suitable for younger audiences, reading discretion is advised

So much has happened since I got to the lair.  I got there so long ago, mere months after my mother died in an earthquake in Tokyo.  That happened, what, 3...4...years ago now? Had to be in '98 anyway.  I was probably running from some gang or another, and ended up in the sewers.  I hadn't thought at the time that this strange place with all these mutants, just like me, would have such a huge affect on my life.

At any rate, '98 was spent just kinda settling into my apartment and job topside and making friends bottomside.  I also met my hubby, Hacker, who I married May 7th '99.  Klork became like a bro to me, Shingami like a sister, and tons of friends...Brent, TN, Kameko, the guys, Emer...many more.

In 2000, I had to leave the lair for a while to take care of some business...when I came back, I found that the whole weird hell situation thing got worse.  I'm not even gonna go into it 'cause it's so blasted confusing.  Really, ya don't wanna know, lotsa the stuff I don't know about either. 

Anyway, I met up with the X-Men (a team of super-heroes, not a buncha transvestites, ya crackheads) and found out quite a bit about my genetic background.  That's a whole 'nother story that should prob'ly be told.  Now that I think 'bout in, though, I think someone already did here.

Anyhoo...found out 'bout a few of my blood parents.  Wolvie 'n Remy're two of my dads, and PG (Phoenix Gal, Psy Goddess, she goes by many names) is one of my moms.  An' y'know I have lotsa siblings too!  Jean Grey is one, Melana is another sister, Devon a brother, bunch more I can't think of or don't know.  I'm the grand-daughter of Ares, Greek good o' war, too, since he's PG's dad.  Impressive, eh?  Guess we all know where I get my temper from now.  Sad part is I'm not that close to any of my blood relations.  I'm closer to Klork and Shing, to be honest.

Lessee...I think it was in 2000 or early 2001...this Malaki chick took over PG and was messing with her powers or somethin' so I got her powers for a while.  Was weird as snake-boots, but kinda helped me prepare fer some of the changes I was gonna end up goin' through.  Well, once PG got her powers back, Malaki took her over and tried killing me by boiling my blood in my veins.  I guess I did die...kinda...sorta...but no one really knows.  See, when this happened, I didn't explode or whatever's expected of someone whose blood is boiling.  Instead, this funky cocoon thingie formed over my body...like a shell...think someone said I looked like some kind of life-sized china doll.

Well, I got taken back to the mansion to be cared for, examined and stuff.  When I woke up, though, I wasn't in the mansion.  Mr. Sinister had somehow gotten ahold of me.  I find myself glad I don't remember a lot of what went on.  I do remember the beatings...experiments...a little of the mind control...still don't really like talkin' about it...well...Hacker and the X-Men saved me, and eventually, I returned to the lair.

Found out Mike was still wheel-chair bound, and Don had some problems with split personalities.  Seriously, the boy needs mad meds.  Gyah...anyway, there was this one time when he was hurt or something, just in really bad shape, and being the kind-hearted moron I am, I gave him my healing factor for a while, in essence leaving myself more vulnerable to injury and sickness.

'Course, things couldn't be easy, hell no!  Why would they be?  It couldn't be the regular Don I healed, but the evil one himself.  Bastard deserves an Emmy for the act he put up.  He ended up blasting the lair to pieces around our ears.  All because I was dumb enough to try helpin' a friend.  The jerk.

Well Raph (who has Emer's powers, who's a Shaper/Deryni/Banshee/Sporkitsu Master thingie) ended up shaping most of us to the Farm House.  I ended up hurt 'n sick or somethin', I can't really remember 'cause everything got so jumbled back then.  Of course, I ended up getting my healing factor back after a while, but I kinda lost it.  Got a screw loose...became a few fries short of a happy meal. Y'know, went crazy.

Ended up killin' one of my coworkers at the bar I used to work at, lost my job, went to court, pled innocent by reason of insanity and won.  I was released into Proff. Xavier's custody and had to leave the lair for a while again.  I got myself straitened out at Muir Island with the help of Chuck (Proff X), Dr. MacTaggart, Wolvie and my hubbie when he could make it over.

Once my head was screwed on strait again, I went back to the lair.  Found out pretty much everyone was lost in space and fighting aliens or whatnot, so there was a lil' peace in the lair for once.  Klork and I actually had the chance to catch up and goof off  for once.

During one of those nights, a hurricane popped up outa nowhere, right outside the door.  Talk about strange, storm dropped a red-headed chick (there's now life five or six of 'em who frequent the lair; they're takin' over, man!" decked out in full armor, waving this NICE sword around.  Heh, yeah, that's Diana, our resident reality jumper with the talkin' sword.  Yeah, just what we need, another one who hears the voices.  Gads.

Wull, perty much the net day, we're sparrin' and I get thrown out of the workout room, right into Vinnie (y'know the white Biker Mouse with the inflated ego).  Those two met, and strangely enough, hit it off.  Who'd' a thunk.

Anyhoo, the two of 'em went out, Diana got shot an' Hacker 'n I got to help Vinnie out at the hospital.  Fun fun fun.  Diana ended up with a broken shoulder blade, and was later poisoned by some FOH freak posing as a doc.  She came home, and, of course, got worse before she got better.  At one paint, she was so far gone, she forgot where she was and came way too close to takin' my head off with that sword of hers.  Klork and Kame's mom, Thera, showed up and gave Diana some medicine to help her counter the poison.

Once things got calmed down, and Diana was more or less passed out on the couch, Klork brought his son, Seijin, down for a visit.  That squirt's such a cutie; he could cheer up Scrooge on a bad hair day.  I gotta admit, even though I knew the chick was delirious, it hurt to be called a demon by someone ya consider a friend.  Seijin, Thera and Klork helped cheer me up there.

Was pretty quiet fer a while, 'sides a skirmish with the FOH in which Vinnie and I got to take a few dips in one of the ponds in Central Park.  Got ta drag the manly mouse out one time 'cause he got knocked out. Never knew a mouse could be so damn heavy.  Oy.

There were also a few battles with Solaris, the losers after Dolphy.  The jerks are annoying, and pretty dangerous, but man, those tanks are perty when they blow up.  Fire and sharp objects flying through the air, what more can a girl ask for?

Well, after those battles, and more or less right after Diana got better, HFM lost it.  Seems to be a habit of his, going nuts.  I vaguely remember him trying to kill me and rip my wings out shortly after I got 'em.  He seems fine one minute, then KERBLAM! Psycho city.  Anyway, this time, he grew tentacles and drained Diana of her energy and strangling her with his tentacles.  'Course, I didn't want her dying, so I had to try defending her.  Well, she lived and he shoved one of those tentacles down my throat and shot my stomach full of poison.  I got in my two cents, too, though.  I chomped on down, sank my fangs into that tentacle and gave him a bit of my own poison to deal with.

Wasn't sure if it'd work or not, both of us being government experiments and all, but I guess it had some affect on him.  I sure as hell know his hurt me pretty bad.  I'd honestly thought I could handle it.  Boy was I wrong.  Ended up very sick, and evenutally in a coma 'cause of it.  That really just sucked the big one.  I vaguely remember impressions of Hacker, Klork, Kame, Echartea, Beast and a few others helping through the whole thing.  To state the obvious, I made it through alright.  The recovery took a little while, but y'know...shit happens.

Lessee...I get back to the lair, and lo and behold, I have a son (and a mother who wiped all memory of us from her mind...)!  Yeah...surprised me, too...'specially considering I couldn't have kids then.  Turns out Damien (my other me had great taste in names) is from the future of an alternate time-line.  He came here to protect me from his biological father, who's a wackjob and a half.  This guy wanted to kill me so I wouldn't have Damien.  The wierdness never stops.

During all this, Klork is having problems with this Nadia woman.  This dog-chick has a vendetta against the entirety of Klork's family and has been giving him problems since before I met him.

Anyway, she'd put some kind of energy draining spell on Nissa, Klork's daughter from a future alternate time-line.  I thought I had it confusing with one son, he's got a son and two daughters!  What can I say?  Life ain't simple.

I headed on to Nissa's place with Klork to see if there was anything I could do to help.  Turns out Nadia had some kinda portal open to Nissa and was draining her through it.  Only reason I could see it was 'cause of my energy sight.  I expanded the portal so Klork and I could get through. 

Nadia was sawin' logs when we got there, and so was her friend, Xuan, I think his name was.  Well, they woke up and the fight was on.  Klork battled Nadia, while I took Xuan on.  Turns out her "friend" was under her spell.  Once I had him pinned, I broke her hold on him, and then tried to break the lock she had on Nissa.  'Course, she fought me.  If she wasn't weakened by the backlash caused when her hold on Xuan was destroyed and distracted by my bro, I doubt I would have been able to beat her that time around. 

After that, she ran like the coward she is.  Nissa, not to mention her poor fiancée, Shitako, were both able to get some real rest at last.  Klork and I were both bruised, battered and tired from the battle, plus I had a magic-hangover from hell, so we decided to call it a night.  That war, however, was far from over.

Shortly after returning from that, Hacker and I ran into a guy from the days when Wolvie, PG and my hubbie were running with the Weapon X project when we were having dinner in a fast food joint.  The guy's name was Wade, better known as Deadpool.  He made a general pain of himself, y'know...flirting with me and teasing Hacker, 'fore finally gettin' to his point, which was telling us Weapon X was starting up again and they were trying ta get the old team back together.  Guess what Hacker's answer was. 

Yep, ya got it, a big fat "no."  Ol' Wade knew his higher ups wouldn't like that, and gave us a heads up that Sabertooth, a guy who doesn't know what the word "nailfile" means, is gonna be trying to "persuade" Hacker into rejoining.  Now, see, I'm usually up for a good fight every once in a while, but not when those I love are placed in danger. M'love had a transporter with him (naturally! He's the King of Gadgetry), and we took a quick trip to Pyre, his and PG's old HQ from when they worked for Bruce...uh...whatshisface...Reznor, or something along those lines.  After disposing of the tracker Deadfool planted on me when he'd put his arm around my shoulders, we cleaned up the place a lil' and Hacker took a nap. (He's just so damn cute when he's sleepin'!)  We were just settling into the bath together when the alarms went off.  So much for bath time fun.  Barely into our cloths, Sabie burst into the room on us. I was just about to block the kitty's first move when Hacker teleported us both to California for a short while.  I finally managed to get ahold of Logan at the lair, after a few calls, and we met him in New Jersey, where he, oddly enough, had a cabin.  Those couple of days with just my dad and hubbie were actually perty nice.   It was a great lil' vacation, even if we were running from the government at the time.  After a while, it seemed safe enough to return to NYC, so (duh) we did.

The very day we got back, I found out that Damien had proposed to his girlfriend, Rica, and they were expecting a baby! Heh...already gonna be a grandma without having any kids of my own.  Amazing the curveballs life throws at ya.

I knew it was hard enough for Hacker to deal with Damien's presence and my inability to have kids, so I was worried about how he'd take this news.  It sure as hell was tearing me up inside.  I didn't get to tell him before the next big thing happened, though.

Klork and I had spoken on the phone a little after Rica and Damien shared the news with us (Nephrite was there, too), and he said he'd come down to the lair to do something with my work schedule (I work part time at the pizzeria chain he owns) that night. 

He didn't show, but I figured he was tired and decided to head home instead. 

After a few days passed, and still no Klork, I started to get worried.  I tried all the numbers we had to get ahold of him, but nadda was all I found.  Frustrated and pissed, I was about to go looking with a few others, when I just about ran into Nissa. She had a notebook and that "Yay! I'm under the control of a demented dog-woman who needs to be shot before she can run away and hide!" look to her.  You know the look, glazed eyes, no emotion...that one.  She passed the notebook around, and we each got to read a lil' part of the love letter from Nadia.  Basically, it said that she had him and was going to kill him if we didn't go to the little party in Harlem she had set up.

Raph, Emer, Neph, Damien, Rica and I went to the shindig, while Diana and Vinnie stayed behind to watch over the now passed out Nissa.

Nadia sure knows how to choose a place for a party.  The map she included in her love letter led us to an old warehouse.  She was kind enough to greet us and tell us that if we didn't find him in one minute that he was going to bleed to death. She put some kinda shield up 'round the building ta take most of our powers away, too. Sweet of her.

Wull...we went searching, and a lil' bit into the search, I overheard the lil' telepathic conversation Emer and Klork had, heard something about wind, put two and two together, an' dashed ta the roof, Raph hot on my heals, and there was Klork, tied to a stake, bleeding horribly. I was so friggin' scared fer him and pissed at Nadia; I dove at the bitch, an' 'course she disappeared. She reappeared holdin' a knife to my bro's throat and started threatening me with his death.

While she was doing this, though, Raph shaped up behind her and bashed her in the back of her head with the butt of his sai. Raph has always been my fave turtle.

While the rest of us were trying to fight Nadia (damn bitch kept disappearing on us!), Raph healed Klork up. Eventually, dogface disappeared for the night. We got back to the lair, an' took care of Klork. Poor guy was so pale...short on blood...Raph couldn't give him any 'till he was passed out in my arms. I spent the night on the couch with him, worried sick that something was missed and I'd lose him. He did wake up in the morning, thank the gods.

There was relative peace for a while. During this time, somehow, Damien and Rica found out she's pregnant with twins. Gyah, holidays're gonna get real expensive...

Then, I learned PG was missing. I went topside ta search...but found nothing. I contacted Hacker with my mind to see if he knew anything. He said he didn't...but...well...never mind that...

We decided to get some lunch, since he was due for a break anyway. Damien and Rica apparently had the same idea. Hacker was hiding something about Weapon X from me. I decided to drop it for then when the two of them came over to join us. One of use made a comment about how Rica was eating for three, and Hacker got this shocked look on his face. I expected that, but I didn't think he'd stalk off like he did...felt like my heart was about to shatter...I don't know...ever since Damien showed up, we've both been on edge...feels like that night cued the beginning of my life falling to pieces..

I tried talking to Hacker a few more times before the night Paul got me.

I was on night patrol of the city when I spotted Damien and Rica walking down the street. I thought I'd seen Diana for a moment, but I was either just seeing things or she decided to disappear for some reason or another. The three of us were walkin' down the street, chatting with each other, when Paul decided to appear in our path. I knew he had to have something in mind, and if it was capturing either Rica or Damien, there was no way in hell I was gonna let that happen.

That's when I made my first big mistake. I underestimated his power and leapt for him. I didn't even get the chance to lay one claw on him.

Somehow, he managed to freeze me in mid-air. Rica started screaming at him to put me down, but, again, everything started getting fuzzy. I knew in the corner of my mind that Damien and Nadia were fighting, but the agony was rushing through my body like molten lava. It seemed to go on forever, the sensation moving between millions upon millions of fire worms twisting, writhing in my blood stream and my entire body lighting afire. He finally stopped that with a massive energy drain, like my very being got sucked out of my body. The paralysis of agony was gone; only to be replaced with that of exhaustion.

I barely had the strength to lift my head and open my eyes to look at Rica when she touched my shoulder.

Everything was different. The world had turned dark. There weren't the energy auras around everything or the lines of power running to and from the Earth to light my way around the world. I didn't know exactly what he did to me, save for taking away my powers. I did know, however, that he wanted Rica and the children she was carrying. I told her to get away from there with Damien. Somewhere during this time, Diana showed up again, and had managed to scare Nadia into leaving. I guess Paul decided to follow suite. When he tried to take Rica with us, Damien broke the spell he was using on her. I wasn't that lucky.

We reappeared in some basement, Paul and I; he wasted no time in starting the torture.

The bastard's not human, mutant or really anything else I can think of, short of a demon.

He started beating me with his feet and some kind of pipe. When I didn't have the strength to fight anymore, he started cutting me. Gods, I didn't think the pain would stop. Every time I waas about to pass out, he made sure I woke up again. He put some kind of chemical, a liquid, into the cuts; it felt like acid was roaring through my veins. I think I went into a seisure or something, because when I came to, he was raping me. I kept wishing he'd just kill me and get it over with.

He...he got me pregnant, sped up the pregnancy somehow, and aborted the baby. I dunno how he did it, but he somehow sped up my cycle enough that he impregnated me two or three more times, and did the same thing each time. Over the next two days, he kept beating, raping and torturing me. A part of my mind, pushed beyond the pain long ago, noticed that he got stronger and stronger with the more pain he put me through.

By the third day, I was so weak I could barely lift my head. I was bolted by my hands and wings to the wall, a pool of blood and two or three bodies of murdered fetuses on the floor beneath me. The bastard was in the middle of accelerating this last pregnancy (feels like...like...you can feel the baby growing in you...crying because it knows it's happening too fast and it knows it's going to die...I could feel my insides being pushed out of the way...man...where was I...oh yeah, middle of a sentence), when Nadia showed up with Nissa. Poor Nissa was still hypnotized, but for once, I was glad to see old dogface, I was finally getting a break.

Anyway, Nadia and Paul started arguing. Most of the time, I just hung there, head bowed, though I earned a backhand from Paul for some smart-ass comment I was actually coherent enough to make.

Partway through the argument, I guess Nadia sensed the presence of others. It wasn't long after that when Kame and Angelo stepped out of the shadows. Once they talked a little, electricity bolted out of nowhere and the fight began. The fight itself I don't know much about. Raph slowly worked the bolts in my hands and wings free as gently as he could. I tried holding on, really I did, but I kept slipping in and out of consiousness. I remember only a few things after he got me off that wall...telling him I didn't know what was going on during the time it felt like Paul was trying to kill me again with his power...knowing something was horribly wrong with Kame and Angelo. Last thing I saw was the two of them, Kame grabbing at Angelo's cloths...I must have passed out then..

I was in the medlab of the X-Mansion with IVs in my arms, Beast hovering over me and slathered in bandages when I came to. He'd just told me that the latest baby I was carrying was dying when Klork and Damien showed up.

Everything just sort of hit me then. It was over. I just couldn't stop crying.

When Klork came over, I did my best to pull myself together enough to talk with him. Found out that Nadia was killed, but Kame lost her baby and that Paul got Rica. I couldn't believe it, felt so bad for Kame, so scared for Rica and her babies. All this time, I could feel my own dying within me.

Hearing Beast confirm it brought the tears back. When Klork hugged me, I just completely broke down. I dunno how long we were like that...him holding me as I cried into his chest...after the tears finally tapered off we spoke for a little while until we heard Damien yell. Klork went to check it out, and I figured I'd try to get some sleep.

I did get some, too, I guess. I woke up when my enitre midsection convusled. Curling on my side against the pain, I called to Klork. He and Beast came running in. Beast delivered that last dead child while Klork held my hands, helping me through it. I saw Diana come in a little while afterwards, and forced myself to eat a lil' soup Klork brought me, figuring I needed something in my belly before more or less passing out again.

Diana was finally able to get ahold of Hacker the next day because he came to see and spend the night with me. There wasn't much conversation; he just held me. Wish we could have seen each other in more peaceful times more often. I was sad to see him go to work...

Almost the first day I returned to the lair, hell attacked. A buncha demons were chasing after Terror for some reason.

Of course, being hurt, and not exactly in the best of mental shape, I guess I looked like a good victim. This one demon, Fuko or something, went right for me. I grabbed a bo to try defending myself. Did a perty crappy job since my hands hurt like hell whenever I grip anything too hard. That nasty demon got in a bite on my neck and sliced up my forearms pretty bad. Hands also slit back open and I tore a bunch of stiches when I fell back. Man, the entire lair was just a huge battleground.

If Klork hadn't shown up to save me (gads...again...) I don't wanna know what would have happened. He took me to the X-Mansion (yeah, yet again) where Beast stitched me up, and I had a chance to replenish my blood a little (I ended up loosing a lot). I wasn't stuck staying in that damned med-lab, though. Wolvie was nice enough to bring me to my room, where Klork and I crashed for the night. (Yeah, we were in the same room, but we got a futon set up on the floor for Klork. Get yer minds outa the gutter, ya hentais!)

The next few days actually more or less passed without event, I guess. I worked the phones at Richardo's, and we all worried about Kameko, who had turned up missing... Unfortunately, the relative peace was not meant to last. I went down to the lair one day after work, exhausted as all hell, just wondering who-all was there, to find a man I'd never seen before looking for me.

Turns out he was a friend of Hacker's and I guess another brother (I think I overheard him call PG mom, anyway). He introduced himself as Neo and gave me the bad news. Turns out my husband had been shot to death a few days earlier, maybe even the day Hell attacked the lair.

I really didn't know how to take it. I didn't know if I could take it. PG was there for me, as was Don, TN and Jae, and I know they did their best, but that empty feeling in the deapths of my heart just wouldn't go away. I don't even remember how I got back to the mansion that night. I just know that I didn't sleep, I just lay there and cried, staring at the ceiling, missing Hacker and wondering what else was going to happen.

The next day, I was in the lair, just kind of existing, staring into my glass of water, wondering what to do with myself, not even really noticing what was going on around me. I'm afraid I kind of ruined the good moods of others, I really didn't mean to. I know I did with Damien and Rica's. Even though I was (and still am) very happy for them, it really hurt to see them, as it did to see any couple. My bro showed up a little later, and we talked for a while about why these past few months have been so horrible. We eventually planned a road trip out west, just him, Seijin, me and anyone else who decided to tag along.

It turned out being just the three of us, which was alright with me.

That's where I am now, on the road with my bro and his son. We'd found Kame the first day we got to San Fran, and Klork saved her frown drowning herself. (She was really depressed from Nadia making her lose that baby.) We'd persuaded her into talking to ANgelo, and I guess he talked her into going home. We spent some time there before starting up north. Our timing really sucked at our next stop. We ended up running into one FOH sleezeball, taking care of him (Seijin slept through the whole thing amazingly. His dad's carrier thing must be real comfy), and then almost ran into a whole rally of 'em. Gah...here's hopin' our luck improves and we don't get stuck having to deal with more of 'em. Ah well...that's really about it for now...maybe I'll add more later.


Entry Two
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