Title: Shades of Gray - - Dark Gray
Author: Granitite Stone, granitite@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I be writing fanfiction? There is no malicious intent in this story, I know nothing about these men's real lives.
Rating: R
Summary: When one moment changes everything, and one decision can change a lifetime, you make the best choices you can. The question is, what choice is the right one? Even if you think you've made it, what's not to say you wouldn't have been happier the other way?

"Yes, yes to what?" Kevin could only imagine what could shock Nick that much.

"It's not important." Nick quickly picked up the shards.

"How do you know?" AJ asked. "He thinks it might be."

"All you need to know is I never married Leighanne." Brian decided to cover for Nick. Obviously he'd never told them. "I don’t think I'll have a problem tomorrow night, but your Brian is in a heap of trouble."

"Why?" Howie managed to sit up.

"I got permission for us to sing No Place I'd Rather Be at tomorrow night's concert. There's no way he's going to be able to sing it."

"Why not? He's got an entire day. Is the choreography that hard?" Howie had noticed the ring on his right hand, and wondered about it.

"It's not that." Brian sighed. "Nick and I share the lead, like a duet. If you aren't in rhythm, it sounds horrible. And Nick's probably too upset right now to go through with it."

"If it's not a wedding ring, what is it?" It looked like part of a music score, but Howie didn't recognize it.

"It's.." Brian closed his eyes. "It's a promise ring. The notes are from No Place."

"Promise to who?" Now AJ was interested.

"Leave him alone." Kevin already suspected, and they didn't need this right now.

Brian changed the subject. "Okay, I'm here, and you all believe me. Now what?"

"Management says Joey will know." Kevin handed him a phone number.
---
He wasn't used to sleeping alone, and his tossing and turning was keeping Kevin awake. So, Brian hoped tonight was an insomnia night for AJ, because he had a feeling Howie would be comatose, and Nick was way too skittish at the moment. Brian had spent the day trying to track down Joey, with little sucess. Lance was somewhere in Mississippi, JC and Chris weren't answering their phones, and Justin kept hanging up on him.

All he'd done was intimidate Nick by his very existence, and avoid AJ's probing questions. Why was he going there again? Oh yeah, no one else would let him in. The light was on, and Brian knocked.

"Brian, you are a glutton for punishment." AJ let him in. "I'm not going to stop bugging you until you give in."

"You're the only one who'll let me in." They'd put AJ on an antidepressant, and the day he took the weekly pill, he didn't sleep well, and was good for long meaningful talks. At least that's how it worked where Brian came from. "Can we just drop this?"

"No." AJ grinned. "Come on, Bri, who do you belong to? Leigh is really upset. They weren't doing so well before this, and her finding out there could have been another woman isn't helping."

Brian couldn't take this anymore. "There is no other woman, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

AJ stared. "You? You're the normal one. I can't see you with some guy."

Brian spoke barely above a whisper. "He's not just some guy."

Suddenly, it all clicked in AJ's mind. "How long have you and Nick been together?"

"Almost four years." His head shot up. "How did you figure it out?"

"Our Brian doesn't wear Gravity. You smell like Nick, and that thing where he dropped the mug was a big hint." AJ passed him a soda. "Now the two of you, that I can see. Before you got married, it's like you were one person most of the time anyway."

"One soul, two bodies." Brian looked miserable. "It's a line from No Place. I can't even sleep without him after so long, AJ. What if I'm stuck here?"

"I dunno, Bri. Nick figured it out somehow, right? That's why you dropped the mug. What did you mean, you said yes?"

"It was his idea. What he wanted for Christmas. This," Brian held up his right hand, "This was our first anniversary."

"Christmas of 1999?" Oh, this was too funny.

"Yeah."

"That's when you, he, proposed to Leighanne." AJ couldn't help but laugh. "Is that what it means? Do great Brians think alike?"

"Not exactly." Brian sighed. "It's not something we planned. In fact, it started a huge fight."

-----
AJ shook him awake. "Gotta get on the bus, man."

"Can I ride with you and Howie?" Brian yawned. "I don't think it'd make Nick too happy to be stuck with me all day."

AJ gave him a confused look, and then realized. "We got our own busses this tour, Brian. It's Leighanne you might want to avoid."

"No, I should talk to her." He crawled out of her bed. "My luggage is all with her anyway."

"I guess." AJ wasn't sure that was such a good idea.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Leighanne finally broke it. "Why do you think this happened?"

Brian squeezed his eyes shut. "I think God may be trying to tell me something."

"Brian," She took his hand. "How could you think that?"

"Because it's wrong, no matter how much I love him." He jerked away from her. "I was stupid to think that was enough."

Leighanne sighed. "Are we still friends?"

"Yes."

"How did I react when you told me?" She was leading the conversation somewhere, but honestly wanted to know.

"She told me she was happy for me." Brian looked up with a miserable expression on his face. "You know, Nick must by slowly dying having to see your husband wear my face."

"God isn't punishing you, Brian." She lifted his chin, and looked into his eyes. "Leviticus is the same man who said it's a sin to eat pork, and that women are inferior and unclean. He's inconsequential in the big scheme of things. We're all supposed to love each other, how can what the two of you have be wrong?"

"We've had this conversation before." Brian managed a small smile. "But I needed to hear it again."

"Good. I don't want your relationship to suffer because you have all these doubts." She brushed some hair out of his face, and backed away a little.

"You're seeing us at two separate people. Your Brian has the capacity to become me, Leigh. Doesn't that bother you?" She never got a chance to answer, because Brian's cellphone rang. "Hello?"

"This is Joey. We need to talk."

Go to Dark Side Part Three or Go to Light Side Part Two

~When I look into the mirror, and see a face I don't recognize, I am no longer surprised.
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