Title: Shades of Gray - - Dark Gray
Author: Granitite Stone, granitite@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I be writing fanfiction? There is no malicious intent in this story, I know nothing about these men's real lives.
Rating: R
Summary: When one moment changes everything, and one decision can change a lifetime, you make the best choices you can. The question is, what choice is the right one? Even if you think you've made it, what's not to say you wouldn't have been happier the other way?

Brian sat up. "I tried to call you all day yesterday. Where were you?"

"The 1990's, trying to convince myself not to do something stupid." There was a rustling on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry Justin kept hanging up on you."

"It's okay." He waved Leighanne closer, so she could hear too.

"It's just that he and Britney argued that last time they were together. He still won't sleep with her, she made this joke about interchangeable pretty boys, and how Nick Carter would be glad to sleep with her."

Brian laughed. "That is the first relationship that's ever going to be ruined because the guy won't put out."

Joey tried to get his laughter under control. "I never expected it to be you, Brian. I always thought it would AJ who met his future self."

"This isn't time travel, I'm from an alternate time line." He looked over at Leighanne. "A very alternate reality. Listen, do you have any idea how this happens?"

"A girl dressed in solid black or white asks for your autograph. She'll do it in private, so it's neat, and the next morning, Boom. You wake up in the wrong bed."

"No kidding." He smiled at Leighanne, with a look that said 'No hard feelings.' "Why? How?"

"Honestly, there's only one thing we could come up with, and we've had a few years to think on it."

"What?"

"God is trying to tell you something."

Brian seemed to crumble, and Leighanne grabbed the phone. "Don’t tell him that! I just spent the past ten minutes trying to convince him he's not going to hell."

"It might not even be him. It all depends on what book he signed, white or black."

"Well?" Leighanne looked at Brian, wondering which answer was worse. Was he wrong for being with Nick, or was she wrong for being with her Brian.

"White. We signed the white book." Brian was quivering a little.

Joey had barely heard him. "Tell him not to worry. He's the teacher, not the student. The version of him who signed the black book is the one who needs to make a choice."

Leighanne didn't show her pain, and just stroked his hair. "See, you're not being punished. Joey, how do I get my husband back?"

"Well, according to the Fates, the standard visit is less than a week, as long as the student learns what he's supposed to."

"Fates?"

"They're the two girls who did this, on the orders of some mysterious man they call, the Boss."

"My Brian signed the black book." Leighanne was starting to feel a little sick. "He's the one who made the wrong choice, isn't he?"

"Leighanne," He had no idea what was happening, but he could guess. She was what was different. "It just means he needed to be shown something."

"I see." She hung up the phone as tears ran down her face.

"I'm sorry." Brian hesitantly touched her shoulder, then pulled her into a hug. "I never thought … I'm so sorry."
-----
"I just don't understand." Kevin paced back and forth. He was making Brian dizzy, especially after all those hours on the bus. Leighanne was still a mess, and Kevin had grabbed him for an interrogation. "When did this start? Why did this start?"

"Christmas, three years ago. As for why.." Brian smiled. "He's Nick. I could go on, but I always end up sounding like a teeny bopper."

"But why would you risk it? You're not that much of a sucker for a pretty face." Kevin felt so confused.

"Because I love him enough to not give him up." Brian only knew one thing that would make Kevin understand. "I'm not a coward like you and Mike were."

Kevin got a little paler. "How do you know about that?"

"You told me. Don't you dare judge me, Kevin Richardson. Just remember, you were faced with exactly the same decision and took the easy way out." Brian grabbed Kevin's arm as he walked by, and pulled him onto the couch. "I don't want to fight with you again."

"We fought?"

"Not us. You and Nick. He kicked your ass."

"I refuse to believe that." Kevin wanted to wipe that smirk off Brian's face.

"This scrawny eighteen year old kid was mopping the floor with you." Brian was laughing now. "It was so funny, watching Nick go medieval on you. We had to cancel two shows."

Kevin scowled, but his curiosity got the better of him. "All this time, and the two of you never fight? Never broke up?"

"We fight, especially on tour. There was a point, right after Mom stopped talking to me, when the only time we said two words to each other was on stage."

That bad? "What was it about?"

Brian stared into space for a moment. "Commitment. Nick is terrified of commitment. When the fans started noticing we weren't all over each other, and we were both going a little crazy alone, I cracked. I finally told him it didn't matter if he could call me his boyfriend, or wear the ring I gave him, as long as I could have him."

"But-" Kevin glanced at Brian's hand.

"He chose that moment to pull out a ring box, and ask if I didn't mind being his forever." Brian thumbed the silver ring. "Not quite sure who scared him into it."

"Are you happy?" Kevin had unwittingly asked the same question as Fate.

"God yes."
-----
Nick threw sheet music down in front of him. He looked upset. "Start learning it."

"What?" No Place, this was the music to No Place.

"The fans are freaking out because we didn't sing it. Someone had leaked the info, and all the girls at last night's concert were expecting it." Nick was shaking. "If you're still here by the next show, management is expecting us to sing it."

"I can't sing this with you. It wouldn't be right." Brian could see how upset Nick was. "They can't make us sing. We'll talk to the band."

"They already told the fan club." Nick's voice sounded dead. "If you're still here, we'll have to do it. If we don't…. Management is like my mother sometimes. They have their ways of punishing me and Brian if we get out of line. It usually involved interviews on opposite coasts, and bad scheduling."

"They wouldn't." He looked at Nick. "Okay, they would." Brian hesitantly touched Nick's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't touch me." His voice was icy, and Brian knew whatever ground they had gained on the bus was gone. "You don’t have the right. You gave it up before you ever had it."

"It's not *you* I gave up! You may look like Nick, and I may look like your Brian, but we're not them. Maybe I could be with you, maybe I should be, but I love my wife. That's not going to change just because I met you. I don't care what lesson Fate is trying to teach me." Brian grabbed a suitcase at random. "Deal with your own abandonment issues. I'm staying with AJ."

Go to Dark Side Part Four or Go to Light Side Part Three

~When I look into the mirror, and see a face I don't recognize, I am no longer surprised.
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