Mood:  sad

I just received word that my grandma died today.  Please pray for my family and for her...may she rest in peace.

She was my greatest advocate in my discernment journey.  I could always count on her prayers.  Now I hope she is praying for me from Heaven.

Also, I may have a niece..it's a long story...

Mood:  energetic

Check out the new SND vocation ad at the bottom of my blog!  I'm sooo proud of the Sisters for creating a banner like that and putting it on the web!  BRAVO!  I think that if you click on it, it will take you to the international page of the Sisters of Notre Dame.  I know a few people who are pictured in the ad.

Well, the vocation director is talking with the provincial and she'll talk to the council to see what my next step will be.  Please keep me in your prayers!

Mood:  not sure

Ok, I have nothing to worry about.  That's what the vocation director told me when we left from our last meeting...  You know me.... I worry about everything.  It's how I function in life.  I really don't know what I'd do with my time if I wasn't worrying about something or another.  Ha!

So, the vocation director is going to give me a favorable review with the council when she presents.  I'm super excited about that and I hope that the coucil will give me a chance.  So, I might be able to be a postulant!  I'm SUPER excited about that!  And I'm looking forward to all of the challenges that that will bring.

I still haven't given away most of my dolls.  I have ideas, but that's as far as it's gotten so far.  Oh well.

We now have a stable internet connection at the house!  I'm excited about that.  That, and we now have FREE long distance calling!  BRAVO!

Mood:  irritated

Well, we lost the internet connection at the house.  Now I have to walk over to the school to check my e-mail...and I am not doing that very often.  I guess I'll have to learn to live without the internet for a little bit.  I can always check things out when I am at my parents' house or at the school next door.

I gave away one of my Cabbage Patch Dolls that I'd collected (JoAnne Renee was the name of the doll).  The girl that I gave it to made me a cute Thank-You note that she painted herself.  It was very nice of her to do that.  I hung it in my classroom.  I hope that the girl treasures the doll.

Saturday I'll be volunteering helping out at the Children's Home Flea Market working in the basket booth.  That should be interesting.

I hope to be a Big Sister to one of the kids at the Children's Home soon.  I hope that it works out for me.  I wonder what I can do with the child...like what kinds of things that the kid would want to do.

Peace!

Mood:  not sure

Well, I think we've officially lost our internet connection at the house.  So, I'm stuck checking my e-mail whenever I can at work or at the school next door.  So, there might be days when I won't get messages.  It seems like a bummer, but I guess that if people could live in the past with no internet, then I can do so now...  At least until we can get a connection established at the house...  It's not as big of a bummer as I think it might be.  It will give me some more time for prayer.

I will be going home tomorrow and then getting my dolls from my parents' house...the ones that I can part with.  I hope that there are kids out in this neighborhood that would like a doll.

Mood:  accident prone

I attended a First Aide class for 6 hours today and they couldn't even give me the paper that I'm supposed to give my boss so that she knows that I was there...bummer...  By the end of that class, I was sooooo tired, I was near falling asleep at the table. 

Then I went to the Heights for a mini art lesson from one of the Sisters.  I loved it, but I was so tired that I had to turn down an invitation to join prayer and supper.  I came home and crashed.  I slept at least an hour and a half and was still sleepy when I awoke.  I had previously been so worn out by that class that I couldn't think straight...

My new fish, Antigone, killed my other fish, Persephone.  How sad :-(  I guess that the tank is just too small for two fish.

I haven't started giving away my doll collection yet.  I want them to go to kids who will love them.  I'm just nervous about going out in the neighborhood and approaching the kids lest their parents think that I'm up to something no good.

I'm thinking about becoming a Big Sister to a child at the Children's Home.  I hope that I can make an impact on the child's life if I am able.  I wonder what that will be like...

Mood:  lyrical

So, I want to sew a skirt to match my reversible vest that I made awhile ago...  I've never made a skirt before so I wonder if I'll be able to pull it off.  I pulled off the vest with little to no difficulties (though figuring out how to make it reversible was a little mini trial).  I've also made a mexican-style embroidered dress before.  That turned out really well, though my grandma had to finish the parts that were difficult for me...mainly the sleeves and the neckline.  Otherwise, the dress is quite cute.

Anyways, back to this skirt... I think I have enough of the fabric that I used before because I bought the whole rest of the bolt when I found it again.. (I kept going back to the store in search of the same fabric...at least twice...and when I found it the third time I figured that I'd just buy the whole thing instead of constantly searching.)

I don't know what design of skirt would be the easiest to make.  Any ideas?

I've also picked up a new prayer book.  It's called "The Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary".  I like this version of the office, it's really easy to follow.  I've been rather good at keeping up my prayer too, this book is nice and structured...a prayer for morning and evening each day.  There's also a daytime prayer, but I haven't added that to my day yet.  I'm just ecstatic that I am doing morning and evening prayer on my own!!!

I have a meeting with the vocation director later this week (actually in a couple of days---Weds to be exact).  Please keep me in your prayers.  I'll be showing her the prayer books that I have found.

I want to give away my collection of Cabbage Patch dolls...though I wonder if it would be a good thing to give them to the neighborhood kids around here.  I don't want their parents to be suspicious.  I really have no bad intentions, but you know how parents are, better safe than sorry.  I'd love very much for each of my dolls to find good homes..with deserving girls.

It's still in my heart to become a mentor for a child at the children's home.  I wonder what it would take for me to be able to do that.  I will write the director of volunteers and ask that question.

Mood:  happy

Sr N was in the hospital for a week last week.  I'm so glad that she's back home.  She's got a new diet to follow.  Between her and Sr Suz's diets, I don't really know what can be cooked for supper.

Sr Suz is on vacation.  She won't be back for at least a week.  I miss her.

I have been told to wait to gather to discuss my psych evaluation.  Oh well, what's another month?  I really hope that I can stay with this community.  I really feel as though I belong here.

Our July 4th festival went well.  I worked side by side with a friend because I didn't trust my math skills.  When we got separated, I had to rely on myself.  I found that it wasn't so hard after all.  I don't know what I was so concerned about.  I feel like I made a fool of myself in front of one of the Sisters on the council (she was in charge of the booth).  Bummer...hopefully she'd be able to see beyond that.

I can't believe that this 3-day-long weekend is almost over.  Wow, it went fast!

Mood:  not sure

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
fill me with life anew that I may love
the things You love, and do what you would do.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
until my heart is pure;
until my will is one with Yours,
to do and to endure.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
my will to Yours incline,
until this selfish part of me
glows with Your fire divine.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
so I shall never die,
but live with You the perfect life
for all eternity.

This song has been going through my head the entire weekend.  Perhaps it's a sign of what I should be reflecting with for prayer.  Actually, I got online to find the lyrics and printed them out so that I can pray with them for this whole upcoming week.  Perhaps I will learn to live them.

I saw a rainbow tonight.  I take it as God's way of saying that everything will turn out ok...as a reminder that God is in control and to trust Him.  THANKS GOD FOR SENDING ME THE RAINBOW!!!

God sent me a rainbow the first time that I met the Sisters that I am living with, and I took it as a sign.  So, I take this one as a sign that everything is going according to God's plan...whatever that may be...

Well, I'm helping to take care of the dog while Sr Suz is on retreat and then on vacation.  He'll sleep with me.

Mood:  down

The vocation director that I've been working with doesn't think that my prayer life is good enough for her to recommend me to move on to the next step.  I'm trying my hardest in all of this and I'm just really not feeling very good at all.

Perhaps I am trying too hard.  I hate all of this waiting and wish that I had some news one way or another.  If I need to move on and get another place to live, I wish that I knew...  I hate all of this uncertainty.

All God asks of me is that I try.  If this is not good enough for the Sisters, then so be it.