A Day to Reflect
Mood:
hug me
I returned from my grandma's funeral late last night and decided that I needed an additional day to reflect. So, today I am at my parents' house for a while. I will miss talking to my grandma on the phone when dad would call her. I feel that she was my greatest advocate in praying for me as I consider religious life. Now, she'll be praying for me from Heaven. It just doesn't seem real. While at the funeral home, I was able to touch my grandmother one last time. She was so cold. I kinda wish that I hadn't done that because that's not a good memory to have. I would rather remember her giving me a hug when she was still alive. Now the last memory that I have of her touch is me touching her cold arm while she was in the casket.
She looked like she was sleeping and that she would wake up at any moment. I swear that it even looked as if she were still breathing...but how is that possible? It was just my imagination working overtime.
I enjoyed seeing my family gathering for the funeral, but what a sad thing to have to gather for.
I wonder if I will ever get back to St Louis? That's where my grandparents are buried...but there is no longer any family members that live there... It was so sad to think that I probably won't go back to the gravesite in my lifetime :-(
As I type, tears are streaming down my face. I know that Grandma lived a full and holy life and that she's in Heaven with God and Grandpa, but that doesn't make it any less painful. God be with our family as we live without grandma.