Mood:  accident prone

I attended a First Aide class for 6 hours today and they couldn't even give me the paper that I'm supposed to give my boss so that she knows that I was there...bummer...  By the end of that class, I was sooooo tired, I was near falling asleep at the table. 

Then I went to the Heights for a mini art lesson from one of the Sisters.  I loved it, but I was so tired that I had to turn down an invitation to join prayer and supper.  I came home and crashed.  I slept at least an hour and a half and was still sleepy when I awoke.  I had previously been so worn out by that class that I couldn't think straight...

My new fish, Antigone, killed my other fish, Persephone.  How sad :-(  I guess that the tank is just too small for two fish.

I haven't started giving away my doll collection yet.  I want them to go to kids who will love them.  I'm just nervous about going out in the neighborhood and approaching the kids lest their parents think that I'm up to something no good.

I'm thinking about becoming a Big Sister to a child at the Children's Home.  I hope that I can make an impact on the child's life if I am able.  I wonder what that will be like...

Mood:  lyrical

So, I want to sew a skirt to match my reversible vest that I made awhile ago...  I've never made a skirt before so I wonder if I'll be able to pull it off.  I pulled off the vest with little to no difficulties (though figuring out how to make it reversible was a little mini trial).  I've also made a mexican-style embroidered dress before.  That turned out really well, though my grandma had to finish the parts that were difficult for me...mainly the sleeves and the neckline.  Otherwise, the dress is quite cute.

Anyways, back to this skirt... I think I have enough of the fabric that I used before because I bought the whole rest of the bolt when I found it again.. (I kept going back to the store in search of the same fabric...at least twice...and when I found it the third time I figured that I'd just buy the whole thing instead of constantly searching.)

I don't know what design of skirt would be the easiest to make.  Any ideas?

I've also picked up a new prayer book.  It's called "The Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary".  I like this version of the office, it's really easy to follow.  I've been rather good at keeping up my prayer too, this book is nice and structured...a prayer for morning and evening each day.  There's also a daytime prayer, but I haven't added that to my day yet.  I'm just ecstatic that I am doing morning and evening prayer on my own!!!

I have a meeting with the vocation director later this week (actually in a couple of days---Weds to be exact).  Please keep me in your prayers.  I'll be showing her the prayer books that I have found.

I want to give away my collection of Cabbage Patch dolls...though I wonder if it would be a good thing to give them to the neighborhood kids around here.  I don't want their parents to be suspicious.  I really have no bad intentions, but you know how parents are, better safe than sorry.  I'd love very much for each of my dolls to find good homes..with deserving girls.

It's still in my heart to become a mentor for a child at the children's home.  I wonder what it would take for me to be able to do that.  I will write the director of volunteers and ask that question.

Mood:  happy

Sr N was in the hospital for a week last week.  I'm so glad that she's back home.  She's got a new diet to follow.  Between her and Sr Suz's diets, I don't really know what can be cooked for supper.

Sr Suz is on vacation.  She won't be back for at least a week.  I miss her.

I have been told to wait to gather to discuss my psych evaluation.  Oh well, what's another month?  I really hope that I can stay with this community.  I really feel as though I belong here.

Our July 4th festival went well.  I worked side by side with a friend because I didn't trust my math skills.  When we got separated, I had to rely on myself.  I found that it wasn't so hard after all.  I don't know what I was so concerned about.  I feel like I made a fool of myself in front of one of the Sisters on the council (she was in charge of the booth).  Bummer...hopefully she'd be able to see beyond that.

I can't believe that this 3-day-long weekend is almost over.  Wow, it went fast!

Mood:  not sure

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
fill me with life anew that I may love
the things You love, and do what you would do.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
until my heart is pure;
until my will is one with Yours,
to do and to endure.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
my will to Yours incline,
until this selfish part of me
glows with Your fire divine.

O breathe on me, O breath of God,
so I shall never die,
but live with You the perfect life
for all eternity.

This song has been going through my head the entire weekend.  Perhaps it's a sign of what I should be reflecting with for prayer.  Actually, I got online to find the lyrics and printed them out so that I can pray with them for this whole upcoming week.  Perhaps I will learn to live them.

I saw a rainbow tonight.  I take it as God's way of saying that everything will turn out ok...as a reminder that God is in control and to trust Him.  THANKS GOD FOR SENDING ME THE RAINBOW!!!

God sent me a rainbow the first time that I met the Sisters that I am living with, and I took it as a sign.  So, I take this one as a sign that everything is going according to God's plan...whatever that may be...

Well, I'm helping to take care of the dog while Sr Suz is on retreat and then on vacation.  He'll sleep with me.

Mood:  down

The vocation director that I've been working with doesn't think that my prayer life is good enough for her to recommend me to move on to the next step.  I'm trying my hardest in all of this and I'm just really not feeling very good at all.

Perhaps I am trying too hard.  I hate all of this waiting and wish that I had some news one way or another.  If I need to move on and get another place to live, I wish that I knew...  I hate all of this uncertainty.

All God asks of me is that I try.  If this is not good enough for the Sisters, then so be it.

Mood:  happy

Ok, so I put high priority on sleeping for as long as I possibly can before I get up for the day...  I've been challenged by the vocation director to go to mass more often.  I'm up for this challenge, but it means getting up earlier...eek!

 I've been able to do it at least twice in the last week or so, so I'm not moving at such a bad pace.  Dear God please help me to go to bed earlier so that I can get up early enough to make it to mass.

This past weekend, I went to the festival at the Children's Home.  Many of the Sisters were there...including the provincial and her mother and some of her other family members.  My sisters and I sat down to play BINGO with the provincial's mother because she was alone at the table.  Anyways, I won (but it wasn't my money that I played with), so I gave some of the money to my Sisters, and tried to give some of it to the provincial's mother but she wouldn't take it, so I ended up getting an ice cream cone.

I had fun!!!

Mood:  chillin'

Today I tagged along with Sr N and went to the Heights for the dedication of the new pond there.  It's a really big pond with a waterfall and a fountain.  The fountain shoots up into the air and it's really neat, but I like the waterfall better.  Some kid put two fish in it already, but the pond looks so muddy that I wonder if you'd be able to see the fish.

Today was also the feast day of Sr M, our provincial.  The Sisters are all going to celebrate her feast day on province day, though.  Province day is going to last 2 days this coming weekend...Friday and Saturday.  Basically it starts before I get out of work on Friday, but I will get there as soon as I can that day.  Then it goes all day on Saturday.  The Sisters are going to be talking about Human Trafficking.

Tomorrow (or later today for all you literal people out there...since it's past midnight when I'm writing), I'll be participating in a Walk for Life.  Some of the Sisters will be going.  I walked last year and it was really nice...but I think it rained.  I think it might rain again this year, so I'm debating taking an umbrella.  One of the Sisters from the Heights will be driving a van and come down to pick me up.  I'm really excited!

Mood:  hug me

  I need a hug!

  I've gone through alot lately and a hug would be nice.  Anyways... Now I'm a lady in waiting...waiting for the results of the testing to come back...waiting to meet with the VD to tell her how it went... waiting for the meeting between the VD and the others...

  Waiting for my sunflowers to grow up and flower!!!!!  They are starting to come out of the ground now.  I'm sooo excited!!! Something's actually growing and I haven't killed it yet!!!  I haven't had the best of luck growing things in pots, so I think that if I leave them alone and let mother nature take care of them, they'll grow up.

I've got the insurance info for my job.  All of this paperwork is confusing.

I went to the local thrift shop and got some teethers and rattles for my babies.  I saw some other really neat things like teddy bears and things that play music, but I didn't have enough change to get them and I really didn't want to put the purchases on my credit card.  I hope that the babies like the things I got for them :-)

I have a bulletin board at work that I get to decorate.  I'm really excited about it because I can be artistic there.  It's going to be a summer theme.  I was thinking about maybe doing a big sun...maybe out of tin foil...so that it's shiny and people can see their reflection in it... and then something with teddy bears and maybe some pictures of my babies.  Or at least put their names on the teddy bear cut outs.

Mood:  happy

Today I planted some sunflower seeds in the Sisters' yard.  I planted them along the fence in hopes that they won't be mowed down or the dog wouldn't get them.  I really hope that they grow and make it to their flowering stage.  I haven't had much luck growing much of anything and the last time I tried to grow a sunflower it shrivelled and died before it got very big at all.  Hopefully with time and a little TLC from God, they will grow and mature.  These particular flowers are supposed to grow to 12 feet tall.  I'm soooo excited about the possibility!!!

I hope that I'll be around long enough to see them flower!

Well, later this week I'll take the first part of the psych evaluations that the Sisters want me to take.  I really hope that they don't find something that will make them not want to accept me.  I'm a bit scared about it, but it really shouldn't be anything to frighten me...  My therapist says that it's a win-win situation.  How is it winning for me if I find that I cannot be accepted in Religious Life based on something that these tests might say?  It would be such heartache to wonder why God is leading me through this only to find out it's not for me.  All of my trust is in God on this, hopefully He will see me through.  I really LOVE this community and I really can see myself spending the rest of my life with them...if they'll have me.

Mood:  don't ask

I'm currently covered from head to toe in spots!!! Woohooo!!!  (Said with a tint of sarcasm).  I took some medications for something and had an allergic reaction to them...so I'm now taking medication to fix the side effects of the first medication... Gee Whiz..and people don't seem to understand why I am so against medication in the first place.  There are always side effects and they are generally NOT good.  Why destroy one part of your body to cure another?  It's like a curse.

With that said, the Sisters want me to take the Psych Evaluation.  I'll be doing so one day next week and a day the week after.  That's going to be fun...

I don't need a test to tell me that I'm challenged...

These dang spots are itchy... dang medication... how was I to know that the medication they perscribed would make me break out almost near the end of the perscription?

Anyways...