Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics by Don Black
1. Overture
2. Let me finish
3. It's not the end of the world (if I lose him)
4. First letter home to England
5. Sheldon Bloom
6. Capped teeth and Caesar salad
7. You made me think you were in love
8. Capped teeth and Caesar salad (Reprise)
9. It's not the end of the world (if he's younger)
10. Second letter home
11. The last man in my life
12. Come back with the same look in your eyes
13. Take that look off your face
14. Tell me on a Sunday
15. I love New York / It's not the end of the world (if he's married)
16. Married man
17. I'm very you, you're very me
18. Let me finish (Reprise) / Let's talk about you
19. Nothing like you've ever known
20. Finale
21. When you want to fall in love
2. Let me finish
Just what time of night do you call this?
No, I'm not all right, I've said this before
But you haven't heard
Let me finish, I said let me finish
How long did it take before you rung the doorbell?
Hair's combed, and your tie's a little too perfect
No more alibis, no more stupid lies, what a fool I've been!
Let me finish, I said let me finish
Wait a minute, you'll get your turn
It's not often I get the chance to talk
It's getting harder to hide that I'm no spring chicken
Forever's not as long as it used to be
Never thought I would ever say
Keep Manhattan, give me Muswell Hill
Sick of looking at your fair-off sweaters
And your constant sneezing when the pollen's high
No, I don't want a drink, not yet
I've rehearsed these next lines for ages
Why do I feel cold?
I suppose it's nerves, I don't need a drink
It's not the end of the world if you lose me!
I've made up my mind, I think that I have
I don't care if the neighbours hear!
You always say we British are too reserved
I somehow hope that you would tell me
You've found somebody else, not now
Let me finish
You'll get your chance to call me a child
I don't want to hurt you. Stop screaming
It hurts when I hurt you
Face facts, you and I are simply not suited
I want kids, you won't even talk about them
Please don't. I must not be talked into staying
3. It's not the end of the world (if I lose him)
It's not the end of the world if I lose him
It just might seem so tonight
It's not the end of the world It's a blessing
Mustn't wait till it's too late
Tell me I've done the right thing
Well I know that myself
The older I get though the choosier I am
And somebody handsome and brilliant
Will be hard to find
That's my kind
It's not the end of the world to take chances
Standing still is no big thrill
It's not the end of the world to chase rainbows
I'll be fine when I find mine
It's not the end of the world to move on
It's not the end of the world till it's gone
4. First letter home to England
Mum, I've got a lot to tell you
Me and Joe have had a bust up
This will be the last letter
With the post mark stamped N.Y.
I've met a film producer
Please don't laugh his name is Sheldon
He's what the people here all call
A real together guy
He is off to California
And he wants me to go with him
Oh, thanks for your last letter
I was thrilled to hear from you
The pictures of Aunt Edna
Are all absolutely lovely
And incidentally Sheldon's mum
Loves Mantovani too
Mum, you must ignore the neighbors
You can't stop Cassius barking
You'll become a nervous wreck, love
Just by listening to them
Sheldon has a house in Bel Air
Well, it's really a pink mansion
It's got electric gates and armed guards
And he calls it La Boheme
Sheldon has a lot of meetings
Well, he's terribly ambitious
He's working on a musical about
Rommel, as a boy
Tell Dad I will be livid
If you spend two weeks in Folkston
I know that La Boheme's a place
That you will both enjoy
5. Sheldon Bloom
I'll walk your dog
You'll be the first one in the shower
We'll make love every hour
Beneath your Van Goh
I'll park the car
And I'll whistle while the eggs are frying
I'll dance while your shirts are drying
Waltz or tango?
Let me move in
And let's get this show rolling
I'll talk to your plants
I'll even go bowling
And there is nothing I wouldn't do
I'd be the perfect little lady for you
Sheldon Bloom
Make some room
Won't say a word
When you're watching Spencer Tracy
I'll learn to dig Count Bassie
Nothing to it
I'll start to jog
If that's what you want to take up
I'll stop wearing make-up
I can do it
When you meditate
I promise you I'll be quiet
I won't eat eclairs
I'll share your sugar free diet
There is nothing I wouldn't do
I'll be the perfect little lady for you
Pass the key
Sheldon B
No horoscopes
You won't ever hear me mention Pisces
There won't be any crises
You can bet that
I'll give up pork
In a will tune that old viola
Quote things from Emile Zola
I must get that
I'll make chicken soup
When you feel fluey
Be your analyst
When your heads real screwy
There is nothing I wouldn't do
I'd be the perfect little lady for you
Sheldon dear
I like it here!
6. Capped teeth and Caesar salad
Capped teeth and Caesar salad
Good old Beverly Hills
With every deal that's done
An award is won
You can rent a car
Or rent a star
Suntans and Sunday brunches
Sprinklers sprinkle away
It's like a fairy tale
Long as you don't inhale
I'll call you back and have a nice day
Capped teeth and Caesar salad
Spotless Beverly Hills
If someone takes a walk
All the neighbors talk
Ev'ry man and beast
Came from out east
Egos and valet parking
Cameras rolling away
Survivals very hard
Without your Diner's Card
I'll call you back and have a nice day
Capped teeth and Caesar salad
Prime time Beverly Hills
The cost of land so high
You can't afford to die
When you feel bad day
You dial-a-prayer
Earthquakes and english muffins
Ulcers poppin' away
Careers are being hyped
Before the scripts are typed
I'll call you back and have a nice day
7. You made me think you were in love
You made me think you were in love
You made me think that I was all you'd need
You made me think you were in love
If they gave Oscars for deceit you would win
Plastic man, hear me if you can
You made me think you were in love
You could've used your charm on someone else
You made me think you were the one
It's hard to see the frog when dazzled by lights
Hollow man, break down if you can
Exit, way out
Exit, fade out
It's a wrap, no more takes
We're through!
Exit, print it
Exit, goodbye
You'll find someone else at a cinema
Near you!
I've seen this movie and I hated it before
Fade out, exit, cut!
You made me think you were in love
We're both too old to play these kind of games
If you tried coping with the real world
You'd realize that after conning someone
You can't just say that does it for today
Exit, way out
Exit, fade out
It's a wrap, no more takes
We're through!
Exit, print it
Exit, goodbye
You'll find someone else at a cinema
Near you!
Fade out, exit, cut!
8. Capped teeth and Caesar salad (Reprise)
Capped teeth and Caesar salad
Blood clot Beverly Hills
When business starts to dip
Wheel out the glucose strip
Have a cutthroat time
With a twist of lime
Dreamers trapped in a jewel box
Big names fading away
It's like a wonderland
Except the laughter's canned
I'll call you back and have a nice day
9. It's not the end of the world (if he's younger)
It's not the end of the world if he's younger
It won't show, no one need know
It's not the end of the world, not for ages
I won't let that worry me yet
I know he'll still be young
When I'm over the hill
And his fascination will soon turn to boredom
There's nothing in common
That his friends and I have to share
I don't care
It's not the end of the world if I love him
What's a few, birthdays or two
It's not the end of the world if he loves me
Is he though, too young to know?
It's not the end of the world if we try
If it's the end of the world, then goodbye
10. Second letter home
Mum, I know you'll think I'm potty
But at last I think I've found him
He's young but he's mature
And you will love him I can tell
He says one day we'll marry
And I don't think I should rush him
But if he gets his skates on
We can have some kids as well
There are lots of things I miss mum
No-one makes a normal sandwich
You need Goliath's mouth
To eat the ones New Yorkers buy
I long to find a drink
That hasn't got an ice cube in it
And for a sake of tieser
I swear I could gladly die
He lives down in Greenwich village
That's a trendy part of New York
He shares a loft with an attorney
With the unlikely name of Dwight
I know we all must heel, mum
It might sound a bit peculiar
But down in Greenwich village
It's all the things all right
11. The last man in my life
I'm a lady, when you kiss me
I'm a child when you are leaving
I'm a woman, every time our bodies meet
Complete
Long lost feelings stir inside me
Used to think nights were for sleeping
Being wanted, is a thrill I never knew
Till you
Now I'm alive, inside I'm glowing
I'm how I want to be
Loving you I can be me, just me
It's the first time when you touch me
Now I long for rainy mornings
I am certain, you're the last man in my life
I'm a lady, when you kiss me
I'm a child when you are leaving
I'm a woman, every time our bodies meet
Complete
Long lost feelings stir inside me
Used to think nights were for sleeping
Being wanted, is a thrill I never knew
Till you
Now I'm alive, inside I'm glowing
I'm how I want to be
Loving you I can be me, just me
It's the first time when you touch me
Now I long for rainy mornings
In each other, we find all we're looking for, and more
Found the rainbow I was after
No more dreams with one face missing
I am certain you're the last man in my life
I am certain you're the last man in my life!
12. Come back with the same look in your eyes
I will see you in a week or two
It's late, you better get going
Take care of yourself and call any time you feel
That you're missing me
I can only say what I always say at these goodbyes
Come back with the same look in your eyes
I know you've got your work to do
And I know how much you love me
But sometimes a friendly face can look good to you
On a lonely night
If there comes a time just remember I'm the kind that cries
Come back with the same look in your eyes
Everything we want we find in each other
We would be fools to let love slip away
Everything's so right, I'm scared that we might
Lose it one day
We could never keep things from one another
You know all the feelings that are in my heart
It's not easy, it's not easy
When you have to be apart
So I'll see you in a week or two
It's late, you better get going
You'd think by now we'd know how to handle this
But we never will
When you are away, ev'ry day I pray that nothing dies
And you'll come back with the same look in your eyes
It's not easy, it's not easy
When you have to be apart
So I'll see you in a week or two
It's late, you better get going
You'd think by now we'd know how to handle this
But we never will
When you are away, ev'ry day I pray that nothing dies
And you'll come back with the same look in your eyes
Come back with the same look in your eyes
13. Take that look off your face
You must be mistaken, it couldn't have been
You couldn't have seen him yesterday
He's doing some deal up in Baltimore now
I hate it when he's away
You must be mistaken, I'm sure that you are
There's more than one car with stickers on
And lots of young guys wear corduroy pants
And I'd know if he hadn't gone
Take that look off your face
I can see through your smile
You would love to be right
I bet you didn't sleep good last night
Couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door
Well, I've got news for you: I knew before
If I'm not mistaken, this is nothing new
That I can tell you when it began
I noticed a change, but I just closed my eyes
As only a woman can
No, I didn't dig deep
I did not want to know
Well, you don't interfere
When you're scared of the things you might hear
When he's back you think I will end it right there and then
Well, my fair weather friend, you're wrong again
Take that look off your face!
I can see through your smile
You would love to be right
I bet you didn't sleep good last night
Couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door
Well, I've got news for you: I knew before
I can see through your smile
You would love to be right
I bet you didn't sleep good last night
Couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door
Well, I've got news for you:
I knew before!
14. Tell me on a Sunday
Don't write a letter when you want to leave
Don't call me at 3 AM from a friend's apartment
I'd like to choose how I hear the news
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Let me down easy, no big song and dance
No long faces, no long looks, no deep conversation
I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Don't want to know who's to blame
It won't help knowing
Don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze
Tell me on a Sunday please
I don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Don't run off in the pouring rain
Don't call me as they call your plane
Take that hurt out of all the pain
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
15. I love New York / It's not the end of the world (if he's married)
I love New York, I love New York, I love New York
The words you see
On coffee cups, on shirts and hats, on lollipops
And baseball bats, on pens and walls, on skates and cars
In libraries and singles bars
On badges, flags
Tattooed on skin
Oh, New York
I've never been so lonely
Loneliness must be the worst feeling of all
How many times can you walk 56th street?
Drives you mad, worst time I've had
How many times can you look at tall buildings?
Tall is tall, and that is all
Don't see the harm it'll do
He seems such a nice man
And anything's better than watching those game shows
Or TV commercials that sell you Miami all night
Must be right
It's not the end of the world if he's married
Making due is nothing new
It's not the end of the world, it's just starting
Half of one is better than none
It's not the end of the world, no, it's not
If it's the end of the world, well, so what
16. Married man
I'll be discreet
I won't hiss at your wife when I see her
And though I'd love to be her
She'll never know it
I'll take the pill
I won't upset the boats you're rowin'
Carry on the way you're goin'
I won't blow it
When baseball's on
You can turn my set louder
You can rave all night
About your wife's clam chowder
I'm sure it can work out just right
Don't mind being the candle
You sometimes light
Married man
Yes we can
Won't write things down
I'm not the type that keeps a diary
I know when to be fiery
Or plain placid
I won't look crushed
When you say your wife is pretty
Bright, and very witty
Pass the acid
I won't cry at all
When you walk right by me
I'd say you can't lose
You'd be a fool
Come try me
She and I can cover each mood
One will be in heat while the other's subdued
Married sir
Me and her
Won't call your club
And I'll never drive thru Oyster Bay, dear
I won't give you away, dear
To your Bernice, love
If you should die
I won't attend the funeral service
No need to look so nervous
Rest in peace, love
When Christmas comes
I'll choose your gifts and wrap them
When we make plans
I won't scream when you scrap them
There is nothing I wouldn't do
I'd be the perfect little mistress for you
Grant my wish
Married dish
17. I'm very you, you're very me
I'm very you, you're very me
We seem to go well together
You're very me, I'm very you
A perfect match I would say
We mean the world to each other
There are no lengths that we wouldn't go to
Goes to show you
I'm very you, you're very me
We make a great combination
You're very me, I'm very you
No one could be
More in tune with me
Like sea and sand, like sun and sky
There'll always be you and I
I'm very you, you're very me
If I was Jane you'd be Tarzan
You're very me, I'm very you
If I am Bonnie, you're Clyde
If you're New York than I'm Broadway
If I'm a violin you're Yehudi
Punch and Judy!
I'm very you, you're very me
We just can't be separated
You're very me, I'm very you
No one has got
What we two have got
Like P and Q, like two and three
You'll always be next to me
To bet we've got to be cared for
To bet we can't go too far
When you come home from the office
I'd love to be waiting in your bed dear
Don't drop dead, dear
I'm very you, you're very me
We seem to go well together
You're very me, I'm very you
I would love to see much more of you
We seem to have so much to share
Are all affairs so unfair?
18. Let me finish (Reprise) / Let's talk about you
Funny, always thought of you as my girlfriend
I just can't believe you could come in here
And say all those things
Let me finish, you must let me finish
Thank you
Thanks for bringing me up to date dear
Didn't know you knew all the in's and out's
Of my private life
Let me finish, you must let me finish
Let's talk about you
A minute or two
What tart is your husband keeping
Where's he sleeping?
Can't you say?
Let's talk about men
You're at it again!
I hear that you need a bedful
For those dreadful
Games you play
How dare you come in here
Wagging your wicked tongue?
Your cheeks are red my dear
You look like you've been stung
I know my life's a mess
But I think you're the worst thing in it
Wait a minute
Let's talk about you
Because you never do
You just couldn't wait to blurt out
All that dirt out in my face
Let's talk about pills
And illegal thrills
I hear that the habit's gripped you
And you've tripped to every place
Does it make you feel good
Knowing that I feel bad?
Yes, knowing you it would
You must be very sad
You can't know how I feel
But my friend you're about to learn how
It's my turn now
Let's talk about booze
And how much you use
What time do your kids start drinking?
Am I sinking low as you?
He's a married man, don't blush my friend
Wouldn't you love to get your friends on him?
How's that fat little man, was it one more affair?
Where are you going, why are you running away from me?
Are you absolutely sure you don't want to stay for tea!
19. Nothing like you've ever known
Nothing like you've ever known
That's the life I thought that I was
Gonna show you
Lonely girls leave such things
That's one happy ever after
That I owe you
Married man, always looking at your watch
I wanted to spend more time than twelve till two
Loving you
And nothing like it should have been
Every time I think it's gonna be
The last time
Each time I expect too much
Being wrong can get to be
A painful past time
Something new, that is all it was, you know
But when you need someone, any love will do
Sad, but true
And nothing like we've ever known
That is how I thought all our tomorrows
Would be
I thought we, were all we'd need
Goes to show you just
How wrong two people could be
20. Finale
Just what time of night do you call this?
No, I'm not all right
Maybe she's all right, maybe you're all right
Let me finish, I said let me finish
What kind of a person am I turning into?
Must be mad to have gone this far
Must be mad to share a married man
Call your leave and by the time you leave me
It's a pill on this smellsome pack on my back
No I don't want a drink. Sit down
I'd as well not call any punches
I'd been wrong before
Maybe I'm wrong now
But I feel I'm right
Let me finish, I said let me finish
Let's talk about me torrencing your life
We're both very good but not facing the facts
We're turning
I don't feel the things I feel
It's no life at all
Not now, let me finish
You'll get your chance to call me a child
I don't want to hurt you. Stop screaming
It hurts when I hurt you, this isn't a joke
For God's sake stop smiling
Please don't, I mustn't be talked into staying
I've done it again!
Trust me: if you want something ruined give it to me
Show me a dream and I'll show you a nightmare
I'm not a little girl anymore I keep forgetting that
Whatever I do now is bound to be a mistake
Maybe I expect too much
Come back, can't we sit and talk this thing over?
Why should I cry? I can do better
Not good enough for me
Nothing like it's gonna be
It's not the end of the world to chase rainbows
I'll be fine when I find mine
It's not the end of the world nothing like it
Someone's there and I'll find where
It's not the end of the world to be free
It's not the end of the world wait and see
21. When you want to fall in love
Time the song begins and time
The dance begins to stir
Once more the world is turning
So, the music plays again
And we're back on the floor
Once more the spark is burning
Hands and faces weren't around
A half remembered sound
The sleeping heart is waking
When you want to fall in love
You may find less than love
But that's the chance worth taking
Light, we're dazzled by the light
We wallow in the light
The dreamers start believing
Words are whispered in the night
And for a while we're safe
A kiss can be deceiving
Hands and faces weren't around
A half remembered sound
The sleeping heart is waking
When you want to fall in love
You may find less than love
But that's the chance worth taking
Time the song begins and time
The dance begins to stir
Once more the world is turning
So, the music plays again
And we're back on the floor
Once more the spark is burning
Hands and faces weren't around
A half remembered sound
The sleeping heart is waking
When you want to fall in love
You may find less than love
But that's the chance worth taking
