MY NEW CARD PLAYING PARTNER
I can’t always find someone to play cards with so I decided to use my bird. There are a few problems with this though and here is a list of them I run into.
1.He cheats
2.He eats the cards
3.He poops on the cards
4.He is very impatient
5.If he gets mad at you he will bite you.
6.Sometimes it’s his turn to play and he will take off flying, Then I have to chase him
down and bring him back.
7. Actually to be honest he’s the worst card player I ever played with
If all possible I recommend playing cards with humans, much easier.
KLUNKERVILLE JUNKFOOD JUNKIE SUPPORT GROUP
(KJJSG)
Do you
have a hard time passing up that 3rd piece of cake? Do you find
yourself eating more than 3 candy bars in one day? Or how about that junk food
aisle in the store? If you catch yourself buying more than 8 bags of candy
while shopping and all of the above please get the help you need.
Join now
What we will do for you
For a low price of just $39.95 per week you’ll
get the following
1.
A man to follow you while you shop. He will physically
remove any junk food
from your cart as you become week and put it
back where it belongs.
2.
A nice moldy cake to turn you off from eating junk food.
3.
A $5.00 gift certificate for our Klunkerville health food. Only $39.95 per purchase.
4.
Once a day a man will come to your home and physically
remove any junk food from your cupboards. NOTICE:JUNKFOOD WILL BE DONATED TO THE SCHOOLS
FOR LUNCH PROGRAMS.
So do the right thing today and get the
support you need. It works. You will not be sorry.
Support Group Times
Monday night at 8:pm next door to charlie’s pastries in the old ice cream parlor building.
See you there
UP
WITH JUNKFOOD SOCIETY
(UWJS)
Since I have pasted the above on my site of the Klunkerville Junkfood Society Support group a new group submerged. I must let them speak their opinion (even though I think it’s a bunch of balogna).
Don’t
let junkfood down. Eat it.
Here is a list of reasons why we are against the other group, and these furthermore we feel in our opinion are good reasons.
Some Ingredience
In Junkfood Why Junkfood Isn’t All That Bad
1.Cholestroal: Before it clogs your
arteries it works like oil to make all those
Chemicals in the food to go in your
system better. Then after it does clog
your
arteries, big deal: - get an
operation and start over if you make it.
2. Eggs: Eggs are good.
3. Chemicals: A good preservative. Maybe it might help preserve
you too. It’s worth
a try. Look what it does for the
food. Why that stuff never rots. This is one food
guaranteed to last as long as the
package does. Who could ask for more than that?
4. Vegetable oil: Vegetables are good
for you.
5. Yellow Number 5: Pretty color.
6. Frosting: frosting is sugar and sugar
is energy, and besides if you get a cavity
from this when you go to your six
month checkup at the dentist you will really
have a good reason to go.
DON’T JOIN THE OTHER GROUP. JOIN OURS
By doing so you may not have as long to live, and you may be so full of chemicals and cholesterol and run down and fat from it, but look at the fun you will have. You’ll have just enough energy for that last doughnut. That’s all that counts.
GROUP
MEETING TIMES
Our group meeting times are:
Note from editor: I didn’t put their address on here for
there is way too much controversy about this group and besides that I think
that they are a bad influence and I can’t support that here.
SOMETHING
STUPID I DID ONCE WHILE WALKING
One day I took a walk. I found a five dollar bill. It was green. It reminded me of spinach, so I ate it which was a very stupid thing to do, for with that five dollars I could have bought 15 cans of spinach.
I went to the Klunkerville doctor to have it removed, but He refused at first because He said, “no one is stupid enough to eat a five dollar bill.”
I told him if
he get’s it out I’ll split it with him.
He agreed. I
won’t go into details of how he did this because you don’t really want to know
but he retrieved it. I stayed with my bargain and then took my two and a half
bucks and left.
You would
think this was the end of my problems but it wasn’t. On the way home there was
a candy machine. I put my money in that to get a snack. The machine messed up
and I lost my money. Well I got mad and hollered a few times and kicked the
machine besides that. All this did was make me look like an idiot for it did no
good at all.
I gave up and
went home with no money and a sour hand. After this awful rotten day I planed
on winding down by having something to eat and resting. I looked in the
cupboard for something to eat. I had just one can. And sure enough as soon as I
seen what it was I lost my appetite. It was non other than a can of spinach.
