Chapter eight

           Different Perspective 

I carried my mother home and laid her in the study couch.  Miya and Dania sat by her lifeless body sobbing.  I hated them for being so weak.  All I could do was look at them in a disapproving manor.  I didn’t want to look at my mother and her deeply cut throat.  The blood still smelt fresh.

The thought sickened me but I didn’t run.  I started to my room.

“Lady…” Dania managed to get that out through the sobs. 

“What?” I asked letting the anger in my voice. 

“What will we do?” I looked at her then walked to the door pausing.

“Ask Michael.” I said it not facing her then walked out of the door and up to my room.  I wanted to tell her to stop crying because it was a sign of weakness but I thought that she had no need to show any strength, as she is a servant.  The thought made me feel bad for thinking so lowly but a part of me thought it was true.  I made my way to the room escaping the other servants and their weeping.  Some of them looked at me as if I didn’t care, like I should be crying too.  Not what I planned to do…

I went to my closet and put the clothes I always wore to “blend in” when I went to town to play with the children.  I touched the small pendant around my neck then grabbed the small dagger that my brother gave to me.  I always was a little rusty with the dagger, awkward, but I always somehow managed to use it effectively.  I put the sheath around my arm and sheathed the dagger carefully.  I winced remembering the last time I put it around my arm and how it took weeks to heal and the scare will probably be there for the rest of my life. 

Though the dagger was small it still hindered the movements of my left arm a bit, not too much that I couldn’t throw a few punches.  I put on my cloak and went down the stairs.  When I arrived at the front door Dania stood in front of it, her eyes red.  Angry and bitter I tried to move past her, but she blocked me.

“Move.” I growled at her but she stood her ground, wincing slightly.

“Madam where are you going?  You should be here with your brother.  Instead you go out looking like a common girl.  Would you show your mother such disrespect?”

“Do you think me cold hearted for not weeping for my mother?”  She looked slightly frightened by my angry words.

“No of course Mada…”

“Do you think I do not see it in your eyes?  I see it in the eyes of every servant in this house.  I will tell you something and you would do well to remember it:  There is not a soul on this earth or in the heavens that ever loved my mother more than I!  And how dare any of you servants dare to question that?!” Dania started crying again but not because she was afraid.

“Madam…”  She choked back her tears.  “I know what you are planning and it is better to let the law handle this.”

“The law?  The law is decadent, decayed, passé.  It’s obsolete.  Would you place your trust in such an out of date system?  Should we trust our lives with them?  Would you?”

“Yes…Madam.”  I was so angry with her but also proud for standing up to me.

“Then you are a fool.  My mother trusted her life with the law.  Look where that ended her.  If I had tears left in me then yes I would weep, but I haven’t tears enough for the hell that this life has given me.  Now get out of my way.”  I tried past her again and she blocked.  In an adrenaline rush I pushed her hard enough to send her flying back into the chair but the study.  I felt bad but justified.  I went to the stable released Fyré and jumped on him bareback.  We went down the path, backtracking the way my mother came.  I went over Miya’s words in my mind…

…two men attacked us on the road back from the Duke’s Manor…

They were coming from where…

…tomorrow I have to go to town…

Mother said she was going to town with Miya and Dania was to stay with me.  But Miya said…

…the Duke’s Manor…

But they don’t correspond.  Why would my mother lie to me?  Miya said they were coming from the Duke’s Manor…that is where I will go.  Maybe she didn’t lie she just decided to stop there on the way home…except town is in the opposite direction.  I was baffled, there was no answer to any of this that I could think of.

When I finally arrived I noticed a small lake on his estate along side the shore was Nicolaus.  I let Fyré run free to graze on the estate.  I saw a guard standing looking at the horse as it grazed.  I looked at him for a moment then he finally turned his attention to me.

“There, man, is my horse.  Make certain that no one touches him for he has an awful temper.  There’s a good reason why I call him Fyré.” His eyes widened and he nodded.  I let my hair down then tucked it in the hood, covering my face as much as I could and started toward Nicolaus.  He didn’t seem to notice me come so I just stood behind him looking at the lake as he did. 

“Beautiful lake…” My voice startled him, which made him turn quickly to me.

“May I help you Madam?”  He asked.  I turned away from him.

“I just need information, My Cursed Lord.”  The had picked up, it was beating desperately at my hood.  I knew that Nicolaus was confused.   I took off my hood still turned away from him, I lowered my eyes slightly.  The wind picked up my hair slightly, finally calming down. 

“Do I know you My Lady?”  I looked up.

“I should hope so love.”  I finally turned to him, keeping my face blank.

“Orianna?  What’s wrong?  Why are you dressed like that?”

“Because I’m in mourning.”  I walked past him to the edge of the water.  He put a hand on my shoulder and sighed softly. 

“Who was it?”

“Who died or who killed?  For I can tell you both.”  I kept my back to him as I talked then turned toward him my face hot.  But I didn’t cry.

“Both.” He spoke gently which only made me want to cry but I fought hard to keep my composure.

“First answer me this…why did you not tell me that you were engaged?  To have me run along like your poppet?  Are you so touchable now?”

“Orianna…Lyla and I are…were betrothed not engaged.  They are different.”

“Like hell they are.  It’s the same bloody thing!  How dare you play me like that.”   I shook off his hand and glared at him disdainfully. 

“Orianna the agreement between Lyla’s family and mine is off.  I’m not betrothed.  And I am very touchable…” He smiled lightly and touched my face.  I gave a sigh of relief and relaxed going back to my blank face.  “Now tell me what happened?”

I looked down this time with pain in my eyes and my hands growing cold. 

“My mother was murdered today on her way back from here.  Your lady friend had her murdered.”  I never looked up for fear that I would start to cry.

“Oh God Ori…I’m so sorry.”  He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me.  Maybe he thought I was going to cry but I didn’t.  “You’re so strong Ori.”  He whispered in my ear.

“Not strong enough.”  I whispered back.  He led me to the lake keeping one arm around me.  The beautiful blue water shimmered in the fading daylight.  We sat on the grass looking at the lake.

“You said that the deal with Lyla is off…”  He nodded slightly.  “And now?”

“Do not worry about it Orianna.”  The wind started to pick up again throwing pieces of hair across my face.  The silence was growing and all I could do was think but even then it felt like I was thinking to loud.

“If you have such a beautiful lake why do you go to the creek?”  He looked at me for a second but I kept my gaze in front of me.  He finally looked and away and got up walking in front of me. 

“There are no woods here.  Just some trees here and there.  Barely any life.”  He paused as if he wasn’t sure about how to continue.  I frowned wondering what it was that he was withholding.  I looked up at him, squinting in the mid-day sun.  He squatted down and ran his hands over the water.  There was a short pause that made another unnerving moment.  “You see…” He stood up and turned to me.  “These…waters, these…shores, they all lack the life the creek had that even when it was away it was there.  That life is now animating this lake, at this very moment, just by her presence.”  He emphasized the word ‘her’ which made me frown more.  He turned halfway away from me giving me his profile.

“What…do you mean?”  My voice came out small and soft.  I wasn’t even sure if he had heard me.  There was a distance of only a few feet but it felt like miles.  It felt like we were both standing on two separate worlds and I found myself wanting to go to his world to be near him…touch him.  The thought scared me just with the fact that if I ever loved again the curse of death would carry over.

“Don’t you see?”  He turned back to me.  “You…the lake lacked what the creek always had.”  He closed the distance and kneeled next to me.  “You.  Even when you weren’t there I could feel you.  All around me was your life, your energy.  I could always feel the life you brought to the creek, to the forest.”  He sat down completely looking away from me.  “When I was a little boy I would sneak away from the manor and go to the creek.  I’d always felt drawn to it.  One time when I was about ten I saw a girl there, not much younger than I was then.  She had long black hair and amazingly glowing green eyes.  She was always dressed like a little princess and always spoke proper English.  She was so adorable and so beautiful.  I would always return just to see that little girl.  Sometimes I thought she knew I was there.  When she was older maybe fourteen, I being sixteen, she had matured more and her beauty growing into elegance.  She still had a little bit of childish beauty…I felt myself…I…” He stopped there letting it hang.  I knew I had been blushing.  The heat faded in my cheeks and was replaced by a feeling of a healthy glow.  I knew what he was trying to say but a small part of me wanted to run away.  The part that knows that someday I might lose him.  That thought scared me more than anything. I looked down.

“So it was you all these years…” I looked at him and his eyes widened but went normal again.  He knew that I felt him there.  He nodded slightly and grabbed my hand.  He moved closer as if to whisper something in my ear.  My heart pounded in my ear as he kissed the corner of my mouth.  I closed my eyes and wondered what was going to happen.  Should I let this go on?  Will he stay with me?  Or will he die…

My heart pushed me to do what my mind didn’t want.  I turned completely to him and softly kissed him back.  I felt deep pain but a twinge of happiness at the change of events.

I pushed away abruptly and stood up.  Heat rushed to my cheeks again.  I didn’t know what I was doing but I knew that I couldn’t stand to lose again.  I thought maybe if we kept our distance he wouldn’t die or be in danger.  I whistled for Fyré and he came running to me.  Nicolaus stood up and looked at me with a blank face.  I jumped up on my horse and looked down at Nicolaus sadly.

“Why do you deny yourself the one thing that would make you happy?”  He yelled to me still with that blank face.

“Because I do not want to lose you.  You are too precious.” Fyré started walking slowly.

“Ori!” He called to me then ran in front of the horse stopping it.  We went around him.  This time he did not pursue.  “Orianna,” He yelled to me from behind.  “If you never doubt a single thing in this world, in your life, never doubt this.  I love you Orianna and nothing can change that.  Not even Val can stop us from being together.”

I gasped when he said that name.  I didn’t know any one knew about Val but Aarie and myself.  I turned the horse back to him.

“How…” He came closer, happy that he finally got my attention.

“You didn’t know I could hear them did you?” Confusion covered my face.  “He’s talked to me too Orianna.  He said I’m important but that I need to stay away from you…please don’t leave me…” His face changed to a pleading look almost like terror.

I was speechless and I was sure he was telling the truth.  I looked down for a moment then looked back up to him.

Copyright of PN Luciérnaga 2000-01

Go to  Chapter Nine--Voices

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