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Best Slash Drama

Pairing: S/X

Author: james chick

Summary: Xander tries to help Spike heal after he is hurt.

Feedback: Yes please.
Warning: This story deals with rape and homosexual relations, if this bugs you....don't read it.

Rating: NC17

Disclaimer: None of the characters mine. If they were, Spike would be chained to my bed. ;-)


Dedication: For Marta, because she always makes me smile .




Part One

He almost didn't go out that night. He was sooo tempted to put it off until tomorrow, he'd pay the late charge at the video store. But then he remembered that he had rented the movies on his parents account because he already had a late fee on his, and that if his parents realized he was still authorized to use their account they would take him off immediately. So that was why Xander was running through the park at 11:45 at night in Sunnydale, he had fifteen minutes to get the movies back.

A noise off in the distance alerted him to possible danger, he stopped and held his breath listening for what could possibly be trouble. He had a stake, he wasn't that stupid, but he was alone after all.

He soon realized that the noise was just a bunch of drunken college guys shouting and laughing further ahead in the darkness. Nothing to worry about there. He continued on his way to the video store.

Xander was feeling pretty good, having made it to the video store with five minutes to spare. He headed back to his apartment making his way through the park once again. He wanted to make sure the drunken frat boys weren't attracting any of Sunnydales unregistered voters.

They were in exactly the same spot as when he'd come through the first time. This having peaked his curiosity, Xander wandered over to see what was going on. As he got closer he could make out the voices better and started to understand what was going on.

"Oh yeah, you like that don't you bitch."

"Hold onto that leg, damn it!"

"Hurry up. I'm next!"

"Gonna fuck you so hard you'll bleed to death!"

Xander felt sick, he should have checked this out before returning his movies. He ran toward the group of boys intent on rescuing the poor girl they were obviously raping. Sometimes, in Sunnydale, you forget how evil the humans can be.

What Xander saw when he got there made him sick. The poor 'girl' the seven boys were attacking was Spike. Spike who stood even less of a chance against seven drunken frat boys than a girl would have. He was being raped from behind by one guy while another was fucking his face. Two of the other boys were holding his legs apart, while the other three cheered them on.

Xander knew in his heart that Spike was evil, and probably deserved to be tortured and beaten, but no creature deserved this. In all the tales Spike had ever told Xander of his glory days, he never mentioned raping anyone, he didn't seem the type. Xander knew the type, hell he was related to, and had first hand knowledge of, the type.

While these thoughts were crashing through his brain he was frantically searching for a weapon. He had a stake, but these guys were human. He found a metal pole in the trash bin nearby and rushed the boys that were violating the helpless vampire.

Xander had not only the element of surprise, but he was sober. He hit the one who was fucking Spike over the head before anyone even knew he was there. The boy dropped like a stone. The one currently shoving his cock in the vampires mouth was the next to fall. The two boys that had been holding Spikes legs dropped the vampire and then they all attacked Xander. It took every bit of training and instinct he had to avoid being grabbed by the remaining five drunks. A swift blow to the nuts with the metal pole brought it down to four against one.

Xander couldn't afford to chance a look at Spike but he could hear the pained moans coming from the direction he was in. He saw one of the boys reach into his jacket, figuring the kid was going for a weapon, Xander swung out at him as hard as he could. The boy dropped, a gun in his hand, and Xander prayed that he would get out of this unharmed. He went for the gun, one of the remaining three rapists went for it as well. There was a brief struggle and a shot was fired. The last two boys ran off into the night.

Xander rolled off of the boy, his chest covered in blood. He felt for the boys pulse, nothing. Shit! He looked around him, the other two boys had run off and the one he hit in the nuts was struggling to his feet. He staggered toward the boy and hit him over the head, hard.

Xander knew that the gunshot would attract attention, and not neccesarily the friendly kind. He looked around for Spike and spotted him still lying on his face in the grass. He rushed over to him and flipped him over. He hadn't been prepared for the sight that met him.

Spike's clothes had been ripped pretty bad during the attack, he had been beaten, raped, stabbed in the gut, and was bleeding profusely from not only his stab wound but from his ass as well. The vampire was in bad shape, he needed blood and they needed to get out of there.

Xander dragged Spike over to the rapidly cooling body of the dead boy and shook Spike to rouse him. Spike opened his eyes, a look of terror crossing his face. He saw Xander and the look changed to one of confusion and eventually relief.

"Spike, man you're in bad shape, and we have to get out of here. You need blood. This is it, so chow down."

Spike looked at the body he was lying next to and recognized it as one of his attackers. He growled, vamped out and sank his fangs into the boys neck. The blood was still warm and he needed it desperately. There wasn't a whole lot there, what with the gunshot wound, but it was enough. Spike withdrew his fangs and tried to stand.

Xander pulled Spike to his feet and tried his best to get Spike covered. His shirt was in tatters and the pants wouldn't do up as the zip was busted and the button was missing. He settled for buckling Spike's belt and pulling his duster closed.

The scent of blood in the air was drawing the predators so Xander grabbed Spike's arm and led him out of the park as fast as he could. He knew that the four unconcious frat boys would most likely be dinner for some vampires or other assorted nasties, but he somehow couldn't bring himself to care. The only thing that mattered right now was getting Spike somewhere safe.

Xander took Spike to his apartment, the crypt was too far and he didn't feel right about leaving Spike by himself after that. Besides that fact, he didn't want to be alone right now. As long as he had Spike to think about he wouldn't have to face the fact that he'd killed that boy. Sure it was self defense, but he'd never killed anyone before. Not anyone human at least. What bothered him even more was that he didn't think twice about dragging Spike over to the body to feed. He'd left those others knowing that they would most likely be killed. Didn't that make him just as bad as them? No, he decided. They deserved what they got, all rapists deserved to die horribly.

Spike was totally silent the entire way back to the apartment. He leaned heavily on Xander for support, he was still weak from the blood loss and the radiating pain shooting through his body. He didn't even realize where he was until he heard Xander invite him in.

Xander led Spike into the bathroom and leaned him against the wall as he ran a hot bath for the vampire. He then pulled his bloodied shirt off and threw it in the garbage. Once the tub was full he told Spike that he was going to help him to undress and get in the tub. Spike was surprisingly compliant, he didn't help Xander remove his clothes but he didn't fight it either. Xander helped Spike into the tub and began to gently cleanse him.

It took almost half an hour to get Spike clean and out of the bath, neither man made eye contact or spoke the entire time. Spike tensed briefly when Xander pulled him up out of the water to wash his abused anus. Xander washed him quickly but thoroughly as gently as possible and then pulled the plug, draining the dirty water. He stood Spike up and turned the shower on to rinse him.

Once the vampire was clean and rinsed Xander led him out of the bath and set to work drying him and bandaging his wound. He then left him in the bathroom while he fetched some sweats from his bedroom for Spike and a clean shirt for himself. He dressed Spike and took him over to the sink. He pulled a new toothbrush from the medicine cabinet and put some toothpaste on it before handing it to Spike.

"Here, brush your teeth. I'll be back in a minute."

Spike nodded and took the tooth brush as Xander left the room. Having done all he could to make the vampire feel clean again, something he understood all too well, Xander went to the kitchen and pulled a cold beer from the fridge. He drank it down quickly and then rummaged through the cupboards until he found the bottle of whiskey he'd bought after Anya left him. He never ended up drinking it though. The smell reminded him of his father and didn't exactly stir up fond memories.


Foul breath, smelling of whiskey, cruel mouth pushed against his own. Tongue forced into his mouth, the taste even worse than the smell. The revulsion of knowing what was going to happen, hearing the sound of a zipper being lowered. Knees cracking against the concrete floor. Tugging sensation as his pants are pulled off. The pain, the excruciating fucking pain of being taken dry and unwilling. The humiliation of not being able to stop him, knowing that this might be the time he kills him when he's done. Praying that it is.


Xander shakes his head to clear the disturbing thought away, he takes the bottle into the livingroom and sets it on the coffe table. He then heads back down the hall to the bathroom, to Spike.

Spike had finished brushing his teeth, both in game face and human. It helped, but it wasn't nearly enough. He needed to burn the taste of those humans from his mouth. Xander had been surprisingly supportive during the whole ordeal. He didn't know what to make of it. The fact that the boy knew what he needed to do was a sure sign that he had experience in this area. Maybe that was why he was helping him. Right now he didn't care, Xander had saved him tonight, hell the boy was taking care of him! He could have dumped him in his crypt and left, but he'd brought him home with him, bathed him even. He wondered if the boy had any idea how grateful he was.

Xander knocked on the door before pushing it open. He noticed that Spike had fished brushing his teeth and was now just standing at the sink with a blank look on his face.

"Hey Spike. I'm going to take you out to the front room alright. We'll watch some TV, I've got a bottle of whiskey you're more than welcome to. Hell, I'll let you smoke inside even. Okay?"

Spike nodded and allowed Xander to help him to the sofa. His ass was still sore and moving hurt, but Xander seemed to understand that and took it slow. He put a soft pillow down on the couch and helped Spike to sit on it before opening the whiskey and handing it to him.

Spike took a healthy swallow from the bottle, feeling it burn the minor cuts in his mouth. It felt good, like it was washing away the nights earlier events. All he wanted now was a cigarette.

Xander seemed to read Spike's mind as he pulled out an ashtray, kept for guests of course, and set it on the table. He went to Spike's duster and searched the pockets until he found a package of cigarettes and a lighter. He handed these to Spike as well and watched the look of gratitude pass the vampires face again.

Spike shook a cigarette from from the pack and put it in his mouth. His hands were shaking slightly and therefore he wasn't able to light his lighter. The harder he tried the more his hand shook. He was grateful when Xander took the lighter from his hands and lit his cigarette for him.

The whiskey and the cigarette were working wonders for his state of mental health, Xander flicked the TV on to some cheesy sitcom and they watched in companionable silence. Halfway through the bottle and about three cigarettes later, Xander got up and went into the kitchen to grab himself another beer.

As he stood looking into the fridge, he realized he didn't have any blood here for Spike. He would have to get some tomorrow morning as he wasn't sure how long Spike might be staying. He sure as hell wasn't going to send him away the way he was acting. The vampire hadn't spoken a word since he'd been attacked. No, not attacked, RAPED! An attack makes you think of a fight, punches and kicks, your run of the mill violent episode. There was a big difference, he would take an ass kicking anyday over a rape. He remembered the last time it had happened.


Xander was in his basement apartment packing. He had found a new apartment and would be leaving by the end of the week. He was happy, he had a good job, a beautiful girlfriend and was finally, FINALLY getting out of this hell hole! Anya had gone home an hour before to start packing her things as well. He heard the front door upstairs bang open, the loud footfalls echoing throughout the house, his mother was most likely passed out in the closet of his old bedroom. Her place of refuge when he was out drinking. He prayed that the old man was drunk enough to pass out. He wasn't that lucky, the door to the basement was flung open and his father stumbled down the stairs.

It was blessedly quick this time. His father walked up to him, punched him hard in the face and Xander fell down. He was flipped over, his boxers torn off and driven into savagely. He bit into his fist to keep from screaming, the screaming just made his father pound him harder. With a grunt, his father came and then pulled out. He kicked Xander visciously in the side of the head and left. Xander passed out.

When he came to hours later, he was bleeding from a gash on his head and a tear in his ass. It wasn't as bad as he'd had before and he knew he didn't need a doctor. He ran a bath, as hot as he could stand it and scrubbed himself raw. He didn't cry. He hadn't cried afterwards for years now. There was no point, no one cared because no one knew, and he didn't want them to.


Xander grabbed another beer and went back out to the living room. Spike was still watching the TV, or at least it looked like he was, and drinking the remainder of the whiskey. He hoped it was helping him, he honestly didn't know what else he could do for the vampire. He needed to take his clues from Spike, but Spike was being extremely quiet, and passive. He didn't know if he should bring it up or not. Finally he decided to just leave it alone for now, if Spike wanted to talk about it he would. He picked up the remote and flipped around the chanels, settling on a soccer game on ESPN he sipped his beer and tried to ignore the fact that he had shot and killed a man tonight, and he didn't regret it in the least.

By the time Xander was ready for bed Spike still hadn't said anything. He'd finished off the whiskey and had joined Xander in drinking beer. Xander went to the linen closet and got some blankets and an extra pillow. He came back to the livingroom and set the linens on the couch beside Spike.

"I'm going to bed Spike, I brought you a pillow and blanket. I'd like it if you stayed. Two of those....well they got away. I'd feel better if you didn't leave. Okay?"


Xander was stunned. He hadn't really expected a reply, not a verbal one anyway. The most he'd gotten from Spike all night was a nod or a headshake.

"If you need me...if you need anything, just yell. Or come and get me if that doesn't work. I'll leave my door open. The curtains are closed so you should be safe from the sun in the morning. Goodnight Spike."

Xander hoped he could fall asleep before his concience had time to make itself known. He needed the sleep and he couldn't deal with guilt right now.

Part Two

Xander woke up to the sound of muffled cries. He sat up and looked around his room before he cleared the fog from his sleep adled brain and realized the sounds were coming from the livingroom. SHIT! SPIKE! Xander leapt out of bed and ran into the other room. Spike was curled up in a ball on the sofa shaking and crying. Xander apraoched him caustiously. He touched Spike very gently on the shoulder.

"Spike? You alright? It's gonna be okay, you're safe here. I'm here and I won't let anyone hurt you. Not ever again. I promise. I'm going to protect you, keep you safe. Come on, Spike look at me. See that it's me, Xander. I won't hurt you."

Spike was locked in a nightmare, one that wouldn't stop even after he'd woken up. He kept replaying the event over and over. The feeling of utter helplessness, the pain of being violated, the humiliation, the fear, the panic, he couldn't dig himself out of the memory. He heard someone aproaching him, felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He froze, in his mind it was one of them, they were going to take him again. He heard the sound of a voice, a calm soothing voice, gradually he made out the words. '..protect you, keep you safe. Come on, Spike look at me. See that it's me, Xander. I won't hurt you.' Spike opened his eyes and lifted his head. He saw Xander crouched on the floor in front of him a look of caring on his face. Spike sighed in relief and launched himself at the man in front of him. Xander caught Spike and held him close. He rocked him slowly just rubbing his hand along his back in a comforting manner. After a few minutes he stood up and picked up the still shaken vampire and carried him into his bedroom.

Xander set Spike down on the bed. He scooted him over to the far side and then climbed in after him. He opened his arms and wasn't surprised when Spike practically leapt back into them.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have known better. It's horrible having no one to comfort you afterwards. Forgive me? I won't leave you alone again. I promise."

"Xander I'm sorry, I..."

"No, Spike. You don't need to apologise for anything. Just try to get some sleep, I'll be right here, I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise."

Spike drifted off to sleep in the comforting embrace of the warm body beside him. He slept without nightmares for the rest of the night and next morning. He woke before Xander, still held by strong warm arms, his head lying on Xanders chest, listening to the rythmic sound of his heart beating. Feeling somewhat embarrassed by his emotional outburst the night before he considered slipping out of bed and leaving. But when he thought about leaving he remembered why he was there in the first place and decided to stay. Something Xander had said last night popped into his head, two of them got away. What had happened to the rest then?


He remembered the attack, the drunken boys took turns kicking and punching him. Then one of them commented on how pretty he looked, almost feminine. The next thing he knew, they were tearing at his clothes, he tried to fight back but the damn chip kept frying his brain. They raped him, all of them. He was praying to a God he didn't believe in that they would leave him alone now that they'd each had a go at him. But apparently he was too good a shag not to have another go at. That's when they started double teaming him. Hard cock in his ass, tearing him up, another in his mouth, forcing its way into his throat. The others holding him down, cheering the other two on. And then nothing. No one holding him down, no one violating his body. He could hear shouting, flesh hitting flesh, the sounds of pained moans that weren't coming from him. Someone had found him, saved him. He heard a gunshot, smelled the gunpowder, the blood. Then he blacked out. When he came to Xander was there, talking to him and pulling him toward someone. He heard him say 'chow down' and saw the face of one of his attackers. He sank his fangs into the dead boy and drank. Then Xander was helping him to his feet and they were leaving. He saw bodies strewn about in the grass, heard the predators approaching. It was okay though cause Xander was there, and they were leaving.


Dead, one of them was definately dead. The others? If they weren't when they left, they were now. The scent of blood in the air would draw the baddies very quickly. He sensed them approaching as they were leaving.

They left. Xander, the slayers 'White Knight' had left humans in the park, knowing that they would die, to get him to saftey. Xander's shirt was covered in blood, not his though. Why then? Bloody FUCKING hell! The boy had killed. He killed that other boy and fed him to me afterwards!

Spike was beginning to see a whole new side of Alexander Harris. Not the Zeppo, Do-nut boy, Demon Magnet, or White Knight, he was already familiar with, he was starting to see the real man behind the masks. The man who knew just how to make a rape victim feel clean again, how to aproach someone like they were a wounded animal, which is exactly how he had felt last night. Xander hadn't badgered him to talk about it, had given him strong whiskey, let him smoke his lungs black, and then asked him to stay. He even did that without taking Spike's dignity, saying that he would feel better if Spike stayed, as if Spike were doing him a favor by not leaving. And after waking up trapped in a nightmare, Xander had held him. He offered him comfort and protection, even going so far as to share his bed holding him all night long to make him feel secure.

Spike knew there was a story behind that. First hand experience, he was willing to bet his un-life on it. How much more was there about Xander that he didn't know? He wanted to find out. He wanted to get to know the, that had saved him, killed for him, and comforted him. Spike had never had a friend before, not unless he counted Thomas, and he was William's friend, and they were just lads. Since his turning he'd had lovers, minions, slaves, pets and enemies. He'd never had a friend, not until now.

Xander woke up to a cool body nestled in his arms. It felt nice to have someone beside him when he woke up again. He always hated being alone. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around Spike and dropped a kiss to the top of the vampires head.

"You awake?"


"Good, cause I gotta get up. Nature calls."


Spike slid off Xanders chest and watched as the man got up and shuffled out of the room toward the bathroom. He reached up and touched the top of his head where Xander had kissed him. Strange, he didn't think Xander would ever willingly kiss a vampire, especially him. Even if it was just a peck on the top of his head. It was nice though, it felt good to have someone touch him who wasn't trying to hurt him. It had been so long he'd almost forgotten how nice it was.

Xander flushed the toilet and washed his hands, he looked into the mirror and studied his reflection. He took note of the dark circles under his eyes and the slightly greyish tinge to his skin.

"Nope, I don't look any different. Hung over yeah, but that's not new. Funny, I thought I'd be able to see it somehow. I mean I don't look like someone who shot and killed a man. I don't look like someone who left four others to become vampire snacks either. Hmm."

Xander shrugged his shoulders and shuffled his way back to bed. He climbed back into bed and rolled on his side to face Spike. Spike was lying on his back with his eyes closed. He could feel Xander looking at him, he startled when he felt warm hands pull him against a warm chest. This was nice, he could get used to being held, even if it did make him a ponce like Angel.

Xander watched Spike for about thirty seconds before deciding 'the hell with it' and pulling him close. He rolled Spike onto his side and pulled his back up against his chest. He draped his arm over Spikes chest and held him. He missed this, Saturday mornings lounging in bed. Snuggling in the blankets and dozing off to sleep. He was glad Spike didn't protest to this. He wasn't sure how the vampire would react this morning. His 'Big Bad' cover being blown to shit when he broke down and cried in Xander's arms last night.

Xander figured if Spike was anything like he was, he needed to be touched, held in a comforting way, by some one he could trust. For Xander it had been Jessie, and after his death he had really missed that. Willow never knew what happened to him, no one did. Jessie had found out on his own one night when he had stayed over and Xanders dad was so drunk he didn't realize that Jessie was there. Xander begged Jessie to keep his secret. He was so ashamed and embarrassed, Jessie promised he wouldn't tell, and he never did. No one knew his secret, until last night. He suspected that Spike had figured it out by now. How else would he have known what to do for Spike?

Eventually, both Spike and Xander drifted back to sleep. When they woke again it was the middle of the afternoon. Xander was still curled around Spike and Spike was still enjoying the closeness. Unfortunately, as Xander stretched behind Spike his 'morning' erection brushed against Spikes ass. The vampire whimpered and froze up. Xander realized what happened and jumped away from him.

"Oh, shit. Spike I'm so sorry man. It's not like that. It's just morning wood. You know, all guys wake up that way. I didn't think, fuck! I didn't mean... I don't want... Damn, I'm sorry."

Spike felt stupid. He should have realized that was all it was, hell he had been human, he knew about 'morning wood', vampires didn't have that problem though, so it didn't occur to him. He knew Xander wouldn't do that to him, but he couldn't help his reaction.

"S'okay, just surprised me. I forgot how the human male body works in the morning, s'been a while since I was a human male. Didn't mean to freak out pet. I'm okay, you didn't do anything wrong."

Actually, right up until then he had done everything right. He made Spike feel better about himself. That he wasn't used and dirty, that he was worthy of caring and affection. And then one little misunderstanding and he'd made Xander feel like a pervert. Fuck!

"Can we pretend that didn't happen? That I didn't just traumatise you? Please?"

"No, we can't. Look Xander, I don't want to talk about it, you know what happened, I have to deal with it. I'd rather deal with it here, with you, if that's okay. And the fact is, your a man, and therefore you are going to wake up hard in the morning. If I get all weepy and crawl into yer bed to be held again I'm going to have to face the fact that I might wake up with a hard on resting against me. I know you won't hurt me. So I'll get over it. Okay?"

"Okay. I take it that vampires don't get morning wood?"

"Vampires and wood don't mix pet. Thought you had that figured out."

"Very funny Spike, you know what I meant."

"Yeah, I know. No, we don't have that problem. We get hard from feeding and fighting. Not waking up."

Long pause

"You want coffee? I don't have any blood here, I'll go out for some after I eat though."

"Thanks pet, coffee sounds good."

Part Three

Xander wondered how much of last night had made sense to Spike. He was pretty out of it when he had dressed him and dragged him home. Did he remember feeding from that boy? Did he realize that Xander had killed him, or that he left the others to die? Hell, the one could have gotten away but he'd hit him again just to make sure he wouldn't. He had, in effect killed five people last night. No, not people. Monsters. They may have been human, may have had souls, but they were still monsters. What they did to Spike, it was the act of monsters, not people.

By the time Xander got back to the apartment, blood, cigarettes, a couple bottles of Jack Daniels, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt for Spike in tow, Spike had come to a decision regarding the events of the previous night. True, he had told Xander that he didn't want to talk about it, and he didn't. Not about what had happened to him at least. He needed to know why Xander had helped him, why he killed that boy and if he was okay with that. Spike had no problem with the lot of them being dead, but Xander was human, and as such he should be feeling some guilt over killing another person. Even if the other person, or people as the others were surely killed after they had left, was a worthless piece of shit.

As he entered his apartment and set the bags down in the kitchen Xander could feel Spike watching him. He knew that whether he wanted to or not he was going to have to discuss last night with Spike. It would be akward, uncomfortable and possibly messy. That was why he had purchased the JD, hopefully enough to block out the entire conversation once it was finished. He had killed. He had killed to protect Spike. Hell for all he knew that could mean they were engaged in the vampire world. The thought made him snicker.

"What's so funny luv?"

"Nothing. Just something that popped into my head."

"Well, I for one could use a laugh, so share."

"I was wondering if we were engaged now."

Spike stood in opened mouth shock. He hadn't expected that. Of all the things Xander could have said, he never expected that. Xander looked over at the gaping vampire and stifled another laugh. He figured an explanation was in order.

"I-I was thinking about last night. The things I did, you know, to those guys. Spike, I don't know how much you remember about afterwards, but I...I shot and killed that guy, the others, I left them in the park to be vamp-chow. Two of them got away, but the other four are most likely dead, and that's because of me."

Xander held up a hand as Spike opened his mouth to interrupt.

"Wait. Let me finish. I killed that boy because there was a gun and he would have fired it, but he was wasted Spike, the likelyhood of him killing me, well I doubt he could have hit a barn with an elephant. I am responsble for the death of five so-called human beings, ....and I don't regret it. Hell, I fed one of them to you! That's why I was laughing. I wondered if that meant anything in the vamp world. Killing for someone, and feeding them that is."

It was Spike's turn to speak but he didn't know what to say. Yeah, killing for someone definately meant something in the vampire community. You only killed for your Master, your Sire, your Childer, or your Mate. Anyone else didn't matter. Xander had killed for him. He could have left him there at the mercy of those assholes, hell he could have beaten them just enough to run them off, but he didn't. He knocked them out cold and left them to die at the hands of demons. And he knew that they would die. Yeah that meant something all right. But what? What exactly did it mean? What did he want it to mean?

"Well, if you were a vampire, it would mean you were either my Sire, my Master, or my Childe. Vamps don't go around protecting each other unless they're close, family close. The only other thing a vampire will kill for is it's Mate. They aren't always vampires, but most of the time they are. Since you're human, it doesn't have to mean anything. I'd like it if it meant we were friends."

"Friends sounds good Spike. I don't have many of those."

"Me neither mate, me neither."

The rest of the afternoon passed with the two of them watching TV and talking about random things. Niether one mentioned anything having to do with the rape or the shooting. Spike had showered and put on the new clothes, not a bad fit either, and headed back to the living room.

"Oh good they fit. I wasn't sure about your size so I took a guess."

"They're fine pet, thanks. Uh, what happened to what I was wearing?"

"I threw everything out. Your clothes, my shirt, they were wrecked. I ah, put the stuff from your pants pockets on my dresser."

"Oh, thanks."

Spike sat in silence as Xander got up and went to the bathroom to shower. He hadn't remembered his clothes being torn, he didn't remember alot of the little details of last night. Xander must've redressed him before bringing him here, he remembered Xander undressing him in the bathroom, and wasn't that just peachy! A master vampire being bathed by a human, being coddled and soothed by a human because humans had raped him. Because HUMANS had RAPED him!

Spikes eyes flashed yellow, he felt his fangs elongate and his brow crinkle with ridges. He was enraged, he blamed the Initiative for crippling him, for leaving him defenseless and weak. He hated the whole human race! Except of course for Xander. He couldn't hate him. He was his friend, his friend who killed for him, who saved him and said he would protect him. Spike didn't want to need protection. He was a predator damn it, not prey! But thanks to a bunch of lousy military doctors he was helpless. Dependant on his food to care for him. If he ever got the chip out, he would exsist on a diet of camoflauged army boys! He'd eat the whole fucking military, one by one until he was sure that every last one of them who were responsible were dead.

By the time Xander came back into the livingroom all showered and dressed, Spike was pacing the room, game-faced and snarling. Xander took one look at him and stopped in his tracks. He knew Spike wasn't himself right now and didn't want to provoke the demon.

Spike spun around and saw Xander watching him. He knew how he must look, angry, unthinking, ready to kill. He expected to smell fear from Xander, but he didn't. Xander looked as though he was just waiting for Spike to calm himself, not scared at all. He stepped closer to him, the demon wanting to scare him, just a little. Spike stopped directly in front of Xander, so close he could feel the boys breath on his face. Still no fear.

Xander watched Spike stalk closer, he saw the predatory movements and knew that he should be afraid, even with the chip, Spike was still dangerous, he was a demon. But Xander knew that Spike wouldn't hurt him, so he waited to see what he was going to do. When Spike stopped in front of him and just stood there, staring into his eyes, still growling softly, Xander did the only thing he could think of, he reached up and petted his face.

As Xander ran his fingertips lightly across Spikes rigid brow the vampire started to calm. The demon retreated as the smooth planes of his human face fell back into place. Xander continued to touch Spikes face, running his index finger over the sharp cheeck bones, across the full bottom lip and then down his throat till he rested his hand on Spikes shoulder.

"Spike? You alright?"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that pet, got a bit worked up, I did."

"Hey, no worries. It's bound to happen. It's almost dark, we can patrol if you want, beat up some demons."

"Sounds good, just..."

"What is it Spike?"

"Not in the park hey?"

"NO! I mean, I wouldn't take you there. Never."

"I know, sorry."

"Don't be. We should check in with Giles first, see if there's anything big that needs our attention. If not we'll go out on our own, deal?"


The walk to the magic box was made in slience, Spike was looking around studying every face they passed, making sure that none of them belonged to the men who had hurt him. Xander noticed Spike's odd behaviour but didn't call him on it. By the time they reached the shop Xander was concerned and Spike was, for lack of a better word, nervous.

Once inside Spike visibally relaxed but never strayed to far from Xander. Xander took it as a compliment, he made Spike feel safe. Him, Xander Harris, the Zeppo, the do-nut boy, made a master vampire feel safe. It was a nice feeling, being the protector rather than the protected.

Buffy and the witches showed up a few minutes later, Giles filled them in on an attack in the park the night before.

"It seems that four young men were drained by vampires, another one had a bite mark in his neck but the cause of his death has been ruled as a fatal gunshot wound."

"Five bodies? Must be a gang of vamps."

"Yes well, perhaps you should keep an extra close eye on the park during patrol for a while."

"Hey, G-man. Did the cops find the weapon? Cause I'm guessing that most vamps won't have their prints on file."

Spike noticed how Xander had tensed at the mention of the gunshot. He hadn't even thought about the possibilty of Xander being charged for shooting the boy. If the weapon was in evidence, Xander would be in a lot of trouble.

"No, as far as I have been able to ascertain the gun wasn't found at the crime scene."

"Oh, okay then. I guess we should head out."

"Buffy, you and Spike should patrol the park as well as the cemetaries on the west side, Xander and the girls, erm, Willow and Tara that is can take the cemetaries over on the east side."



"Uh, Sorry. But uh, wouldn't it be safer if we split up Buffy and Spike? Just because the vamps were in the park last night doesn't guarantee they'll hit the same spot again. I don't want to run into an angry vampire mob without some supernatural strength to depend on. No offense girls."

"I suppose you're right..."

"Great! I'll take fangless and head over to the east side, Buffy and the wicca duo can take the west end of town. See ya!"

Xander practically dragged Spike out of the shop. Once they were far enough away he stopped and pulled Spike into an alley.

"You okay? You looked kinda shook up back there."

"I'm fine pet. Thanks for getting me out of patrolling with slutty. Your mates probably think your going crazy or something though, dragging me out of there and all."

"Kinda obvious huh?"

"Just a bit. Lets get on with this then eh? I could use a spot of violence."

Part Four

Spike and Xander were just about done patrolling their end of town when it happened. Spike stopped dead in his tracks, he sniffed the air and turned even whiter then he already was. Xander noticed the reaction immediately and looked around for the threat. If it freaked Spike this badly, it couldn't be good.

The greasy haired vampire stepped out of an alley about thirty feet ahead of them. It looked like any other young fledge, Xander didn't see what the problem was, then he looked closer. The vamp was wearing a very familiar looking jacket, It was a tan leather bomber style coat with a pit-bull emblazened accross the back. One of the guys from last night had been wearing that coat. Spike must still be able to smell the kid on the jacket. Not good.

"Spike, it's not him. Okay? Just some dirty fledge who ripped off the coat."

"You sure Xan?"

"Yeah. But if it makes you feel better, pretend it is him, go get some revenge."

The smile that lit up Spike's face was pure evil. It reminded Xander that Spike was a Master vampire, and not to be fucked with.

"I can do that."

Spike turned and stalked after the hapless fledge. He didn't know what hit him. By the time Spike was done exacting his revenge, the fledge was begging for the stake. Spike himself was covered in blood, he had broken every bone in the vampires body, had pulled the hair from his head, ripped his pants down and impaled him with a pole he'd found in the alley and torn his dick completely off and forced it down his throat. The fledge would never understand the reason for his brutal treatment, why his executioner kept repeating the phrase 'see how you like it, fucker!' or why there was a human standing by watching with an almost happy expression on his face. He smiled in relief when the stake finally pierced his heart.

"You feeling better?"

"Much. Thank you Xander, that was quite....theraputic."

"Lets go home then, you need a bath."

"Sounds good. I'm bloody well covered in blood and vamp dust."

As soon as they entered the apartment Xander pushed Spike toward the bathroom.

"Leave your clothes on the floor, I'll come get them in a minute and throw them in the wash. I'll leave some sweats on my bed for you."

"Ta mate."

Spike stripped off and climbed into the shower. The hot water felt fucking fantastic. He hated not being able to shower after patrolling. It was one of the many draw backs of living in a crypt. No shower, no cable, no company, because really, who wants to hang around in a musty old crypt? It was good for his image mind you, but that was pretty much shattered as far as Xander was concerned. He heard Xander come in and gather up his discarded clothing. The boy really was turning out to be a good friend. He hoped he didn't somehow fuck this up.

Xander threw Spikes things in the wash and then headed back upstairs to the apartment. He had locked the door behind him when he left, can't be too careful. He figured Spike would still be in the shower, for an evil vampire, Spike sure liked his creature comforts. Hot water, cable TV, human food. He was a strange demon, but Xander was surprised to find that he really enjoyed Spike's company. He had gotten to know him while they were in forced co-habitation in his parents basement. Aside from the human/demon thing they had alot in common. They both had bad experiences with love, they both hated Angel, they both found Willow to be scary and dangerous when it came to magic, and neither of them had the balls to say it to her face. They enjoyed watching sports on TV, thought most sitcoms were trash, loved Monty Python, hated Anne Rice books, and something Xander would never admit, but was pretty sure Spike knew, they both thought that Buffy was a bit full of herself. And yeah, the fact that Spike was a guy, and therefore could do guy things with him didn't hurt. He couldn't see himself drinking beer, playing pool and checking out girls with Buffy or Willow.

Spike heard Xander come back into the apartment as he was toweling off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked accross the hall to Xanders room to get dressed. As he said, Xander had left a pair of track pants on the bed for him and a white muscle shirt. Spike slipped them on and wondered out into the livingroom.

Xander watched Spike walk toward him, his pants were a bit big for the smaller man, hanging precariously from his slender hips. The shirt, one that Anya had bought and was too small for Xander to wear, clung to Spike like a second skin. His hair was still damp and tousled, sticking up all over the place. All in all it made Spike look very sexy. Xander shook his head at that thought. Sexy vampires were a no-no. Best to get in the shower and not think bad thoughts about the emotionally distraught *sexy* NO! not sexy, hurting! Hurting vampire.

I'm gonna grab a shower, turn on the TV if you want, or whatever, make yourself at home."

"Sure mate, you okay Xan? you look a little flush, and your heart rate is up."

"Yeah fine, ran upstairs from the laundry room. I'll be out in a minute."

Xander jumped in the shower and banged his head against the tiled wall. This was sooo not the time to get the lusties for Spike. And damn, the vamp knew something was up. He needed to find some way of keeping his thoughts from going down the dark path. If Spike weren't such a mess right now he wouldn't be so concerned. Then again, he wouldn't be here either.

"God, I don't even know if he likes men that way."

After a quick shower Xander donned a pair of boxers and a T-shirt and headed for the kitchen, he phoned in an order for pizza and grabbed a couple beers from the fridge. Walking back int the livingroom he handed one to Spike.

"You eat?"

"Yeah, while you showered."

"Good, I ordered pizza, no garlic. Should be here in about twenty minutes."

"Sounds good."

"Anything decent on?"

"Nah, the sports channel's got curling on. What kind of bloody sport is that I ask you? As bad as golf if you ask me."

"No shit! And the worst is, both of those so called sports pre-empt wrestling all the time!"

"Ah now there's a sport with some action, not to mention some nice looking bodies to ogle."

"Definately! That Tori is H.O.T. hot!"

"If you go for that type."

"Well, yeah, Who were you talking about?"

"Me? Well, I always liked brunettes myself. Now Lita, she could throw me around any day."

"Ah! So my vampire friend has a wish to be tossed around by a sexy brunette then?"

"Oh yeah, definately. But all I seem to get is tossed around by pissed of blonde. And she isn't even making it fun for me."

"I know your pain my friend, I certainly do. Rarely do we get what we really want."

"Ain't that the bloody truth."

Xander left once more to transfer Spikes clothing from the washer to the dryer. The pizza arrived shortly after and the two men settled on a movie while they ate and drank a few more beers. Clothing was retrieved from the laundry room and eventually Xander started to nod off on the sofa. He dragged himself to his feet, intent on going to bed.

Ah, now for the fun part. What to do about Spike? Leave him on the couch again and face a repeat of last night or ask him to share the bed and look like I'm coming on to him? Decisions decisions.

"I'm beat Spike, I'm going to bed."

"Alright, night then."

"You want to...I mean, you...Oh hell! I'm not being a perv okay? But you can sleep with me if you want to. If you're tired that is, or you can stay up and come to bed later....or sleep out here if you want. Stop me before I turn completely into Willow with all this babble speak would you?"

Spike laughed and stood up. He slung an arm around Xanders shoulder.

"Wouldn't dream of sharing a bed with you if you turned into Red, I'd likely wake up a rodent or something equally yucky."

"Yucky? Spike, are you afraid of rats?"

"Oi! I was alive in London in the late 1800's. Rats could kill you!"

"Don't worry, I'll keep your secret."

"Yeah, I trust you would."

Spike followed Xander into the bedroom. Xander pulled his shirt off out of habit and then turned around to find Spike watching him.

"Oh. I can ah, put it back on. Sorry."

"No worries mate. Don't bother me none, I usually sleep naked. Speaking of which, you got any shorts or something I could sleep in? The pants bunch up."

"Yeah sure, no problem."

Xander grabbed a pair of shorts and tossed them to Spike before turning his back to give the vampire some privacy, not to mention keep himself from thinking naughty thoughts. Spike found the whole situation rather ammusing, Xander had seen him naked, hell he had bathed him, and yet here he was turning away to protect his privacy. As if vampires had any modesty! Spike put on the shorts after removing the pants and the top.

"All done, you can turn around now."

"Okay, uh which side do you want?"

"Doesn't matter to me pet, which do you want?"

"Uh, I usually sleep on the left."

"Right, so I'll just hop into bed then."

Sleep was not coming easy to Xander. His thoughts were drifting back to earlier that night when Spike tortured that fledgling. He knew Spike had enjoyed himself. Why wouldn't he? He didn't expect himself to enjoy watching it so much. He had briefly entertained the idea of dressing a vampire in his fathers clothes and seeing just how thereputic it was.

Of course he could never do that, it was wrong for humans to torture demons just because they're demons. Besides, he'd much rather torture the man responsible than some dressed up substitution. And wasn't that a pleasant thought to try to sleep on.

Spike lay awake for a while dreading sleep. He wasn't as put together as he was acting. He knew that sleep would bring nightmares, the memories still fresh in his mind just waiting to be released. He wondered if Xander would hold him again? maybe he could pretend to roll over in his sleep and curl into him. It was worth a shot.

Xander felt Spike move beside him, he wondered if the vampire was asleep or not. He figured he must be when he rolled into him and curled his body against him. Xander put his arms around Spike and pulled him closer, maybe he would be able to sleep after all. He leaned down and gently kissed Spike's head before closing his eyes to sleep.

Spike was much calmer once Xander pulled him close, the kiss was a nice touch. He now felt safe enough to sleep, knowing that Xander would be there if the dreams got to be too bad. He hated being this weak, but at least he didn't have to face this alone.

Xander woke instantly when the man in his arms tensed up. Spike's whole body was rigid in fear, he was whimpering and Xander was pretty sure he felt the sting of cold tears running down his chest from where Spike's head lay. Xander gently shook Spike.

"Spike. Wake up. You're dreaming again, it's not real. Those guys are gone they won't hurt you again, I promise you, you're safe here."

Spike woke up gradually, he could hear Xander's voice calling him out of his nightmares. He really wanted to wake up and hear what he was saying. He needed to be assured that he was safe.

"...and I promise, I will hunt them down myself if they come anywhere near you. I won't let it happen again, but you have to wake up now."


"It's okay Spike, you were just dreaming."

"Thank bloody God! Fuck I hate this."

"Do you want to go back to sleep or stay up for a bit?"

"Can't sleep. Not just yet. God you must think I'm such a bloody wanker! What kind of fucking vampire cries for fuck sakes!"

"One who was hurt and abused for no reason? A vampire who's means of defense have been taken from him by his primary food source? Or how about a vampire who didn't desrve to be brutalized by seven drunken humans who acted with less caring then most demons I've run up against? Spike, I don't think any less of you. I never would. Not for that."

"You know don't you? How I feel?"

"Yeah. I do. It was never as bad as what happened to you. But every time it happened I prayed that it would be the last time. That he'd get bored with me and leave me alone. Or that he'd die a horible death. Finally I started hoping that I would. Just bleed to death on the floor or something, never happened."

"Fuck, I'm sorry luv. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"S'okay Spike. No one else knows though. My friend Jesse, he knew. He used to make me feel better after, you know, hold me and let me cry on him. I needed that. So do you, and I want to help you."

"What happened to your friend?"

"Darla. She vamped him..... and then I staked him."

"Bloody hell."

"It was an accident, he was in front of me and I was holding a stake. I wasn't going to kill him, just trying to scare him off. Some one ran past and knocked him into me, he fell on the stake. The last thing I saw was the shock on his face... it still haunts me sometimes."

"So, that why you hate vampires so much?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Angel just clinched it you know?"

"How so?"

"I liked Buffy, he liked Buffy. He got Buffy. Then I find out he's a walking corpse, the thing that she's supposed to kill and yet he still gets Buffy. Then they get groiny and 'hello Angelus' but does she stake him? No. He runs around eating people, terrorizing her friends and trying to kill her. Still no slayage. Miss Calendar dies, Giles is tortured, the world literally had to be on the verge of being sucked into Hell before she did anything about it. And then she ran away with her tail between her legs. Willow, Oz, Cordelia and me spent the entire summer trying to keep control of the hellmouth. But what really brassed me off about Angel was the way he blamed everything on the demon, as if we were stupid enough to think that his 'soul' was anything more than a conscience. If him and Angelus are so different, two seperate entities, then why does Angel have to be redeemed for sins committed by the demon? He killed Miss Calendar, he tortured Giles and he tormented Buffy and the rest of us. But because his 'soul' was restored he expected us to just forgive and forget. He tries to act like he isn't a vampire when he is, that's why I hate him."

" Nice to see that my Grandsire hasn't fooled everyone with his 'poor me' act."

"Yeah, well, mostly I slay with Buffy because I don't want my friends to be hurt. I know it's not black and white, demon against human. There is alot of grey in between. Not all humans are good, hell I'd say a whole fucking lot of them aren't, and not all demons are bad, and I sooo don't mean Angel either. Buffy has a job to do, she can't afford to be objective. I can."

"Nice to know pet. I may be evil, but I value my friends. If the chip came out tomorrow, you'd have nothing to fear from me."

"Thanks Spike. I apreciate that. I'd help you anyways you know."

"I know."

"You ready to sleep yet?"

"Yeah. I think I'll be alright now."

"You want me to let you go?"

"NO. I mean..."

Xander smiled and gave Spike a reassuring squeeze.

"It's fine. I know, go to sleep."

Part Five

The following morning found Xander and Spike curled around each other once again. Spike was nestled back to chest with Xander's arms around him holding him tightly. To a casual observer they would haved looked like lovers.

Spike woke up when he felt Xander's arms tighten around him, he didn't know where he was at first and was about to pull away when he remembered he was in Xander's bed. He lay still enjoying the warmth that was seeping into him from the body behind him. It felt nice to wake up warm and cozy in a soft bed, in a nice place, with someone who cares holding him. He could feel Xanders erection pressed up against his ass but he was expecting it this time so he didn't panic. He knew Xander was straight, and didn't want him that way. The boy went after anything in a skirt, species be damned.

The problem with being a vampire was you didn't change physically from the time you were turned. William was a virgin in every way when Dru got to him. After he was turned he had bedded her almost exclusively, therefore he had very little experience with males in general. And he had never been fucked before, the only male he had ever had sex with had been Angelus, and he wanted to be fucked. Therefore Spike had always been the one to top. Darla took care of most of Angelus' needs, except that one. It was part of the reason he was made, Drucilla wanted to give her 'Daddy' a prezzie. Angelus enjoyed pain with sex. The more painful the better. The first time 'William' had taken the older vampire he was almost sick afterwards. The blood that poured from Angelus' ass when he pulled out was shocking. He knew that he was bleeding, but had it been a human he had fucked the poor bugger would have died from it. William himself wasn't in great shape either, his penis was so sore and bruised that he wasn't able to bed his sire, or anyone else for an entire week. He learned to accept that part of his place in the 'family' was to keep Angelus properly buggered and therefore had built up a tolerence to it, leaving him able to still shag afterwards.

After being raped repeatedly by those humans, Spike couldn't understand why any man would want a cock up his ass, it hurt! Vampires enjoy pain, but that was excrutiating. How the hell Xander survived it for years he'd never understand. The very thought of someone doing that to the boy made him growl. Which of course woke Xander.

"Spike? You okay?"

"Sorry pet, didn't mean to wake you."

"Mmm, s'okay. What's wrong?"

"Nothin' jus' thinkin' s'all."


"Things best left unsaid."

"Ah, I see. You sleep okay?"

"Not too bad. You?"

"Surprisingly well. Helps having someone here."

"Don't like sleeping alone eh?"

"Nope, got used to having someone to cuddle with."

"Yeah, noticed that. You're a real cuddly one, you are."

"Does it bother you? I can stop. Or at least try to."

"Nah, it's kinda nice. Haven't been held since I was a lad."

"But Dru....?"

"Not much for cuddles, she was into sex and blood, enjoyed the pain mostly. She was what Angelus created."

"That's..... horrible. I couldn't see going a century with out being held. It would make me crazy."

"It's different for vampires mate, no soul remember."

"I'm thinking having a soul is highly over-rated. It was souled beings who did that to you, and to me. Demons haven't cornered the market on badness, humans can be monsters who don't care about anything so why can't a vampire want to be held?"

"Never said I didn't want it, being held that is. Just said it was different is all."

Painfully long pause.

"Um, breakfast?"

"You cooking?"

"Cheese omlettes, home fries, toast and coffee."

"Sounds bloody fantastic."

"Ah you say that now, but wait 'till you taste it."

The rest of the day was spent inside watching sports and playing cards. When the sun set it was off the lastest Scooby meeting to set up for patrol.

That night, patrol went off without a hitch. Xander, Spike and Buffy patrolled together while Willow, Tara and Giles researched the identity of a demon Buffy had run into the night before.

After patrol was over Xander declined the offer of hanging out at the shop with the gang stating that he needed to sleep as he had to work in the morning. Spike offered to see him home, spouting off about how he'd likely get in 'one more decent kill tonight' following after Xander.

Once they got back to Xander's place The two men relaxed back into their private selves, neither one of them needing to keep up appearences in front of each other. Spike found that he was actually relieved to be able to let down his guard, not have to play at being the Big Bad 24/7. It was a good image for him but it was nice to shake it off for a while and let someone know the real him. Even if the real him did have wanker tendencies, like reading books - which he had to wear glasses to do - and listening to classical music. The last one had surprised Xander when he found out.

Xander had headed for the shower after he hung his coat up. He knew he'd be too tired to do it in the morning if Spike had any bad dreams tonight.

Once in the shower, Xander tried to keep his thoughts from drifting to the way it felt to hold Spike in his arms, the softness of the vampires skin over the hardness of his muscles. He tried to ignore the fact that the other man fit so well against him, as if they were jig-saw puzzle pieces. He squeezed his eyes tight against the image of him standing at the foot of the bed wearing nothing but Xander's too big shorts. In the end, Xander had turned the water so cold that his lips were turning blue and he was shivering from head to toe. Unfortunately, it did little for the raging hard-on that refused to go away.

Xander stepped out of the frigid shower and proceeded to dry himself off. He refused to allow himself to think about Spike that way while jerking off. First of all, he was sure that Spike wasn't into guys, and even if he were, what had happened to him was enough to turn him off sex with men for the forseeable future. Just remembering what had happened to Spike was enough to wilt his manhood.

After getting dressed, Xander sauntered out to the livingroom and flopped himself down on the sofa beside Spike. The vampire was watching an episode of the british improv show 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' and drinking a beer. Spike never ceased to amazed him, he was so much more than a bad ass vampire with a cocky attitude. He was an actual person, with real likes and dislikes, with a unique personality that made Xander glad he was getting to know the real man behind the image. During a particularly funny scene on the show Spike had laughed so hard he choked on his beer. Xander thumped him on the back and then as Spike stopped choking, he just rubbed his hand up and down on the vampires back until the coughing had subsided as well.

"Y'all right?"

"Fine, thanks. You'd think at my age, and what with not needing to breath, I wouldn't choke to a second death over a stupid TV show."

"Oh, I don't know, that Ryan Styles is pretty damn funny."

"You watch this?"

"Yeah, this one and the new one."

"They made a new one?"

"Yep. Drew Carey hosts it."

"That fat bloke that looks like Dilbert?"

Xander fell over laughing at the look of befuddlement on the vampires face, that and the fact that he knew who Dilbert was.

"Y-you know who Dilbert is?"

"Hey, I read the funnies you know."

"You know Spike, you're the strangest vampire I've ever met."

"Yeah well considering you don't usually talk to the ones you stake, and the only others I've seen you speak with are the poof and Harmony, I'll take that as a compliment."

"It was meant as one. I gotta work in the morning so I'm going to bed. Make sure you turn off the lights before you join me."

Xander felt the bed dip a short while later as Spike climbed in beside him. Without hesitation he rolled toward the colder body and wrapped himself around it. Spike sighed in contentment.

"You know, I could get used to this. Having a nice warm body wrapped around me."

"Mmm, I was thinking 'personal cooling device' myself. I always get so hot at night."

"Mutually beneficial then eh?"

"Too many big words, sleep now."

"Night pet."


Spike woke in a freezing sweat, he had that dream again. He was in the park, they came after him, they hurt him. Then Xander showed up, only this time he didn't help Spike, he pulled the others off of him but then he took their place, using him, hurting him. He cried out for him to stop. That's when he woke up. Xander was still asleep, still curled protectively around him, as though he could keep him safe just by holding him close.

Spike calmed himself, chanting in his head 'just a dream, Xander would never hurt me' over and over. He looked at the sleeping form of his bed mate, all soft and sleep tousled. He wanted to know who had hurt the boy, he had his suspiscions, but he wanted a name. There were still a few demons who owed him favors. The horrible dream images assulted his mind once again. He shuddered.

"Please Xan, don't ever hurt me like that. I don't think I could take it, not from you."

Xander squeezed Spike closer in response to his voice. Spike felt the human nuzzle into his neck and then the softest of kisses was placed just below his ear. It was nice, comforting and yet somewhat... arrousing. Not the best thing for Spike at that moment. It confused him, to feel aroused by Xander's innocent kiss. A kiss given in his sleep, one that the human wouldn't even remember. Spike calmed down at that thought. Xander wouldn't remember, so it was okay. He kissed the top of Xanders head, much the same way as Xander had kissed his head that first morning.

"Sleep well pet. Pleasant dreams."

Spike eventually drifted back to sleep.

Part Six

When Xander woke for work the next morning he slipped quietly from the bedroom after gathering some clothes. He didn't want to wake Spike, he seemed like he needed the sleep. Although he hadn't been woken by the blond last night, he knew that Spike hadn't slept well. It would take time, lots of time before he would be able to move past this. Xander remembered how lost he was after Jessie had died, before he took that road trip after highschool. He learned alot that summer, and even if he never made it any further than Oxnard he wouldn't change it for anything.

As Xander got ready to leave for work he thought about that distant summer, about stripping at 'The Fabulous Ladies Club' and of meeting Nicky, one of the other dancers. He wished he had kept in touch with him, he'd meant to but slaying and working had occupied so much of his time, and then there was Anya. Maybe it was better this way, Nicky didn't need to be dragged into the world of vampires, demons and slayers. Oh my. Snagging a package of pop-tarts Xander left his apartment for a full day of heavy labor. He loved that his job kept him in such good shape.

Spike slept until almost 4:30 that afternoon. When he woke up he was alone and disoriented. It took him a few minutes to realize that it was Monday and therefore Xander would have left to go to work that morning. Spike got up and stumbled out to the kitchen to heat some blood and make coffee.

After devouring his liquid breakfast, Spike wandered around the apartment looking for something to occupy himself with. Passions was on earlier in the day and he had missed it, and he thought of most daytime TV as trash. He spied a couple photo albulms on the book shelf and pulled them down.

Sitting on the couch, Spike opened one of them and began to look through the pictures. There were alot of pictures of Willow, Xander and another boy, he assumed was Jessie by the 'W,J,&X' written on the back of one of them. Also in there were pictures of the slayer, dogboy and the watcher. There were no pictures at all of Xander's parents, no big surprise. He laughed at the picture of the old highschool, freshly blown-up, chunks of demon-snake flesh everywhere, and in the forefront a wickedly grinning younger Xander. The boy looked truely happy, but then again he'd just helped save the town from an evil demon mayor and got to blow up his school at the same time.

The next book Spike opened had an envelope tucked inside of it that fell out when he picked it up. He set it on the couch beside him and turned back to the book. There were pictures of Xander somewhere away from Sunndale. Spike didn't know where they were taken but it was obvious from the background that the boy was away from home. That and the fact that none of the people in the photos looked at all familiar. There were a few of a nice looking red-haired boy with his arm around Xander, they were both smiling and hamming it up for the camera. As Spike turned the pages he found more recent photos, ones of Xander and Anya before she broke up with him, ones of the whole lot of the Scoobies, some of Buffy and Riley, and there were even some with him in them. Not that vampires showed up on film mind you, but the 'Kiss the Librarian' mug and the box of Wheet-a-bix weren't floating in mid air no matter how much it looked they were. He was surprised that Xander had kept the pictures, seeing as he was the only one 'in' them. Spike was still looking at the pictures when Xander came home.

"Hey pet, good day at work?"

"The usual. Pulled my back earlier this afternoon so I was relagated to paper work the last two hours."


"Hey, my photo albums. I haven't looked at these in a while."

"Sorry pet, got bored didn't figure you'd mind."

"Nope. Nothing too embarrassing in those..."

Xander noticed the envelope sitting on the sofa beside Spike and blushed hard. He hoped that Spike hadn't looked inside it.

Spike noticed Xanders heart rate increase and he could smell the embarrassment and slight arousal rolling off the boy. He looked up and saw that Xanders eyes were fixated on the envelope beside him.

"Ah, the embarrassing stuff must be in here then eh?"

" haven't looked in it?"

"No, why you don't want me to?"

"Um, more like you don't want to see what's in those pictures, or what's NOT in those pictures."

"Xan, pet, that made no bloody sense at all."

Xander picked up the envelope and held it in his fingers. He sat beside Spike and looked at the book in his lap.

"Did you see the pictures from the summer I went away"

"Yeah, lots of piccies of you and some other blokes, mostly some red haired fellow. Why?"

"That was the summer right after highschool. I went on a road trip."

"Really? Where you go to?"

"Not far. My car broke down in the next county, I spent the entire summer in Oxnard."

" I guess."

"Wasn't so bad. Actually it was good, really good."

"Those guys friends then?"

"I met them at work. I took a job to earn enough money to get the car fixed."

"And this is embarrassing how?"

"I worked at a strip club."

" mean to tell me? You're a bloody stripper?"

"Was. Not anymore. Just that summer, and once last year... I needed the extra cash."

"So those are piccies of you in costume then?"

"Some, some not so in costume. And there not all of me."

"Nudies? Of you and your work mates?"

"Just me...and Nicky."


"The red head."

"Your friend."

"My lover."

Spike fell silent and Xander held his breath. He had never told anyone about Nicky before. Buffy would have treated him like a freak, look how well she handled Willow and Tara, and Willow and him just weren't that close anymore. He had come back from Oxnard a different person but within a week of being home he realized his friends would never accept the changes in him so he put on his 'goofy Xander' mask every time he saw them and played the part they expected from him.

Spike was stunned into silence by Xander's revelation. He hadn't expected to hear that the boy had been a stripper let alone that he had a male lover. How could he? After what had been done to him?

"How? I were...hurt before. How could you let someone do that willingly? Or did you do it to him? Did you hurt him? Xander, I'm confused."

"I know. I was too, Nicky was a friend. Things just got more involved than that, when I figured out what was happening I panicked. I never told him about it, the rapes, but he knew. He figured it out I guess it was kinda obvious. He took things slow, showed me that it didn't have to be like that. That it could be good, amazing. I loved him. He taught me how sex with another man is supposed to be. And to answer your question, it was both ways. He took me first, but I took him as well. It was mutual pleasuring. I'm sorry if this is too wierd for you."

"Not wierd, just unexpected. I...I took Angelus. It was partly why I was made. Angelus liked to be fucked, visciously. It was the one thing Darla and Dru couldn't give him."

"Did he ever...?"

"NO! No, he didn't. one ever, that is...until..."

"Oh. I understand. My first time was violent too. I was only ten years old."

"Fuck! Pet, I'm sorry. Who would do that to a child for fucks sake?"

"Monsters Spike. Soul having human monsters."

"Has there been any one else? Besides Nicky?"

"No. After I came home there was Anya. I was happy with her. Besides, the gang would never accept me being bisexual. If I'm not the skirt-chasing zeppo they know and love then they assume I'm possessed. That and I haven't met any other guy that I wanted to have sex with."

"Oh. So you weren't hurt by this Nicky then?"

"No Spike. I wasn't hurt. It isn't supposed to hurt, not with someone who cares about you."


"So...can I see the piccies of you in costume then?"

Xander laughed and opened the envelope. He pulled out all the ones of himself in various get-ups and handed them to Spike. He threatened to dilute his blood with holywater if he told anyone about them. Spike promised to keep it a secret and then looked down at the first photo.

The picture was of Xander in a genie costume, very sheer and not much to it at all. The veil that covered his face couldn't hide the huge smile behind it. Spike chuckled and went on to the next one. This one had Xander dressed like a cop, badge, cuffs, nightstick and all. His shirt was wide open and his pants looked painted on. He was wearing mirrored sunglasses and a thick silver chain. He looked quite nice actually. The image brought forth the feeling of Xanders soft lips on his neck the previous night. Spike shivered and moved on to the next picture.

Xander went into the kitchen and made himself some dinner while Spike looked at the pictures. He wasn't sure if he could be in the same room with Spike right now. Memories of Nicky so close close to the surface, the pictures in the envelope on the coffee table. He was attracted to Spike, and the vampires vulnerabillity, and naivete were only making him want him more. He wanted to be the one to teach Spike that rape and sex were not the same thing, to show him how good it could feel. To help him overcome the painful memories.

Spike had found a few pictures that made him snigger at Xanders expense, the genie, the indian chief, and the fireman coming to mind. The others however, were quite fetching. Aside from the policeman, there were the construction worker - hard hat, very short very tight jean cutoffs tool-belt and workboots, the cowboy - suede chaps, cowboy hat, g-string and a lassoo, and his personal favorite, the biker. Xander in leather was a thing to behold. He was wearing a leather cap, vest, skintight leather shorts and boots. He was beautiful. The fact that Spike found him beautiful was both disturbing and entriguing.

Xander finished cooking dinner - microwave baked potatoes and steak sandwiches - and re-entered the livingroom. Spike was sitting on the sofa still looking at one of the pictures. Xander leaned over to see which one it was. The biker.

"Oh man, I remember that one. The leather was so tight it chafed. Never wore it again after that picture was taken."

"I know that feeling, tight leather looks good but it can be bloody uncomfortable."

"Here, I made dinner. The steak's rare."


The two sat eating dinner and watching TV. After dinner Spike finally asked the question that had been on his mind for the past couple of days.


"Yeah Spike?"

"Was it yer Da?"

"Yeah Spike."

"You want me to...."

"Can't. Chip remember. He may be a monster but technically he's still human."

"I could call in a favor."

"Nah, it's not worth it. I'm past it, he'll get his someday."

"You sure? I could have him turned, you could make it last days, weeks even."

"Tempting. I'll think about it. It was my uncle too, sometimes when they were drunk...they'd both..."

"Fuck pet. How the hell did you survive living in that house?"

"I stayed out of it as much as I could. I was more afraid of the monsters in the house than the ones lurking outside. Next to my father, Angelus didn't scare me at all. There was nothing he could have done beside kill me that I hadn't already been through, and sometimes I wished that he would."

"So that's why you were always putting your life in danger, fighting the bad guys?"

"Yeah. That and I figured if by some chance I was vamped I would likely kill my family before Buffy dusted me. It would be worth it you know. No concience to tell me it was wrong."

The pair fell into a contemplative silence. Xander had just admitted things to Spike that he had never told anyone before. He felt relieved actually. It was nice to talk to someone who understood. Who would have thought that Spike would be the only person Xander felt close enough to confide in. It was strange, yet it made sense in a Hellmouthy way. This demon had shown more compassion than his friends had, had been through a similar experience, and understood the pain and humiliation. Besides, Xander figured it would help Spike to open up about what happened to him if he saw that Xander was willing to share his story first.

After the meal had been eaten Xander took the dishes into the kitchen before heading for the shower. His back was still hurting and the hot water would help.

Spike sat staring at the television. He wasn't watching it however, he was thinking about Xander. About what Xander had told him. Xander had had a male lover. Xander had sex with another man. He had sex with another man and liked it. The entire concept was disturbing. On some level he knew that gay sex wasn't supposed to hurt. Otherwise why would so many men do that. He understood women being together, they were soft and sweet and had gentle touches. Like the witches. But on a strictly emotional level he couldn't get past his own experiences to believe what Xander had told him. That it could be good, that it didn't hurt either partner. Sure he'd always cum when he took his Grandsire, but he was a demon, he was supposed to get off on others pain. The fact that he had never raped anyone in his entire existance did little to assure him of that fact however. If Angelus wasn't enjoying the rough treatment he was getting Spike wouldn't have enjoyed it either. That was one thing Spike was sure about, he always gave his partner what they wanted, what they needed. He was not a selfish lover.

What bothered him the most though was that Xander liked men THAT way, and they were sharing a bed. He knew that Xander would never hurt him that way but he wondered if Xander wanted him like that. Did he want to have sex with him? Would he throw Spike out if he didn't want to? Did this change anything? By the time Xander emerged from the shower Spike had worked himself into a tizzy. He didn't know what to make of this situation now.

Xander walked into the living room, took one look at the distraught vampire sulking on the sofa and mentally kicked himself. He never should have told him about Nicky. He had made things so much worse for Spike. He didn't know how to fix this but he had to try. He sat down beside Spike, not too close though, and waited for Spike to look over.

"I'm sorry."

"For what luv?"

"For telling you about Nicky, for making things wierd between us, for giving you a reason to be scared of me, for making this worse on you? I don't know what your thinking right now, but I know it's my fault. So...sorry."

"That obvious huh? I'm not scared of you Xan, just confused. I thought I had you figured out, you were the comic relief of team-slayer, the fetcher of do-nuts and chaser of women. Then I find out that there is so much more to you. You saved me, killed to protect me, took me in, cleaned me up and made me feel safe. I knew then that there was another side to you, one that noone else knew. I just never thought about you being gay, bisexual, I assumed you were as straight as they come. Now, I can't help but be confused. The way you hold me at night, the gentle you want me?"

Xander was too stunned to answer right away, besides that what could he say? He did want Spike but to tell him that would undermine everything he had done for him He wanted to help him way more than he wanted to fuck him. Finally Xander answered.

"Yes and no, but more no than yes. I won't lie to you Spike, you are very attractive and under different circumstances I probably would now that I'm getting to know the real you. But what happened to you was horrible, and I would never do anything to remind you of that. You are too messed up right now, so no, I don't. I just want to help you, be your friend, your support. If you can handle that I mean."

"So, you don't want to fuck me then?"

"Geez Spike you almost sound disappointed. I won't hurt you, ever. Mind you, if you ever wanted know, I wouldn't turn you away. Just know that the only thing I want from you is friendship, I want to help you, no strings, you don't owe me anything. Okay?"

"Okay. So I can still sleep with you?"

"Of course. I like having a personal cooling device."

That being settled, Spike and Xander sank into their nightly routine. They stopped by the Magic Box before heading out on patrol. The demon that Buffy had seen two nights ago turned out to be something of a problem. It was a Zhurk'thang, they only come out in the open if they are looking for a mate. And they will mate with just about anything that appeals to them. So the slayer and slayerettes split up into two teams, boys and girls. Giles accompanied Spike and Xander as he wanted to get a first hand look at this demon. They didn't have a very detailed account of it and anything he witnessed would be valuable information. Not knowing whether it was male or female both teams were on the lookout in case it decided one of them looked good.

After roaming the streets and cemetaries for the better part of an hour they found it. It was huge, maybe eight feet tall, looked like it weighed at least three hundred pounds, it was orange with green splotches all over it's scaley body and had three horns sticking out of its forehead.

"Hmm, I can see why it stays in hiding."

"Ugly bugger innit it?"

"Fascinating. It seems to be heading this way."

"Uh, G-man? Not good. How do we kill it again?"

"Uh.. the center horn must be removed and then you have to ah, puncture its eyes."

"With the horn?"

"No, anything will do. But you must remove the horn first."

The creature lumbered toward the three men, sniffing the air as it centered in on its prey. It had found it's mate. The other two were of no consequence.

Spike lept out at the demon swinging his fists. He was instantaneously swept into an embrace by the ugly creature. He felt the thing lick the side of his face and he shuddered.

"It seems that it is female and has taken a liking to Spike."

"So I see."

"Oi! Xander, get this bugger off of me!"

Xander grinned, gripped his axe tightly and flew at the creature. He swung the axe down on the creatures arm, it reflexively let go of spike and turned on Xander. Perhaps it's chosen already had a mate? He would have to be dealt with then.

The demon grabbed Xander by the throat and threw him. It then turned back to it's intended mate and wrapped it's arms around him. The vampire squirmed and thrashed in it's embrace, but it was a useless gesture. The Zhurk'thang decided to initiate it's claim on him immediately.

Spike was trapped. He felt the things hand going for his belt and froze up. The memories of the rape springing to mind. At least this thing is female, he thought. Until he felt the large bulge digging into his abdomen. Just what he needed, a homosexual demon that wanted him for a mate. Spike screamed like there was no tomorrow. Because chances were, if this thing had it's way, there wouldn't be. He'd dust himself first.

Xander heard the scream and picked himself up off the ground. He ran back toward Spike and threw himself on the demons back.

"Giles! Axe!"

Giles retrieved the axe from where Xander had dropped it and handed it too him before backing away once again. He watched as Xander hacked at the demons face, finally severing the middle horn. He pulled the stake from his waistband and thrust it into the demons eye. The demon finally released the hollering vampire and stumbled about blindly. Xander struggled for a minute before finally thrusting the now slimy and therefore extremely slippery stake into the things other eye.

With the demon dead, Xander rushed to Spike's side and pulled him into his arms. Spike shook with silent tears as he was still caught up in memories. Xander soothed him until he calmed down. They both realized at the same time that Giles was there, and was watching them intently.

"Hey, G-man. I'm going to take Spike home. I'll catch up with you tomorrow. Be careful."

"Uh...very well then. Until tomorrow."

Xander held Spike close as they made their way back to the apartment. Once inside, Xander helped Spike to the sofa before heading to the kitchen. He pulled out one of the bottles of JD he had purchased the day before. Spike was going to need a drink. He brought that as well as a beer for himself into the living room.

He sat down beside Spike and offered him the bottle. Spike took it, opened it and drank a fourth of the liquid down in one go. He then turned to Xander, collapsed into his arms and cried. Xander held him and did his best to comfort him. It was all he could do.

Part Seven

Eventually Spike cried himself to sleep. Xander carefully picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. He put spike into bed fully clothed except for his boots. He didn't want to give Spike any reason to mistrust him, and undressing him would definately do that. Xander decided to be cautious and remain fully clothed as well. He climbed into bed and gathered the sleeping vampire in his arms before closing his eyes to sleep.

Spike woke up feeling unusually hot, and uncomfortable. He slid out from under Xander's arm and got out of the bed. He felt like a damn fool. He had cried himself to sleep in Xander's arms. He was acting like a bloody girl! Spike growled softly to himself as he wandered out to the livingroom.

He saw the bottle of whiskey still sitting on the table and picked it up. After taking a hefty swallow he reviewed what had happened that evening. He was chosen - apparently - to be a mate for the Zhurk'thang. A *male* Zhurk'thang. He'd panicked, screamed bloody murder, Xander had saved him - sensing a pattern there - killed the demon, held him and then brought him home. Oh yeah, and Rupert had seen the whole thing!

"Soddin' hell! Bloody watcher probly told the rest of 'em he saw me cry like a bleedin' poof! Way to keep up yer image Spike!"

A few more mouthfuls of the whiskey and a cigarette calmed the vampire down and he decided to crawl back into bed with Xander. He found the shorts he had slept in the night before and changed before getting into bed. Xander automatically rolled toward him and wrapped him in his arms.

"You okay Spike?"

"M'fine luv, go back to sleep."

"Okay, can I take my pants off? They're driving me nuts."

"Yeah pet. Get comfy."

Xander kicked and squirmed out of his pants and fell back asleep. Spike lay awake for a while trying to figure out why exactly he felt safe with Xander. And why was Xander being so kind to him, other than shared pain and humiliation. He had to want something from him. No one did nice things for Spike without something in return. The slayer and her watcher kept him fed but they expected him to help kill the bad guys and give up any information he had on the demon of the week. Not that that was so bad, it gave him something to do, something to kill. But what Xander had done for him, was still doing for him, was way bigger than simply keeping him fed. He was taking care of him. Completely. He was buying his blood, had bought whiskey and cigarettes for him. Cooked him dinner, brought him into his home and asked him to stay. He had bathed him, held him, soothed his fears. Killed for him, protected him and even shared his own story, briefly at least. He told him that he didn't want him that way, but that under different circumstances he might. Which meant that at least subconciously he wanted him. Spike wasn't sure how he felt about that. He knew Xander wouldn't make a move on him. He said so. But he also said that if he wanted ....he wouldn't turn him away.

Spike thought about the kiss from last night, the pictures from earlier that day and the conversation that they had had about sex, and how it could be good, amazing. He felt Xander shift in his sleep and he rubbed his hand down the humans warm arm. He had nice skin, soft and smooth. And warm, very warm. Did he want Xander? He wasn't sure. He'd never thought about another man before. He'd always had Dru, and the only man he'd ever wanted was Angelus. And that was expected, he was created to please that man. Spike fell asleep wondering what it would be like to enjoy a mans touch, to enjoy Xander touching him.

Spike was dreaming, he was naked and in bed with a naked Xander. He was kissing Xander and touching him. Xander was touching back, soft, fleeting caresses that left him burning for more contact. He felt warm hands encircle his hard shaft, stroking lightly, not enough to make him cum but just enough to feel good. He felt Xander guide him to his opening and he pushed himself inside. Warmth, he was surrounded by warm living flesh, he didn't remember ever feeling anything this good. He heard his lover moaning his name, begging for more. Spike thrust gently into the welcoming heat of Xanders body. He supported himself on one arm and reached between their bodies to grasp Xanders cock. He stroked it in time to his thrusts. He could feel his orgasm building, he sped up his pace, increasing his rhythem on Xanders cock as well. He came with a furious shout as he felt the hot seed of his lover spill across his hand.

Spike woke up suddenly. He opened his eyes to find it was still dark and he was holding Xander to him tightly. Xander was asleep, thankfully. He must have pulled him into his arms while he was dreaming. He was hard as rock and horny as hell. Where the hell had that dream come from? He'd never had a dream about a man before. Was it just because of what had happened that day? Because he found out Xander was bi? If that was all it was, why did it feel so bloody good to shag him? Did this mean that he was interested in Xander THAT way? Whatever it was it was definately better than what he'd been dreaming about lately. After losening his grip on his bed-mate Spike groaned and tried to go back to sleep. It wasn't easy but eventually he did.

Spike was in a much better mood for the next few days. The nightmares had stopped and Rupert hadn't said a word about what had happened that night to anyone. He hadn't even brought it up to Spike, or Xander as far as he knew. Spike continued to dream about Xander however, and it was starting to become somewhat disturbing. He found himself thinking about Xander during the day, reliving the dream images while he wanked in the shower. It wasn't intentional. He would start off thinking about Dru, or some hot bint he'd seen on the telly, even the Slayer a time or two. In the end though, Xander always snuck back into his thoughts, it was always his name that escaped his lips as he painted the shower wall white.

Xander had been having a strange past couple of days. Spike had been acting wierd, watching him when he thought he wasn't looking, and he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts alot. Giles had demanded an explanation for the night of the Zhurk'thang demon, Xander simply told him that it was personal, that it was between him and Spike and if Spike wanted him to know he would tell him. This was followed by a pointed look that clearly said 'don't ask, you won't like the answer'. Giles had dropped it, at least so far. Xander hadn't been woken by Spike's nightmares in the past couple of days and he hoped it was because Spike was sleeping better. He had been woken last night however because he was being held in an impossibly tight grip by Spike. And Spike was rubbing himself against Xanders ass and moaning in his sleep.

Xander remembered when he was fourteen and he fell asleep on the couch with Willow while watching movies. Her parents were away and him and Jesse had come over to keep her company. He woke up after having an incredibly erotic dream to find himself plastered against his best friend and with a damp patch on his jeans. Willow was nice enough to never mention it, and Jesse had been asleep on the floor in front of the TV. Xander knew how embarrassing that was, so he didn't mention it to Spike. He did wonder if he had turned Willow on as much as Spike had turned him on by doing that. They were old enough now that he could probably ask her, but he wouldn't. Xander decided he would just ride this out and see what Spike did next.

That night after Xander had showered and they had both eaten Spike and Xander went out on patrol.

Things had been pretty quiet in Sunndale the last few nights, so Buffy had felt okay about turning patrol over to Xander and Spike so she could spend some time with Dawn. Xander and Spike did a sweep through the numerous cemetaries in town, skirted the perimeter of the park, checked out the Bronze and then decided to call it a night. Xander didn't even see the massive greyish coloured demon until he felt himself thrown to the ground and heard Spike howl in pain.

Spike heard the demon approach just as it lunged toward Xander, he threw his friend out of the way just in time. Unfortunately, he couldn't get himself out of harms way. The demon impaled him with a four foot long spike that shot out of its forearm. Spike howled in pain and then dropped to the ground as the spike retracted back into the demons arm.

Xander was on his feet in seconds, he reached into the bag for a weapon and came up with an axe. He charged the demon, swinging the axe like a wild man. The demon hurried off, obviously not used to its intended victims fighting back. Xander crouched down beside Spike and examined the wound that went straight through the vampires chest and back.

"Shit. Spike, you okay?"

"Xan..der, poisoned...spike. Wound...needs...cleaned."

"Spike? Spike!"

Spike had passed out, Xander quickly shouldered the weapons bag and then lifted Spike into his arms. All the heavy lifting he did at work was coming in handy. He carried Spike back to his apartment and set him down on the couch. He pulled Spikes' duster and shirt off him and went for the first aid kit. Spike looked bad. He had a strange pinkish glow that seemed to be sreading out from the puncture wounds.

Xander quickly but thoroughly cleaned out the wounds as best as he could. He decided the only way to be 100% sure they were clean was to soak Spike in the bathtub. With that descion made Xander finished undressing Spike and carried his naked, unconcious, vampire roomie into the bathroom. He put spike in the tub, started it filling and then rummaged around under the sink for the antiseptic wash that he had been prescribed the last time he had been seriously injured.

After adding the antiseptic to the bath water, Xander turned off the tap and began sluicing the medicated water over Spikes' inert form. He wished that he knew what to do for Spike. He hoped this was enough, but as the pinkish glow continued to slowly spread over Spikes' body, Xander expected the worst.

He let Spike soak for a good thirty minutes before draining the tub and lifting Spike out. He wrapped the vampire in a towel and then began drying him with another. He put a pair of boxers on Spike and then tucked him into bed. After cleaning up the mess in the livingroom and bathroom, Xander changed and got into bed as well. He pulled Spike into his arms and kissed him very gently on the mouth.

"Thank you for saving me, Spike. I hope you get better."

Spike wished he could say something to let Xander know he was okay, he couldn't though. He was for all intents and purposes paralyzed. This was the least of his problems though, stage one was a paralyzing effect.The next stage was what worried him. The poison was fatal to humans, if Xander had been stabbed by the demon, he would be dead by now. Vampires however were affected differently. It was like an aphrodisiac, or viagra. Vamps would sometimes pay for it, the same way humans took speed, or snorted cocaine. It gave a vampire an euphoric feeling, but the lust was uncontrollable. He hoped that the bath, the alcohol, and the antiseptic had washed the greater part of it away, otherwise he may end up doing something he'd regret. Like hurt Xander.

Xander woke a few hours later to the feel of cold hands wandering his body, he was still quite sleepy and addleminded. That was the only reason he could think of for not realizing what was happening. He was enjoying the light caresses, the soft kisses that were being ghosted along the column of his neck, he assumed it was just another dream he was having so let it continue. The hands wandered lower on his body, gently tugging on his boxers. Xander lifted his hips to assist in his undressing and arched his back when he felt Spikes' cool hand grasp his hard cock.


"Xander, so sorry luv, can't help it."

Spike began to stroke Xander, his touches becoming firmer, more insistant. He began grinding his erection into Xanders' hip. He kissed him forcefully and when Xander pulled back with a questioning look on his face Spike began to explain as best as he could.

"The poison, makes vampires crazy with lust. I'm sorry luv, I can't stop myself. You have to stop me Xan, I can't."

"Does..does it hurt? Stopping?"

"Yes, just...being this restrained, trying to stop...hurts."

"Then don't stop, you can... continue. You're in this because of me, you saved me. Let me help you Spike."

Spikes response was to kiss Xander possessively and grind himself harder against him. Spike continued to stroke Xander in time with his thrusts, he continued to rain kisses accross Xanders face and neck. The whole time whispering a litany of apologies and praises.

"Oh luv, so good, need this, need you. So sorry pet, never meant to do this to you. Can't stop, don't wanna stop. Gonna cum Xan, cum with me. Need you, want you, so good. So..."

Spike stopped speaking and froze in exstacy, his head thrown back, a look of rapture on his face. Xander couldn't control himself, he let go and came all over his chest and stomach. Spike slumped down on top of him and shook with silent tears. Xander wrapped his arms around him and held him. He smoothed Spikes hair and made comforting shushing noises to him. Eventually Spike stopped crying and shaking. He pulled out of Xanders embrace and moved to the side of the bed. He sat, back turned to Xander, head in his hands.

"Spike? You okay?"

"I'm, sorry Xander. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't be. Not your fault. No ones fault. You didn't hurt me, why are you sorry?"

"I..I forced myself on you."

"What!?! No you didn't. Spike, I wanted you to. Remember when I told you that if you ever wanted to, I wouldn't turn you down?"

"Yeah, but still..."

"No. No 'but still' you wanted to, hell Spike you NEEDED to. I had a good time, no harm no foul. I'm not angry, not at all. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm not okay Xan, that was just the begining. I...I can feel it starting again. I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"Oh, I understand. only ever...with Angelus. You don't know how to...without it hurting?"

"Yeah. I don't want to hurt you. I should go."

"Go? Go where? Spike, if it gets bad, will you attack someone? Cause I'm thinking that would not be good. You could hurt them, or yourself. I don't want you out wandering the streets like this. Stay."

"But Xan, what if I..."

"I'll take care of you. Trust me?"

"With my unlife pet, always."

"Then stay. Get back into bed, and let me take care of you."

Spike nodded, not trusting himself to speak just then. Xander would take care of him, he trusted him. He lied back on his pillow, tried to calm himself, and let Xander take of him. He almost shredded the mattress when he felt the wet heat of Xanders mouth engulf his aching cock.


"You okay Spike?"

"Fuck, yeah. Don't stop. Please, I...Ineed you."

"Okay, just lie back Spike, let me take care of you."

Spike was in heaven, he couldn't remember ever feeling anything as incredable as Xanders mouth. The heat and suction combined to drive him out of his mind. He wanted to cum but at the same time he never wanted this to stop. He could happily spend an eternity like this, just bordering on orgasm, Xanders hot, wet, talented mouth working him. When Xander took him all the down and swallowed around the head of his cock, Spike arched off the bed and came with an animalistic howl.

Xander swallowed and continued to suck Spike until he was sure he was spent before withdrawing from his softened cock. His own painfully erect cock momentarilly forgotten, Xander crawled back up the bed and lay beside Spike. Spike was just lying there, spread out naked on the bed, a look of contentment plastered accross his face. Xander was sure he'd never seen anything more beautiful, he smiled.

"Spike, you okay?"

"God yes, okay? Okay doesn't begin to describe it."

"It was good then? You feel better?"

"Bloody fantastic! I feel like I died and went to heaven."

Xander chuckled and pulled Spike into his arms. He kissed him very softly on his lips, running his tongue slightly along Spikes bottom lip before ending the kiss.

"I think that's the greatest compliment I've ever been given. Not that there has been many people to experience that particular talent of mine."

"Just me and that Nicky?"


"I'm honored then, thank you Xan."

"You're welcome Spike, go back to sleep."

"Kay, not sure if this is over though, depends on how much poison I absorbed."

"So you might wake up all...."

"Randy as hell? Yeah."

"Wake me up if do, don't leave it until you can't control it okay?"

"Okay. Night Xan. And....thanks again."

"Stop thanking me. It's not like this is a hardship for me. I get to have sweaty naked fun with a gorgeous guy. I ask you, where's the hardship?"

Spike chuckled and drifted into a contented sleep. Xander lay awake for a while, he was still too worked up to sleep. Seeing Spike so deliciously spread across his bed, the sounds of his passion, the feel of his skin, the taste of him still in his mouth. It was torturous. Xander almost hoped Spike did wake him up again. He was in desperate need of release.

Part Eight

Xander woke up to the feel of cool hands rubbing accross his chest. It was a very pleasant feeling, one he could get used to very fast. He only hoped that this....thing....that was happening between them wouldn't ruin the friendship they had formed. He tried to rationalize it as 'friends help each other, right?' but if he were honest, he was interested in more than friendship from Spike. He just didn't want to take advantage of the situation.

"Xan? You awake?"

"Mmm, yeah. Is it starting again?"

"Yeah, it's worse I think. I need.... I need...."


"Yeah. Christ I'm sorry pet. I just, I can't stop."

While this conversation was taking place Spike had rid Xander of his boxers, and was grinding their cocks together. Xander knew when Spike said he needed more that a simple blowjob wasn't going to do it this time. Still, it was a good place to start.

Xander rolled them both over and without wasting time on pleasantries moved down Spike's body and took him in his mouth. He sucked him hard and fast, kneaded his balls as he did so. Spike came quickly and with a fierce howl, but he was hard again almost instantly. Xander took a few seconds to envy him of his recovery time before crawling back up his body and straddling him.

Xander leaned over and reached into his bedside table drawer for the tube of lubricant he kept there. He noticed as Spikes eyes got very large and a panic stricken look crossed his face.

"Shh, it's okay. It's for me. I wouldn't do that to you, I won't hurt you."

"I..I might hurt you."

"Nah, you just lie back, let me do the work. It'll be good, I promise."

"Kay, just...hurry."

Xander could feel Spike begin to shake in pent up need. He quickly prepared himself and then put a generous amount of lube on Spikes' cock. He raised himself up and then began to slowly lower himself down on the vampire.

"Don't thrust. I haven't done this in a while and you move too fast it'll hurt. If I hurt, you hurt."

Spike grit his teeth and tried not to move. He morphed into his demon face and bit into his own arm, the pain taking the edge off just enough to keep him still. He looked up at the man who was slowly sheathing him and gaped in awe. Xander was beautiful, his eyes closed tightly, head thrown back, little panting sounds erupting from him. It was almost enough to make him cum right then and there. Then Xander began to move on him. Up and down, slowly, tortureously slow. Spike growled in both pleasure and frustration. Xander opened his eyes and looked at the face of the man - demon - vampire he was riding.



Xander picked up the pace a fraction. Spike grabbed his hips and began to thrust up toward him.


"Fuck yes!"

Xander grinned and began to slam himself down on Spike. Spike thrashed underneath him, growling and snarling.

"Fuck! Xander, please!"

The desperation behind those words was more than Xander could take. He lay himself down on Spikes chest and rolled them so that Spike was on top and in control. Spike didn't hesitate to take control of the situation. He began furiously pounding into Xander, the heat of Xanders' body driving him closer and closer to the edge. He felt Xander shudder beneath him just before his stomach was coated in hot liquid. Xanders' muscles began to clench around his shaft and he came hard. It was better than any of the dreams he'd had. It was incredible.

Spike flopped down on Xanders' chest as his cock slipped out of his body. Xander wrapped his arms around him and held him. He realized that Spike had fallen asleep on him and he smiled. He was amazed at how good that had felt. He was glad that he was able to help Spike, it was because of him that this had happened in the first place. Spike had saved him after all, and what's a little mind-blowing sex between friends anyways? Only a good way of ruining a friendship.

Xander sighed and held Spike a little tighter. He hoped that if this was the only time this was going to happen, that they could still be friends without this being a problem. He knew however, that he would never be able to forget what had happened this night. The way Spike looked, the feel of him as he pounded him through the bed, the taste of him, and the sounds....the passionate growling noises. It was definately something he would remember for as long as he lived. He had no regrets.

When Spike woke the next morning he was feeling alot better, physically at least. Emotionally? Well he was mess truth be told. He'd had sex with Xander last night. Sure he'd given it some thought over the past few days. Alot of thought if he were truely honest with himself, but he hadn't planned on actually follwing through on any of his shower fantasies or dreams, not this soon at least. The poison had left him in a bad place, he couldn't control himself. He'd have likely shagged the watcher if he'd been handy. Spike shuddered at the thought.

That was true, he had no choice in the matter. He would have shagged anything in order to feel release last night. But the way Xander had been with responsive, so warm, so inviting. It was surreal. He just knew that he'd find a way to fuck up the only real friendship he'd ever had. Xander said he hadn't forced him, but he had. The boy had done it out of a sense of obligation. Spike had saved him from the demon, getting a lust posion in the process, and Xander had felt responsible. It made sense. It was the only thing that made sense. There was no way the boy really wanted him, he was useless, undesirable, and dirty. He was .....beneath him.

Spike slid out of bed and dressed quickly. He new the sun would be up soon and he wanted to be out of the open before hand. He quickly left a note for Xander before heading out into the early morning.

When Xander awoke he was feeling quite good. His whole body was humming in contentment but something was off. He realized it was because he was alone and he wasn't used to waking up alone anymore. He wondered where his....friend? was. He knew things might be a little strange this morning, it was bound to be, but he hadn't expected to wake up alone. Xander pulled a pair of cargo pants on and went in search of Spike, all he found was a hastily scribbled note.


I'm sorry about last night. I never meant to take advantage of you or our friendship that way. I should have tried to warn you, but the first effect of the poison was a paralyzer. I had hoped the bath would have spared me the second effect. You were wonderful, I thank you for doing what you did, even though you felt you had no choice. Again, I'm sorry. I'm going to leave for a while, you shouldn't have to be around me after lastnight. I hope we can still be friends....eventually.


Xander sat down with a heavy sigh. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Sure he had expected some wierdness, maybe some guilt on both sides, but not total abandonment. He was supposed to be curled up in bed cuddling with Spike right now, not sitting at the table reading a note and wondering where his vampire was. Hold up! Where did the possessiveness come from? Spike was not HIS vampire. One night of necesary sex did not give him the right to claim ownership with the vamp.

"Christ this is fucked up!"

Spike managed to get to the sewer entrance before sunrise, he went back to his crypt as he had nowhere else to go. He was glad he had the forsight to occupy a crypt with tunnel access. He flopped down on his bed and tried to sort out how he felt about the previous night. It wasn't easy. He hadn't had any kind of sex with a man since Angelus almost a century ago ...until he had been raped. And now, last night, he had had sex with Xander. The fact that Xander was human just compounded the whole situation. He could understand how Angel lost his soul now, all that warmth.....amazing.

Spike replayed the events in his mind from start to finish, focusing on recalling Xanders reactions to everything. He realized that maybe he had made a mistake in running away that morning. Xander did seem to enjoy himself, and other than the fact that Spike left him hard and without release after the first blow-job, he couldn't think of anything he might have done to hurt Xander.

He did feel bad about what had happened, it should never have been like that. If he had decided to bed Xander, it should have been because they both wanted it, wanted each other. Not because one of them had uncontrolable urges and the other was there. It was unfair to both of them, their first time together would always be less than perfect, about lust instead of love.

Spike shook his head. When did love come into the equasion? I don't love the boy, I like him, he's my friend. He makes me feel safe, takes care of me, keeps my secrets, he's a good man, funny, smart, caring, sexy. He has those big brown eyes that bore right into your soul.....Fuck! He loved him. William the Bloody - Spike - Master vampire, in love with a mortal, a mortal MAN at that.

"Bleedin' 'ell! This is a buggered up mess!"

Part Nine

Xander forced himself to shower and eat before heading out to find Spike. He was pretty sure the vampire had fled back to his crypt, where else was there for him to go after all? He shoved a couple of blood bags into his coat pocket and headed out.

On the walk over to the cemetary, Xander decided to lay things out on the table. He would be honest with Spike, tell him that he had been wanting to do that for some time now, and that even though he knows it won't happen again he doesn't regret it. Hopefully they will be able to work this thing out and remain friends. Besides all that, Spike still needed him, he wasn't ready to face things on his own yet.

Xander hesitated outside Spikes' door, maybe he should wait and see what Spike has to say before he spoke. If there were any chance at all that Spike was interested in him, in a more than just friends capacity he didn't want to blow it by opening his big mouth.

Spike sensed Xander standing outside, he wondered why he wasn't coming in. Xander must still want him around if he came here after him. Maybe he hadn't screwed things up between them. Xander was a guy after all, sex didn't have to mean anything to guys. A shag was just a shag, and he had said he wanted him before all this. Only one way to figure this out, Spike climbed up into the main part of the crypt.

"I know you're out there, Xander. You may as well come in."

Xander pushed the door open and came inside. He gave Spike a lopsided grin. The two men just stood staring at each other for long moments. Finally Xander broke the silence.

"Spike, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why? You didn't do anything."

"Last night. I shouldn't have pushed. You told me to stop you and I didn't. I took advantage of a bad situation and I scared you off."

"No, you didn't take advantage. You acted like a friend, you saw me hurting and did what you had to to make it stop. I wasn't right, for either of us. Not like that."

"I know. I was only trying to help, I hope you know that. I would never do that otherwise, not like that."

"Okay. So we're good then? No more acting like froofy wankers over this?"

Xander grinned and nodded. He pulled out the bloodbags and tossed them to the vampire.

"I figured you ran out without breakfast, so I brought some along."

"Ta mate. I'm bloody starved."

"So....are you coming home? Or are you staying here?"

"Home? This is home for me mate."

"It doesn't have to be, I...I like having you around."

"You asking me to move in?"

"Yeah, I am."

"But what about...."

"Last night has nothing to do with it. I hate being alone, you hate being alone, we're friends right? Why not?"

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. No strings. Just friends."

"Okay. Yeah, 'sides this place has really fallen apart since the last time I was here."

Xander looked around at the crypt that Spike had called home for the past couple years, it didn't look any different to him. Perhaps Spike was just used to living at Xanders now, and that's why this place seemed so bad. Either way, Xander wasn't going to tell him that. He was just glad that Spike was coming home and that he hadn't lost his friend over the events of the previous night.

"We should call Giles and tell about him about the demon, get Buffy out there to kick its' ass so we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Good idea, just leave off the part about me getting scewered eh? Rupert will likely know the results of that."

"Right, don't want to give him anything else to think about."

"Too bloody right! I'm still wondering why he hasn't cornered me about the night of the Zhurk'thang demon."

"Because I told him to drop it, that it was none of his business. He wasn't too happy about it but he hasn't mentioned it since."

Well, that was an interested new developement. Spike never figured that Xander would go up against the watcher for him. The man was like a father to those children, better than a father as far as Xander were concerned. Maybe, just maybe falling for the boy wasn't such a bad mistake after all. He did seem to have Spikes' best interests at heart. And besides that, the demon reminded himself, he was a hell of a good shag.

"So, you wanna hang out here till sunset or you wanna leave now?"

"Hmm, spend the day in a musty old crypt or fry to a crisp? Tough choice luv, but I think I'll avoid the whole sun tan issue."

"Spike, you dork. How did you get here?"

"Tunnels. Right. I'll meet you back at the apartment then?"

"Sounds like a plan. See you there in a bit, we'll come back tonight with the car to get your stuff."


Xander walked back out into the sunlight and Spike headed for the sewer access in the basement of his crypt. He stopped before opening it and looked around the place one last time. He wouldn't miss it. There were no happy memories for him here, no feeling of saftey or security. Nope, his happiness and saftey were directly linked to one dark-haired, well-built, extremely protective, beautiful man. A slayerette no less, could his unlife be any more fucked up? Not likely, but on the hell mouth it was never a good idea to voice questions like that. That was why he only thought them.

Xander walked back to his apartment with a skip in his step and a song in his heart. And for a change the song wasn't country and depressing. Spike was coming back, had agreed to move in with him and was okay about what had happened. Xander hoped that meant he had a chance with the blonde, he was starting to fall for the vampire, and fall hard.

Xander got back to the apartment first and set about remaking the bed. The sheets still smelled of sex and a change was definately in order. By the time Xander finished changing the sheets and making the bed, Spike had arrived. Neither said anything about the events of the night before, Spike headed for the shower and Xander took the bedding to the laudry room to wash it.

When Spike emerged from the shower he wandered into the bedroom and froze. The scent of sex still lingered in the air, it was at once both arrousing and humiliating. As a master vampire, Spike hating not being in control of his faculties. What happened last night was unacceptable to the blonde. Not the sex persay, cause forced or not, it was good, very good. It was the lack of control, the need to surrender to urges that were not of his making. Xander had been very understanding, and the participation had been a good thing, cause Spike doubted that even the chip frying his brain would have been enough to override the urge to mate. It was in a word....scary.

By the time Xander re-entered the apartment Spike was showered, dressed and sipping a mug of blood in front of the TV. Xander had stayed in the laundry room while the sheets washed. He needed the time to put his thoughts in order as well as control his raging libido. Just the knowledge that Spike would be naked, wet, and soapy in the shower was enough to make him flee the apartment until he could gain control of himself. Reguardless of lastnight, Spike had been hurt recently, and hurt badly. He needed to remember that and treat his new roomie accordingly. Spike needed reassurance and friendly contact. Not lust and roaming hands.

"What are you watching?"



"Tactor-pull. Are you deaf?"

"No. Just never figured you for such a red-neck activity."

"Never actually saw one before, wondered what all the fuss was about."


"It's bloody stupid if you ask me! I don't see the point, drag a heavy thing as far as you can and hope no one else can drag it further."

"'Bout sums it up. Wanna change the channel?"

"Sure luv, what to?"

"Crocodile Hunter starts in a minute."

"I like that show, can't wait for the day the crazy bugger gets eaten, great bloody episode that one'll be."

"I doubt they'll air that particular episode, Spike. Death by large reptile isn't exactly network material."

"Yeah but the bootleg videos will make a bloody fortune."

"Oh hey, look. He's doing a special on snakes."

"Mmm, I should feel jealous they can still use their fangs."

Xander didn't how to reply to that remark so he just pretended to be engrossed in the show and Steves' monologue. He had in the past couple weeks come to know the blonde vampire on a level that he doubted any one aside from Dru and perhaps Angel had ever known him. 'Spike' was crass, obnoxious, loud, rude, annoying and just plain mean. 'William' on the other hand was the complete opposite and Xander was almost sure that William made up more of the vampire than Spike did. It was the same for Xander, he had many masks as well. There was the one he wore for his friends - the zeppo, the one he wore for combat - the soldier, and the one he wore for his parents when he had to see them - the dutiful coward. He was more than he appeared to be, so why couldn't Spike be more than what he appeared to be?

Xander already knew that Spikes' bloodlust and rage had been in control of him for most of his existance, but that he'd had to master them over the past couple years. He assumed, before he'd gotten to know the vampire, that as soon as the chip malfunctioned - and it would eventually - that Spike would follow through on his early threats and kill them all. Now, since getting to know him, he wasn't so sure. He knew that he was safe from Spikes' fangs, he'd been told so. But he was pretty sure the others were safe as well. Spike liked to talk a tough game, and was more than capable of killing them if he wanted to, Xander just didn't really think Spike wanted to anymore. They were the closest thing Spike had had to friends for the past two years. If the scoobies were still around when the chip stopped working Spike would likely leave town and leave them alone.

Xander knew he would miss Spike if that were to happen. He genuinely liked the blonde, even if they never became more than friends Xander wanted him to be a part of his life, a part of his future. It was a depressing thought actually, having a future where Spike was not a part of it. He realized that falling might be the wrong term for his feelings for Spike. He wasn't falling, he had already fell. He was in love. With Spike.

Spike noticed Xander space out, he wondered what the other man was thinking about because it certainly wasn't about snakes. Not by the goofy grin on his face, unless there was something utterly wrong about the lad. He assumed he could be thinking about the events of last night, God knew he had run through them a dozen times or so today. Just thinking about it Spike could almost feel Xanders' hot wet mouth sucking him down to the root, his tongue caressing the underside of his cock, the feel of his snug warm channel as he rode him hard and fast.


Spike hadn't realized he'd spoken or that he'd lurched to his feet until Xander looked up at him with a questioning expression.

"Sorry mate, just.... "

Spike growled and left the room. Xander heard the bathroom door close.

"Weird, vamps don't use the bathroom."

Part Ten

Spike stood under the hot spray, hard cock in hand and let his memories overtake him. He knew he'd have no peace at all sitting that close to Xander if he didn't take care of his hard-on first. He brought himself off quickly, moaning Xanders' name with his climax. After quickly washing the evidence of his release from his body, Spike stepped out and toweled off.

"Bloody pillock. He's sure to figure somethings up, already had a shower today!"

Spike got dressed and left the bathroom, he went straight into the kitchen and grabbed some blood from the fridge. He ripped into it and drank it cold. It was disgusting but it satisfied his need for blood and a little bit of violence. He couldn't wait for sundown, the demons were in for a very tough night tonight. Spike had alot of sexual tension and humiliation to work off. Hopefully Xander would agree to patrol with him tonight, he still didn't feel safe out on his own.

When Spike came back into the livingroom Xander wasn't there. He looked around and then saw a note on the coffee table. It said that Xander had gone to pick up chinese food and would be back in a bit. Spike let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and let himself relax. He just needed to get himself under control. Yeah, he could fully admit to himself that he was in love with Xander, had enjoyed shaggin' him immensly, and would like to do so again in the future. But he wasn't so sure he was ready to take that step yet, having a physical relationship. If it hadn't been for the poison he wouldn't have shagged Xander last night, no telling when he would have. The idea of having Xander make love to him scared him shitless. He wasn't ready to be penetrated, not yet and maybe not for a very long time - if ever.

Xander waited until he heard the shower start, he was pretty sure he had figured out what was going on with Spike - if the bulge in his pants was any indication. Knowing that Spike might need a little space and privacy afterwards Xander decided to go out and pick up dinner. There was a good chinese food place close by and Xander knew that Spike really liked the teriyaki chicken and the singapore noodles.

He decided to walk as it was only a block from his apartment, and it was still light out. Besides that, it gave him time to think. The shower was going to be getting alot of use in the next little while. Once he had relized that he was in love with the blonde menace he came to the decision that he would do everything he could to get Spike better, even if that meant trying to find a way to take out his chip. Spike would never feel completely safe while he had it, not knowing that he was defenceless. Xander understood that feeling all to well, he had been defenceless against his father for years.

Surgery wasn't an option. He knew that because of the time that Spike and Harmony kidnapped that doctor. So he could only think of two things, magic or technology. He knew there was a spell somewhere that could be used to take out the chip. Hell, Willow could probably do it with out blinking an eye, not that he'd trust her to - she was too out of control and could accidentally kill Spike. The other option was finding a way to short out the chip. Computers crash all the time, murphy's law governs the fact that the more expensive and complex the equipment, the easier it will fail you.

Having gotten dinner, Xander was headed back home. He decided to try the technological route first, he would pick up some books on computing and repair. They would most likely have a 'Do not' section in them that would give him some ideas. He wouldn't tell Spike about this yet, not until he had a working theory. He didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing.

Spike heard the key turn in the lock and went to the door to help Xander bring in the bags.

"Hey, did you find the note?"

"Yeah. Did you get that chicken thing I like?"

"Yep, got the noodles too."

Xander got dishes and utensils from the cupboard while Spike unpacked the bags. They both used forks as Xander had never mastered the art of chopsticks and Spike refused to eat with a miniature stake. After loading their plates down with food and grabbing a couple beers from the fridge they settled on the couch in front of the TV.

"So Spike, you want to go out and beat up bad guys tonight?"

"Sounds like fun."

"We have to go see G-man first. Fill him in on big, grey and ugly."

"Right. We better do that, don't want a bunch of randy vampires running around the hellmouth."

Xander swallowed hard and tried to force away the image of a certain 'randy vampire' spread out naked accross his bed. It was not easy and his now painfully erect cock wasn't making it any easier.

Spike could smell the sudden arousal pouring off the man beside him. He felt like an ass for bringing that up. Sometimes he just didn't think before he spoke. Although, it was nice to know the boy was still affected by him. Neither spoke after that, they finished their dinner pretending to be engrossed in the television. Xander took their plates to the sink and rinsed them as Spike pulled out stakes and a couple small axes for patrol.

The walk to the Magic Box was slightly tense and uncomfortable. Xander knew he had to do something to change that or this whole living together thing would be unbearable. He took a deep breath and put his hand on Spikes' shoulder to stop him.

"Look, this is ridiculous. We can't be walking around on eggshells with each other. We had sex, there I said it. It happened, I liked it, I don't regret it at all but I know that it won't happen again. It was too soon for you to even think about doing it, and I understand that completely. So can we just relax with each other and try to move past it?"

"Yeah, you're right. It was too soon, and I'm glad you understand that. But I don't exactly regret it either, you did something for me that no one else ever did, and I can't regret that. I won't. But it is pretty stupid to tiptoe around each other innit?"

"Yep. So..what did I do?"

"You took care of me. I was in a bad way and you made me feel better, no ones ever done anything that selfless for me before. It was...nice."

"Right, so we're good? No more acting like a couple of blushing virgins around each other?"

"We're good. Now lets get this trip to the bloody watchers over with so's I can go kill something eh?"

Inside the shop things were getting a bit tense. Spike and Xander had described the demon from last night and as Spike had suspected Giles was very aware of its effects on both humans and more importantly vampires. Giles was already suspiscious of what exactly was going on between Xander and the vampire, and the fact that their story seemed to have a few holes in it wasn't sitting to well with him.

Buffy on the other hand was more concerned about with the fact that a bunch of lust crazed vampires running could do serious damage to the town, not to mention its' residents.

"So your saying that vamps actually pay to be poisoned by these demons? That's just so....eeeeww!"

"Well, not so much now adays, but it was a big bloody thing back in the sixties. All those damned flower children getting turned."

"But you guys are okay? You got away from it?"

"Yep. Fangless here saved me."

Spike and Xander shared a smile over the once hated nickname. They both knew it was just for cover now. Same as when Spike referred to him as 'Whelp'. The others hadn't noticed that the frequency of their verbal spars had lessened or that the insults weren't near as biting as they once were. Giles noticed, but he was a watcher after all. He also was the only one privy to Spikes emotional meltdown the night of the Zhurk'thang demon. He was certain their was something going on between the boy and the vampire, he just wasn't sure what it was or if he even wanted to know. Sometimes ignorance truely was bliss.

Giles filled the group in on the proper technique to kill the demon, and they all headed out for patrol. Buffy, Willow and Tara went one way while Xander and Spike took off in the opposite direction. They were both hoping that they didn't run into the demon again tonight.

When the guys ran into a pack of fledges in the newest of Sunnydales many cemetaries it looked like Spike had gotten his wish. He dove at the one closest to him and began to beat him to a bloody pulp. He staked him and moved on to the next just as Xander had taken out his first vamp as well. What happened next was unexpected.

"Well, hell! I remember you. You're that pretty boy I had such a good time with the night I died."

Spike and Xander turned as one to the voice that they both instantly recognised. Xanders reaction was far better than Spikes. As Xander moved toward the vampire, rage clouding his thoughts, Spike began to tremble in fear. The memories consuming him once again.

"I remember you too boy. Hit me with a pole didn't you? Left me there to die."

Xander spared a glance behind him at Spike and saw that the vamp was not really there.

"Spike! Snap out of it!"

Spike shook his head and looked at Xander.

"He's been turned Spike.....revenge?"

Spike smiled a truely evil grin and strolled toward Xander and the fledge.

"Oh yeah, pet. I can do that."

The fledge was too stupid to realize he was in the presence of a master vampire. Xander saw the other two fledges stop to watch the proceeds. Stupid fledges, Xander walked up behind them and staked them both through the back. As they exploded into ash Xander got a good view of Spike working out his issues. What he did to that minion in the alley was a kiss and a pat on the head compared to what he was doing to the hapless fledge he held in his grasp.

Xander wondered about his earlier decision to deactivate Spike's chip. As he watched the blonde decimate his prey he couldn't help but wonder if he would revert back to the monster in front of him. Then again, Xander had pictured himself doing similar things to both his father and his uncle. He knew the only thing stopping him was his soul, and Spike didn't have that to hold him back. Just because he was taking revenge on one of the monsters who had raped him didn't mean he would give in to his baser instincts all the time.

Spike was having a good time now that he had overcome his initial fear. He was taking back a part of his dignity and pride, piece by piece. He was carving it from the hide - literally - of the vampire on the ground in front of him.

Xander sat back against an old tomb and watched Spike. He knew he was in for a long night when he saw the fledge pass out and Spike stop what he was doing to wait for him to wake up again.

"Xan? You don't have a problem with this do ya pet?"

"Nope. Have fun. After what he did to you, he deserves it."

"This could take a while."

"I've got no place better to be. Why? Did you want some privacy?"

"NO, uh..actually I'd appreciate it if you stayed. Not quite up to being on my own yet luv."

Xander got up and walked over to Spike. He dropped into a crouch in front of him and took his bloodied hands into his own. When Spike looked at him he smiled.

"You'll get there, and until you do, I'm gonna be here. For as long as you need okay?"

Spike swallowed hard and nodded. He wasn't sure he was capable of speach at that moment. He felt Xander squeeze his hands reassuringly before leaning forward and kissing him very softy on the forehead.

"I'll be over there, looks like he's coming around abit."

Xander went back to his spot against the tomb and watched as Spike roused the fledgeling back to conciousness so he could torture him some more. It was going to be a very long night but Spike needed this so Xander stayed.

Part Eleven

About an hour before dawn, Spike finished up with his torture of the fledge and sat down beside Xander. After a few minutes xander put his arm around Spikes' shoulder and pulled him closer. Spike went with out resistance.

"You feel better?"

"Yeah, you think any of the others got turned? Will we run into more of them?"

"I don't know Spike. If we do, you'll take care of them. It'll be fine."

"It wouldn't have been. Not without you here. I panicked."

"That is completely understandable. Don't worry about it, I told you I'd be here as long as you want me. I meant it."

"Thanks pet, we should go. Sunrise soon."

"Yeah, I guess we'll have to come back for your stuff tonight then."

The two got up and headed back to the apartment. Xander ate while Spike showered and then they traded. Boxers donned the two fell into bed exhausted. Xander reached for Spike to pull him into his arms, Spike hesitated only a second before curling into him to sleep for the day. He felt safe here, safe and maybe even loved.

When the dreams came again, Xander was instantly awake and trying to sooth a still sleeping Spike. The vampire was shaking and making this high-pitched keening noise that went straight to Xanders soul. He knew he shouldn't feel this way but dammit he was mad as hell. Spike was HIS. Whether it was right or not, Xander knew how he felt. He loved the vampire and he felt like Spike belonged to him. Maybe it was a residual effect of the hyena possession, but he was feeling protective of his mate. He wished he could go back to that night just so he could beat them some more! That and catch the two that got away!

As Xander held and cuddled his vampire, Spike slowly began to relax again. Xander stayed awake for a while just holding Spike and enjoying the feel of him curled around his body. He knew he was in deep, Anya had never inspired this level of protectiveness in him. Even when she was newly human and everything frightened her. Spike snuggled closer to Xander and he felt a slight rumble in his chest. Spike was purring in his sleep, Xander smiled and allowed the sensation to lull him to sleep.

When Spike woke hours later he felt himself enveloped in warmth. He knew Xander was still sleeping as the mortals breathing and heart rate were slow and steady. He shifted slightly so he could see Xanders face. He looked so serene, peacefull even. Nothing like when he was awake. Then he was always a bit tense, ready for something, anything to jump out at him. Such was life on the hellmouth, at least it was when you were a scooby.

Spike lay his head on Xanders chest and listened to his heart beat. At one time, being this close to it would have stirred his hunger, but now it only made him feel content. He allowed himself to purr quietly - something he wouldn't do if Xander were awake - and bask in the love he felt for this man. He really hoped that he could come to terms with what happened soon. He wanted Xander, wanted to be able to touch the boy, and to be touched by him, he wanted to not be frightened by the idea of having sex with him. Spike picked up the slight elevation in Xanders' heart rate and knew he was waking up. He stopped purring and lightly rubbed his hand accross Xanders' chest instead.

"Mmm, that feels nice."

"Morning pet. Sleep well?"

"Okay, but s'not mornin'"

"Well it is for vampires, luv."

"M'not a vampire."

"No, you're much too warm for that. I like you better this way."

"Uh huh. We staying here all night or you wanna get up and go get your things."

"I'd rather stay here, s'nice and warm here."

Xander hugged Spike a little tighter and dropped a kiss to his temple.

"As nice as this is, and believe me, it's very nice. I need to get up. Bathroom, coffee, food, shower."

"Suppose yer right. I'm a bit peckish meself. Could use a cup of coffee as well."

Xander stumbled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Spike took a minute to appreciate the view before slipping on some sweatpants and heading for the kitchen to start the coffee.

When Xander got out of the bathroom he headed straight for the kitchen, the refridgerator to be specific. He was still clad only in his boxers and was bent over rummaging through the fridge.

"You want eggs and bacon, Spike?"

Spike turned around to answer him and his brain melted out his ears. All he could see was Xanders' tight ass in those clingy shorts, his well muscled back, his biceps flexing as he pulled the afore mentioned food out of the fridge. Spike shook his head and tried to focus on what Xander was saying.


"I said, do you want some eggs and bacon?"

"Oh, sure luv. Sounds good. Coffee's just about ready."

Xander went to the stove and started cooking while Spike heated up his blood. His mind was still on Xander and the fact that he was walking around in nothing but boxer shorts, one flimsy little scrap of material was all that was keeping that nice firm ass covered from view. The thought was making Spike hard. Maybe a shower before breakfast?

Xander was thinking similar thought on Spike. He was still wearing Xanders' clothes around the apartment, sweat pants that barely stayed up, boxers that hung low on his hips, and of course that white tank top that fit like a second skin. This morning however he was just wearing the sweats. Xander had to force himself not to think about Spikes smooth skin, his hard muscles, how he wanted to touch him, taste him, ride him into a second death.

Spike was suddenly hit with the scent of Xanders arousal. He almost moaned out loud at the stirring in his groin it caused. Living here with Xander was going to be the death of him. He wanted him so badly, but he just wasn't ready.

"Uh, Xan? I'm gonna take a quick shower before brekkie."

Xander nodded in response and Spike practically ran for the bathroom. Once he was gone Xander turned and banged his head on the wall several times.

"Stupid. *bang* Idiot. *bang* He. *bang* Could. *bang* Smell. *bang* It. *bang bang bang*"

Spike was standing under the hot spray, one hand bracing himself against the shower wall, the other stroking his hard cock. He needed to do this, otherwise he was going to go back into that kitchen, throw Xander over his shoulder, carry him into the bedroom and shag him stupid. The idea had its merits, mind you but Spike wasn't ready to reciprocate. And until he was he didn't want to start anything with Xander that could lead to the boy not wanting him around anymore. It didn't take long for Spike to cum, he only had to close his eyes and remember the way Xander looked bouncing on his cock, the feel of all that warmth surrounding him, and he was done for. A quick clean up and he got out and dried off.

When Spike came back to the kitchen, thankfully - for Xanders' sake - fully dressed, Xander had just finished piling the food onto plates. He set one down in front of Spike and then sat accross from him to eat his own.

"So, I'm thinking we should probably go get your stuff first thing. Then we'll head over to see if the others found mister big, grey, and ugly. Hopefully they did, then patrol for a while. Sound good?"

"S'fine with me pet. These're real good, what did you put in them?"

"My secret ingredient, I'll never tell and you can't make me!"

"That a challenge luv?"

"Nope, just a heartfelt truth. No one has ever discovered the secret to my scrambled eggs."

"I'll just keep that in mind then. But rest assured luv, you will tell me."

"That sounds like a man with confidence in his methods, if an 1100 year old vengence demon couldn't do it what makes you think you can?"

"I never give up, especially not on a challenge."

Ten minutes later, Spike was flipping around the TV while Xander was in the shower. Spike knew exactly what Xander was doing in the shower, the water didn't mask the scent at all. He came to the conclusion that he was gonna let Xander shower first from now on seeing as he was hard as hell....again. He knew he didn't have time for a quick toss before Xander got out so he tried to take his mind off it by channel surfing. He couldn't wait to get out of the apartment, having a naked, soapy Xander that close, knowing that he was tossing off, hopefully thinking about him, that close was almost killing him. He was sure he was going to pop the buttons on his jeans he was so hard. He'd have to talk to Xan about getting a heavy bag or some weights or something, anything to take out his physical frustrations on.

Part Twelve

It didn't take long to retrieve Spikes' things. He didn't have much, and Xander stopped to wonder why he had never thought about that before. After being around for over a century he'd have thought Spike would have more. Then again, he probably used to just kill for whatever he needed, and now that he couldn't he had no way to get things. Giles and Buffy payed him occasionally for information but most of the time the slayer just beat it out of him. Any cash he did have went on cigarettes and blood. It was no wonder that it took so little time to move him out of the crypt.

Spike looked around at the small pile of things that were his only belongings. It wasn't much, but everything he had held some importance to him. The small woodcarved box held the only things from his human life he treasured. A photo of himself with his mother and younger sister, a pair of wire rimmed glasses and a faded poem. In a metal tin he kept his mementos of his years of the 'Scourge of Europe', there was a lock of Dru's hair, a piece of lace from one of Angelus' shirts and a pearl button from one of Darla's dresses.

His clothes consisted of three pairs of black jeans, four t-shirts, three pairs of socks and two red button downs. Again it wasn't much but with out money to buy stuff or being able able to kill, it was all he had. He shoved these things and some candles into a duffle bag and followed Xander out of the crypt. It was nice to have a real home for a change, and having his stuff there would make it real. He could almost feel at peace with himself, almost.

They dropped Spikes' things and the car back at the apartment before heading for the shop. There was no meeting scheduled for tonight but they wanted to find out if the others had gotten the demon or not. If they hadn't then Spike and Xander would have to be on the lok out for it while patrolling that night.

"Hey G-man! Ladies."

"Do stop calling me that."

"Hey Xan."

Giles rolled his eyes and went back to counting the days reciepts.

" ladies have any luck with big grey and ugly?"

"Yep. I slayed his ass and good!"

"Good, good. So what's on for tonight? And new nasties?"

"Nope. Just your regular hell mouthy things."

Xander looked over at Spike who was lounging on the stairs, affecting a look of complete boredom. Xander couldn't help but smile, his heart skipped a beat when those piercing blue eyes locked on his. He swallowed hard and forced himself to break away.

"Okay, so we going out in teams again?"

"Yeah, you and Spike seem to work well together so you take him. Willow and Tara are with me."

Giles cleared his throught and everyone looked over at him.

"Uh, Xander. Did you and er, Spike slay anything last night on patrol?"

"Yep. Got us a pack of fledges in the Whitmore Cemetary."

"Oh, very good then. Uh, how many?"


"Right then, carry on."

Xander nodded to Spike who stood and followed him to the door.

"We'll check back in tomorrow, let you know how things went tonight. Buffy, I've got my cell phone if you run into anything you need help with. Okay?"

"Sure Xan, I've got mine too, so if you and the big not-so bad need help give me a call."

Spike growled at her and Xander pulled him out the door.

"Soddin' slayer. Big not-so bad, my arse. One good day, that's all I need. I'll show her who's not-so bad."

"Relax Spike. You know that's just the way she is. She sees people the way she wants too, not how they really are. To her I'll always be a zeppo, her do-nut boy. Just as Willow will always be a shy sweet computer nerd. G-man will always be a father figure, no matter that he's in love with her, and deadboy will always be her soul-mate, even though he's moved on. And from what Cordy tells me, he's moved on to a certain ex-watcher who now works for him. Wonder how Buffy would take the news that Angels' soul is permanent and he'd rather shag Wesley than her?"

"Can we tell her luv? Please? I want to see her fly into a rage and go after peaches."

"No, Spike. We can't. I promised Cordy I wouldn't tell. You remember her don't you? I really don't want to end up on her shit list."

"Yer no fun."

"I'm not?"


"Relax Spike. I'm messing with you."

"Right. Lets go kill something eh?"

As spike and Xander made the rounds of thier end of town both were thinking lusty thoughts of the other. Spike had been half hard all night because of Xander tossing off in the shower. Xander was a healthy young man with an active sex drive and a goergeous vampire room mate, what other reason did he need?

The pair of mucus demons that were slinking through the elementary school playgrounds didn't know what hit them when Spike spotted them. One minute all was quiet, and the next....a black and white blur was all over the place hitting, kicking and snarling at them.

Xander opened the weapons bag and drew out a short sword and a small battle axe.

"Sword or axe?"

"Axe, luv."


Xander lobbed the weapon toward Spike who caught it and in one fluid motion brought it down on the head of one of the demons. It cracked its' skull wide open. The second demon went into a rage at the sight of its' mates' opened skull. It attacked spike with an abandon known only to those who no longer fear death, for they have nothing to live for.

The first shot of mucus flew directly over Spikes' head as he anticipated the attack and ducked in time. The second however caught him off guard. It sprayed across his torso, covering him in a sticky green slime.

"Eeewww, snot monster! Gross!"

Xander watched in horror as his love was coated in the disgusted substance. All lusty thoughts that had been running rampant in his head immediately ceased. No one was sexy when they were covered in snot!

"Dammit! Xander! A little help here?"

"Uh, Spike. You're covered in snot."

"That's the point luv, I need some help here before this crap hardens and I can't move?"


Xander, still holding the short sword leapt into the battle. Between the two of them they brought down the second demon in a matter of minutes. Spike stripped off his snot covered shirt and used it to wipe down the weapons before putting them back in the bag.

"We need to go home pet. I need ta shower and get the rest of this crap off of me."

Xander giggled.

"Yeah, cause snot is soo not a look for you!"

Spike scowled at him.

"Shut it Harris! S'not funny!"

This sent Xander into hysterical laughter. Spike continued to scowl at him until finally he hollered.

"What's so bloody funny now!"

" said...(he he) its (he he) snot....funny! (hee heee heeee) You said snot!"

Spike couldn't help the smile that spread accross his face. Sometimes Xander was such a big kid it was infectious.

"Get a move on before I hug ya. Then we'll see how funny you think this is."

Under different circumstances, Spike cuddles would be a welcome addition to his night. But not snot covered Spike cuddles.

"Aack! I going, I'm going! No need to be a meany about it."

"You get covered in goo and see how nice you are."

"Snot Spike, not goo, snot! Get it right."

"Shut. Up."

If Xander snickered the occasional time on the way home Spike ignored it. And if Spike growled a few times Xander ignored it. As soon as they got home Spike headed for the shower.

"Leave your clothes on the floor and I'll come in and get them in a minute, the stuff from last night still needs to be washed as well."

"Thanks luv, you'll want to use extra detergent, that mucus is a bugger to get out."

"Snot a problem."

"Shut up!"

"Sorry Spike. I'll stop now."

"Thanks pet. Now scoot unless you want to get the full monty. I'm in desperate need of a shower."

Xander wanted the full monty. Gods did he want it, but now was not the time so he willed his sudden erection away and turned from the doorway and went into his room.

Spike stripped off and stepped into the shower, he was surrounded by pheremones, his own fault really. He should learn to think before he spoke. Asking Xander if he wanted the 'full monty' was a stupid thing to say. But bugger, he just wanted to be clean!

Part Thirteen

Having slept all day, and being a nocturnal creature to begin with, Spike was in no way tired enough to sleep after his shower. He dressed in yet another pair of Xanders sweats, and lounged on the sofa with a cold beer. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find that Xander had cleared space in the bedroom closet for his clothes and emptied a drawer in the bedside table for him to keep his things in. It was as if he were his lover not just a friend.

Granted they shared a bed, they curled up at night like puppies, and always woke up wrapped around each other. Then of course there was the fact that they had actually shagged already. So technically they were lovers, or at least had been. And then there was the thing about Xanders clothes. Spike didn't know what he'd do if Xander wanted him to stop wearing them now that he had his stuff there. He loved the feel of his too big pants hanging low on his hips, the way they pooled around his feet so he had to roll them up a few times. He liked being enveloped in Xanders scent when he wasn't in his arms. Yeah he was a big ponce, but he loved him so it didn't matter.

Xander had put the clothes through the wash and was now transferring them to the dryer. He inspected them carefully to make sure all the stains had washed out. They looked okay so he started the dryer before heading back upstairs. When he got inside and saw Spike watching television and drinking a beer he had to laugh. He felt like they were married or something. Here he'd gone and picked up Spikes' clothes off the bathroom floor, taken them down to be washed, inspected them to make sure they weren't stained and come back to find him channel surfing and drinking. The worst is that it wasn't the first time it had happened. If anyone had told him that Spike would become such a big part of his life, even a month ago, he'd have laughed his ass off. Now, he was just thankfull to have him here. He just wished he'd put more clothes on. The sight of him in those pants, with no shirt, and still slightly damp from the shower was killing him.

"I'm off to shower Spike, back in a few."

As soon as Spike heard the water start he opened the windows and the apartment door. He could already smell the boys arousal. He needed to air the place out. Spike sat directly in front of the window, eyes closed and jaw clenched. He should have worn a shirt. It was getting a bit chilly in front of the window.

"Aw bugger! I should have put a bloody shirt on! That's probably what started him off this time."

Spike slipped into the bedroom and pulled one of Xanders less colourful shirts on over his head. It was a dark green t-shirt made of the softest cotton he'd ever felt. It was way too big on him but he didn't care. It felt like heaven and it smelled like Xander. He went back out to the livingroom, ignoring the muffled sound of his name on Xanders' lips from in the shower and sat back down in front of the window.

When the shower turned off, Spike closed the apartment door and then shut the windows as well. He could still smell Xanders' release in the air but not nearly as heavy as it would have been. It would have to do so long as the boy didn't come strolling out in just his boxers. Spike wouldn't be held responsible for what he did if that happened.

As fate seemed to be on his side, Xander did not come out in just boxers. He was wearing a matching ensemble to Spike, sweat pants and a t-shirt. Xander grabbed a beer and a bag of pretzels and joined Spike on the sofa.

"Anything good on?"

"Nah, almost 200 channels and not a bloody thing worth watching! Couldn't even find a footie match."

"That's satelite TV for ya, re-runs and spanish television. Wanna watch a movie? We could order pay-per-view."

"Depends, anything decent on?"

"Lets find out."

Twenty minutes later they had decided there was nothing decent on pay-per-view and were therefore going through Xanders' video collection.

"Christ Xan! I can't believe you own this movie!"

"Hey! It was a gift."

"Who the hell bought it for you?"


"Red? Bought you 'Interview with a Vampire'?"

"It was a gag gift."

"I see."

"Besides, I like it. Louise reminds me of Angel. All 'woe is me. I am a vampire, an evil bloodsucking fiend!' I told Buffy that once, she didn't find it ammusing."

"You know, you have a point there. But that Lestat prances around like a bleedin' poof. Not a great image for us undead ya know. And they can't even shag! What's the bloody point of living forever if ya can't even shag? Gah, I'd stake meself!"

Xander had to laugh at the look of outrage on Spikes' face. He had a point, the movie did kinda portray the vamps as poofs. And an eternity without sex would be unthinkable. Although he did often wonder about the mechanics of a being with no circulation achieving an erection. Thoughts about Spike and erections were not a good idea though.

"Okay, so we're in agreement that we don't want to watch Tom Cruise prancing about. How about we watch something not vampire related?"

"Okay, like what?"

"You pick, they're my movies so I'll watch any of them."

Spike spent the next few minutes going through the titles and trying to decide what to watch. Eventually he narrowed it down to three choices. Road House with Patrick Swayze, Soldier with Kurt Russel and Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Which of these do you wanna watch?"

"What ever one you want."

"Just pick one would ya?"

"Alright, Commando."

"I don't wanna watch that one now."

"Fine. Soldier then."

"Mmm, military experiments....I don't think so."

"I guesse that leaves us with Road House then eh?"

"Guess so."

"Give it here, you know if you wanted to watch this one you could have just said so."

"Was more fun the other way."

Spike grinned at Xander and got a playful swat in the head for it. Xander put the movie in, turned off the lights, and sat next to Spike on the sofa.

By the time the movie was halfway through Xander and Spike were curled up on the couch together. Spike was resting back to chest with Xander, his head tucked under Xanders' chin. Xander had his arms wrapped around Spikes' waist, his head resting on the top of Spikes head and one leg draped over his hip. It was comfortable and neither one had any desire to move away from the other.

When the movie ended Xander went to pull away from Spike to eject the tape.


"Don't what?"

"Don't go."

"Not going anywhere, I was just gonna take the movie out."

"No, don't get up. M'comfortable, don't want you to move."


Xander lay back down and pulled Spike a little tighter against his chest. He was quite comfortable himself and had no real desire to move either. He felt Spike lay his hands on top of his and squeeze gently. His chest tightened and he smiled. Damn he loved this vampire.

Spike was content, more so even. He never wanted to move. This was heaven, he felt warm, safe and loved. Xander was holding him, they had curled up on the sofa and watched a movie together like an actual couple, like the witches did. It was nice and he didn't want it to end. He wanted to turn in the embrace and snuggle into Xanders chest. He wanted to kiss the man senseless. He wanted alot of things, but what he had was nice too.

As if reading his mind, Spike felt Xander tug on his shoulder to turn him around. He went without resistance and wrapped his arms around Xander and pulled himself closer to him. He felt Xander begin to trace random patterns on his back with his warm hands. He had one leg wedged between Xanders and could feel the effects this was having on him. He felt the same way. He looked up to find Xander watching him . Xander lowered his head slowly and kissed Spike. It was the barest whisper of a kiss but it set his lips on fire. Xander drew back and looked at him questioningly.

"Was that okay?"

"Yes. Do it again?"

The hopeful tone in Spikes' voice made Xander groan. He kissed him again, slowly, and let Spike choose whether to deepen the kiss or not. He did. There was just the briefest swirling of tongues before Spike pulled back.

"Mmm, that was nice."

"It was, just...."

"What is it Spike?"

"I want this, you, us. Just I'm not ready yet."

Xander tilted Spikes' face up to look him in the eyes.

"As slow as you need. I'm not gonna push you. Okay?"

"Thanks Xan."

"No need to thank me, I want you too, I want us. I'm willing to wait, I understand how you feel."

There were more lingering kisses and soft words spoken between them. They both knew that things had changed between, their relationship was progressing from friendship to something more and they were both glad for the change. When they crawled into bed early that morning, they exchanged kisses before dropping off to sleep. Xander was sure he heard purring just before sleep claimed him.

Part Fourteen

Xander dragged himself out of bed just after one o'clock that afternoon. He had to work the next day and would need to be able to sleep that night so he forced himself to get up and leave the comfortable embrace of his vampire. It wasn't easy. All he wanted to do was stay in bed wrapped around Spike for eternity, maybe kiss him some more as well. But the reality was that he had a job to do and friends to see and books to buy. He hadn't forgotten about his idea to deactivate Spikes' chip.

Xander got dressed, grabbed his wallet and keys and left a note for Spike on the fridge before heading out to the bookstore. He'd grab coffee and a do-nut on the way.

When he got to the bookstore he was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of books on the subject. He wished he had Willows' knowledge of computers, then again he wouldn't be here if he did. The thought that between the magic and her knowledge of computers, Willow had probably been capable of fixing Spike all along made Xander angry. Spike wouldn't have been hurt if he was able to defend himself.

Xander took a few minutes to calm himself and think rationally. If Willow had fried Spikes' chip when he first came to them he would still be an essentially evil blood crazed demon, not the vampire he had fallen in love with. Plus, he wouldn't have had the chance to get to know him and fall for him. Spike had been helping them for over two years now, he'd proven himself time and again to be worthy of their compassion and help. Then again, Angel could have probably gotten him help as well and chose not to. Spike didn't seem to have anyone who cared about him enough to help him. Not until now anyway.

Xander spent a few minutes looking at the books before giving up and going to find an employee of the book store. He left a half hour later with ten different books, ranging from computer repair to 'An Idiots Guide to Electronics' he hadn't read this much in highschool! But if it helped him find a way to fix Spike then it was worth it.

The drive home took less that ten minutes and he was soon standing in his livingroom with an armload of books and nowhere to put them. He didn't want Spike to see them, to figure out what he was up to until he was sure he could do it. There was no point in getting his hopes up was there?

Eventually, Xander decided to store them in the cupboard above the fridge. He never used it anyway. Having done that he went to his bedroom and stood in the doorway watching Spike sleep. He was tempted to undress and lay back down with him. After a few minutes he gave into his temptation.

Xander couldn't remember ever feeling this way for anyone before. Yeah, he'd been in love before, Ampata, Nicky, Anya, but not like this. This was different, more, consuming. He was head over heels in love with a souless demon, a vampire, William the Bloody - Spike, and he'd never been happier. Spike snuggled deeper into him and Xander sighed in contentment. Life was good sometimes.

The next two weeks went by in a blur, Xander and Spikes' relationship still consisted of just kissing and touching - above the waist, patrols had been nothing special, and Xander had worked his way through all the relevant information the books had to offer. He had a plan, and a back up plan. It was now just a matter of testing them out. Hopefully Spike would submit to the tests, he knew how sensetive the vampire was about being experimented on. He just had to wait until the time was right.

It was friday, no work for the next two days and Xander was wondering if he could get away with spending the weekend in bed with his vampire. He didn't like idea of calling Spike his boyfriend. First of all Spike was over a hundred years old - so not a boy, secondly he was so much more than that. Lover, would have been his preference but they weren't yet. To say 'Spike is my lover' sounded so much better - not to mention more mature than 'Spike is my boyfriend' and eventually he would have to tell people. He didn't want to keep his relationship with Spike a secret. He was NOT ashamed of him.

Stepping inside the apartment he was greeted by the sight of a sleep-rumpled Spike bleerily making his way to the kitchen rubbing his eyes like a child. Cute didn't even begin to describe it.

Xander stood by the door and watched as Spike methodically made his way around the kitchen, coffee started, blood in the microwave, hike up the boxers that were hanging too low for decency. It was getting harder and harder to keep his hands above Spikes' waist when they made out. He wanted to take Spike to bed so badly, but he promised patience, so patience it was. He'd never been so clean in his life for all the showers he'd been taking.

Spike looked up and saw Xander watching him, he knew he was there the whole time but was too sleepy and focused on his tasks to really pay attention. It was one of the nice things about living with Xander, he didn't have to be on guard 24/7 he was safe here. Spike loved the way Xander looked after work. He was all sweaty and hot from a long day in the sun, the tight t-shirt and jeans fit him like a glove and the hard hat and tool belt reminded him of the picture he'd seen from Xanders' days as a dancer. Gods he wanted that man. But he told Xander he needed time, and Xander was giving it to him. Maybe too much time though? Spike was ready for a bit more contact than just kissing and touching. He wanted more, but was unsure how to ask for it.

"I'm gonna go shower, can you call for pizza?"

"Sure pet. You want anything else?"

"Nah, just pizza is good. Back in a few."

Spike called in the food order and got dressed while Xander showered. They had to see the scoobies that night for the weekly meeting and then patrol. After that though, Spike planned on getting his hands on his..... Xander. He wasn't sure exactly what they were either. Normally, a vamp who took a human companion would consider them a pet, or a toy. Xander was neither of those things. But what was he then? Surely not his boyfriend, even the word sounded wrong, childish. He was over a century old and a demon, he did not have a boyfriend. He hadn't claimed Xander therefore he was not his mate either. He had shagged him though, so in human terms that made them lovers at least. It sounded better than anything else he could come up with. Lover it was.

By the time the pizza got there Xander was clean and dressed and hungry as hell. He dove into the food while Spike grinned at him in amusement.



"That's not a nothing face, that's a something face."

"I just like watching you eat pet."

"Okay, some wierd vampire thing?"

"Nah, just never seen anyone attack a pizza like it was gonna get away from them before. I thought only vampires had the problem of their meals running away on them."

"Very funny, see me laughing?"

"Sarcasm pet?"

"Yes, now have some pizza and shut up."

Spike laughed, but did as he was told, picking up a slice of pizza and dipping it in his blood before eating it. Xander didn't even make the accompanying eeeww sounds. He'd gotten used to seeing it and it didn't bother him anymore.

After dinner they walked over the shop to meet up with the gang. None of them knew that Spike had moved into Xanders' apartment and they wanted to keep it that way. For now at least, they weren't ready to come out about thier relationship and the reasons behind how it started were no ones buisness but their own. Unfortunately fate had other ideas. As soon as they stepped inside the shop Buffy was in Spikes' face.

"Where the hell have you been? I went to your crypt today and you weren't there, the place was empty."

"I uh, I ... moved."

"Where to? And why didn't you tell us?"

"Maybe cause I'm sick and tired of being walked in on? Maybe because I'd like a little privacy? I need an invitation to enter any of your homes, but you lot just bust into mine with out so much a knock on the door! That answer your questions?"

Xander couldn't help but smile. It was nice to Buffy look chagrinned. Spike was right, they never had any respect for his privacy.

"Well, where are you living now? What if we need information? How can we find you?"

"You can't. I'll keep in touch."

Xander saw Buffy get a calculated look in her eye. He knew trouble was coming.

"What about Dawn? She's been worried about you, you know."

Low blow for the Buffster. She knew how much Dawn meant to Spike. She also knew that he wouldn't keep his whereabouts from her.

"Nice try slayer. Lil' bit knows where I'm staying. Told her, I did."

Xander caught Spikes' eye and he raised an eyebrow in question. Spike gave him a terse nod. Okay, so Dawn knew they were living together, was that all she she knew? Xander made a mental point to ask Spike about that later when they were alone.

Buffy looked furious. Dawn knew Spike had moved and din't say anything! She knew where he was staying and no one else did, except perhaps Xander. She thought about it for a minute and realized that everytime she'd seen Spike in the past month or so he'd been with Xander.

"And I suppose you know where he staying as well Xander?"

Xander swallowed and looked at Spike. Spike shrugged his shoulders and gave Xander a look that clearly said 'your call'. Xander cleared his throat, glanced at Giles who looked as though he'd already figured it out and sighed.

"Yes Buffy, I know where Spike is staying."

Buffy looked at Xander expectantly and when he didn't offer anymore information she practically growled.


"Well what? If Spike didn't tell you what the makes you think I'm going to?"

"Because......I'm the slayer! And I need to know things!"

Spike snorted and Xander bit his lip to keep from commenting on true that statement was.

"Look, Buff if you need to get a hold of Spike just call me or ask Dawn. One of us will the message to him."

"Xander! What the hells the matter with you? Since when do you stick up for Spike?"

"Since now I guess. Every one deserves to have some privacy, Buffy."

"Not demons! Spike has no rights to anything, let alone privacy. We feed him and pay him, therefore we own him."

Xander had had enough, he was accross the room and in Buffys' face before she could blink.

"No. You don't. Think Buffy, when was the last time you paid Spike for information? When was the last time any of you bought blood for him, hmm? You do not own him. No one owns him. And if you speak to him like that again..... well you can just see how good a slayer you are with two less people around to help you. Matter of fact, you can start tonight I'm done."

Xander spun on his heel and headed for the door. He stopped and turned back to look at his oldest friend.

"Wills, I'm sorry about that. I let my temper get the better of me."

"It's okay Xander, I think I understand."

Willow had always told Xander he was a better person than his father and he could learn to control his temper and not lash out at people. She had been his biggest supporter during the worst times of his life. And though she had no idea about the rapes, she knew that Xanders' father had beat him on more than a few occasions. What had just happened with Buffy was the worse he'd let his temper slip - other than that night in the park - in a very long time.

"Spike? I'm leaving, wanna come?"

"Sure pet, why not."

They walked in silence for a couple of blocks before Xander calmed enough to speak. He pulled Spike into an alley and leaned against the wall, eyes closed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what, luv?"

"For letting my temper get the best of me. For acting all possessive of you, I've no right to do that. I meant what I said Spike, no one owns you."

Spike smiled and leaned into Xander wrapping his arms around him.

"Thank you. No one has ever told me I was my own man before. As a human I was what my father told me to be. The only thing I ever did for myself was write. I became an accountant because that's what I was told to be, trained to run the family business. After I was turned, well I belonged to my Sire, she owned me. As did Angelus as her Sire and Darla as his. I've never just been my own before."

Xander hugged Spike to him and lifted his face up. He kissed him softly on the lips and then pushed off the wall.

"You wanna go home? Watch some TV and cuddle on the couch?"

Spike grabbed his arm and began pulling him out of the alley.

"Sounds like a bloody marvelous idea. Lets go."

Part Fifteen

Once they were inside and the door was locked, Spike pulled Xander into his arms and held him. Xander wrapped his arms around Spike and rested his chin on top of the shorter mans head.



"What exactly does Dawn know?"

Spike pulled back and smiled.

"Smart little chit that one is, might have been made from the slayers' blood but she got her brains from someone else."

"So she knows about us?"

"Figured it out, she did. You know I can't lie to her, sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not mad. I don't care who knows, I'm not ashamed of you."

Spike burrowed his head back into Xanders chest. He was so overcome by that last statement. Xander tried to get him to look at him but Spike refused.

"Hey, look at me. You thought I'd be ashamed?"

"Xan. Don't okay, just don't."


"Cause if you keep saying things like that you're make me cry."

"So now isn't a good time to tell you I love you then?"

Spike stiffened in Xanders arms, he couldn't possibly have heard that right. There was no way that Xander just admitted to loving him, Spike, a vampire! It wasn't possible. He didn't have that kind of luck.

"I do, you know. Love you that is. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear it, but I needed to say it."

That time Spike knew he had heard him correctly. He had to stop himself from bouncing around the room and shouting "YES" instead he pressed Xander back against the door and kissed the hell out of him.

When he pulled away Spike had tear tracks running down his face and a sappy grin. Xander looked at him and smiled.

"You okay?"

"M'fine pet. Did you mean that?"

"Every word. Is that okay?"

"Okay!? Okay? It's bleedin wonderful!"

Spike kissed Xander again.

"I love you too, Xander. And I'm not just saying it 'cause you did. I do."

"So, we love each other? That's good right?"


"Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes, definitely. And more."

Xander followed Spike into the livingroom to the couch. It was a boundary they had set early on, no make-out sessions in bed. As Spike pushed him down onto the couch Xander pulled him down on top of him and held him there.

"You sure about this?"

"We don't have to."

"I want to."

"Okay, as far as you want. Only as far as you want."

"Thank you."

"Kiss me?"

Spike growled and dove at Xanders mouth. The kiss was fierce, passionate and possessive. Xander responded enthusiastically. He ran his hands down the length of Spikes' back and grabbed his ass. He pulled Spikes groin in hard contact with his own. Both men moaned appreciatively.

Spike pulled away just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head. When Xander couldn't sit up enough to remove his, Spike tore it down the middle and then went back to kissing him. The feel of Xanders warm skin against his cool skin, his hardness pressed against his own and the taste of him was overriding any thoughts of borders or insecurities. He wanted Xander naked, and now!

"Gods, Xan! Want you, want you so bloody much."

"Have me, take me. Anything. Please. Spike."

Spike grabbed the fastenings of Xanders pants and ripped them open before doing the same to his own. Xander helped to get both their pants down as far as he could before Spike was on him again.

Spike moved like a man possessed, which technically he was. He ground himself against Xander as he licked kissed and sucked his way from Xanders mouth to his throat.

Xander lunged up and met each of Spikes' thrusts. He grabbed Spikes' butt and pulled him tighter against him as he continued to thrust madly against him. He was close, so very close. He felt Spike shift features against his neck, he wanted the bite, REALLY wanted the bite. He knew Spike couldn't, not yet anyway, but when Spike scraped his fangs ever so lightly across his throat, that was it. Xander came with a guttural scream that almost sounded inhuman.

Spike knew Xander was close, hell was close as well. He wanted to bite Xander, wanted to claim him. He knew he couldn't, but he couldn't help shifting to his vampiric visage. He expected Xander to tense up, maybe even panic. But Xander just tilted his head to give him better access. Spike almost came right then. He scraped his fangs lightly across Xanders throat and felt Xander tense. The scream that erupted from his lover had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with passion. Xander came, and Spike followed right after him, howling his completion.

They lay together for some time just basking in the feel of each other. It was almost perfect.

"Spike, we're gonna stick together if we don't clean up."

"Don't care. Comfy."

"You'll care when you try to move and your hair gets tugged. Trust me."

"Fine, bloody mood killer you are."

"You'll thank me later."

Spike shifted off Xander and let him get up. Xander kicked his pants the rest of the way off and wandered off in search of a wet cloth. Spike lay on the couch admiring the view.

When Xander came back he was still naked but had cleaned himself off. He tossed a wet washcloth to spike and went to the kitchen. When he came back Spike was also clean and very much naked as well. Xander sat down beside him and handed him a beer.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. That was good. Very good."

"It was."

"So we can do that again yeah?"

"Oh yeah. There are a lot of things we can do with out actually having sex."



"Show me?"


"No, not now ya pillock. You're human remember, recovery time?"

"I dated Anya remember? Walking talking orgasm machine here, buddy."

Spike raised one eyebrow and leered at Xander.

"Remind me ta thank demon-girl if I ever see her again."

"Yeah, that'll happen. My ex and the love of my life in the same room? Nuh uh!"

Spike laughed and pulled Xander into his arms.

"So you still wanna?"

"Nah pet, save something for later eh?"


They cuddled on the couch, not really watching TV, and enjoying the feel of their naked bodies curled around each other. Xander made sure to put Spike behind him so that there would be no reason to worry about freaking him out. Spike took advantage of his situation by continuously running his hands across the expanse of Xanders chest, pinching at his nipples, and teasing around his bellybutton.

Xander lay there, eyes closed and completely relaxed. He was thoroughly enjoying Spikes' exploration of his body. He only hoped he might explore a little lower, and soon.

Spike was enjoying himself, touching Xander however he pleased. The fact that Xander was just lying there, relaxed and allowing him to do so was a testament of how he felt about him. Spike was sure, had the tables been turned, he'd have pounced on him long before now. He trailed his hand lower and lightly ran a finger up the underside of Xanders' cock. He wasn't surprised to find him hard and leaking.

Xander moaned when he felt the first caress of Spikes' finger tip on his cock. He tilted his head back and sighed when Spikes' cool hand cupped his balls, rolling them gently. He lifted one leg and bent it forward to give Spike access to everything. If his lover wanted to touch him he wasn't going to stop him.

Spike groaned at the trust Xander had given him by opening up to him like that. It was more than he'd ever thought possible. He was hesitant to continue his explorations in that direction but remembering the look of bliss on Xanders' face the night he had shagged him encouraged him to continue. trailing his fingers very lightly, he caressed the skin just behind Xanders' balls. The gasp of pleasure encouraged him and he moved farther back.

Xander had to stop himself from thrusting back on the single questing finger that was tracing his hole. He wanted Spike inside him so badly, but knew he couldn't push. This had to be what for Spike, whatever he wanted, ANYTHING he wanted, Xander would give him.

"This okay luv?"

The husky voice in his ear was such a turn on Xander could barely think let alone answer.

"God yes!"

Spike chuckled.

"You want more?"


Did he sound as desperate as he thought he had? He must have because he felt the cool finger work its' way inside of him. Xander groaned at the sensation of it.

Spike wriggled his finger around until he brushed something that made Xander freeze up.

"Xan? You okay?"

Spike was afraid he'd hurt his love, he went to withdraw his finger when Xander stopped him.

"No, don't stop. Do that again. Please?"

It was the voice that convinced Spike that Xander was enjoying this so he continued. He found the spot he had touched before and did it again. Xander groaned and thrust back against him. Spike grinned, this was obviously feeling pretty good for Xander. He wanted to touch him more so with his other hand he began to stroke Xanders' swollen cock.

Xander was in a state of constant bliss. Spike was stroking his prostate continuously, and now was stroking his cock as well. He knew he was going to cum if he kept this up.

"Gods, Spike. Gonna cum if you keep doing this. Feels so fuckin' good!"

"That's the idea, luv. I wanna watch you cum, see you explode in pleasure. You look so hot, all flush and needy. You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now, how much I want to sheath myself in that hot tight body, make you beg for my touch. Do you want me Xander? Want me to fuck you?"

"Yes, God yes!"

"Too bad, I'm not going to. I'll touch you, but I won't fuck you, not tonight. Gonna make you wait for my cock, Xander. All you get tonight is my hands."

The words, spoken low and roughly in his ear were too much, Xander threw his head back and screamed as he came. Spike watched him hungrily, regretting his decision to make him wait, he was so hard it was starting to hurt.

As soon as Xander recovered from his orgasm, he turned toward Spike and devoured his mouth in a hungry kiss. He could feel Spikes' erection grinding against him. He wanted to taste him again, had been wanting to for weeks now. He kissed his way down Spikes body, shifting him so that he was on his back. When he reached his goal he stopped and looked up into the yellow eyes of his lover.

"Can I?"

Spike merely growled and thrust up toward his mouth in response. Xander was impressed that he had brought Spike to the point of incoherency. He licked the tip of Spike's cock earning himself an appreciative growl from the vampire. He decided not to tease Spike, not tonight when he was already this far gone. So he sucked him in, bobbing his head up and down while massaging his balls with one hand.

Spike dug his hands into Xanders hair and held on to him as his brains were sucked out through his cock. He'd have to learn how to do this, it's fuckin' incredible. When he felt Xanders' warm hand on his sac he knew he was lost. He removed his hands from Xanders' hair, grabbed the sofa cushion underneath him, threw his head back and came with a roar.

Xander swallowed every drop and then licked his lover clean. He looked to see Spike had shifted back. Blue eyes full of love and wonder watched him crawl up towards him and lay across his chest. Spikes' arms came around him and held him tight.

"I love you Xander."

"I love you too Spike."

"Bed now?"

"Gods yes, I'm so exhausted I don't think I can walk."

Xander squealed as he was picked up and carried to bed by his lover. Vampire strength was definitely a plus.

Part Sixteen

Waking up naked with a naked vampire sprawled across his chest was a great way to start any day as far as Xander was concerned. He didn't want to move, let alone get out bed. His bladder on the other hand was a different story.

Sliding slowly and carefully out from underneath Spike, Xander got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. After relieving himself and washing his hands Xander went back to bed. He thought about the night before and smiled. Things were looking up, they had taken their relationship to a physical level, and had confessed their love to one another. If Xander ever had any doubts about zapping Spikes' chip, he didn't now. Today was the day, or rather tonight as Spike couldn't go outside in the day. That decision made, Xander curled up around Spike and hugged him.

"Mornin' luv, sleep well?"

"Mmm, like the dead."

"Oi! That's my line. I sleep like the dead."

Spike got an evil look in his eye and then grinned at Xander.

"You sleep WITH the dead, luv. There's a difference."

"And thanks for that bit of confirmation. Like I didn't know, you don't need to remind me."

Spikes' smile faltered and he thought about what Xander said.

"Xan? You do realize what you're cuddling with don't you?"

"Yes Spike. I do, it's just.....I don't think of you as a corpse, okay? You're a person, er, demon, whatever. I mean you walk, talk, think, sing, the list goes on and on. Corpses don't do those things. So don't go there okay?"

"Alright luv. I'm not a corpse. I'm a vampire. Better?"

"Much. Thank you. I'm not fooling myself here, I know who and what you are, I just don't care. I love you."

"I love you too, pet. So... are we getting up today, or do you wanna stay in bed and teach me how to give a blow-job?"

Xanders' mind abruptly shut down at the thought of Spikes' mouth wrapped around his cock. His response was little more than a squeak.

"So is that a yes then?"

"Y-yes, sure, sounds good. Are you sure?"

"Positive. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. I want to know what you taste like, what your cock feels like sliding into my mouth....."

"Stop! Keep talking like that and it'll be over before you touch me!"

"So you like it when I talk dirty, do ya?"

"What do you think?"

Xander took Spikes' hand and placed it on his stiff cock. Spike gave it a squeeze and leered at Xander.

"I think, maybe I should just see if I can get ya off by just talking? Could be fun."

"Could be, but another time? Please?"

"Okay luv, so where do I start?"

Xander kissed Spike and pulled him down on top of him.

"Just do what feels right, trust me, there's no such thing as a bad blow-job."

"But what if...?"

"No, just read my reactions, you'll know when I'm enjoying something. Start with what you liked and work from there."

Spike nodded and went back to kissing Xander. He really liked kissing this man, he tasted like sunshine and chocolate. He lingered on Xanders' neck for a while, Xander seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. When he got to his lovers nipples he licked each one before drawing one into his mouth and sucking on it. Xander gasped, so he did the same to the other one.

As spike worked his way down Xanders' body he began to feel a bit nervous about what he was doing. Things seemed to be okay, Xander was responding well enough to what he was doing, but a big part of Spike was still influenced by Williams insecurities. Xander seemed to feel his uncertainty and sat up a bit.

"Hey, you don't have to do this you know?"

"I know, I want to. It's just...."

"You want me to show you?"

"Show me?"


Xander moved them around so that they were both on their sides - groin to face with each other - and smiled at the shocked look on Spikes' face.

"Just do what I do, okay?"

"I can do that."

And he did, every stroke, every lick, every touch. It was amazing, the feel of Xanders' hot mouth around his cock, Xanders' hot cock in his mouth, the only tense moment came when Xander fingers brushed across his hole. Xander immediately stopped.

"Shit, sorry Spike. I forgot."

"S'okay, just a bit unexpected. You can, you know, touch me. I trust you."

"You sure?" "Yeah. You seemed to like it a lot last night, I have to admit I'm a bit curious."

"Okay, Just try to relax."


Xander went back to his task, paying attention to when Spike relaxed again before attempting to touch him there. He slid his finger into his mouth along side Spikes' cock making sure it was well lubricated before nudging it against Spikes' opening. Spike faltered slightly but didn't protest, mimicking Xanders actions he followed suit.

Once Xander had worked his finger into Spike he wriggled it around until he found what he was looking for. At the first brush of Xanders' fingers against his prostrate Spike pulled his mouth away from Xanders' cock as his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Holy FUCK!"

Xander let go of Spike as well but continued to rub his finger over his prostate.


"Fuck, yeah. Good. More?"

Xander chuckled and went back to work. He felt Spike take him back into his mouth and increased his suction as he continued to pump his finger in and out of his lover. He knew Spike was close, he just hoped he didn't shift while his cock was still in his mouth.

Spike seemed to sense that and pulled away from Xander as he erupted into orgasm. Xander continued touching and sucking him until he was sure Spike was spent.

Once Spike was back in control he noticed that Xander was still very hard and went back to his lesson, he wanted to give Xander the same pleasure he'd just experienced. He wriggled his finger until he found the spot he remembered from last night and rubbed it over and over while he continued to suck on the cock in his mouth. He could hear words of encouragement from Xander.

"Fuck yes. So good, Gods Spike. I love you so much."

Spike smiled around the cock in his mouth, he increased his efforts and was almost surprised when his mouth filled with warm liquid. He swallowed, tasting Xander in his mouth. It was not unpleasant, salty like blood, just without the coppery taste.

As soon as he let Xanders' cock slip from his mouth he found himself pulled around and kissed fiercely. It was good, very good. Spike could hardly believe he was in bed with Xander Harris having just given him a blow-job. Only on the hell mouth would he find love and security in the arms of a slayers white night.

"So, I take it I passed my first lesson?"

"Mmm hmm. Flying colours."


"With you?"

"Uh, yeah why not."

"Kay, go start the water?"

"Sure pet."

While Spike got the shower started Xander took a minute to get over the fact that Spike had just sucked his cock. He hadn't expected Spike to just ask him to show him how out of the blue like that. Okay, so Spike wasn't exactly shy about asking for what he wanted, he could live with that. He'd survived Anya after all.

Xander stepped into the shower behind Spike and wrapped his arms around him. He kissed him softly on the side of his neck before reaching for the shampoo. Spike watched him with a curious expression that turned to shock as Xander began to massage the shampoo into Spikes' hair.

Spike had never had anyone wash his hair for him before. He'd done it for Drusilla thousands of times, washing her hair, brushing it, braiding it for her, but never had someone done this for him before. It was very pleasant, relaxing. He was startled a bit when Xander directed him under the spray to rinse.

After rinsing out the shampoo, Xander worked some conditioner into Spikes' hair and then reached for the soap. Spike stood by passively and let Xander wash him from head to foot. It felt wonderful, just the feel of his warm soapy hands touching him everywhere, sliding along his skin. Once he was Thoroughly cleaned and rinsed he repeated the process on Xander.

They finished showering just as the water was begining to cool off. They dried off and headed back to the bedroom to dress. Xander threw on a pair of boxers and left to make coffee. Spike paused for a minute before deciding to follow suit.

While Xander made coffee Spike heated his blood.

"So, anything planned for tonight luv?"

"Um, yeah actually."

"Not patrolling with the slayer I hope?"

"No, I'm gonna let her stew a few days before I speak to her again."

"So, what then?"

"It's ah, actually kinda a surprise."

"A surprise? For who?"


"Hate to tell you this luv, but I'm not real fond of surprises. Last surprise I got was a skull splitting headache when I tried to eat yer best friend."

"I know, but will you trust me? Please?"

"Yeah luv, I'll trust you."

"Thanks Spike!"

Xander kissed Spike quickly on the lips. and went to the fridge to get stuff to cook. Spike watched Xander move around the kitchen with a slight smile on his face. It was so easy to make Xander happy, he wondered why his friends never took the time to do it.

"Can you at least give me a hint? Patience isn't exactly my strong suit, ya know."

"Nope, no hints. You'll just have to wait till sunset. You want eggs?"

"Okay, gonna make me leave the kitchen so's I don't discover yer secret?"


"And what'll you give me to leave then?"

"Mmm, Mind numbing orgasms?"

"Right. I'll just be having my coffee in the other room luv. Call me when yer finished."

Xander chuckled as Spike hurried out of the room.

Part Seventeen

Xander and Spike spent the afternoon cuddled on the sofa watching a rugby game - Spikes' idea - and commenting on the buff looking players - Xanders' idea. Dinner was eaten in front of the TV and then it was just a matter of waiting for sunset.

Xander was nervous, he hoped that his idea worked. He had a back-up plan, but it was not only more difficult, it was somewhat dangerous and he didn't want to risk it if he didn't have to. He just wanted it to get dark so he could get this over with, the waiting was killing him.

Spike watched as Xander chewed his thumb nail down to the knuckle practically. Something had his lover upset and he could only assume it had something to do with the surprise Xander had planned for tonight. He hoped that he wasn't the reason Xander was upset, he shouldn't have told him he didn't like surprises. He just wanted it to get dark so he could find out what his surprise was and hopefully Xander would calm down. Patience was not his strong suit.


"Yeah Spike?"

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, What. Is. Wrong. You're acting all skittish, like a virgin on 'er weddin' night."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah that. It have anything to do with that surprise you mentioned?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Are you afraid I won't like it?"

"No. No I know you will, like it that is. It's just.... I've been working on this for a while now and.... it might not work out the way I planned it is all."

"So....yer afraid it won't be perfect?"


"Don't worry pet. If you've put this much effort into it, it has to be perfect."

"Thanks Spike."

"You're welcome luv. And hey, not much longer to wait. It'll be dark soon."

As soon as the sun was low enough for Spike to venture outside they left. Xander insisted on taking the car so they would get there faster. Once they were close to their destination Xander asked Spike to close his eyes.

"This isn't the part where you kiss me and then stab me through with a huge bloody sword is it?"

Xander shook his head.

"No Spike, but I will kiss you if it'll get you to close your eyes."

Xander leaned over and kissed Spike. Spike decided to play along and closed his eyes, even though it was killing him not knowing where Xander was taking him. A part of him wasn't kidding about the sword remark, things were just going too well right now so something had to come along and cock it all up.

As Xander pulled up alongside the entrance to the scrap yard he took a deep calming breath and shut down the engine.

"Don't open your eyes yet. I'm going to help you out of the car and take you where I want you to be first. Okay?"

"Alright pet, but you owe me."

"Don't worry, this'll be worth it."

Xander lead Spike into the scrap yard and over to where the industrial sized magnet was sitting. He had worked here for a couple weeks last year, so he was familiar with how to operate the machine.

"Stand here, take off your coat and strip down to your boxers."

Spikes' head snapped up in the direction of Xanders' voice but he didn't open his eyes.

"What? You want me strip down? Out here? Are ya daft?"

"Trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then take off your clothes. Boots too."

Spike did as he was asked, mumbling about public indecency and how he better not find himself in any of those skin mags he'd seen in Xanders' closet.

Xander watched Spike undress and chuckled at his mumblings. Once Spike was standing in nothing but his shorts, Xander gathered the vampires clothes. He kissed Spike quickly and told him to stand absolutely still. Xander took Spikes' things with him and climbed up into the seat of the crane. He lowered the magnet to just above Spikes' head and then switched it on. He turned up the intensity a little at a time until he heard Spike cry out in pain.

Xander quickly shut down the magnet and flew to Spikes' side. Spike was lying on the ground, in game-face holding his head. Xander pulled him into his arms and tried to soothe him. He figured there would be pain involved but he had hoped it wouldn't be bad.

"Gods, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would hurt this much. Are you okay? Spike? Please say something?"

"Ouch! That bloody hurt ya pillock!"

Spike shifted so that he was sitting in front of Xander with his back pressed against Xanders' chest, his knees were drawn up and his head hung forward into his hands.

"What the hell was that all about then? You bring me out here, strip me down and fry my brain? What the hell for, Xan? And where the hell are we, it looks like a bleedin' junk yard."

"It is."

"Xander, why am I half naked in a junk yard?"

"Because I love you."

"Aw, Christ! You are barmy aren't ya? Why do I always fall for the crazy ones?"

"Spike, I'm not crazy. I love you. I brought you out here to try and help you."

"Help me how?"

"Hit me."




"Yes. Spike, for fuck sake just hit me!"

"Why? What did you do? Besides frying me head that is. And speaking of which. I can't bloody hit you even if I wanted to. Which I don't, even though you just fried my brain. Which must prove that I love you otherwise I'd bloody well belt you, chip be damned!"

This was not working out the way it was supposed to. Spike was supposed to hit him, then he'd know if it worked or not.

"Spike, do you really love me?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"If you really do then prove it. Hit me."

Spike looked at Xander like he was nuts, which he was beginning to seriously consider. He sighed, shrugged his shoulders and turned around.



"Where do I have ta hit you to prove I love you?"

"Oh. Um, shoulder?"

"Right then. Bloody humans."

Spike pulls back and punches Xander in the shoulder. He raises his hands to his head and braces for the inevetable skull shattering pain. When it doesn't come he opens his eyes and sees Xander grinning at him like an idiot.

"Xan? Luv, what did you do?"

"I fried your chip Spike. Surprise!"

Surprise didn't even begin to describe what Spike was feeling. He grabbed Xander and swung him around in circles. He was free! He was a real vampire again! He could defend himself, he could hunt, feed and kill! He could kill. Damn, that could be a problem.

Spike stopped spinning and set Xander down. He needed to know why Xander had done this.


"Why what?"

"Why did you do this? Why give me my bite back? Aren't you afraid I'm going to kill you all now?"

"No. You told me you wouldn't hurt me, I believe you. Killing my friends would hurt me, therefore you won't. As for why I did it? I told you, I know who and what you are Spike, I just don't care. I love you."

"Even if I start feeding on humans again?"

"Even if. But I would like to make a request."

"What would that be?"

"That you don't kill innocent people, maybe just snack on the bad guys?"

"Xander, I love you too. If you asked me to never feed from a human as long as we're together, I'd do it."

"I wouldn't, it would be wrong of me. But can't you feed without killing?"

"Of course! What do you take me for? Some bloody fledge?"

"No, never that. So we're good then?"

"Yeah, we're more than good pet. We're bloody fantastic!"

Part Eighteen

On the drive back Spike figited in his seat. It was all he could do to just stay in the car, he wanted to run around screaming 'I'm free!' at the top of his lungs. He wanted to grab Xander, throw him down and shag the hell out of him, he wanted to see if he really could bite someone. Sitting in the car was a slow torture.

"You okay Spike? You're awfully quiet."

"Fine luv, just a little.....insane."

Xander chuckled.

"Insane? I thought you'd be happy. If it were me I'd be bouncing around in my seat about now."

Spike didn't say anything but he did look a bit embarrassed. Xander started to laugh.

"That's it isn't it? You want to bounce, don't you?"

"Sod off, m'a vampire. We don't bounce."

"But you want to. I can see it, all that pent up energy just waiting to be released. It's killing you isn't it?"

"Bloody, buggerin', Jesus, fucking hell! YES! Okay? I want to bounce. I'm going out of my bleedin' head just sitting here. I want to yell, scream, shag you stupid, I want to test my teeth, kick some ass, find the bloody Initiative and render them to pieces. Mostly I just wanna shag you stupid."

"Well, we have one stop to make, fulfill at least one of your needs, then we can go home and you can shag me stupid for as long as you want. Okay?"

Spike looked at his lover and wondered which of his 'needs' he was referring to. He decided it wasn't important, as long as the shagging came soon. He wanted to show Xander how much he loved and appreciated him. He wanted to prove that he was worthy of this mortals' love for him.

As the car pulled up in front of Xanders' parents house Spike looked over at Xander and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Pet? Why are we here?"

"Test your teeth, kick some ass. My Mom is at her sisters this week, my Dad and my Uncle are most likely inside. I couldn't think of two more deserving people to bear the brunt of years of repressed rage and violence."

Spike got an evil twinkle in his eye, his Xander had just given him permission to exact revenge on his behalf. He was so proud.

"Oh, pet. You have no idea what this means to me. Are you sure though? 'Cause once I step into that house, there's going back."

"I know. Come on."

"You, you're not gonna watch are ya? I mean, it's not going to be pretty."

"No, I mean... I want to make sure that you can really do this, but I'll leave before it gets too.... messy."

"Right then."

Spike practically tore the car door off its' hinges opening it. He was extremely eager to get inside and repay those mortals for everything they had ever done to his love. He stopped on the front step and pulled Xander into his arms. He kissed him, trying to show him how much he loved him, how much he needed him. Xander pulled away after a few minutes and gasped for breath. He smiled at Spike, opened the door and stepped inside.

"Come on in Spike."

As Xander had suspected, his father and his uncle were sitting on the couch watching sports and drinking. How many times in his life had he seen this? How many of his beatings and rapes had started off this way? Too many. And that was why they were here.

Xanders' father heard them come in and looked up in his drunken haze to see who was in his house.

"What the fuck are you doing here boy? Come back so's I could kick your sorry ass?"

"Nope. Came to introduce you to Spike here."

"And who's that? Yer boyfriend? Always knew you were a little faggot. Knew you liked getting it up the ass."

Spike growled and went to step forward. Xander placed his hand on his chest and shook his head.

"Actually, Spike is my lover. And I wanted you to meet the man who's going to kill you."

Xanders' father laughed.

"You hear that Rory? We got us here a couple of little queers who think they're tough. One for each of us. What say we show them what real men can do, eh?"

Xanders' drunken uncle smiled and nodded enthusiasticly.

Xander gave Spike a quick kiss and nodded his head. Spike grinned like the homicidal killer he was and stepped forward.

"So, which one of you tossers thinks he can take me on then?"

True to form, for cowards at least, both men charged Spike at once. Spike threw out a quick punch at the senior Harris and was estaticaly pleased when there was no reaction from his chip. As soon as Spike shifted into game-face both men froze. Xander looked at the shocked expressions on their faces and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that Spike is a demon? My bad. Have fun lover, I'll wait for you in the car."

Xander stepped back outside and walked to his car. He knew that this was wrong, he shouldn't be allowing this to happen. For some reason though, he didn't care. The part of him that still remembered having his innocence torn away from him at the hands of people who were supposed to love and protect him was finally, finally at peace. His inner child was being avenged.

Inside, Spike was having a bloody good time, quite literally. He broke both their legs, tied their hands behind their backs and then drained them both just enough to keep them from struggling. He had to gag the men to keep them from screaming too loud as he castrated them both with a kitchen knife. A rather dull blade too, he had to saw through the flesh. No fast neat slice for them, he made sure they felt every agonizing second of it. Xanders' uncle went first, Spike wanted Harris Sr. to know what was in store for him, to sweat it out a little longer.

Once he had both men bleeding and gagging on their own bloody testicles, Spike moved on to the next part of his plan. walking the short distance to the hall closet he grabbed the broom, pulled off the wooden broom handle and snapped it in two. His captives watched in terror as he stalked toward them, fangs gleaming.

Spike pulled Rory up and flung him over the coffee table before tearing his pants down.

"This what you did to your boy, Mr. Harris? Did you beat before you raped him? Well, take a good look, 'cause yer next."

Xanders' father watched as his wifes' brother was brutally impaled with one half of the broom handle. He could hear Rorys' muffled scream from behind the duct tape that was wrapped around his mouth. He knew Rory was going to die, the blonde demon had shoved a good foot and a half of the broom handle up his brother-in-laws ass. Unfortunately for him, Rory had gotten the rounded end which meant that his fate would be that much worse.

"Like that? Want to know how it feels? What it's like to have something shoved into you so hard that you pass out from the pain? Well, sorry mate, not gonna happen. No, I'm gonna make sure you stay good and awake through the whole thing. Gonna have you begging me to kill ya, to end yer suffering, but you know that I won't don't you?"

Xanders' father nodded at the eraged demon, he had swallowed his own testicles minutes before. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He watched as the demon - vampire he was guessing by the fangs and the biting - lifted Rory from the table and tore into his throat.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to beg and plead but he knew it would be useless. The demon had told him that already. He watched as the vampires eyes closed in satisfaction as he drained the blood from the almost lifeless body in his arms. Then it was over, Rory was dead. His body flung aside like so much garbage, and the vampire was coming toward him. He did scream then, he screamed for all he was worth. This only made the demon smile.

"Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this mate. Gonna do you right proper, I am."

Spike threw the man down on the sofa and tore his pants from him. He lifted his broken legs up and placed one over the back of the couch.

"See, I wanna watch you as You feel what I'm doing to ya. See the terror in yer eyes as I slowly impale you inch by fuckin' inch, until there is no more of this here handle to stick in ya. And I'm gonna make sure it hurts every step of the way. You shouldn't have touched him, he's mine. No one touches what's mine and lives."

Outside, Xander sat in the car, radio playing softly to block out the few muffled screams that he could almost hear, because he knew to listen for them. He'd gotten over the guilt he felt for not feeling guilty. He knew that Spike loved him, and that as a demon he needed to do this to avenge him. It would have been a constant barrier between them, and he could admit to himself that he'd feel alot better knowing it would never happen again. That never again would he have to fear his father and his drunken uncle.

Later, when Spike emerged from the house - big shit eating grin on his face - Xander stepped out of the car to meet him.



"Shag now?"

"Oh, Xander, do you have any idea how badly I want you?"

"Show me?"

Xander was forced back into the car and Spike shoved him accross into the passenger seat. Spike started the car and sped for home, if he didn't get Xander in bed in the next five minutes, he was going to take him right there in the car.

Part Nineteen

Xander sat in the passenger seat of his car, fingers dug into the dashboard as Spike ran stop signs and made illegal turns all the way home. He understood the need to get home, to get inside and get naked, he just wanted to live long enough for it to happen.

Spike drove like a bat out of hell, all that violence and bloodshed had left him hard and wanting. The fact that Xander loved him, so much so, that he had rendered his chip useless and then gave him his sorry excuse for reletives to test his abilities on was overwhelming the vampire. No one, and he really meant no one, had ever done as much for him in his century and then some of exsistance as this man beside him had done in the last month. If there was a heaven for demons, Spike had found it in Xanders' arms.

As they pulled into the parking lot Xander let go of the dash board and took a minute to study Spike as he turned the car off. He was intense, purposeful, walking attitude, sex on legs, big bad Spike. Xander wouldn't have it any other way. Oh yeah, the big bad was back and he was going to be naked and on top of him in minutes, sooner if Xander had any say in the matter.

Spike sat in his seat, hands still clenching the steering wheel, jaw clenched and eye twitching. Xander wanted him badly, he could smell it permeating the little car and it was taking all of his considerable control not to throw him over the seat and take him.

"Spike, we're home."

"So we are, get out and go upstairs luv, give me a mo'?"

"Sure. Are...are you okay?"

"M'fine Xan, just need to get meself under control here before I fuck you right here in the car."

Xander swallowed hard, the image of Spike throwing him down in the back seat and taking him was making him even harder. Spike could smell the increased arousal from the boy and groaned softly.

"Another time love, I promise. But tonight, I want to do things right okay? So upstairs with you, I'll be along in a minute."

"Okay, I love you, Spike."

"I know, luv. You've bloody well proven that. I just wish I knew how to show you how much I love you as well."

"You don't have to, I know."

"Give us a kiss, then off you go."

Xander leaned over and kissed Spike softly before pulling away.

"Five minutes, then I come down here and we do it in the damn car!"

Spike laughed as Xander climbed out of the car. Christ that boy was a special one, and he was all his.

"Alright pet, five minutes. Go on now."

Xander ran up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside he started pulling off his clothes on the way to the bedroom. He pulled the blankets off the bed, grabbed a couple of hand towels and set them on the nightstand, and checked to make sure there was lube in the drawer. Having gotten everything ready, he sat on the bed and waited for Spike.

Spike sat in the car, he contemplated having a quick toss to get himself under control but decided he wanted to cum in Xander, not in the car. He closed his eyes, took a few deep unneccesary breaths and prayed to the powers that be that he wouldn't fuck things up with Xander. He never knew what real love felt like until Xander loved him.

Having calmed down, enough to go upstairs at least, Spike got out of the car and headed up.

Xander was thirty seconds away from putting his pants back on and going downstairs when he heard the front door open. His heart began to speed up in anticipation, his cock swelled painfully and then he was there. Standing in the doorway. Looking at him, devouring him with his eyes. Xander thought he might cum on the spot.

Spike raked his eyes over every inch of the beautiful tanned body that was spread out before him. Oh yeah, he was definately gonna shag him stupid. Spike pulled his t-shirt over his head with trembling hands. He wanted nothing more than to tear his clothes off and sink into all that warm flesh. But he said he wanted to do this right, and that meant slowly, lovingly.

Xander watched as Spike slowly undressed. He breath caught in his throat as the vampire slowly, oh so slowly, unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down. Spike toed off his boots and walked toward the bed.

"Your so beautiful, pet. Want you so bloody much."

"You have me, Spike. All yours. Just get undressed and take me."

Spike growled and his eyes flashed yellow. He watched Xander for any negative reaction. He scented the air for any trace of fear. He found none. Tearing off his remaining clothes he leapt into bed on top of his lover and licked his neck. Xander shuddered, but didn't flinch or pull away. In fact he tilted his head and pulled Spike closer.

Spike sucked the soft skin into his mouth but did not bite down. There would be time for that later, when the boy knew what he was getting into. Spike focussed his attention on kissing Xander, something he'd be content to do for an eternity.

Xander was on the verge of orgasm from just a few kisses and Spike sucking on his neck. He wanted Spike inside him before he came.

"Spike, please. Hurry."

"Want to make it good for you luv, wanna be gentle."

"Not gonna last that long. Now, please?"

The pleading in Xanders voice was Spikes' undoing. He grabbed the lube and coated his fingers, he prepared Xander as carefully as he could before slicking his cock and pushing into his lovers tight warm body.

Xander groaned at the intrusion, it was good. Very,very good. He pulled Spikes' head down and kissed him fiercely. Spike returned the kiss, thrusting his tongue into Xanders' mouth as he thrust his cock into his ass. Spike wasn't going to last long, tonight had been to much. He was over stimulated and his body demanded release. He wrapped one hand around Xanders' cock and fisted him in time with his thrusts.

"Oh..God...Oh Spike! Gonna cum, gonna cum. Ahhhhhhhh."

Xander came in a torrent of pleasure, the feel of his muscles clenching brought Spike to climax right behind him. As they lay together gasping for breath, unneeded on Spikes part, Xander held Spike to his chest and ran his fingers lightly over the vampires' ridges.

Spike started to purr at the feel of the gentle caress. His facial ridges were extremely sensitive and he loved having them petted. Dru was the only one who had ever done it, and only when she was in one of her more lucid states. Which wasn't very often.

Xander both felt and heard the purring, he loved it. It was the most erotic thing ever, the fact that such a fierce creature as Spike could be so content in his arms, in his bed, it made Xander want to touch him every where, to see if he could turn the purr into a growl.

Xander gently rolled them so that Spike underneath him. He looked down at the vampire, his eyes were half open the yellow irises glowed faintly in the dim light. Xander was overcome with his love for this creature in his bed. He leaned down and softly, carefully, pressed his lips to Spikes. He flicked his tongue out and ran it across the full lower lip before trailing kisses up across one sharp cheek bone. He then rubbed his lips against the ridged forehead, then tentatively licked across it. He felt Spike shudder beneath him as the purring increased in both intensity and volume. Xander licked at the scar where Spikes' eyerow would be if he were in human guise, it felt odd, smooth yet rough at the same time. It was a strange but not unpleasant sensation so he did it again.

Spike thought he might cum again just from the feel of Xander licking his ridges. It was extremely pleasurable. When he felt that hot tongue tracing the pattern of his scar he damn near lost it. He knew was purring, something he hadn't planned on doing in front of a human, but he couldn't help it. Besides, it was something, a small something, but still something he could give Xander that no one else was privy to.

Spike was panting, Xander took a moment to wonder about the mechanics of being able to purr and pant at the same time but didn't really care, he continued his gentle exploration of Spikes' features, kissing his way back down to that tempting mouth. He licked at the parted lips, gently biting on the bottom one until Spike gasped with pleasure. Xander took advantage of his open mouth and slipped his tongue inside.

It was different, kissing Spike in gameface, but no less erotic. Actually it was more so, the reminder that his lover was far from human. Xander traced the contours of Spikes mouth with his tongue, licking across his palette, the sides of his mouth, stroking Spikes' tongue with own. Eventually he got around to exploring the most interesting part. Xander traced his tongue lightly across Spikes' fangs, up one side and down the the other. The vampire began to shake as his steady purr began to grow to a deep rumbling sound. Xander smiled against Spikes' mouth, he wrapped his tongue around one of the distended canines and sucked on it. Hard.

Spike growled and began to thrust wildly against the weight of the body on top of him. He couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't hear, all he could sense was the feel of what Xander was doing to him. The pleasure was tearing through him, making him cry out in ecstacy. He thrashed on the mattress, could feel his balls tighten he was so close.

Xander was pleased with his efforts, not only had Spike growled, he'd howled his pleasure at what he was experiencing. Xander wanted to see if he could bring him off just by sucking his teeth, he wrapped his tongue around the other fang and repeated the gesture. Spike arched up off the bed and came with a howl. Xander was stunned, he never knew a vampires' fangs were so sensitive. He rolled them over so they were on their sides, still facing each other and ran soothing hands down Spikes' back as he rained soft kisses all over his face. He felt Spike relax in his arms, in minutes the room was filled with the sound of Spikes' quiet purring as he drifted into a content sleep. Xander wasn't far behind.

Part Twenty

Xander woke in the early morning hours to the feel of cool hands stroking his cock and soft lips ghosting across his neck. It was a hell of a good way to wake up as far as he was concerned. He moaned and arched up into the hand that was caressing him.

"Mornin' luv, sleep well?"

"Mmm, yeah. Woke up better though."

Spike chuckled and continued his slow teasing of Xanders body. After last night Spike wanted - no needed - to show Xander what he meant to him. There was only way he knew of to do that. He was going to let the boy have him, completely.

Xander was enjoying what Spike was doing to him but sensed something was off with his lover. He turned onto his side and looked at Spike. When Spike didn't meet his eyes he sighed and gently removed the vampires' hand from his aching erection.

"What's wrong?"


"Please, Spike. I know something is wrong, talk to me?"

"I just.... I want you."

"You have me."

"I want all of you."

"Okay, confused human here. Elaborate?"

"I want to bite you, claim you. But I don't want to force you."

"Is that all?"

"No, there's more."

"Tell me. Spike, I love you. You can tell me anything."

"I.... Ah hell! I want you to fuck me."


"Xan? You alright? Pet? Luv?"


"That all you have to say?"

Spike leered at Xander and was immediately kissed. Hard.

"I want to, be in you that is. But, are you sure? I'll wait, you know. No rush."

"I want. I'm sure. Xander ..... I need this, I need you to erase the pain, to show me how it should be. Do you understand that luv?"

"Yeah, I do. And I want the other thing too, the bite, the claim. I want to be yours"

It was Spikes' turn to be flustered. He never expected this easy acceptance, not from a slayerette. He was tempted to do it now, before Xander had time to think about it, before he had time to question what he'd agreed to. But he couldn't, not to Xander.

"Luv, do you know what you're agreeing to? What it means to be claimed by a vampire?"

"Uh, hello? Card carrying member of team-slayer here? I read the books, even the ones I wasn't supposed to know about. Hell, I might know more about it that you do."

"Well, seeing as my sire was a few bricks shy, that's a good possibility. You sure?"

"Of course. Spike, you're a vampire, a demon. I knew that before I helped you, before I fell in love with you, I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were, pet."

"My point is, I know what you're asking of me. I know, and I still want it, want you. That convincing enough?"

Spike was overwhelmed, he had been given the only thing he'd ever really wanted. Love. Someone finally loved him, not for what they thought he could be, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. Xander loved him and wanted to be his.

"I believe you. I love you. Now, will you fuck me?"

"Always the romantic, Spike. Must be why I love you eh?"

"Yeah,yeah. On with the shaggin'."

Xander gently pushed Spike onto his back and covered him with his own body.

"Relax? Let me do this for you?"

"Kay, I trust you."

"If... if it gets to be, you know? Just tell me to stop. Okay?"

"I will."

"I mean it Spike, you don't have to do this, you have nothing to prove to me."

"Told you, I want this."


Xander started by kissing Spike, it was one of his favorite things to do. Spike always tasted of whiskey, smoke and blood. It was something that took getting used to, but once you did, it was addicting. Xander was sure he could spend days just kissing Spike. He kissed his mouth, then his jaw, and then the smooth column of his throat. Xander gently bit Spike on the jugular and felt the vampire thrust upward as he hissed his pleasure.

As tempting as it was to stay right where he was and continue to torment Spike by licking, sucking, and biting his throat, Xander had a mission, one he needed to get on with. He kissed his way down the vampires' chest, laving both nipples with his tongue. He teased Spikes' navel, darting his tongue in and out of it. He followed the light trail of hair down to the vampires' weeping cock and took it in his mouth.

Spike shuddered underneath him as he gently swirled his tongue around the underside of his cock head. Xander released the tip and worked his way lower on Spikes' body. He gently lifted Spikes legs, exposing his entrance. He looked up to Spike for conformation, he wouldn't do this if Spike weren't ready. Spike nodded his head and spread his legs further apart. That was all the permission he needed.

Xander ran his hands along the inside of Spikes' thighs, he wrapped one hand around the vampires' erection and then sucked his balls into his mouth. He rolled them around on his tongue as he lightly stroked the cock in his hand. Gently, he released Spikes' sac from his mouth and licked the tender skin beneath it. He could feel Spike trembling in desire, the throaty growling sound Spike was making was incredibly arrousing. Xander licked across Spikes' puckered entrance and felt the vampire freeze up. He stopped.

"You okay?"

"Yeah just... do that again?"

Xander did it a second time and Spike groaned.


"Yeah, keep going."

Xander smiled and went back to his task. He licked at Spikes' entrance for a few minutes, every once in a while nudging his tongue just a fraction inside. He was trying to get the vampire relaxed, he didn't want there to be any discomfort when he entered him.

After a while, Xander was able to get his tongue deep inside Spike. The vampire was lost in sensation, gasping and shaking. Xander knew Spike was close, he stopped what he had been doing and reached for the lube. He was met by angry yellow eyes.

"You stopped."

"Just for a minute, I needed this."

Xander held up the small tube in his hand. Spike looked at it, looked at Xander, nodded his head and lay back down. Xander smiled and went back to his previous position between Spikes' legs. He went back to stretching Spike with his tongue, enjoying the vampires' response to his actions. Spike was thrusting back onto his tongue as he jabbed it into him, he began stroking the vampires' cock again as he switched tongue for fingers.

After working three fingers into the vampires' well lubricated opening, Xander coated his erection and draped himself over his lover. Spike watched him with anticipation, he was more than ready for this. Xander kissed Spike and gently pushed forward.

Spike groaned into the kiss and pushed back, Xanders' cock head slipped in past the tight ring of muscle. They both froze, enjoying the unique sensation of hot and cold. Spikes' eyes flew open and he watched Xanders' face as he began once again to push forward. The boy looked to be in agony because he was moving so slowly. When he was finally, fully embedded in Spikes' body Xander stilled and opened his eyes. He looked into the yellow eyes of his lover and waited for a signal to continue.

"Xander, if you don't move, now, I'm going to bite you."

Xander chuckled and pulled, slowly, out of Spike before thrusting just as slowly back in. Spike started to growl at him so he sped up a bit.

After establishing a pace that suited the vampire, Xander changed his angle slightly so that he nudged Spikes' prostrate. He smiled when the Vampire howled and arched up off the bed. He continued to hit that spot on every thrust until Spike was shaking and growling and biting through his own lips. Xander knew he wouldn't last much longer so he wrapped his hand around Spikes' cock and pulled him in time to his thrusts. Spike came with a roar, his seed shooting up over his chest and landing on his neck and chin. As Xander watched Spike release his seed, he felt his muscles clamp down on his rigid shaft, he came seconds later before collapsing on Spikes' chest.

Spike wrapped his arms around Xander and held on to him. Every nerve in his body was humming with pleasure, he felt alive for the first time in over a century and it was all because of this wonderful man who had made love to him. He knew, without a doubt, that what had just happened was more than just sex, it was more than two people using each others bodies to achieve pleasure. It was love, and he wasn't letting that go, not for anything.

Xander felt himself suddenly rolled over and opened his eyes to see Spike looking down at him, a question in his yellow eyes. Xander smiled, nodded and bared his throat. Spike growled softly, licked his neck and then gently, carefully, plunged his teeth into him.

It was an amazing sensation, like nothing Xander had ever felt. It made him hard again, made him feel things he never thought possible. He felt like he was loved, like he belonged, like he was home. It was everything he ever wanted, and he would never give this up. He felt Spike push his wrist against his mouth, he remembered his was supposed to drink Spikes' blood as well so he bit down hard enough to break the skin and drank the blood that spilled into his mouth.

As Spike withdrew his fangs from his neck, Xander exploded into orgasm. He felt Spike release himself on his stomach as well. Xander fell asleep to the feeling of strong arms around him and a cool tongue licking over the mark on his neck.

Part Twenty-One

WhenXander woke next, it was too the tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

"Mmm, that smells good."

"Want some pet?"


"Of course luv. Back in a jif."

Spike went out to the kitchen and poured Xander a cup of coffee. He had spent the last two hours just holding the boy and watching him sleep. He'd slipped out of bed a few minutes ago and started the coffee maker, figuring that the smell might wake him. As he walked back into the room, coffee in hand, Spike looked at his sleep touselled lover and grinned.

"You know, we really need to work on staying awake after the shagging. I mean, last night I pass out, this morning it's you. We'll never get anything accomplished if one of us is always asleep."

Xander sipped his coffee and shrugged his shoulders.

"Guess we'll have to stop having the sex then huh?"

Spike spluttered.

"Not bloody likely! I just got shagged right proper, an' I plan on having it done on a regular basis. Ta very much."

"So....sleep not a bad thing?"

"So long as it doesn't happen before or during the shaggin' I suppose we'll manage, luv."

Xander smiled and continued to sip at his coffee. He was replaying the last 24 hours in his head, and as much as he had enjoyed being inside his lover, he kept coming back to how he got him off just by sucking his fangs. He wanted to ask him about it but wasn't sure if it was an embarassment for him, like early ejaculation was for human guys.

Spike watched Xander sip his coffee and get lost in thought. He had no problems figuring out what had his lover so engrossed, he could smell the arousal in the air. He knew that Xander was remembering what they had done last night and this morning. The same things he'd been thinking about for the past two hours while watching the boy sleep. It was one of the reasons he wanted to wake him up. He was hard as rock.

Xander couldn't take it anymore, he had to know if Spike had enjoyed it, if he wanted him to do it again.

"Spike? I wanted to ask you about..... last night."

"Last night, luv? What about it?"

"Well, I was curious. About the licking your fangs thing?"

"Liked that part, I did. Never had someone bring me off that way before."

"So, you liked it?"

"Just said I did. Why?"

"Nothing, just thought maybe it was like premature ejaculation or something."

"Prema.... what?"

"You know, when I guy cums way too soon and with hardly any stimulation."

"Oh, that. Nah, me fangs are right sensitive, they are. It was like having a blow-job done to my mouth."

"Wow. Lucky you then. Did you know that would happen?"

"No, like I said Xan, no ones ever done that to me before, never even knew it was possible."

Xander couldn't help the goofy grin he got, he'd just learned that he'd given Spike - a century old master vampire - a new sexual experience. It was enough to make him bounce slightly in the bed. Spike took one look at him and burst out laughing. He kissed him and was just starting to push things a little further when the phone rang. Spike growled as Xander picked it up.

"You've reached Xanders den of debauchery, how can I do you?"

"Xander? Is that you?"

"Hey Wills, what's up?"

"Um, well, CordyhadavisionandAngeliscomingandBuffyreallyneedsoursupportandcanyoucometotheshoptoday?"

"Say again? And breathe please."

"Angel is coming. Cordelia had a vision and they're on their way."

"And this concerns me how?"

"Xander! Buffy needs us. Besides, if this vision is bad we need to help. Can you find Spike?"

"Yes. But I don't know that he'll help."

"Can I talk to him? Xander I know he's there."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I know you, and you can't hide things from me mister! So put your boyfriend on the phone!"

"Gah! Don't call him that!"

"Oh! Was I wrong? Cause It seemed like you guys were.... Was I wrong?"

"No, just I don't like that word. And I doubt Spike would either."

Spike who had been listening to the entire conversation, thanks to vampire hearing, had actually shuddered at the word. He was a bit shocked that the witch had figured things out, seeing as she seemed to so preoccupied lately.

"Give me the phone pet. Hello, Red."

"Spike. Look, lets just get to the point here okay? I know about you and Xander, I don't care as long as he's happy, but I will beat you to death with a shovel if you hurt him."

"Ooookay. Anything else? What's this with the poof comin' to town?"

"Vision, hellmouth, blah blah blah."

"Right, so we all rush in to save the day then? And I should care why?"

"One word, Xander."

"Right. We'll be 'round shortly."

"Thank you, Spike."

"Yeah, yeah. Red? Keep yer gob shut about Xan an' me, got it?"

"Sooo not gonna be the one to tell Buffy! Uh uh, you guys are on your own there!"

"Thanks pet. See ya soon."

Spike hung up the phone and turned back to Xander intent on picking up where he'd left off. However, Xander had other ideas.

"I'm going to shower, we'll take my car to the shop."

"But we were in the middle of something!"

Spike pouted and Xander kissed him.

"It'll have to wait, didn't Wills say Angel was coming? He'll smell it if we do anything won't he?"

"Well yeah, but .... I hate it when you're all logical pet."

When Angel and company arrived, Spike was out in the alley behind the shop having a cigarette, having been yelled at for lighting up inside. Angel stepped inside and immediately locked eyes on Xander, his nostrils flared and he strode angrily towards him.

The scoobies and the LA crew Stood by in shock as Angel lifted Xander from his chair and shook him.

"Where. Is. Spike?"

"Chill deadboy! He's out back having a smoke."

Angel dropped Xander and headed toward the back of the shop. Before he could reach the door he found himself unable to move. Xander looked over at his best friend since childhood - her eyes black with magic - and smiled.

"Thanks Wills."

"No problem, I'll hold him while you get Spike."

Angel began snarling as Xander slipped past him and went outside. The rest of the group seemed to come out of their shock at the same time. Buffy looked from Angel - game faced and snarling - to Willow - black eyed and powerful - and frowned.

"Somebody tell me what the hell is going here!"

Part Twenty-Two

Outside in the back alley Xander watched Spike enjoy his cigarette in peace before disturbing him with the less than pleasant news about Angel.

"Hey, Spike."

"What's 'a matter luv? The magnificent poof and his band of do-gooders arrive?"

"Yep. And let me just say that I missed out on sex this morning for no good reason. It couldn't have been more obvious if we'd just stripped off and shagged right in front of him."

"Oooh, now there's a kink I never thought you'd have, exhibitionism."

"Funny Spike. If Wills hadn't whammied him he'd be out here tossing your sexy ass into the sun right now."

"Red put the mojo on peaches? Knew she was a bit of alright!"

"I think you're missing the point, Spike."

"Nah, I got the point. You think my arse is sexy."

Spike smirked at his lover and flicked the end of his cigarette away. Xander shook his head in mock exasperation before drawing the vampire close and kissing him.

"We need to get inside. They're going to start questioning Willow, and I don't think it would be fair to leave her to deal with this."

"You're right, but one more kiss first, hey?"

Xander tried to keep the kiss on the innocent side, he really did. But Spike, being the evil vampire that he is crushed his lips on his, prying open his mouth with his tongue and delving inside. By the time Spike let Xander up for air both men were hard and rubbing against each other.

"Spike, we can't. We have to go in."

"I know luv, but... you really want to go in there with a hard-on?"

"Uh, no. Probably not a good idea. What did you have in mind?"

"See how well I remember my lesson?"

Spike dropped to his knees, undid Xanders' pants and had his cock out in seconds. He wanted to make it last but knew they had little time before someone came looking for them. With that in mind, he took the entire length in his mouth at once and began sucking.

Xander leaned back against the wall, panting for breath he tried to not thrust too hard into the vampires' mouth. This was only the second time Spike had ever done this, but damn was he a natural! In no time at all Xander was moaning as he came into Spikes' talented mouth.

Spike stood up and tucked Xander back into his pants while kissing him passionately. Xander was returning the favor by undoing Spikes' belt and jeans. Once he had Spike out of his pants he drew away from his lips and dropped to his knees.

Inside the shop all hell was breaking loose. Angel was still being restrained by Willow but now both Wesley and Cordelia were being held as well. Tara shrugged her shoulders and Willow dared anyone else to try anything. Buffy was still waiting for answers and Giles was wiping his glasses furiously.

"Willow! What the hell is going on?"

"Well, Angel was going to do hurtful things to Spike so I stopped him. Then those two (points at Wes and Cordy) tried to come at me so I stopped them too."

"I know that. I meant why was Angel acting all cave-vamp, and what was with the shaking Xander like a rag-doll?"

"Oh, that."

"Yes, that."

"Well, that's for Xander to tell you."

"Fine. Then I'll just go ask him."

Buffy started for the door when Tara stopped her.

"I - I think perhaps you should just wait in here."


"Um, well, b-because Xander ....."

Giles sighed and put his glasses back on.

"Buffy, if you would please sit down. Willow you will release Angel, Wesley and Cordelia at once. Angel, you will calm yourself and sit down or I'll have Willow keep you there indefinately. Understood?"

A chorus of 'yes Giles' resounded from those in question. Willow released her captives who immediately sat as far away from the witch as possible. Angel sat as he was told to but still continued to growl quietly. Buffy fidgeted in her seat, Angels' growling was making her slayer sense all wacky and she still wanted to know what was going on outside between Spike and Xander.

Meanwhile outside Xander had just finished Spike off and was helping to put him away.



"You realize that Angel is probably gonna stake you? Not to mention shake me around some more."

"He shook you?"

"Just a bit, that's probably why Wills went all witchy on him."

Xander looked toward the door and sighed.

"Not looking forward to this pet?"

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. Maybe we should hold off on telling them about your chip."

"Good idea, let them get used to us being together first."

Xander gave Spike one last kiss and then they headed inside to face the inquisition.

As Spike and Xander entered the room Angel jumped up and lunged at Spike. It was only the fact that Willow had anticipated Angels' reaction that kept Spike from getting hurt.

As Xander pulled his lover in behind him, Willow once again froze Angel in place. Giles took his glasses off and began wiping them so that he wouldn't have to look. Buffy walked over and stood between Xander and Angel.

"Okay, I've been patient. I want to know what is going on, and I want to know right now! First - Xander? Why are you protecting Spike? Second - Angel? What the hell is wrong with you? Not that I think attacking Spike is nessecarily a bad thing, but you seem intent on killing him, so what the hell did he do? Well? I'm waiting!"

Angel continued to growl at Spike and now Xander as well. Buffy looked from one to the other waiting for an explanation. Finally Xander stepped forward.

"Buffy, sit down please. We need to talk."

Buffy sat down and crossed her arms over her chest. Xander stepped forward, whispered in Angels ear and then - pulling Spike with him - joined Buffy on the couch.

"Wills, you can let Angel go, he's going to be a good little vampire now. Aren't you deadboy?"

Angel growled but muttered an affermative. Willow looked at Tara who nodded, and then released him.

"Okay, Xander what is this all about?"

"Simple really, Buffy, Spike and I are together."


"Yes, as in living together, sleeping together, together."

Willow and Tara merely smiled at Xander and Spike, offering their support. Giles sighed and wiped furiously at his glasses, he had known, he just didn't want to believe it. Angel began growling again but made no move to attack either man and Wesley and Cordelia just sat in open-mouthed shock. Buffy just shook her head in denial.

"No, it's not true. You aren't gay. You like girls. You hate vampires and Spike in particular."

"Okay, I'm not gay, I am bisexual. Yes I like girls, but I love Spike. I know he's a vampire, but I don't care."

Buffy looked from Spike to Xander and back to Spike.

"You! Outside now. We need to talk."

"Buffy, I won't let you hurt him."

"I'm not going to stake him Xander, I just want to talk to him."

"Spike? You okay with this?"

"Sure luv, not scared of 'er, back in a jif."

Buffy followed Spike out into the alley behind the shop.

"So, what d'ya want then, slayer?"

"One question, Spike. Do you love Xander?"

"None of yer business is it?"

"Answer it!"

"Yes. Okay, I love him. Happy?"

"Yes. You have my blessing."

Spike stared in utter confusion, he had expected an ass-kicking, at the very least a very verbal warning about hurting the boy. He hadn't expected acceptence and approval, not from Buffy.

"Why aren't you threatening to feed me my bollocks?"

"Because I remember."

"Remember what?"

"I remember when you loved me. When Willow cast that spell, I know what you're like when you're in love, Spike. You won't hurt Xander, I know that. And I know that you won't let anyone else hurt him either."

"Thanks Buffy. It'll mean alot to him, not having you against us an' all."

"Spike? Why is Angel acting like a neanderthal?"

"Well, couple reasons I figure, first he's jealous. Second he's angry."


"Angelus always wanted the boy, wanted to turn him. Now Xanders' mine, I claimed him and no matter what Angelus can't have him now."

"But that's Angel? Angel doesn't even like Xander!"

"Don't have to like someone to want ta shag 'em pet. Just the way it is sometimes."

"But Angel's not gay! Is he?"

"Not exactly, he just likes a good coring every now an' then. What do you think I was made fer?"

"You - you and Angel? Eeeww!"

"No, not Angel. Angelus. We're vampires ducks, we'll shag anything you know."

"Can I go home, please? I so don't want to hear any more."

"Sorry pet. Bint had a vision remember?"

Buffy groaned and followed a chuckling Spike back inside. Sometimes, being the slayer just sucked!

Part Twenty-Three

Buffy followed Spike back into the Magic Box. Xander was pacing back and forth and immediately went to the vampires' side as they entered. He leaned in and whispered into Spikes' ear.

"Everything okay?"

Spike grinned and whispered back.

"Fine luv. In fact we have the slayer seal of approval."

Xanders' eyes flew open in shock and he looked over at Buffy.

"Buff? You're okay with this?"

"Yep. No problems here. I'm on board with the Xander dates an evil demon thing. It's the other stuff (glances over at Angel and makes an eeww face) that I'm not so sure about."

Angel glared at Spike and then at Xander.

"You had no right! What I do and with whom is none of your business!"

Xander looked at Spike and raised an eyebrow. Spike shrugged his shoulders in a 'I have no idea what he's goin' on about' look. Buffy just looked at Angel to see what he'd do next.

Angel began to pace, eventually coming to stand in front of Buffy. He took her hand and looked into her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I never meant you to find out this way. I - we wanted to tell you but the time wasn't right. It's just so early in our relationship and the past can be so painful, can you forgive me for not telling you?"

Buffy looked at Spike and Xander who were both shaking with silent laughter, tears rolling down their faces. She looked back at Angel and waved her hands in the air in front of him.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What were you talking about?"

"Spike was telling me about him and Angelus. And about Angelus' fixation on Xander, and can I just say eeeew!"


"So, what were you talking about? What relationship? And with who? Oh God! Please tell me it's not Cordelia. And should I be ready to stake you? 'Cause hello? Happy Angel equals evil Angelus!"

Angel turned even paler if that was possible. He looked over at Xander and Spike and growled. Cordy looked at Buffy and Angel and made gagging noises which set Spike off in even more laughter.

"My soul is permanant, a gift from the powers that be. I won't ever turn into Angelus again. And no, it's not Cordelia. I thought Spike had told you, otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up."

"Well, it's up, so spill."

"Can we talk in private? I don't think everyone needs to hear this."

Wesley, who had been quiet up until this point stood up. He turned to Angel and glared.

"Well, I see that you feel the need to keep your dirty little secret, so I shall save you the trouble! Angel you are a first class heel! If Xander can come out and admit to his friends that he is in love with a souless demon why in hell can you not tell them about us?! I shall tell you why! Because you don't love me at all!"

Wesley turned on his heel and ran out of the shop. Angel started to follow but was held back by the sun.

"I'll go after him. Geez Angel you really know how to make a guy feel loved. Spike? Will you wait here for me?"

"Sure luv, go catch up to the watcher."

"Thanks. Buff? Don't let Mr. Smooth here stake my vampire okay?"

Buffy nodded and Xander took off in search of Wesley. Giles put his head down on the counter and squeezed his eyes shut. The image of Angel and Wesley had jumped unbidden into his head and he wanted it gone. There wasn't enough scotch in the world at that moment. Surprisingly, it was Spike who drew them all back to the present situation.

"So, cheerleader. Why don't you tell us about your vision?"

Xander caught up to the distressed English man at the coffee shop around the corner. He was hunched over at a table in the far corner. Xander went up to the counter and got himself some coffee before slipping into the chair across from him. Wesley looked up at Xander before lowering his head to the table and sighing.

"Aw, come on it isn't that bad."

"I made quite a spectacle of myself back there. I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be. Who cares? I mean Angel was being an ass, he shouldn't be so afraid of what Buffy thinks. She's his ex and yeah the slayer, but he was the scourge of Europe. He should be able to take a little heat."

"Yes well, I'm sure had he not been caught off guard....."

"He would have handled it better?"

"Yes quite. And my acting like a drama queen certainly doesn't help matters."

"You had good reason. If Spike had said that, I would have been upset too. I guess we need to remember that they are old and have different values. At least Angel does, what with him having a soul and all."

"Thank you Xander. I must say I was quite shocked to learn of your relationship with Spike. But I guess dating Cordelia could make any man turn away from women."

Xander couldn't help but laugh at that remark. Wesley laughed as well, it was good to see him in a better mood.

"So, you and the gelled one huh?"

"It's not that much of a shock is it?"

"Well, you know, it's just that you were a watcher. I can't imagine Giles ever taking up with a vamp, souled or not. And before Spike told me about him and Angelus I assumed Angel was very straight. So yeah, it is a bit of a shock. But hey, this is Sunnyhell, anything goes."

"Do you suppose the others will be okay?"

"Does it matter? If you and the caped avenger are happy then who cares? I mean personally, I can't stand Angel and I'm okay with you guys being a couple."

"So no double dating then?"

Wesley smiled as Xander choked on a mouthfull of coffee.

"When did you get so funny? 'Cause the Wesley I remember couldn't pry the stick out of his ass long enough to hear a joke let alone make one."

"Well seeing as my lover is a vampire it would make sense to remove the wooden objects from my body."

"And again with the funny! I like you Wes, you're okay."

"As are you. Now I suppose we should return to the scene of my recent hissy-fit."

"Yeah, I'm sure by now they're waiting for us so we can go after whatever it is you guys are here for."

"Oh damn. I'd forgotten all about the vision!We really should head back."

At the Magic Box, Cordy was telling the others about her vision.

"I saw the highschool, a robed figure and then a lot of demons."

"Er, what kind of demons?"

"All different kinds, I didn't recognize most of them. Sorry Giles."

"Oh, don't be. It's hardly your fault."

Just then Wesley and Xander came back into the shop. They looked around at the rest of the group and then Xander spoke.

"So, I take it we're all gonna die?"

"Nah, just yer regular 'open the hellmouth, release a bunch of nasties' type thing."

"Oh, well that's good. So what's the plan?

A few hours later, plans had been made, Wesley and Angel had left to 'talk' and Xander and Spike were sitting off to one side of the shop alone. Willow came over to them and sat down.


"Yeah Wills?"

"What did you say to Angel?"

Spike and Xander looked at each other and burst out laughing. Finally Xander stopped laughing enough to speak.

"I simply told him that I knew all about his attraction to bookish English men and if he didn't behave, I would tell Buffy that he was not only involved with Wes, but that he had the hots for Giles as well."

Willows' eyes got really big and she opened and closed her mouth in shock.

"That - that isn't true is it? About Giles I mean, because obviously Wesley and him..... but not Giles right?"

"No, not Giles. At least I don't think so. What do you think Spike? Is Angel hot for Giles?"

The others hadn't realized that Buffy had heard them talking. She thought about it for a minute, Spike was English, when he was human he was sweet, smart, and kind of nerdy. Same as Wesley, same as Giles was when she first met him. Oh God! Did Angel have the hots for him when they were together?

"I have to go, I need to....just.... go."

Buffy left and the others looked around confused.

"Well as much as I'm enjoying the Sunnydale gay and lesbian get together, I need to go and find the LA chapter."

Cordelia left right behind Buffy and Giles wandered off in search of a stiff drink. It was going to be a very long day.

Part Twenty-Four

When the sun went down Xander and Spike watched as the rest of the group filed into the shop one by one. Wesley was the first to arrive followed by a very broody Angel.

Since it looked as though they hadn't smoothed things over, Xander called Wes to come over and join him and Spike on the sofa. Angel glared at him briefly before heading toward Giles at the research table.

Angel was standing behind Giles, leaning over his shoulder, reading a passage in a book that Giles had pointed out to him. Needless to say, when Buffy came in and saw them in that position she was drawn to the wrong conclusion.

"You! You stay away from my watcher! You - you undead pervert you!"

Buffy stormed over to Angel and pulled him away from the table, leaving behind a very confused yet stunned former watcher. Angel looked from Buffy to Xander and back to Buffy.

"I don't know what he told you, but this isn't what you're thinking. I'm not after Rupert."

At that remark, both Giles and Wesleys eyes bugged out and they stared, gaping, at the vampire as he tried to talk his way out of the situation.

"I have no feelings toward Rupert. Buffy, stop and consider the source of your information. Xander and Spike? They aren't exactly reliable."

Xander and Spike meanwhile were holding their sides, collapsed against each other with silent laughter. The only thing keeping them silent was the fact that they wanted to be able to hear Angel try to talk his way out of it.

"So you never, ever, had any attraction for Giles? You never lusted after him? Even as Angelus?"

Angel shifted uncomfortably and started to slowly back away from Buffy.

"Well, there was this one time, but it was Angelus! I swear, I never thought of Rupert that way!"

Giles was on his feet and heading for his weapons chest, he suddenly felt the need to be armed. If an undead pysco vampire was lusting for him he wanted protection!

It was too much for Spike, he burst out laughing, Xander right behind him. Even Wesley couldn't hold back a few snickers. The entire situation was extremely humorous.

Willow, Tara and Cordelia entered the shop at that moment and stopped dead in their tracks. They took in the rooms occupants, Spike and Xander collapsed in hysterical laughter, Wesley sitting beside them giggling softly as well, Giles putting bottles of holy water in his pockets as well as arming himself with a cross and a couple stakes, Angel who looked both guilty and afraid at the same time, and then there was Buffy.

Buffy stood staring at Angel, she wanted to believe him that it was Angelus, not him, that wanted Giles. But the simple fact that he was involved with Wesley stated otherwise. Besides that fact, she wasn't a naive little girl anymore. She knew that vampires were alot like their human hosts had been just without the conceince to hold them back. Therefore, Angelus' tastes in men were based on Angels tastes in men. And wasn't that a thought she could do without.

Willow and Tara silently made their way over to where Spike, Xander and Wesley were sitting. Cordelia on the other hand just marched right up to Buffy and Angel and began yelling.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Angel and Buffy both looked at her and then looked at each other.

"You tell her! She's your seer!"

"Why me? I didn't do anything? It was your misunderstanding."

"Fine! Cordy, Angel is a big pervert who has the hots for Giles!"

Buffy stomped off leaving a gaping vampire and a giggling seer behind her. Spike and Xander who had just started to calm down burst out laughing again. Wesley, Willow and Tara joined in. Angel stood where he was shaking his head vehemently.


Giles who up to that point had been silent, turned and looked at the distraught vampire.

"Well why the bloody hell not? There is nothing wrong with my looks, I assure you."

The entire room fell silent. Everyone was waiting for Angel to say something in reply. Just how would he get himself out of this one.

Angel looked at Rupert, an expression of impatience on his face, and turned heel and walked out. Everyone began laughing again as Wesley stood and walked over to Giles.

"I must say, I have never seen him so flustered. Thank you."

"My pleasure, if I had known he was so easy to wind up, I would have done this ages ago."

The two ex-watchers shared a laugh and then turned to the rest of the group. Giles spoke.

"Now that this evenings entertainment is over, we have a vision to deal with. I suggest we arm ourselves and head over to the highschool."

By the time they reached the burnt out school, Angel was already there. He warily approached the others to tell them what he'd seen.

"I slipped inside a few minutes ago, there wasn't anyone there but I could feel a magical signature. Willow? Do you think you and Tara could check it out?"

"Oh, sure! We can do that. Are you guys coming in too?"

"Of course."

The group silently made their way into the old library. Angel, Spike and Xander led the way followed by Willow, Tara and Cordelia. Wesley, Giles and Buffy brought up the rear.

There was indeed a mgical signature, a powerful one at that. Something about the situation was off though. The whole thing felt like a set-up.


Willow whispered, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

"Yes Willow, what is it?"

"This feels wrong. Like it doesn't belong here?"

"How so?"

It was Tara who answered him.

"It's, it's like someone went to alot of trouble to set up a magical field, one that we'd detect but the thing is, it's harmless."


"Yes, like a signature. You know? Something you do to warn others that a powerful witch is near. My mother used to do this, when we travelled, it was a form of protection. A warning to anyone who could feel magics."

Out of the shadows two robed figures emerged.

"Very good little witch, the stars told me you were all shiny and bright. A powerful enemy, but not powerful enough."

Spike and Angel spun around to see the intruders. Spike stepped forward before Xander grabbed him and held him back.

"Dru? What are you doing here?"

Dru began to walk toward Spike, slowly. She stopped a few feet in front of him and smiled.

"My Spike, all twinkly and new. The puppy has played his part well. You are strong again my love, just as I knew you would be. The stars sang to me of pain and death, of blood and life. They told me he was yours, that he would save you."

Xander held on to Spike a little tighter, afraid his lover would leave him.

"Death and blood, family and betrayal. Did it feel good, my pet? To tear them down, to make them bleed? It is what you are, what we are. Join me luv, bring your pet if you must."

The other figure stepped out of the shadow and addressed the vampiress.

"Now Dru, that wasn't what we came here for. You can get your boy some other time. We're here for Angelus."

Giles stepped forward, shock written clearly on his features.


Part Twenty-Five

Ethan pulled the hood away from his face.

"Ripper! Good to see you again old boy."

"Too bad I can't say the same."

Buffy watched the interaction between Spike and Dru, and Giles and Rupert. She was waiting for the opportunity to strike. She needed to know what they planned, also she wasn't sure where Spikes' loyalties lay. Sure, he loved Xander, but he had loved Dru for over a century. He wouldn't hurt Xander, not physically, but he might leave him, or worse - bring him along.

Spike was having similar thoughts. He loved Xander, no doubt about it, but Dru was his sire and he felt compelled to go with her. Now that he was whole again, he could turn Xander, make him his childe and assure that the boy was his forever. They could roam the world, his dark princess, his Xander and himself. But that was the problem, he wouldn't be HIS Xander. He would be a demon, not the strong, caring, loving man he had fallen in love with. If he joined his sire, he would have to leave Xander behind. He couldn't turn him, he wouldn't and Dru could not be trusted not to kill him if he didn't.

Xander was sure of only one thing, he'd dust Dru before he let her take Spike away from him.

"Drusilla dear? Are you ready?"

Ethan turned slightly to look at the insane vampiress. Dru smiled at him and began to wave her hands around as she chanted. Willow, Tara, Giles, and Wesley strained their ears to try to catch what she was saying. Unfortunately they couldn't make out the words and the spell was cast.

When Drusilla stoped chanting she looked at the group of would be heroes and frowned.

"No fun! Didn't even try to stop me."

"Now, now. It's best that they didn't. You know we're on a schedule."

Dru looked at Ethan and pouted.

"But I wanted to play with the little witch. She looks so tasty, like peaches and cream."

Ethan rolled his eyes and turned back to Giles.

"It's so hard to find good help these days."

Buffy had heard enough. She wanted action and was getting ready to strike. Angel saw her tense up from the corner of his eye and turned to her.

"Buffy, don't. She's done something, something feels different."

Buffy looked around at the other people in the room. Everything looked the same, what was Angel talking about?

"What do you mean?"

"I don't ..."

Angel spun around and growled at Dru and Ethan, suddenly he realized what it was he was sensing, or rather not sensing. Somehow, Dru had stripped Buffy of her slayer power. Not only that but she had bound the others magic.

"Ooooh, Daddy's angry. His golden girl is withered and bare, his boy is bound and helpless."

Dru began clapping and spinning in circles.

"Dru, let them go. Undo it, now!"

Ethan, more than a little anxious to get on with things grabbed the vampiress and shook her slightly.

"We don't have time for your madness. The magic users are helpless and the slayer is weak, now is the time to bring back Angelus."

A collective gasp rose from the room. No one wanted to see the return of Angelus. Spike growled at the warlock and his sire, he was not happy. Angelus would try to take Xander, he had no right but he would still try. He wanted to grab the boy and make a run for it. Maybe they could get enough of a head start if they left now.

Xander seemed to sense what Spike was thinking, for he leaned down and whispered in his lovers ear.

"I can't leave them Spike. If Buffy is powerless as well as the others they need me. I have to stay."

"No. You don't."

"I do. Spike, I won't leave them to die. I didn't do that you that night in the park, why would you think I could do it to them?"

Spike knew Xander was right, it was just the boys' nature to help. He wouldn't leave a friend behind, not if it cost him his life. Spike resigned himself to once again helping the good guys and hopefully keeping his insane sire from releasing Angelus. Spike kissed Xander quickly and sighed.

"Right then, let's do this."

The group may not have had any magics, or a slayers' strength for that matter but they did have two vampires. Angel went for Dru, not sure whether he could trust Spike to defend the humans from his sire. Dru was anticipating the move and as Angel grabbed her, she sliced into his chest with a dagger.

Buffy, Cordelia, Willow and Tara weren't able to do much. With no magic, no super powers, and only two opponents they would just be in the way. Buffy made sure to keep the other girls behind her and safe from any attack that might come their way.

Giles, Xander and Wesley all went after Ethan. With no magics to help them, they were having a hard time against the chaos wizard. Spike shook his head and went to help Angel. He saw Dru cut him, and then drop him to the floor. His princess was spinning circles and clapping her hands again. Not a very good sign.

"Dru, what did you do?"

"Mmm, just a little spell. It's a wicked spell, my Spike. It will bring daddy back, daddy likes your pet, Spike. He'll make him beg and bleed. Such a pretty boy, his screams will sound like music."

Spike had heard enough. There was no way he was gonna let Angelus anywhere near Xander. He spun Dru around in a circle so she was pressed tightly against his chest. He kissed her, softly.

"You know I love you, right princess?"

Spike closed his eyes as he drove the stake through her back, piercing her heart. He felt her disintigrate in his arms and wiped the lone tear from his cheek. When he looked up Xander was there.

Xander, Giles and Wesley had finally subdued Ethan and knocked him out. Xander left the two former watchers two tie up the wizard and went looking for Spike. What he saw when he found him was shocking.

Angel lay in a broken heap, eyes open and vacant. Spike and Dru were standing over him, Spike holding his sire close. When Xander saw Spike lean in and kiss her, heard his declaration of love, he was about to turn around and walk away. It was only the slight movement of Spikes' hand as he withdrew the stake from his coat that stopped Xander. He watched in horror and awe as Spike plunged the stake into Drusillas' back. He knew then, that he shouldn't have doubted his lover.

Xander pulled Spike into his arms and Kissed him. He held Spike as the vampire shook with silent grief. To kill your own sire was almost unheard of, and to do so for a human, even less. He and Angel were probably the only vampires who had ever done that. At that moment all Xander wanted to do was take Spike home so they could have some privacy.

Buffy had seen the entire thing, she was as awestruck as Xander, Spike had actually dusted Dru. For Xander. She had to get everyone out of the school, get Angel some help and break the spell that Dru had cast. First off she needed to talk to Spike and Xander.

Wesley and Giles had finished tying Ethan and were now in the process of lifting Angel off the floor, when Buffy came over. Xander was still holding Spike, who had his eyes closed tightly and was shaking. Xander looked at Buffy and shook his head sadly. She nodded.

"Xander, why don't you take Spike home? We can get Angel and Ethan back to Giles'."

Xander smiled gratefully and made to pull Spike away. Spike lifted his head from Xanders shoulder and spoke so softly it was almost hard to hear.

"Tie him up slayer, he isn't Angel anymore."

Xander and Spike walked away leaving a stunned and saddened group behind them. Buffy and Giles began tying up the apparently comatose vampire on the floor while Cordelia held a sobbing Wesley.

Tara pulled her girlfriend away from the others and whispered in her ear.

"I still have my power, I think I can break the spell she cast but I can't do it here. The power of the hellmouth is too negative."

Willow looked at Tara in confusion.

"How? Why didn't it work on you? We have to tell Giles."

"No. I don't want to get their hopes up. My mother gave me this when I little, when I first started practising magic with her."

Tara pulled a small medalion on a chain out from under her blouse.

"It has a powerful protection spell on it, it keeps me safe from anyone who would try to take my power."

"Okay, we'll go back to the dorms after we help the others get Angel back to the shop."


Part Twenty-Six

When Xander got Spike back to the apartment he steered him into the bedroom and began to undress him. He was still coated in Drusillas' dust and Xander knew that wasn't helping Spike any. Spike himself was shut-down, a situation Xander had seen him in before.

After stripping Spike, Xander undressed as well and led the unresponsive vampire into the bathroom. Xander turned the shower on and pulled Spike under the hot spray. After washing his lover from head to toe - twice because he knew how sensitive a vamps senses were - he dried him off and dressed him in a pair of his comfy sweat pants and a loose t-shirt.

Xander took Spike back to bed and just held him. Slowly Spike started to come back to himself, Xander continued to hold him and try his best to comfort him. Finally Spike was cohearant enough to talk about it.


"Hey, Spike. You okay?"

"Not really, luv. I will be though."

"Why, Spike? Why did you ...."

"Stake Dru? Had to, she was too dangerous luv. She would have hurt you, or worse."

"You - you did that, for me? I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me. Say I did the right thing. Say you're mine."

"Yes, yours. I love you Spike, always."

"Show me?"

Xander kissed Spike with all the love he had in him, he wanted to make Spike understand how very much he loved him. He touched him gently, carefully, like you would a cherished object.

Spike responded to the gentle carress of his lover, it was what he wanted, what he needed right now. He didn't know how he ever got so lucky, to have someone love him this much, someone who seemed to be able to read his very thoughts. Xander always seemed to know the right thing to say, the right thing to do. And what he was doing right now was very much appreciated. He was letting him know that he was loved, above all others, he was what was important.

Xander spent countless minutes just touching and kissing Kissing Spike, gently removing the clothing from his lovers body. He stood and undressed himself and just looked at Spike, naked and hard on their bed, pale skin glowing in the moonlight. He was beautiful.

"You're beautiful, Spike. I love you so so much."

"Xander, please. Touch me, love me."

"Always Spike, always."

Xander returned to the bed and began to worship Spike with his hands and mouth. He kissed and caressed every inch of that pale skin until Spike was trembling and begging for more. Then he gently prepared the vampire and eased himself into his lovers body.

Spike arched into the heated body of his lover, he needed this contact, this reassurance. It was maddening, the slow pace and gentle touches, but at the same time it was exciting and new. In over a century he'd never had anyone take such care to be gentle and good with him as Xander did, and probably always would. It was the difference between making love and having sex or fucking.

Xander set a slow and easy pace, making sure to nudge Spikes' prostate on each stroke. He wanted to bring pleasure to Spike, to wipe out the pain of what he'd done earlier, to prove to him that he was loved.

Spike was close, he could hear Xander chanting 'love you' over and over in his ear. He felt Xander shift his weight to one arm just before a warm hand wrapped around his throbbing cock and began to stroke him. It was too much and he came with a strangled scream. Xander felt it the moment Spike let go. He stopped holding back and let himself climax as well.

Xander pulled out of his lover carefully and rolled them so that Spike was lying on top of him. He held him close and rubbed soothing circles on his back. He couldn't help but smile when he heard the faint rumbling emit from his vampire. He decided that now was as good a time as any to ask Spike something that had been nagging at him since they left the school.

"Spike? You remember the first morning after the.... the thing in the park?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You remember what you said about killing? About vampires only killing for certain people?"


"Well, if you were a vampire, it would mean you were either my Sire, my Master, or my Childe. Vamps don't go around protecting each other unless they're close, family close. The only other thing a vampire will kill for is it's Mate. They aren't always vampires, but most of the time they are. Since you're human, it doesn't have to mean anything. I'd like it if it meant we were friends."


"Yeah, I remember. What of it? What are you trying to say pet?"

"I was wondering ... Am I ... Are we .... You killed for me. Why?"

Things were starting to make sense to Spike, he had an Idea of what Xander was trying to say.

"You want to know if you are my mate, don't you?"


"No, not yet anyway. I want you to be, but right now you are just my claimed, my lover."

"What's the difference? I mean we did the whole biting thing."

Spike sighed, this was not something he was good at, explaining vampire traditions was always more of Angelus' fortay. Still, he could tell Xander what he knew, it wasn't much but it would have to do.

"Alright, now you probably know more about stodgy vamp ritual than I do, but the bonding of mates is something that isn't done very often so you won't find any written works on it. Basicaly, a vampire and his chosen, be it another vamp, a human, or something else, tie themselves to each other with magic. It forms a bond, a link, between the two. They get the best parts of the other, in our case you would gain immortality and I would likely gain the power to withstand holy objects, possibly even sunlight."

"Wow. So uh, why don't more vamps just bond with humans? If it gives them these advantages, I mean."

"Because, the bond only works if the two in question are truely in love. Not many humans could love a demon, or vice versa. Hells not many demons can truely love anyone, especially vampires."

"You can."

"Yeah well, I've always been unique what can I say?"

Xander kissed Spike on the top of his head and then fell silent. He was thinking about everything he'd just heard. He knew about being claimed and the benefits he would gain from it, but had never heard of bonding - being mated. Spike had said he wanted to bond with him, make him his mate, but did he want that with Spike?

Spike knew Xander was thinking, he hadn't wanted to have this discussion yet, not like this. Yeah, he wanted Xander, wanted to be with him forever, but it was too soon for this. Xander was human, he had no idea of what it would be like to become the mate of a vampire. Eternity sounded good, until you were actually faced with it. How would Xander cope with watching all of his friends grow old and die while he remained the same? Not that they really stood a chance of living that long here on the hellmouth. That was the one reason Spike had to push this, he didn't want to lose Xander before they got the chance to bond.

Xander took a good look at the man sprawled across his chest. Could he love him forever? Did he want to? After much consideration he knew the answer was a heartfelt yes. He had given his life over to Spike completely the night he'd deactivated the chip. That was the night he turned away while his father and uncle were tortured and killed in the name of love and vengence, the night he had been claimed. He loved Spike. If that meant he had the chance to truely love him forever, he was going to take it.

Part Twenty-Seven

The rest of the group carried Angel and Ethan back to Giles apartment. They deposited the wizard in a chair and carried Angel upstairs to the bathroom. After securing him in the tub with the chains they had kept in case Spike ever needed restraining again, Giles and Wesley joined the others in the front room.

"Are we certain that that is Angelus in the bath and not Angel?"

"I'm sorry Wes, but I'm going to have take Spike on his word. He wouldn't lie, not about this."

"If you say so."

Wilow and Tara made their excuses and headed out. They needed to get back to the dorms so that Tara could try to reverse the spell that Dru had cast.

Buffy sat dejectedly on the sofa. Ever since finding out that she was the slayer she had dreamed of having a normal life, of being just a regular girl. Now that she was, she hated it. She wasn't used to standing by and letting other people fight. It didn't sit well with her. She wanted answers as to why Ethan and Dru brought back Angelus, she wanted to know how to break the spell that had rendered them all weak. If she had her slayer powers she would beat the answers out of him. Sure she still knew how to fight and could kick his ass but without the added threat of her super strength, she knew Ethan wouldn't talk. And Dru couldn't.

Cordelia made Wesley some tea and sat with him while he drank. He was miserable and it showed. He couldn't understand how Angelus could be back, the Powers had granted Angel a permanent soul. Cordelia put her arms around her friend and held him.

"Are you okay?"

"No. Do you know the last time we spoke I told him that I wasn't sure that we should be together? That if he didn't love me enough to be open about our relationship that we should end it?"

"Oh, Wes. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't mean it, I just wanted him to stand up to his past, to stand up for us."

"I know, he does love you. You just have to remember that until we can fix this. We will fix this."

"Thank you Cordelia. You are a good friend."

"Of course I am. Now come on, we have research to do. I'm going to start with that miserable wizard over there!"

Buffy motioned for Giles to meet her in the kitchen. Once they were seated and were sure they wouldn't be disturbed she spoke.

"Giles? What happens if I never get my power back? Will another slayer be called?"

"I assume not. As far as I know this is unprecidented. A slayer is only called when her predecessor dies."

"What about you, Wesley, Willow and Tara? Is there some way to get your magic back?"

"Perhaps, but it won't be easy. And right now we have other concerns so that will have to wait."

"I know. I just can't believe that Angelus is back. And Spike, he actually staked Dru for us."

"Not for us Buffy. For Xander. I don't know exactly what is between them but it goes far deeper than what we know about them. He really cares for Xander, I'd go so far as to say he loves him by what we witnessed tonight."

"I know he does, he told me. I just want to know how they got together, and how long they've been a couple."

"I would guess before the Zhurk'thang demon. There was a..... situation that night. I'm still not sure what happened but Xander killed that demon to save Spike, and then he.... held him afterwards. You should probably keep this to yourself. Xander was quite adamant that I not ask questions. I gather it is a private thing."

"Okay. But if you ever figure it out, I want to know. Xander is my friend, and I guess Spike has proven himself as well. If there's something that needs to done, I want to help."

"Of course. Meanwhile, I suggest we interrogate Ethan and then check on Angelus."

"I think Cordy and Wes are already talking to Ethan, but I'll go check on our newest resident of the Rupert Giles bath-tub hotel."

Buffy couldn't help but snicker at Ethan as she strode through the livingroom on her way to check on Angelus. Cordelia and Wesley were certainly working him over well. Giles took one look in their direction and sighed loudly as he began polishing his glasses.

"I really don't think he's going to be able to tell you anything with that.... thing in his mouth. And please, for the sake of my sanity, never tell me which one of you it belongs to."

Cordelia shrugged and removed the ball gag from ethans mouth.

"It was just to keep him quiet while we attached the alligator clips. Wes? Do you have the charge set up?"

Wes looked up from the lamp he had rewired to meet Cordelias eyes.

"Just about, I just want to make sure I don't acidentally set fire to Ruperts' flat when I turn it on."

Giles looked from Wes, to Cordelia and then to a terrified Ethan.

"Dare I even ask where you attached the clips?"

Cordy smirked.

"You probably don't want to know. In fact, you might want to go back in the kitchen. You know it's amazing the torture techniques you pick up on working for a vampire."

"Well then, I shall retire to the kitchen. Ethan? I suggest you talk. She may look like a nice young woman, but I wouldn't underestimate her ability to hurt you. Oh, and Cordelia? Please gag him again before you begin, I do have neighbors."

Buffy stood in the doorway looking at the vampire in the bathtub. It was hard for her to look at him like this, Angel was always so strong and powerful, even Angelus - as much as she hated him - was a worthy advisary. To see such a powerful creature in this state was horrid. She smiled as she remembered the way Spike would curse and yell at them when he was the one in the tub. Even after everything he'd been put through at the hands of the Initiative he was still the same cocky arrogant pain in the ass. She wondered if he was going to be okay, she had never understood the ramifications of staking your own sire until he had explained it to her once, when they were engaged. She hadn't realized how difficult it must have been for Angel, but at least he had a soul to reassure him he had done the right thing. Spike was all demon and yet still staked Dru.

Buffy shook her head and walked away from Angel - Angelus - and went back down stairs. On her way through the livingroom she stopped to see how things were going with their guest. Cordelia and Wesley had him tied to a chair and were attaching wires to clips on his nipples.

"Kinky. Cordelia I never knew you had it in you."

"You should have asked Xander."

Buffy gaped at the former cheerleader before bursting out laughing. Cordy flashed her one of her hundred watt smiles and went back to work on the chaos wizard.

"I'll be in the kitchen with Giles if you need any help."

"I'm sure we'll be fine. Won't we chaos-boy? Now you just let me know if this hurts and I'll be sure to do it again."

Buffy heard a muffled scream behind her as she entered the kitchen. She saw Giles sitting at the table, cup of tea in hand, and staring off into space. She knew this was hard for him, Ethan and him had been friends at one time, and now he was sitting in here ignoring the fact that his former friend was being electrocuted in his livingroom.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes, fine. Well, no not really. This isn't easy."

"I know, but it has to be done. We can't just let it go, he's the only one who can tell us what she did to us."

"I know, it's just, we were very close. It's hard to see him reduced to this."

"Well, he doesn't seem to have any trouble seeing you rendered powerless. Giles he helped Drusilla take our powers, all of us."

"I know, and for that reason alone I am allowing this to continue."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Cordy will have him talking in no time. She's kinda scary now, you know?"

"Yes I see your point. I can't believe I'm going to say this but, I'm glad Xander is with Spike and no longer dating her. I would fear for his safety."

"I know what you mean. Speaking of, should we call them?"

"Let's give them some time shall we? I'm sure they'll call when they are up to it."

Part Twenty-Eight

Tara and Willow sat on their bed surrounded by magic texts and scrolls. They had been searching for the better part of an hour and had come up with nothing.

"We need to find out what she said."

"Do you think maybe Spike or Angel heard her?"

"I don't know, Willow. But under the circumstances I don't think Angel would tell us anything and Spike.... well I don't think we should bother him. Not tonight."

"You're right, I know. But I hate this, I feel so violated."

"Let's keep looking, maybe we'll find something."

Tara had an idea of what spell Dru had cast and if it were the one she was thinking of there was nothing she could do. The only one who could possibly undo the spell was Angel or Spike since they were blood-linked to Drusilla. And Angel was Angelus now and Spike was unlikely to willingly give a slayer back her power. In short, they were screwed.

Cordy removed the gag from Ethans mouth and quirked her eyebrow at him.

"Ready to talk yet or should I have Wes zap you again?"

Ethan did his best to look unaffected and leered at the girl.

"Or you could unty me and we could take this little bondage session somewhere more private. Your friend is welcome to come along, he's not hard on the eyes either."

"Eeewww! So not going to do that! Wes, I think it's time we attach the other clips. The ones that go..... lower?"

Ethan clenched his jaw but said nothing as Wesley brought out another set of clips and began attaching wires to them. It wasn't until Cordelia started to unfasten his pants that he spoke up.

"Alright! Alright, I'll tell you what I know, but it isn't much."

"No, really?"

"Look, all I know is the last time I was here I was given to a bunch of military scientists who wanted to crack open my skull to see what they could learn from it. I was rescued, purchased really, by a lovely dark haired woman in an expensive suit."

Wesley and Cordelia looked at each other, they both spoke at once.


Ethan nodded his head.

"Yes I believe that was her name. She sent me here with that mad woman to bespell the vampire. That's all I know. I don't know why she wants Angelus back nor do I care. I simply did what was asked of me in order to regain my freedom."

Cordelia looked skeptical. Wesley shook his head and sighed.

"That really wasn't the answer that we wanted. You see, you were supposed to tell us how to undo the spell that bound our powers and how to restore Angel. I assume you either don't know these things or you take us for fools. Either way I'm betting a little electricity will answer that question."

Wesley reattached the ballgag as Cordelia attached the clips to the wizards foreskin. Ethan screamed behind the gag and frantically tried to talk. Wes loosened the gag and Ethan spoke.

"You people are crazy!"

"Gag him Wes, he isn't ready to talk yet."

"Wait! Yes, yes I am. Please just don't flick that switch."

Wesley toyed with the rewired lamp in his hand. He ran his fingertips over the power switch and smiled an evil smile.

"What this switch?"

He quickly flicked the switch on and then off again. Ethan lurched up off the chain in pain and then dropped back onto it. Cordy looked at Wes like he was insane, she hadn't expected it to go this far.

"Terribly sorry old chap, must have gotten a twitch in my finger. Perhaps you should talk before it happens again."

Ethan took a deep breath and started talking. He told them how Drusillas' spell could only be broken by herself or possibly her sire if he were magically inclined. That Angel was still in possession of his soul but that the demon had been granted control of the body. He swore that he had no idea of how to reverse it. Wesley was considering shocking him again when Giles came in and interupted.

"I believe he is telling the truth."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, Wesley. I assure you, no one would enjoy frying his knackers more than I, but I believe him."

"Fine then, It has been a very trying evening and I'm quite worn out. I'm going to look in on Angel and then I shall head back to the hotel if that's okay with you."

"Yes, that sounds like a very good idea."

Wesley left to check in on Angel/Angelus and Cordelia motioned for Giles to join her in the kitchen. Buffy was still there drinking a soda and eating some cookies. As soon as they were away from Ethan and she was sure that neither he or Wesley would hear, Cordelia told Giles what was on her mind.

"I don't think we should leave Wesley alone right now. He and Angel, well they had a bit of an arguement the last time they spoke and he's taking it pretty badly."

"Will you be accompanying him back to the hotel then?"

"Yeah, as long as I'm not needed here. I think Mr. wizard in there is under control and Angelus is still out of it."

"Don't worry, Buffy and I will be fine here. You should take Wesley back to the hotel and you both should get some rest. We have alot of research to do tomorrow."

Wesley looked at the vampire in the tub and wondered if what the wizard had said was true. Was Angel indeed still in there? And if so would he hear him?

"Angel, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're even there, but if you are I want you to know that I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, what I said about us not staying together. I was just jealous of the way Xander stood up to his friends and announced his relationship with Spike. I wanted to have that openess with you. I realize that I was wrong to run off and more so to tell you I wanted to end it. I love you, I just wanted you to know. Good night Angel."

Wesley went back downstairs and met Cordelia at the door. They waved goodbye to Giles and Buffy and then left. Giles and Buffy made themselves comfortable and settled in for a long night of prisoner watching. Ethan opened his mouth to say something but one look from Buffy was enough to make him close it again. He would live with the slight pain from the clips rather than remind her that they were still hooked up. One zap to the testicles was more than enough, thank you.

Part Twenty-Nine

After Buffy drifted off to sleep, Giles approached Ethan and took a good look at the man. He couldn't help but chuckle a bit at Ethans state of undress. The clips were still attached and he looked quite uncomfortable.

"I told you to talk didn't I?"

"And how was I to know that such a pretty young girl could be so.... cruel. And the other one, he was a watcher for Gods sake!"

"So was I, and you know what I am capable of."

"True, now are you going to stand there gaping at me all night or are you going to remove these damn things?"

Giles seemed to consider his options before reaching down and removing the clips from Ethans' foreskin. The wizard let out a breath and smiled.

"Thank you, that was most uncomfortable. Could you remove the others as well?"

Giles removed the nipple clips as well and then refastened Ethans trousers and buttoned his shirt.

"Now, I suggest you try and sleep, Xander and Spike will likely be here before sunrise and I assure you the vampire will be most displeased with you."

"But he can't hurt humans."

"Perhaps not, but his lover can and I assure you he will."

"The boy?"

"His name is Xander, and he is more than just a boy. That young man killed a Zhurk'thang demon all by himself, a difficult task I assure you, and all because it touched Spike. I wouldn't underestimate him, or have you learned nothing from your session with Cordelia?"

"Right then, if you'll just show me to my room I'll turn in."

"You'll stay right where you are. Goodnight Ethan. And do remember, I still have the gag and will not hesitate to use it."

Xander held Spike and watched him sleep. It was one of his favorite things to do, ever since they had begun sharing a bed, when Xander could only imagine how it would feel to have all that cool flesh pressed against his naked body. Spike was such an animated creature when he was awake, always moving from place to place, fighting, talking, laughing, smoking, even eating. It was strange to see a vampire act so human. But Spike was a unique vampire. Right now though, sleeping, Spike looked the picture of innocence, like he'd never harmed a thing in his life. Xander was sure that Spike would be corpse like while sleeping and so he avoided really looking at him the first couple nights. He was pleasantly surprised to learn that Spike was still very animated even in his sleep. His chest would sometimes rise and fall with unneeded breath, he tossed and turned in his sleep and even mumbled out loud at times. But best of all, he held Xander tightly to him as if he were afraid he would lose him if he let go. Xander enjoyed being held, being needed.

"Go to sleep git. Can feel you staring at me."

"Oops. Sorry."

"S'alright pet. But you need to sleep, we have to get to the watchers before sunrise."

"How come?"

"I need to see Angelus. See what Dru did to him."

"Okay. Night Spike."

"Night, love you."

"I love you too."

Across town at the university, another couple was turning in for the night.


"Yes love?"

"Do - do you think you'll be able to fix this?"

"I don't know, but I won't give up trying."

"I'm scared."


"I've been using magic for so long now, I don't know if I can be usefull with out it."

"Oh, Willow. Honey, you have always been a useful member of the scoobies. With or with out magic, Buffy needs you."

"But if she doesn't get her strength back....."

"She'll need you more than ever."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome. Now come here, let me hold you?"


Tara lay awake and listened to Willows breathing pattern as the red-head fell asleep. She was worried about her lover, and her friends. If she was right, and the vampires were the only shot they had at getting the spell broken, they might never be made whole. Perhaps there was something she could do to convince Spike to help them. Some way to bribe him?

Several hours after Rupert Giles had drifted into a somewhat restless sleep, he, Buffy and their other captive Ethan Rayne, were woken to the sounds of a vampire screaming obsenities from the bathroom.

"I'll go Giles."

"Are you sure Buffy? Without your slayer strength...."

"He's chained up, and besides just because I don't have the strength of a slayer right now doesn't mean I can't fight. Or have you forgotten my eighteenth birthday?"

Giles hung his head shamefully, he would always regret what he had done to his slayer that day.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I learned from it, and you had no real choice at the time. Now I'm going to see what Mr. Grumpy wants."

Resigned to the fact that he would get no more sleep that night Giles went to the kitchen to make himself some tea.

Buffy walked into the room and watched as Angelus struggled to remove his chains. She couldn't help but snicker at the look of outrage on his face.

"Don't bother, they're magically enhanced and have been vamp-tested. You're not going anywhere."

Angelus turned and growled at her, yellow eyes blazing.

"Let. Me. Out. Of. Here!"

"Nope, not gonna happen. Until we find a way to restore Angel you are staying right where you are."

"I'm hungry."

"Fine, I'll feed you."

"Come here then."

"Oh please, like I'd let you bite me. I'll heat you some pigs blood. I'm sure Spike won't mind sharing."

"I don't see where the difference is?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you come here and I get the blood straight from the pig, no difference."

Buffy was not a happy camper. She stormed off in a fit of rage. Angelus smiled and called after her.

"Hurry back lover, I'll be waiting!"

Xander woke to the feel of cool silky lips trailing across his chest, lowering down his body. He moaned half in sleepiness, half in desire. Spike nudged Xanders' legs apart and lay down between them. He took his lovers semi-erect cock in his mouth and suckled at it gently. He was awed by the feel of it expanding in his mouth. Xander moaned in disappointment when Spike released it only to gasp in pleasure as he felt the first tentative flick of a cool tongue across his opening.

Xander drew his legs up and opened himself fully to Spike. He was rewarded by a second, firmer touch by that cool tongue. He felt Spikes hand grip his cock and begin softly stroking him as he played his tongue around Xanders hole. It was a very good way to wake up.

After several minutes of this agonizingly slow, pleasurable torture Xander was near the edge of his sanity. He wanted Spike in him, and now.

"Gods, Spike. Please!"


That was all the response he got from the vampire who had his tongue firmly embedded in his ass.

"Fuck me? Please? I need you!"

Lightening quick, Spike was up and draped over his lover.

"Since you asked so nicely."

Spike positioned himself and slowly slid inside. He kept his strokes long and slow until he was sure Xander was accustomed to the intrusion. Wrapping one hand around Xanders cock he began to pull him off as he increased his thrusts. Xander was moaning and thrusting back.

As he felt his climax building, Xander turned his head to the side and pulled Spikes face to his neck, to his mark.


Spike morphed and sunk his fangs into Xanders flesh. Both men exploded into orgasm, thrusting, and moaning their completion. Spike withdrew his fangs slowly and licked over the mark. Xander shuddered underneath him and held tightly to his lover. He couldn't imagine not having the blonde in his bed, in his life, he was too much a part of him now.

"I love you, Spike."

"I love you too, Xan."

"What time is it?"

"Just after five. We need to get going."

"Oh, right. Angelus. I nearly forgot."

"Wish I could."

They did a quick clean up, dressed and headed out to Giles place. It was going to be a long day.

Part Thirty

Just before sunrise a very annoyed Buffy opens the door to Xander and Spike. Xander looks at buffy and realizes that Angelus must have said something she didn't like.

"So what did he say to piss you off?"

"He called me a pig!"

"Uh, not to take his side or anything but, he's called you worse."

"No, he said he was hungry and he wanted to bite me. I told him I'd heat him some pigs blood......"

Spike, realizing where this was going began to snicker softly

"....and he had the nerve to tell me that if I'd just come closer he could drink straight from the pig!"

Buffy tipped her head up in indignation, of course from this new angle Xander could see her little upturned nose and began to snicker as well. He elbowed Spike who looked over at Buffy at burst out laughing. Buffy glared at the two of them and then turned and left muttering death threats to them both.

Giles came out of the kitchen, cup of tea in hand, and looked at the two laughing men. He shook his head fondly and sat down. Only Spike could break down in grief for killing his sire and then be laughing with abandon a few hours later. Although he was sure that Xander had had alot to do with that.

"Good morning, and how did you sleep?"

"Not bad, you?"

"Oh, lovely, considering Angelus decided to wake us all with his caterwauling and cursing. Not to mention he (points at Ethan) snores like a bloody chainsaw! Xander, next time you get the prisoners."

Spike walked over to the still tied up wizard and bared his fangs at him. Ethan knew that Spike couldn't hurt him so he merely shrugged at him.

"Is this supposed to frighten me? I know that you are unable to hurt me vampire so enough with the theatrics."

Spike looked over at Xander, a pleading expression on his face.

"Come on luv, let me eat the wizard, hmm? I skipped breakkie and he's not a nice man."

Xander smiled at his lover and nodded toward Giles.

"It would be Giles call Spike, we don't know if they've gotten everything they need from him yet."

Spike looked at Giles and raised an eyebrow.

"Have you Rupert? Cause I could torture it outta him for ya."

"Oh yes, actually Cordelia was most persuasive, as was Wesley. I'd say the alligator clips and my re-wired lamp worked quite well. Wouldn't you say so? Are your uh, nether regions still sore Ethan?"

Ethan grimaced at the reminder, his nipples were scabbed over and quite sore, not to mention his electrocuted genitals.


"So, the cheerleader and not-a-watcher fried yer knackers did they? Wesley I can see but the cheerleader, I didn't know she had it in her."

"I did. I dated her, she's scary."

"We'll have to talk about that later, I want all the nasty details."

Spike leered at his lover.

"Anyway, the question was.... can I eat him?"

Giles looked at Spike and then at Xander. Understanding dawned in his eyes. He couldn't believe it. Of all the foolish, dangerous things Xander could have done, and how long had Spike been without the chip?

"Xander? You deactivated Spikes chip?"


"Might I ask why?"

"No. It's personal."

"When, er when did you do this? And how?"

"A couple days ago, and it was quite simply really. I'm surprised you never thought about it."


"A very big electro-magnet. I used the one at the scrap yard."

"Oh. Can we trust him?"

"Oi! I'm right here ya know."

"I know. Xander?"

"Yes. Spike won't hurt me, and hurting you guys would hurt me, so he won't."

Giles turned to the vampire, he looked him over questioningly.

"Is that the only reason? Because it would hurt Xander?"

"No. The witches are nice to me, bake me cookies and ask me how I'm doin', I wouldn't hurt them, I like them. Dawn, well Dawn is my family. You, I won't kill because you took me in, even though you chained me in the soddin bathtub, you make a good cup of tea and will actually watch passions with me."

"And what about Buffy? Would you kill her, Spike?"



"Because..... because I respect her even though I can't stand her. And because... I loved her once, stupid wonky spell."

"Alright then, and Angels people? You'll leave them alone?"

"The seer and the git are safe. Bloody earned me respect with what they did to this soddin arsehole. Now, can I please eat him?"

Ethan began to sweat as he realized that the vampire in front of him was very capable of killing him and that his life was literally in Ruperts hands.

"Ripper, please. You can't do this, you're not like that anymore."

"Hmm, as you seem to keep bringing the name Ripper into this I'm not sure you really believe that. Spike? You may bite him, just don't kill him. Yet. We may need further information from him."

Spike vamped out and lunged toward Ethans throat. The wizard screamed and promptly passed out. Spike removed his fangs, having barely tasted the man and licked his lips. He turned to look at Xander and Giles.

"What? It's no fun when they pass out."

Xander and Giles exchanged an amused look before Xander took Spike in his arms and kissed him. Both the vampire and the mortal could hear the distinct sound of glasses being polished as the former watcher walked away.

Parts 31 to 55

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The Spander Files