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Going Roman
by spikeNdru
Completed May 2. 2005
Genre: Drama/Humor
Characters: Harmony and Andrew
Time Frame: After Harmony's exit in Not Fade Away
Rating: PG
Written for the Harmony Kendall Ficathon. The request was for a story based on the following dialogue: “Because we're totally bonding! We're like gal pals! This is awesome! You can teach me about life, and I can teach you how to dress better.”
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox; I'm just playing with them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Los AngelesHarmony stared at the total destruction of what had been the Wolfram and Hart offices.
She had been hired during the complete restaffing after the Beast killed everyone the previous year, and now everything was gone again. She had lived in southern California her whole life—and un-life, too! She had planned to remain here; grow . . . more mature here. 'Cause LA was totally the place to live when you had the 'forever 18' thing going on! But now, she was beginning to reconsider. Wolfram and Hart had been destroyed—twice—Sunnydale was a giant crater . . . what was keeping her in southern California? Nothing, that's what! It was time to move on!
Harmony sat down on the retaining wall that—along with the tasteful sign—was all that was left of W&H, and bit her lip. Harmony didn't like being by herself. She was friendly, sociable, enjoyed being part of a group, and didn't really like making decisions on her own. Cordy had called them all sheep—like that was a bad thing—and Aura and Aphrodesia were all insulted, but look where they were now! Aura was in law school and Aphrodesia married an accountant, had a baby, and was already pregnant with her second. Really, can you get any more sheep-like than that?
Harmony giggled. Maybe she wasn't a sheep—hello, vampire here! Predator!—but she was definitely a herd animal of some kind. And there was nothing wrong with that! Everybody was always saying Know yourself. Actualize your potential. Find your strengths. Well, she did! She read the self-help books, she watched Oprah and Dr. Phil and she knew herself. She wasn't a Lone Wolf kinda gal! She wasn't even all that much of a predator, come to think of it. So . . . what the frick was she going to do with the rest of her un-life?
Her job was gone, her childhood home was gone—she just hoped her family had managed to get out of Sunnydale first—her family and friends were gone . . . there was nothing for her in SoCal any longer. Harmony sniffed, wiping away a tear.
She straightened her shoulders. She wasn't about to spend time crying over what was gone. She had always prided herself on her sunny disposition and up-beat personality—well, that and her good looks. But, for some reason, you weren't supposed to admit that you were beautiful. That was just silly!
Harmony stood up, threw back her shoulders, put her hands on her hips and said out loud, “I'm productive, I'm beautiful and I don't need a man to complete me! I don't. What I really need is a job! But where the heck am I gonna find a job as good as the one I had at W&H . . .”
Harmony's eyes glittered as she pulled out her cell phone. She touched the button to display the pre-programed memory that had come with the phone. She hit speed dial for the third entry.
“Um, hi! This is Harmony Kendall, Mr. Angel's assistant at the LA branch? Well, the office here got kinda trashed and I'm out of a job and I wondered if Ms.—” Harmony looked carefully at the name. It was a good thing she had enhanced night vision. “—Costa-Bianchi has any openings? Sure, I'll hold . . . Oh, hi, Ms. Costa-Bianchi, this is Harmony Ken— Oh, he did? He spoke well of me? That's so nice. Hamilton's a real sweetie. You do? Sure! I'd love it! Well, it's not like I have a whole bunch of stuff to pack . . . I'm sure you have stores there in Rome, too. Oh, we will? Shopping together? I'd love that! Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to it, too. Thanks again. Okay, Chow to you, too!”
Problem solved! In one fell swoop, no less. She wasn't sure exactly what a 'fell swoop' was, but she liked the sound of it. She had a job, she had a place to go . . . She was going on a Eurotrip! Good-bye, California. I'll miss you, but I'm a Roman now!
Rome
Harmony left the Wolfram and Hart offices in a daze. She stopped at the first sidewalk café—she'd have to remember they were called 'trattorias' here—she came upon and sank into a chair next to a tiny, round table. Everything had happened so fast . . .
It seemed like one minute she was on the phone with Ms. Costa-Bianchi, and the next, she was in Angel's plane, flying to Rome. She was a little nervous about her rapid change in circumstances, so she checked the mini-bar but all that was available was gin—and gin was just . . . ulck. You would have thought a private plane would have a bigger selection!
Upon arrival in Rome, she was whisked to the W & H offices in a limo and Ms. Costa-Bianchi had seemed really glad to have her there. Harmony decided that she had made a good career move.
A waiter materialized at her elbow and Harmony ordered a coffee and Prosciutto with melon. She didn't really need to eat human food, but for some reason, her interview with Ms. Costa-Bianchi had given her a craving for cantaloupe and ham.
Everybody here seemed really nice, even if they did talk really fast and yelled a lot. Ms. Costa-Bianchi said that was just their way and Harmony would fit in in no time. Harmony smiled happily. She was in Europe! She had a new job and a new . . . everything.
She looked at the cars whizzing by and, okay, not really all that different from LA—but it was Europe! She'd always wanted to go to France, but Italy was even better! Gucci, Versace, Dolce and Gabbana . . . she couldn't wait to go shopping! And she could stay in the company apartment until she found a place of her own.
Harmony sipped her coffee. Ms. Costa-Bianchi had even said that there'd be a supply of her special blend of pig-and-otter blood in the new apartment to make her feel at home until she decided what she wanted to do about her diet. Apparently, the other CEOs didn't subscribe to Angel's ban on human blood but, what the heck, she was used to the otter now and it was really nice that they wanted her to feel welcome.
Harmony noticed the Ferrari F-50 hovering at the curb and craned her neck to see if it was somebody famous. The driver got out of the car and stood by the door. He nodded to her and she smiled brightly. He was totally cute and he was coming over to her!
“Ms. Kendall, I'm Alberto, your driver. I'll take you to your apartment whenever you're ready.”
She had a driver! Her very own driver and a limited edition Ferrari. Squee! Harmony tamped down her excitement and tried to appear cool and cosmopolitan.
“Thank you, Alberto. I'm ready to go now.”
He put some money on the table and then opened the door of the passenger's seat for her.
Yep, she'd definitely made the right decision. She was so going to love living in Rome.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Harmony gradually settled into her new job. It wasn't all that difficult, but it was sort of weird. Ms. Costa-Bianchi already had two Administrative Assistants—and they were both guys! How strange was that? She didn't go back into the typing pool because Ms. C-B said her talents would be wasted there. Apparently, Ms. C-B had heard about her putting together that demon summit thingy—and she was totally impressed with the camel, even if Angel had been less than enthusiastic about the whole thing!
So Harmony's new title was 'Demon Liaison' and she got a raise and that was pretty cool, even if her job so far seemed to consist of delivering suitcases of money to various demon clans.
Harmony liked Rome, she liked her job, she loved shopping, but . . . she missed having friends. She hadn't made one single friend since she'd been in Rome. All the guys seemed to want to hit on her and all the women seemed to resent her. She missed Angel and Spike and Wesley and Gunn and Fred! Well, she didn't actually miss Angel all that much—he was sort of scary and cranky and broody and he yelled at her a lot. And, except for that one time, Spikey seemed to mostly roll his eyes and ignore her. And she was grateful that Wes had given her the promotion, but after that he'd been really busy and then really crazy, so she couldn't really count him as a close, personal friend. Charles was polite to her, but she had no idea what he was saying most of the time and, even though he worked for Angel, she just got the feeling that he wasn't too fond of vampires.
But she definitely missed Fred! And, okay, everybody missed Fred, and she sure didn't miss that Illyria at all. Harmony decided she missed the idea of Angel and Spike and Wes and Gunn and Fred more than the actual people—or vamps or gods . . . whatever.
She was attractive and personable and well-dressed and out-going . . . why didn't she seem to be able to make any friends?
Harmony sighed. She guessed she'd wash her hair again and then kill some time watching Italian Daytime TV until it was time to go to work this evening. Maybe something fun would happen at work, cause her off-time was certainly boring.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The appointment was for ten o'clock p.m. By 8:30, it was still sweltering and Harmony was feeling nostalgic, so she decided to go with SoCal chic tonight. Flipping past all of her gorgeous new Italian clothes, Harmony felt around in the back of the closet. She pulled out a fuchsia sundress. It had a tight top with spaghetti straps. The bias-cut skirt flared when she moved, but draped nicely to an inch or two above her knees when she stood still. Perfect!
Getting down on her hands and knees, she dug around in the back of the closet until she found the Candies mules that went with the dress. She looked at them fondly. A three-inch swath of fuchsia canvas was attached with studs to the wooden soles that featured an inch and a half platform and three and a half inch spike heels. She hadn't worn them in ages, but the simple style looked completely fresh—not at all nineties!
She pulled the sides of her hair up and back into a loose ponytail, allowing the back to hang down in a cascade of loose curls. Dangly tri-color gold earrings and a wide cuff bracelet completed her look. Oops! She almost forgot! Digging through the jumble of her jewelry box, she unearthed a thin gold ankle bracelet and fastened it on her left leg. Now she was ready!
She was to meet the Borgias in an alley behind a hot new nightclub and she figured that after she transacted her business, she could check out the club.
Alberto dropped her off in front of the nightclub and she told him to go. She had no idea how long she'd be at the club and she supposed she could get a taxi when she was ready to leave. Or, she could always call Alberto later.
A nearby alley ran parallel to the club. She considered. The meeting was supposed to take place behind the club, but this alley probably intersected the other one. If not, she'd find another way. It's not like she could get lost or anything. She was Harmony Kendall, Demon Liaison for Wolfram and Hart! Squaring her shoulders and smiling brightly, she entered the alley.
Harmony had thought the alley would go straight back, joining the perpendicular alley that she wanted, behind the club. However, when she reached what should have been the juncture of the correct alley, she found a warehouse there and the alley skewed off to the right. Hoping that it eventually led to the site of the meeting, Harmony continued to follow the narrow pathway.
It soon dog-legged to the left, which Harmony thought was the correct direction. She sighed. Of course, if it had been easy to find, they wouldn't have chosen it for the meeting.
Her heels clattered noisily on the stones of the alleyway. It was so quiet back here—the usual sounds of a large city were completely absent. Harmony had become so accustomed to the noise of Rome that she no longer noticed its presence . . . until it was missing. Harmony heard what sounded like a scuffle ahead and stopped walking to listen. Maybe she should go back the way she came and try to find another way to the correct alley? She was about to turn to retrace her steps when she heard a voice that sounded sort of familiar.
“Back! Back, you spawn of hell, for I have powers which you cannot hope to comprehend!”
It sounded like what's his name—Tucker's brother—and Harmony had a bone to pick with him! She hurried in the direction of the voice.
Rounding another turn to the left, Harmony saw—what was his name?—with his back against the lichen-covered wall of a brick building, keeping two vampires at bay with a large wooden cross. She had to do something!
Okay, he was a total dweeb and he almost got Spikey killed, but still . . . she couldn't just stand there and let someone she knew get killed. Well, she didn't actually 'know' him, but he was from Sunnydale. And, even if he did totally ruin the school play—in which she had beaten out Cordelia for the lead—with those stupid flying monkeys; Sunnydale survivors were few and far between and should probably stick together . . .
Harmony reached down and slipped off her right shoe. Geez, the unselfish things she did for others! Who knew what kind of icky stuff she'd be stepping in to rescue Andrew? That was his name! Why couldn't she ever remember that? She was usually good with names, including all those demon clan names—and some of them didn't even have any vowels! Of course, others seemed to be nothing but vowels . . .
Harmony crept closer to the vampire on her left. She held her breath so the sound wouldn't give her away and, yeah, she knew that she didn't really need to breathe, but she was just so used to doing it automatically . . . She tapped the vampire on the shoulder, and when he turned to her with a snarl, she hammered her wooden heel right into the middle of his chest. Would it work? Even with all the coats of varnish covering the wood? 'Cause if it didn't she'd be in big troub—
The vampire went 'poof' in a shower of dust and Harmony let out the breath she had been holding with a whoosh. The other vampire turned to see what had happened and Andrew took the opportunity to press his cross to the vamp's face. With a scream of agony, he clutched at his blistering face and Harmony used his inattention to stake him with her shoe.
Harmony put both hands on her hips and glared at Andrew. He was babbling something in some weird demony language that was mostly clicks and gutturals. Either he was in shock or he was possessed! Hoping it was shock, 'cause she had no idea what to do if it was possession, Harmony drew back her hand and slapped him.
“OW!” Andrew rubbed his cheek, but at least the crazy muttering had stopped. “What'd'ya do that for?”
“To snap you out of . . . well, whatever was wrong with you.”
He drew himself up to his full height, which was a quarter-inch less than Harmony's, and crossed his arms.
“That was the Klingon Oath of Fealty I was reciting! It was sort of a pledge 'cause you saved my life and all and . . . Harmony! What are you doing here?”
“I live here now, and that's beside the point! You ruined my performance in the school play with those stupid flying monkeys and that was my big chance, you moron! I was a Senior and I was really sure Cordy would get the lead because, well, she's Cordelia, but she didn't. It was my moment to shine and you ruined it, Andrew Wells! I should have let those vampires eat you for that alone, but then you came to LA and you let that crazy bitch get Spike and she almost killed him and she cut off his hands—”
Andrew was frantically shaking his head. “No, no . . . that totally wasn't my fault! Spike ditched me and he's just really faster and everything and I tried to find him—I really did . . .” He drew himself up again and stared right into Harmony's eyes. “I would never have let anything happen to Spike! If, well, there was anything I could have done, but I'm really, really sorry he got hurt. He was my friend. We went on a road trip together! And he talked to me and he . . . and he . . .”
Harmony found herself patting Andrew on the shoulder for some reason.
He looked at her with tears glistening in his eyes. “Is he . . . is Spike . . . okay?”
Harmony shrugged. “I don't know. I don't know what happened to any of them. The building got kinda destroyed, so I got a job here and . . . you work with Buffy and Willow and Mr. Giles and all—shouldn't you know?”
Andrew wrapped his arms around himself as if he were cold. “We haven't heard . . . from any of them. But I don't know if Angel or Wesley or . . . Spike. . . would contact us, you know?”
“So what are you doing here?” Harmony asked.
“I was supposed to meet with a demon clan leader—top secret Watcher's Council negotiations—but I got turned around and . . .”
“Ohmigod! The Borgias!”
“How did you know . . .”
“Because I was supposed to meet with them too, doofus!”
“Could we . . . like go together?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Harmony?”
“Yeah?”
“I'm sorry about the play. You were totally awesome as Juliet, if it matters.”
“I was?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks!”
“I'm sorry you didn't get to do your big death scene because of all all the screaming and the running away and all.”
“That's okay.”
Retracing their steps in search of the correct alley, Harmony thought that maybe she had made a friend in Rome—even if it was a lame-o geek like Andrew Wells.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Chapter 2
The music was pounding and the club was packed. Harmony and Andrew grinned at each other. They'd successfully concluded their business—now it was time to party!Harmony managed to snag a small table on the edge of the dance floor and they ordered Cosmopolitans . . . and then more Cosmopolitans.
Andrew gave her a loopy grin. “We make a pretty good team!”
After several Cosmopolitans, Andrew was becoming a tad effusive, so she was surprised to discover that she was nodding her head in agreement.
“Yeah, we do.”
She raised her glass and Andrew clicked his against hers, and the spilled Cosmo landed on his sleeve, not on her outfit, so it was all good.
The meeting with the Borgias had gone well. Harmony giggled. Andrew had been all authoritative and serious, explaining in Borgian why it would be good business for them to avoid an all-out war with this other clan with an unpronounceable name that may have been Klingon, and he was really convincing them! But then, he'd gone off on a tangent abut mattresses and sleeping with fishes and started talking like he'd just come back from the dentist and the Borgias were getting restless. So, Harmony gave them a suitcase of money and everybody was all happy again. They'd signed her contracts with green blood and everyone was satisfied with the outcome.
Andrew wasn't nearly as bad as she remembered him. Maybe it was living in Europe that made him go all suave bollo, but his . . . hair! His hair was terrible. If they were going to be hanging together, she'd definitely have to do something about his hair. It was way worse than his high school-hair, even. She wouldn't have thought that was possible, but—surprise—it was! She couldn't do anything about his hair right this minute though, so they might as well just have fun!
“Com'on—let's dance!”
“Dance?”
Andrew looked at her with such terror, that she quickly touched her forehead to make sure she hadn't accidentally slipped into vamp face. Nope. She was good.
Harmony grabbed his hand and dragged him into the mass of writhing bodies. She loved to dance. And it had been so long! When was the last time she had been out dancing? Oh, right! That totally lame Halloween party. She'd tried to get the party started . . . she really had! Everybody had been just standing around and she worked really hard to get people dancing and mingling, but then Lorney Tunes went all Incredible Hulk and that ended things in a hurry!
This was much better. They had a few more drinks and danced some more and they were totally having fun.
And then these two gorgeous girls who looked like models showed up and they were all over Andrew, which was kinda weird, 'cause you know . . . Andrew? Lame-o geek? But they seemed to know him and were really into him, so . . . good for Andrew! It's not like Harmony wanted him for herself or anything! He danced with both of them together, so Harmony sat back and ordered another Cosmo.
Andrew and his . . . friends danced for several songs and when they came back to the table all hot and sweaty—thankfully, she was a vampire and didn't sweat—her vampire senses sort of kicked in and . . . uh-oh!
Did he know that his gorgeous girls weren't really girls? When she could get him alone for a second, she'd have to tell him.
His friends finally got up to dance with someone else, so she told him. And poor Andrew got all flustered and embarrassed. He actually turned a shade of fuchsia that pretty much matched her dress!
Harmony felt really bad about bursting his bubble, and thought maybe she just shoulda kept her mouth shut? But then, that could have been real embarrassing for Andrew if he ever got . . . like . . . ewww—not going there! Harmony almost choked on her Cosmopolitan as she realized she was actually starting to like Andrew—as a friend!—and that she cared about his feelings.
When they came back to the table, Andrew told his 'girls' he'd catch them later and then he danced with Harmony some more.
They shared a taxi, and when he dropped her at her place first, Harmony found herself inviting him over to hang out. Imagine that!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Andrew showed up the next afternoon with coffee and bisotti and that was so totally cool, 'cause afternoons were so boring! Harmony sat cross-legged on the couch, and Andrew stretched out on the floor and propped his chin in his hands.
“So,” she said brightly, “do you still see any of your friends from high school?”
“Not really. I . . . um . . . didn't really have a lot of friends in high school. And then Warren and Jonathan got kinda killed and Xander's somewhere in Africa and I haven't heard from Spike, so . . . I guess that would be a big 'no'. I mean, I have a really important job with the Watcher's Council, but Mr. Giles is in England and Willow's in South America and Dawn's at school in Switzerland and Buffy's . . . somewhere . . . and Xander . . . oops. I already mentioned Xander. How about you?”
“Nope, me either. Well, Cordy's dead and Aura's in law school—hey! Maybe I can help her get a job when she gets out? And Aphrodesia's married and has like a gazillion kids and as far as everybody else . . . hey, big crater, huh?”
Harmony went into the kitchen and got them both cokes.
Andrew started telling her all about Rome and all the places she could go see and then he offered to show her around. Harmony talked him into going to a stylist with her tomorrow to do something with his awful hair. They both started talking at once and then burst out laughing. Harmony leaned forward.
“Oh. Em. Gee, Andy! We're totally bonding! We're like gal pals! This is awesome! You can teach me about life in Rome, and I can teach you how to dress better!”
“That would be so cool, Harm. Oh, and there's this guy I know that I can introduce you to—I think you'd really like Morty. And oh! Mark your calendar for September 30th—we've got a date!”
“A date? Like, you and me?”
“Yeah. We're going to the movies! It's the world premiere of Serenity . . .”
~*~ The End ~*~
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