Why Must It All Follow The Same...




Three bloody weeks of school left. I am currently behind on my work. But, not to worry! I WILL get everything done before I graduate! I WILL get straight A's! I always leave all my work at last, It's easy and fast to do all. Anywho, recently, I haven't been feeling well at all. I've been feeling mentally ill. There is something wrong with me. I have been acting strangely than I usually do. I have been getting over impatient than I usually do. I have been having more self-madness mood swings/tantrums. Many great things happen to me, as far as educational purposes. But nothing in my life in general. I'm like so bored; lonely; depressed...I am not happy. José told me that there is something inside of me that is trying to make it's way out. He told me I should take time to think about me; myself; to study myself. I find it very hard though. I can do it easily onto others. Everything is just pissing me off for some reason. Many people have been pissing me off and getting on my nurves. I am sometimes easily annoyed. I'm starting to hate even more being around humans too. I think I'm just going through all my stress again. I woke up with a headache this morning, and I shall go to bed with the same one again. I've had it all fuckin' day! I'm tired of having all these fuckin' headaches! But yeeeeeah, I think I'm under stress again I believe. I'm dealing with a lot of crap in my life. I get all tired and sleepy easily...I'm lacking from energy, I must suck energy from humans again soon. Another thing I noticed that get's me really and I mean really upset, is my fuckin' dad. Lately, he's been calling me, and bugging me, making it seem like he cares about me and shit. Nah! All he fuckin' wants is for me to make him his resume again. I hate him so much. Well, I guess I'm gonna make this one short. I don't think anyone reads them anyway lol. I gotta continue working on the 'Regulating Gas Prices' law, bill. I shall talk to myself again later. Take care all, if you decide. Pleasant nightmares.

Ah! Such Sweet Depression…
Well, uh, let's see here. Second entry to this blog. I said to myself I would write everyday in this thing...but I realized it would be boring, since I don't have much of a life, what am I gonna say, you know? Sooo yeeeeeah...what have I done or what has happened in the last 2 days you may ask? Well, first off, I can't remember much actually. Lately, I haven't been able to remember much of my recent actions or things I’ve done. My headaches are getting worse...it's gonna be about a year now with having headaches everyday. I've been seeing rainbows when I blink; is that normal? What does the rainbow mean! And why did it have to be a rainbow! Is there something that's trying to tell me something? And NO! I'm not gay! I won't be either! Neva!!! Stupid doctors keep giving me the same medication and keep telling me that I have headaches ‘cause I’m under stress. BAH! The fuckin’ medication doesn’t work, I take like over 1200 mg in one dose, and it still don’t work! Anyway...all I remember is getting really upset, I was having another one of my self-madness mood swing attacks. It was quite funny. I missed those. But, also, the cause of my mood swing, was someone I talk to a lot; though I can't mention it's name, because that person might get mad at me for mentioning it. Oh yeah, I just remembered, it just came through my head! Well, I wrote a 3 page essay for the 2004 National Institute of Health Science Education Partnership High School Student Research program; wow, that was long. So then, later they send some students for an interview, not all applicants were selected to be interviewed. So, I went to the Interview, I didn’t dress as they define it ‘casual,’ I dressed like I normally do. I was gonna dress nice, I was gonna wear my suit. But I said naah, I’ll probably the only one dressed up, ’cause usually that happens all the time. And so when I got there, sure enough, many almost all were dressed all nice, in suits and all…I was like bah! Oh well! We were all placed into number groupings before; I was placed in group 2. All of group 2 arrived; we were all given a sheet of paper with specific topics of which we had to make questions of. So, everyone was trying to write their best and yadi yadi ya! I was even trying to write my best. Turned out, that we didn’t have to turn in that paper. It was just a warm up preparation. So, we were all Interviewed as a group. We were asked self questions. Many of the other students would answer the questions as they thought they were expecting them to; which was stupid, they were freakin’ self questions! From one’s own opinion! Humans these days! Many were also showing off; over exaggerating. I did pretty well, my voice got a bit shaky, but I don’t think anyone noticed? Well, when I left, I didn’t think I would get it, ‘cause there were over 100 applicants who signed up. And only 25-30 students would be chosen for it. But I said to myself if I don’t get in, I won’t get upset or ass-chapped about it. If it’s meant to happen, then it’s meant to happen. So, they told us that they would inform us within the week. I received a letter from them on Tuesday, and guess what! I got chosen for it! I was like oh my gawd! (in a white girl accent) So, I was really happy and excited that I got in. One, because I did it all by myself! I wrote that 3 page essay all by myself, without anyone telling me anything or correcting my mistakes. And I did well on the interview! So, yeah! I was proud of myself, awww yay for me! Wow, I’m just realizing that I’m talking about what has happened in this entire week. So, um next…yesterday, we got our yearbooks, I came out a fair amount in it. And OMG! My mother! She freakin’ bought a page for me in the yearbook and put baby pics of me and all, so embarrassing, and then the pics that she chose! I was like great! Just wonderful! But I appreciate and understand her reasoning of why she did it. It’s a wonder why she never mentioned it to me. ’cause she knows that I wouldn’t let her. Damn her! I hate my senior pic! I came out all cheesy! My mother made me smile, I didn’t want to, but she made me! Gah! Then, last night, Celeste picked me up and we went to an NAU meeting type thing, we were desperate to get there for the finger food; we were so hungry! The finger food sucked! They only had sweets! I was expecting like weenies, like salty food! But I still ate the junk food they had there. Got me more hungry. The meeting was about an hour and a half, seemed like double it’s time to me. I wanted to leave so bad, my ass was starting to hurt. And well, we asked a few questions; turns out that we can’t rent an on campus apartment there if we’re incoming freshmen. Which sucks donkey duck tough nuts! We forcely have to stay in the residence halls. And share bloody infected bathrooms with other infected humans. That’s why Celeste and I wanna rent an apartment, ’cause yeah, the bathrooms are like the locker gym ones, where everyone shares, and knowing how the world is now, there are many lesbians who would wanna pull your curtain and see you, or they would take your stuff away. That’s why we’re gonna both get money this summer to save. I’m gonna get paid like $2000 for that program I’m gonna attend. How cool is that! Working, doing something you like and getting paid for it! We’re gonna work in labs and with real scientists and and torture animals hahahaa. Well, I think I’ve said enough. I will shut up now. I shall return. Pleasant nightmares everyone.

What a fuckin' day! As usual....wooooo
Ehh...hmmm...well, I'm feeling unbalanced as usual...so if you see that I'm always saying that I'm unbalanced it's 'cause I'm always unbalancced! K! So, don't say that I repeat myself; I mean, I do feel other things; "unbalanced" is just a general feeling. Anyway...I just created this so called "blog," so far, I do not know how to work my website...why do they make it difficult for creatures who do not know how to figure out certain things easily!!!! BAH! But, hopefully, I'll get some help from kind humans. I think I might just stick with my other site at freewebs haha, it's become like the ultimate ghetto free site; most humans are familiar with it. Anyway, again...my day was shitty as usual...school really brings me down; can't wait till I get the hell out of there! May 25th is when we graduate! YAY! Wooohooo!!! Wooooo...but yeah, can't wait till I leave this hatred hot city! Sooo what exactly am I suppose to write in this blog? Can I just talk about anything? Only dumbasses who seek attention would write e v e r y t h i n g, like every freakin' detail and all the shit they do, I'm more of a private hidden person I guess?...I wouldn't want strangers reading my personal shit; not like I would have things to write about anyway, I guess you gotta have a life first before you'd actually write about secret personal things. Nothing interesting happens to me in my other side of life. The only good things that happen are things that involve school and so on. The rest is shit. Well, since I got nothing to write about, I'll shut up. Soooo...talk to you humans later. We shall meet again; until then, take care if you want, and may you always have pleasant nightmares muhahahahahaaaa. O_o