A Peculiar Habit
Buffy’s in the kitchen, humming to herself while making a late night snack when she hears Faith grumbling from the living room. She smiles to herself and places the finished sandwiches on a tray with drinks, then makes her way into the living room to find Faith sitting on the sofa with her feet kicked up on the coffee table and a laptop computer resting on her thighs.
“Dammit,” Faith swears beneath her breath.
“What, did you get another virus from a porn site?” Buffy asks tongue in cheek. She gingerly sits down next to Faith and places the tray on the table, then hands a sandwich over to Faith before resting back with one of her very own.
“Quit judging, B. You know as well as I do that I quit lookin’ at porn once you started doin’ me on a regular basis.”
Buffy finishes chewing her mouthful and swallows, then looks up at the ceiling and smiles a self-deprecating smile. “My girlfriend is so charming.”
“Yeah I am,” Faith mumbles, her mouth full of sandwich. She taps a few keys and grumbles once again after swallowing. “This is horseshit!”
Buffy freezes just as she’s about to take another bite of her sandwich and pulls it back so she can look down at it cautiously.
“I’m pretty sure it’s turkey and mustard, actually.”
Faith chuckles but is clearly distracted by the computer on her lap. “Shut up, B, you know you rock a mean sammich. That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about this goddamn website!” She bangs the side of the monitor and Buffy winces as the picture flickers out and back in.
“Easy on the computer, baby. Giles will get mad if he has to replace another one this month.”
“Yeah, well I still think none of you guys shoulda taught me how to use it in the first place. All it does is frustrate me anyhow.”
Buffy chuckles softly and takes a bite of her sandwich before setting it back on the tray and scooting closer to Faith so that she can look over her shoulder. “Maybe I can help. What seems to be the problem?”
Faith sighs and shakes her head. “It’s this website. Been tryin’ to get to it for like three days but all I keep gettin is this crappy white error screen.”
Buffy looks at the screen and reaches over, tapping a few keys. She frowns when she gets the same response. “Must be the site. Look, there’s a note. They’re switching servers and are experiencing a longer than expected down time.”
“Yeah, well so am I,” Faith says grumpily.
Buffy eyes her suspiciously and leans in even closer so that she can see why Faith would be so upset over a silly web . . .
“Buffynfaith.net?” Buffy asks, her voice going up an octave. She looks to Faith for an explanation and . . . yep, Faith looks guilty.
“Promise you won’t get mad?” Faith asks innocently.
And really, how bad could it be? Other than that someone has created a website about her and Faith . . .
“Let’s hear it,” she says evenly, not making the promise Faith is looking for.
Faith eyes her warily for a minute before breaking out into a full grin. “It’s porn!” she says and quickly continues when she sees fire starting to burn behind Buffy’s eyes. “Not the video kind. Chill, B. It’s stories.”
Buffy raises an eyebrow in question. “Like those cheesy stories in Xander’s Playboy magazines?”
“No, like a million times better cos they’re all about hot chicks with superpowers, namely me and you,” Faith says with a smirk.
“But how the hell do people know about us?” Buffy asks, confused and slightly worried.
Faith shrugs. “Dunno. Save the world enough times, people take notice. You need to read this stuff though, B. It’s hot as fuck. These chicks got us gettin down and dirty in more ways than I could possibly imagine. Or actually, I can imagine it pretty easy cos I’m a perv.”
“Yes you are,” Buffy says blankly, then shakes her head. “This is weird, Faith. I’m not talking a little weird either. I’m talking peculiar. Odd. A veritable cornucopia of oddness. People are writing about us having sex and they’ve never even met us!”
“Who cares?” Faith says with a shrug. “It’s entertaining, it don’t hurt anyone, and it gave me the idea to do that thing to you last night that you liked so much.”
Buffy’s eyes go wide and she looks from the monitor to Faith. “You mean that thing with the ice cubes and your tongue?”
“Yup,” Faith replies matter-of-factly.
Buffy gazes back to the computer, then takes it from Faith’s lap and starts typing furiously. A few seconds later she hits enter and the computer beeps, refreshing the page. Sure enough, the site pops back up, functioning perfectly.
“How did you do that?” Faith asks, amazed.
Buffy shakes her head dismissively as her eyes scan over the screen. “It’s something Willow taught me. Now: story with the ice cubes. Find it.”
Faith grins and takes the computer back on her lap.
It might be odd, but it sure is fun.
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