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WARNING: I overuse the word Fuck.9/14/02 I am changing URL's. For all 200 of you who have visited, the new one is HardwarePrincess.com. I just couldn't believe the name wasn't taken, so I had to get it. Ta, Angelfire! 7:10:39AM 9/13/02 That mouth was made to suck my kiss  I have a thing for Anthony Keidis. I've heard he's bi, but hey -whatever. There are turning points. Ever since I saw him at Ritchie Coliseum in the early 80's, I have been marginally obsessed. Since then I've seen about 5 RHCP shows round and about. I loved the long hair, the tattoos, the teeth, the bod-DAY. I love the new short brown hair. This guy can't look bad - he has good bones (*smile to mom*) I'm not so obsessed that I know who writes the songs- I think most are credited to the band, or maybe all. But I love Otherside, Scar Tissue, and it feels to me like he wrote them. And I feel like I could've written them. I wish I could meet this guy, just sit on the beach and drink six and smoke cigarettes and talk. I went to join the fan club, but they wanted something like $25 and I was like - uh, no. I wanted to write an email that said "Dammett, Blackie, how can you charge so much?" but I didn't have the balls. Did you know we are the same age? Ya-huh. 1962. He (possibly) needs a woman, and I need a man. If you're ever searching for your name on the internet, Anthony, and you run across this blog, email me. You probably won't be sorry.1:17:56AM 9/12/02 Not the Doctor I think I have passed into the *anger* stage. 11:05:46PM 9/11/02 You come swimming into view I can't keep watching the TV, it makes me cry. I didn't lose anybody that day. But the pain these families are experiencing reminds me of two men I have lost, under very different circumstances. Five reasons why I loved you: 1. You had a strawberry patch 2. You taught us how to skip rocks 3. You let us snitch from your candy jar in the den 4. You taught us how to feed a horse sugar cubes 5. You always smelled like cigars Five reasons why I loved you: 1. You let us sit out the back window of the station wagon 2. You always left the keys in the car 3. You slipped me candy bars when Mom wasn't looking 4. You let us watch scary movies 5. You loved my children as much as I did Hope you guys are happy in Heaven. Got the five things idea from this imploding heart. 9:53:30PM 9/10/02 I was going in to work at noon. I'd just come downstairs after my shower and the kids were at school. I turned on some show, and was messing around drinking coffee when the news came on. I sank onto the couch, watching the horror of a live terrorist attack on my country. I watched as they explained that tower one had fallen. Nobody had any idea yet that tower two was about to go. It was all live. Then I, and many others, watched in disbelief as the second one went down. Like a fucking domino. The noise, the screams, the dust, the smoke. The people running and falling and jumping. Disbelief in the voices of those reporting. I am not religious. I only pray about certain things - I think God is too busy. But tomorrow morning my son and I will pray that the survivors and families get some relief. Just like we did for Oklahoma City. And all of these. What is it like to be a kid today? Is it scarier? Is it the same? I remember being frightened about things, but somehow I don't think it's the same. To all the people who helped, and reported, and called from inside, and made sandwiches, and went in to rescue people, and let someone get in front of you on that staircase (especially those last two,) Thank You. God bless you. 11:27:23PM 9/09/02 ...ipconfig/all... The fabulous home network that worked for one day went down. I had to take Abby's computer off and reconnect mine only. Fuck. Because "T" thot I had to have another NIC, my IP addresses got all screwed up somehow, I had to call the cable people and have them switch it around. He also forgot, apparently, to reset IE to not dial up; the dial-up box kept popping up all the time. Only took an hour. *sigh* "J" was really coming on strong at work; he wants us to be a "team" and be "on the same page" and blah de blah. I told him I am all for what's "right" and "fair" and if I have all the info, I can decide. I started watching "B" today and she does take forever to do anything. I think it's just becuz she's old and her mind is somewhere else. But she's nowhere near the other old lady I worked with at the old job. It took that one ten minutes to walk from the front of the store to the back! I told him I just wasn't sure whether I was going to stay in retail or not - I wish I could find a job in computers somehow, but I'm a designer and HTML coder, and there's no call for that in this burg. I'd have to commute, and lose more kid-time. Life is one big weenie. I think I'm going to have to move, maybe next year B4 Johnny gets too old. But how can I take him away from everything he's ever known? My folks made us move all the time. We moved 5 times by the time I reached High School. I never could keep any friends for any length of time. I don't know if that's specifically my problem, but I swore to try different things to try and give my kids more stability. Then again, I'm much kinder and more easy-going than my parents, so maybe that makes up for it? And they will be OK? Shit. Fuck. 8:39:40PM 9/08/02 Blah. Blah blah blah. Worked all day, came home. Got a call from the alarm people who said the alarm went off at work, could I meet the cops down there? I did. Came home. Got another call. Went down there. Noticed the A/C was blowing a banner around in the front of the store. Motion must be setting off alarm. Shut off A/C. No calls so far. Jeez! "T" got the network running. Had to buy another card- who knew? Thanks "T." It's still acting funny, but it's much faster and it works. Abby's still hobbling around, but says it feels better. Ordered the software for my camera. It has to come snail-mail. Poo. But it's coming. Soon you will see my life in all its glory. Domain etc. will have to wait. Spent too much networking the comps and buying Yu-gi-Oh cards for Johnny & Isaac. But soon - soon I will be hardwareprincess.com. No word from the ex about moving down here. I think he's changed his mind. Prolly got back with his GF. I'm prolly stuck with this gigantic mortgage and will have to dig out of the hole- again. No word from "B." But after the first night, the open-wound thing seems to have gone away. The real test: play some of the songs that remind me of him. Haven't had the balls yet. The cold is-a-comin' and I am so not ready. Another freezing winter in the old farmhouse on Park. Can't find any of Johnny's long pants n' stuff. Where did I put them?? Where are my space heaters? How do you put a wick in a big fat round kerosene heater? Need... insulation. 10:43:12PM 9/07/02 Had a long and very boring day at work. "J" must suspect that I'm totally not with the bathroom-sniffing program, cuz he sat me down and told me how we have to present a united front and how he wants me to be involved in all this other stuff, etc.etc. My impression: covering zee ass. Went to see the Daycare Swindlers cuz they were in town and my kids go to see them all the time. It was kinda fun, I'm sure I was the oldest person there besides the actual band. Losta cute little pre-teens with pink hair. No alcohol (come on now!) But it was cool to hang with my daughter and son for a coupla hours. Saw a bunch of their friends who I hadn't seen in a while. Abby got a flat tire and sprained her ankle on the way home. Jeez! "T" from work is coming over to see if he can get this network up and running...wish me luck. Tried to get my domain registered yesterday but couldn't get the forms to do what I wanted them to do. I freakin' hate paypal. It is such a pain in the ass. And how was your day? 8:36:15AM 9/06/02 I am back up! Who knew it could make me so happy? I called the tech line at my cable provider and BAM! a guy, whoever it was, got me back online. I LOVE HIM. How many addictions do I have? Scared. 11:15:46PM 9/06/02 Well, what did I get done? Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nothing. I found a CD burner, which I got installed, then burned one. Then Abby and I get the bright idea that we're going to network our two computers together, so she can use the cable modem and not tie up the phone line all the time. So we get an ethernet cable and a hub and go at it. It is now 6 hours later and she still can't get online, and guess what? Neither can I! Somehow we screwed up everything. Mine was working OK until we let Mark have a go at it. He's my son's best friend, and pretty good at computers..we were desperate...I thot he would pull it off. But when he was done, neither one worked! ACK! Now what am I gonna do? I had big plans for getting my domain and downloading MT tonite, but - NO. I'll figure it out somehow, I always do *rolling eyes towards the heavens* 10:15:17PM 9/06/02 I eat salsa and chips at 8:30 in the morning. Am I a freak or what? Hey -it's my day off. Things I should do today: Cut the grass Pay that ticket Register the car Take a nap Pay the cable bill Pay the electric bill Things I want to do today: Register the domain I thot of (and it's available) Download and install MT Buy a new CD burner Get the XP driver I need for my camera How geeky can I get? Apparently, very. 8:38:07AM 9/05/02 Oh please give me a little more, and I'll push away those baby blues Blind Melon Vodka and Diet Pepsi Twist with Lemon rules! My kitty has a way of walking between my feet as I go about my bizness. I make sure her bowls are filled, and she has water, and she gets her "treat," which is a saucerful of milk, every night when I get home. But still she wants attention. If you don't do what she wants, she grabs your ankles and tenderly bites you. You know, just to steer you in the right direction. I love her, but it pisses me off. How am I supposed to know which thing she wants? And I already deal with Johnny and what he wants. Maybe I shouldn't have a cat. Maybe I am a bad person. Whatever. 11:55:01PM 9/04/02 Kill me. Kill me. 12:27:35AM 9/04/02 HOLY CRAP The way things are going at work I don't think I'm gonna be a hardware princess much longer. The shit I witnessed today is just psycho. I know you won't believe me, but here goes: "J," the manager, has in for "B." She is an older lady, kinda set in her ways, but useful cuz she knows alot about the place, and she can cover the front end when I'm busy. She moves kinda slow, and has her own way of doing things, but WTF, right? She's nice and easy to get along with. "J" thinks she's lazy, and that she disappears for periods of time and hides out so she won't have to work. He's been trying to document her goof-offs, I guess so he can fire her. Well, today he tells me that she was in the bathroom for 12 minutes. He timed her! Then he tells me that after she left the bathroom, he went in there and smelled the air to see if she had a BM. (He figured that might take 12 minutes.) Holy fucking Jesus Christ in a handbasket. He looks at me and says all proud-like: "That's just one of my tricks." WHAAAAAT!! I just stared at him. What can you say to such a disgusting thing? I asked him what he thot she was doing in there. He says, "hiding, trying to get out of work." Of course I told "B." If that's what this operation does to catch people goofing off, count me out. I knew it was weird there, but- I've been looking for another job for about 3 weeks now. "B" is looking now also. I wonder what they say about me behind my back? Shit, I hope they haven't gone into the bathroom after me- there are a few times when they might've dropped dead. 11:43:34PM 9/03/02 I am downloading a bunch of songs for my sister who wants them on a CD. I am reading thru my back posts to find all the bad things I hated about "B." I went to the staff meeting at work, and managed to blend into the background, mostly. I talked to Abby's boyfriend, Danny, all day long. I was off, and he is unemployed. So he actually came downstairs today and talked to me! Usually he plays Diablo all day long and ties up my phone line. I thot it was pretty brave of him. He gave me some good advice about "B." Since it was from a guy's POV, I am believing it. In other words, life goes on. 10:34:01PM 9/03/02 This is a bummer. Link from Bread. Cool. Check out the flash movies. Link from fark. 9:09:41PM 9/03/02 Thank God for real people You know the best part about the whole weekend? After we woke up the next morning, I went downstairs to brush my teeth. The bathroom was taken, so I waited outside. Out comes "L," with his cute little dreadlocked head and wearing nothing but boxer shorts; we look at each other, and both of us break into big shit-eating grins. 9:15:18AM 9/02/02 "You don't love her." "Well, I love parts of her!" There's Something About Mary I called up and asked for my watch. He said he would deliver. I came out from work to find watch and T-shirt thrown across the front seat of my car as if he did a drive-by. Pain. pain. pain. deep pain. crying. a narrow room of sadness. how could I have fooled myself so badly? Here is what I am telling myself: I am really a lucky person. I get alot of chances most people probably don't get. I have a lot of people who care about me. I have a lot of people who love me. Even if trying stuff gives you pain, it's OK. I knew what I was getting into. Hey it'll make a good memory. Hey it makes a good memory. I'm a big girl, I can take it. SUCK IT UP. theleowoman Now who wouldn't want this? So what if I cuss like sailor? 10:29:50PM Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Culpeper, in town, Kristin, Female, 36-40! all words on the site and all pics on the gallery pages are my intellectual property and may not be reproduced without my consent. please don't steal them - put up a link! |
