For those of you who are ONLY CHILD types, the following story won't make much sense. You have to come from a family of multiple children with major age differences to understand.
I am the oldest of 6 children. For almost 11 years, I was the only child. Then the brothers and sisters begin to arrive on a regular basis. I guess my mother had forgotten by then that children are a pain to have and keep. After almost 20 years, she managed to even it out by having 3 boys; then 2 more girls.
As I reached my teen years, I had 3 little brothers. No teenager wants to be embarrased by being around their little brothers. Going anyplace meant that I got to sit in the back of the car with all 3 of them. Yuck!
One winter, when I was about 15 or 16 years old, we went to Kentucky to visit my step-fathers's family. At the time, my step-father was comtemplating re-locating to Kentucky. Luckily, we returned to Georgia. But while there visiting his family, a great-uncle gave each of my brothers an OLD, DIRTY fedora hat. Of course they wore them all the time. Couldn't get them away from them.
Finally, it was time to head back to Georgia. In the car, on the way back, I am trapped in the back seat with 3 dirty-hatted brothers. One problem....Passersby could only see me and 3 moving hats. My brothers were small and did not show up above the car's windows. A teenager's delimma. Someone might see me. I would be SO embarrased! Keep in mind that we were 2 states away from home.
I then did the only thing I could under the circumstances. One by one, I took the hats and threw them out of the car window. I think my mother was glad because she didn't stop me. And it was the dead of winter and no chance of going back after the 3 hats that were spread along the Kentucky highways.
One evening, I was Instant Mailing/Messenging back and forth with my brother and his girl friend. At one point, I started teasing him about his cap (He ALWAYS wears a cap). I suddenly received a message from them that said "He Wants His Hat Back!". Hat, HAT??? What? I had no idea what he was talking about. I continued on with the exchange of messages without mentioning the ?HAT?. After I got off the computer, I called my mother and asked what in the world my brother was talking about. My mother then reminded me of the event some 35 years before.
I guess I should have been ashamed of myself. No, I wasn't. But I did have an idea. I dedicated myself to "getting his hat" back. Or at least A HAT! I decided to make it a Christmas present. I had about 6 months to get ready.
First, I combed all the used clothing/recycle stores in the area. No used hats. DRAT! So off to Sears to buy a new one. In the middle of summer, there was a selection of 4 fedoras. 2 brown and 2 dark gray. Not even a black one in sight. So I buy a new hat$$$$. Now to make it old.
How do you make a dark gray hat, BLACK? In my case, I used black shoe polish. Good start, but a lot more work to do to make it look OLD and WORN. I started off by leaving it outside in the weather for a month. Still not right. Got It! COFFEE. For a week or so, I gave it my left over coffee each day. Kinda let it filter through. Amazing the difference that made. Now to take some of the stiffness out of it. Tried a cement block but that didn't do the trick. Finally, I put it out in the driveway and parked the car on it. Good Results in case you ever need to know how to mash a hat. After its time under the car tire, I brought it in for buffing and general care. I made sure it always had some weight on it when I wasn't ageing it.
As an extra messure, I made a trip to AAA to get a map of Kentucky. Then I marked it up as I would have if I were really GOING AFTER THE STUPID HAT! By this time, it's winter in Virginia and there's plenty of dry leaves to add to the plot.
Guess who's name I drew for Christmas exchange? Boy was he going to get a present. Actually, 2 of them.
Finally, in December, I packed up everything, including the box with the aged hat, map and leaves in it. I added a note asking my brother if AFTER 35 YEARS, HE WAS SATISFIED, since he had his HAT back. Time to ship everything home for Christmas since I wasn't getting down home in 1999. Then I wait.
The following pictures are of my "little" brother and his gift. It took 35 years, but I got him his hat. And I enjoyed every minute of it.
