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Another teardrop on the pillowcase.

This is me. I'm feeling pretty depressed lately. Frustrated with work, with love, with life.
My best friends are a bunch of people I don't see very much. I've stopped going out as much. I turn down offers to hang out.
There are few people I can care about. I have to not care about people so much. That's a big problem I have.
It hurts to care about someone SO much and to know its not returned or returned as deeply as I feel.
I find myself without any motivation to do anything. I don't want to go out, I really don't. I don't want to talk to people.
I don't want to go to work. I don't want to look at people or have people look at me. I don't want to meet someone and find a new friend.
I get attached too fast and care too much. James told me that much, something I knew, but really hits hard when someone else points it out.
I was stupid to think I could try dating someone again.
I am stupid to continue talking to someone I feel so much for and will never have.
To be reminded every day of your standing with them, but have these hints, reminders, flirts, memories. Pain.
False hope is the worst. Thinking there are feelings there that aren't.. wow.

I can't imagine all the people that you know And the places that you go When the lights are turned down low And I don't understand all the things you've seen But I'm slipping in between You and your big dreams Its always you In my big dreams And you tell me that its over Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers And you're restless, and I'm naked You've gotta get out You can't stand to see me shakin' No Could you let me go? I didn't think so And you don't wanna be here in the future So you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past And you don't wanna look much closer Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope You had sent into the sky by now had crashed And it did Because of me And then you bring me home Afraid to find out that you're alone And I'm sleeping in your living room But we don't have much room to live I had these dreams that I learned to play guitar Maybe cross the country Become a rock star And there was hope in me that I could take you there But dammit you're so young Well I don't think I care And if I hurt you Then I'm sorry Please don't think that this was easy And then you'd bring me home Cause we both know what its like to be alone And I'm dreaming in your living room But we don't have much room to live And Konstantine is walking down the stairs Doesn't she look good Standing in her underwear And I was thinkin' What I was thinkin' We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere My Konstantine came walking down the stairs And all that I could do is touch her long, blonde hair And I've been thinkin' But it hurts me thinking that these nights When we were drinking no they never got us anywhere No This is because I can spell confusion with a 'k' And I can like it Its to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it Its to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car When the first star you see may not be a star I'm not your star Isn't that what you said What you thought this song meant And if this is what it takes Just to lie with my mistakes And live with what I did to you And all the hell I put you through I always catch the clock Its 11:11 And now you want to talk Its not hard to dream You'll always be my Konstantine Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do No they'll never hurt you like I do No, no, no no no no no no This is to a girl who got into my head With all the pretty things she did Hey You know You keep me up in bed This is to a girl who got into my head With all these fucked up things I did Hey Maybe Baby you could keep me up in bed My Konstantine You spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen And I said Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? Did you know I missed you? I miss you And then you bring me home And we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no And you'll kiss me in your living room I know I know you miss me in your living room Cause these nights I think maybe that I'll miss you in my living room We don't have much room I said does anybody need that room? Because we all need a little more room To live My Konstantine