As I laid Louis on the bed I had a sense of deja-vu. Was it only last night that we had made love? It seemed like an eternity away, and yet at the same time I could remember every detail as clearly as if it had been a moment passed.

He must have been thinking the same thing, because as I cuddled up beside him he smiled and said:
"It's been too long."

"An eternity," I agreed, kissing him gently, then more insistantly as he responded to my kisses with a growing passion. "You *are* becoming abandoned," I murmured when we broke the kiss, looking down into his stunning eyes.

"Yes, I am," he agreed, and grinned suddenly. Before I quite knew what had happened he had pushed me down and was straddling me. "You know, Lestat," he remarked conversationally, as he stretched out to pin my arms to the bed, "you like to be in control too much."

"I do?" I asked innocently, wondering what he was up too, and trying to pretend my heart wasn't racing with desire. Having him on top of me like this was delicious. Naturally I could have broken loose with the minimum of effort, but there was no reason on earth why I would want to. I'd had to survive for years on the brief kisses he would allow me to steal from his lips, now he was actually taking the lead in a love-making session. It was almost too delicious to contemplate.

"Well....." Louis said softly. "I thought you liked to be in control, but maybe I was wrong."

"What do you mean?" I asked, still keeping up the pretence of composure, trying to think of anything but the weight of him pressing me down, his thighs aganst my hips, his mass of black hair falling around his shoulders, the scent of him.....

He smiled with a heartstopping sweetness and I couldn't take it any longer, "Oh, Louis..." I moaned, arching up in his hold to be kissed. He complied immediately, kissing me with a heavy softness that left me drugged with the pleasure of it. Then his lips brushed blindly over my face, his eyes lidded as he kissed his way down my throat and to my shoulder.

"Don't drink...." I reminded him.

"You hardly need to tell me that," he laughed softly, and then I felt his teeth against my skin, scraping it, nibbling, not drawing blood, but sending my into ecstasy with every little contact. I was shivering with pleasure when he raised his head.

"Louis?" I managed to ask, confused by the way he was looking at me. He had a strange secretive look on his face that made my heart turn over.

"You could easily get free," he stated. "Why aren't you trying to?"

"I like being kissed," I told him, grinning a little, but the grin faded abruptly when he sat up, putting himself at a distance from my hungry mouth, although he still held me down.

"I'm not kissing you now," he pointed out.

"Why did you stop?" I pouted, "are you playing a game with me, Louis?"

"Yes." He laughed and bent to kiss me fleetingly before pulling back up again. "Why aren't you trying to get loose, Lestat?" He regarded me tenderly, but with a measure of amusement. "Is it because you're relishing my taking the lead for once?" I flushed slightly at that, not realising that I'd been that transparent, and his lips curved in a brief smile before he added: "Or is it that you *like* being held down, you like being dominated for a change?"

I thought about it, then I thought about it some more. Finally I gave up the attempt. "I have no idea," I admitted. "I just know that I like whatever you do to me, I like this game you're playing, even though it's driving me insane, I like it when I don't understand you, and I certainly don't understand you now...... I love you, Louis." "I love you too," he smiled at me. "And I want to give you the pleasure you gave me last night, I want to take you the way you took me." He paused then and lay down on top of me, letting go of my arms so that I could hold him, his next words were delivered in a whisper as he nuzzled my neck:
"I'm just not sure how....."

"You never made love to a man when you were mortal?" I asked curiously, turning to look at him. He buried his head in my shoulder, ostensibly to kiss it, but I suspected he was trying not to meet my eyes.

"You must know I didn't," he said softly. "Why do you think I was nervous last night? I'd never thought...." His voice trailed off softly.

"Not even with Armand?" I asked, trying not to be jealous. "I remember reading that you said no intimacy with him would have been repellant."

" I didn't mean *that*!" He looked deliciously flustered. Then his honesty took over and he blushed hotly. "Well, maybe I did mean that but....." He stopped again and glared at me. "I don't know. Lestat. I don't think I knew what I wanted, what was possible.... I... oh, God!"

He buried his head against my chest and I could feel the heat of his blush through my shirt. I laughed, I couldn't help it. He was irresistable. "Don't laugh at me," a muffled voice said although I could hear that his own voice wasn't exactly steady.

"You've got so shy all of a sudden, Louis!" I said, reaching down to brush the silky hair. "I liked it more when you were being agressive....."

"Brat," a breathy voice replied, and then I felt something graze against my skin, and looked down to see Louis undoing my shirt buttons with his teeth.

"That'll take forever, Louis!" I exclaimed and was cut off.

"Lestat!"

"Oui?"

"Shut up!"

Part Eight: (Lestat)

"Oh, *now* you're in control again?" I asked and was silenced by a fierce kiss, Louis biting at my lips, his tongue forcing mine back, stretching my mouth open. I realised for the first time why he had complained I was crushing him earlier. Now *I* couldn't breathe. But just when I thought I was going to *have* to force him off me, he released my mouth.

"Talking, talking," he reprimanded me. "And when you're *not* talking you're writing another book! Well, for once in your life you can be silent, Lestat!" He grinned down at me, eyes flashing and I gasped at the sight of him, so gorgeous, mine. He laughed, and covered my mouth with a slender hand.

"I know what you're thinking," he told me. "Now, lie still, Lestat!" But I found that command as impossible to obey as the last one. His fangs scraped against my skin as he resumed his removal of my shirt, then his fingernails scratched my back as he pulled it off.

He rained kisses over my chest, my shoulders, sucking, biting at my nipples, tracing the lines of my ribs with his tongue. And he didn't stop there. Time slowed down, speeded up, became meaningless. And I was writhing naked on the bed underneath him, constantly being held down, prevented from squirming, then released just as I thought I could stand it no longer. I had never expected this of Louis, never realised how intimately he knew me. All those times I had stolen kisses, or taken him in my arms I had had no idea that he was capable of this. If I had.... oh, if I had, what then? How could I have resisted him?

"Louis! Ohhhh, Louis!" I moaned his name helplessly, a slave to the sensations that were kindling within me. He was still fully clothed and I wanted to feel him naked against me, to rip his clothes off and take him as I had last night. But he was holding me, controling me, and my body was not my own any longer. He owned me, completely.

I gasped in pleasure, arching my back to press closer to him and then suddenly stiffened. For a moment I held still, fighting with all my might, and then the pain crashed down on me. An avalanche, overwhelming me. I cried out, and for an instant saw green eyes widen before I lost control.

The pain had claimed me as utterly as Louis had done, invaded my body as totally. And I knew there was only one way to ease it. Clothes tore, ripping loudly as I tried to get at him, stripping him almost without realising what I was doing. Blood pounded in my ears, the scent of it overwhelmed me. Louis was naked beneath me, his silky skin flushed with it.

Blood.

And then my fangs were in his neck and I was drinking from him, it flowed through me thickly, delicious elixir. The pain seemed to retreat for a moment and then he forced me away and it was back, raging with frustration. I lunged for him and he fought me off, both of us tearing at each other wildly, furiously. He wouldn't let me drink from him, his refusal to allow it aiding him strength to force me away. But it couldn't last, he couldn't keep me back for long. And then he went rigid and spasmed as if linked into an electric current. The blood lust still consumed me, and unlike him I had no reason to hold back, but something was keeping me in place, even though my body was on fire with need. The thought that he was hurting, and the knowledge that if I took the blood I wouldn't have what I wanted more.

Suddenly Louis was on me again, slamming me back harder than he had before, he straddled me for the second time as I thrashed beneath him, trying to fight free. Then he bent his head to my neck in a graceful, swaying movement, and bit down hard. Blood spurted and I groaned in agony, and ecstasy, disappointment and relief. But he didn't drink. He kept his fangs sunk in my flesh and the blood was soaking the bedclothes, but he didn't swallow, only let it run out over his mouth as he gasped with the barely held-back desire.

I could feel the wound closing, my prenatural healing abilities coming to the fore, slowly the flow of blood came to a halt. And then I realised that we were both breathing hard, and the body on top of me was warm and aroused and, almost before I knew what we were doing, we had wrapped ourselves around each other and were writhing in exquisite pleasure.

Part Nine: (Louis)

When the pleasure took over I found it hard to remember any of my intentions. I thrilled to the feeling of Lestat's hardened body, not cold stone, the marble god, but warm and pliant. However it was accomplished, this was what the reining in of the blood-lust had achieved. The gift of this joining, when no other was permitted.

But having been brought by this miracle to doubt so much I had been told, I had come to doubt my own decision as well. Would taking Lestat's blood really rip the humanity I so cherished from me? Lestat had believed it would, and so had I. But now, for this first time I contemplated drinking from him, wondered if it was *so* dangerous after all. My contemplation was more than abstract, and in other cirumstances I might have carried out the impulse there and then. But ironically, now that I considered the option, I lacked the neccessary motivation. I knew there were other ways for us to be close.

I was becoming dangerously carried away, and Lestat had lost control completely. Were he in my position I had no doubt that our love would have already been confirmed in the union of our bodies. But my inexperience held me back. And I remembered something else as well.

Lestat whimpered as I moved off him, but when he felt me leaving the bed he gasped and turned to face me. His eyes were huge and luminous, betraying his need, and his skin flushed. His lips seemed to part involuntarily as he gazed at me, and when he spoke it was in a soft urgent voice:
"Don't leave me!"

"I'm not leaving," I assured him. "Just hold on, Lestat. Give me a moment." I searched hurriedly through the top drawer of the cupboard we shared, riffling through a vast array of beauty products. Lestat buys them to conceal his pallor and to pose more effectively as a mortal, or so he claims. There's still a lot of the rock star in him and I suspect he likes making himself more beautiful than he already is. And he was very beautiful now. I smiled tenderly at him as I returned to the bed and all but fell into his arms. My golden angel, flaming with desire.

He moaned and sighed with pleasure as I stroked him possessively. I wasn't fierce in my lust. I may have taken the initiative for once, but I didn't emulate the wilder forms of love-play. Not that I couldn't conceive of them. My dreams had been full of erotic images, and I had indulged in speculation while Lestat caressed me in the shower. But while there were things that I would have liked him to do to me, I couldn't conceive of treating him with anything other than gentleness, especially in an act as intimate as this. It is not in my nature to dominate, always I have been the submissive partner. Even when mortal, in the partnerships that required a sexual dominence of me, I remained emotionally dependent. In his own way Lestat is dependent too, he clings to me, even when he denies it. But he is fire where I am water. I have come to accept this of myself.

However, water is not an element to be disregarded. It is yielding, I admit. But it is also difficult to catch hold of, and keeps its own seasons and rages. I have my own strength, when I choose to use it.

I held Lestat in my arms firmly, not allowing him to wriggle loose as I explored his body with questing fingers. When he was helpless and sighing beneath me again I reached for the object of my earlier search.

"What were you looking for?" Lestat asked muzzily, turning his head a little.

"Just this," I told him as my right hand, now coated with the slippery oil slid over the flat of his stomach.

"Oh!" his eyes widened and I felt the muscles contract suddenly under my touch. "Louis, that's cold! What is it?"

"Massage oil," I said softly, hoping he wouldn't ask me where I had got it. Lestat likes to think me immune to the more sensuous pleasures, or did until recently. One of the reasons I had refused to move in with him after our reunion was the fear that he would tease me about them. The vampire skin has great sensitivity and I had discovered that certain things heightened that sensitivity. However, 'where' was not the question he asked.

"Why, Louis?" he asked, rubbing up against me like a cat. "Not that I'm not enjoying it," he showed his fangs in an sudden grin. "But what *for*....?"

I caught myself laughing and buried my head in his silky hair, trying to get control. It wasn't as difficult as I had thought. Touching him this way was still so new to me that I couldn't laugh for long as my hands glided over the smooth skin of his abdomen. "Why are you laughing?" he asked rather huskily.

"Lestat...." I sighed, and began again. "I may have never made love to a man before, but I'm not a *complete* innocent. There are some things that you, with all *your* experience, are obviously unaware of."

"What?" he gasped, though the gasp had more to do with the fact that my caresses had become more intimate, than my words. I cuddled closer, continuing to stroke him, and simultaneously transfering a lot of the thick oil to his body.

"I suspect it's the result of the fact that none of your experience was gleaned in *this* century," I told him. "You know *this* really shouldn't hurt."

He gave a small cry and his half-shut eyes flew wide open.

"Louis!" he whispered and then whatever he had been going to say was lost in a throaty moan. I smiled. Evidently I was doing this right.

Part Ten: (Louis)

I pushed Lestat over on to his side and nuzzled into his shoulder as I continued to caress him. I could feel him shaking against me as I continued my preparations. When I heard his voice, roughened by his arousal, I wondered that he could speak at all.

"I don't understand," he groaned. "What are you *doing* to me?"

"Oh, Lestat," I smiled as I sighed. But I was beginning to tremble against him, my own arousal making it difficult for me to hold back.

"Louis, Please!" Lestat made an inarticulate cry of frustration. "Why can't you just.....?"

"Hush," I kissed his neck, my lips brushing a path upwards to his ear. I nibbled on the lobe as I continued my ministrations. "I just don't want to hurt you, that's all."

"Hurt me?" He managed to turn his head and I knew what it was that had distracted him from his desires even before he spoke. "Louis, did I....?"

"Beloved," I slid over him to press him beneath me to the bed as I kissed him. "I think there is always a little madness in the first time, we had no real opportunity to prepare." I kissed him again thoroughly. "But now I can be careful."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered.

"I know," I covered his mouth with mine. This was not the time for apologies, and in truth he had nothing to apologise for. Time had given me a luxury for thought that he had lacked.

He held me tightly on top of him, wrapping his legs around my waist and lifting up against me. He strained upwards, arching his back and I found myself shifting hard against him, ready to own him as he had possessed me the night before.

"Can you....?" he began and I made some sound of assent, utterly absorbed in what I was doing. He cried out as I entered him and arched his back further. I heard him murmur my name as I shifted again, moving deeper inside him. I was shaking with concentration, too uncertain of myself to relax. But then Lestat wrapped his arms around me and began to guide me, teaching me the joint rhythm of our bodies. Gradually the pleasure took over and I lost myself in it, thrusting down into him, hearing his responsive cries, aware of my own moans as our union became complete.

We moved together, carried towards that inevitable climax. My body was molten, I was drowning in gold, felt it all around me, the heat, the flames. Fire sizzled over my skin and I hissed suddenly. And then we were locked together and our joined flesh pulsed with the ecstasy of our joining. I cried out and heard his voice join mine in a shout of release. Darkness crashed over me, I fell into the well of night. And everything was Lestat, only him, my love, my lover. Always.

Part Eleven: (Lestat)

I gradually became aware that I was lying in a tangle of bedclothes, the bloodstained sheets dry now, and that Louis was half on top of me. I sighed. Then I reached up a hand to stroke his hair.

"Louis?"

"Mmmm?"

"That was wonderful."

"Mmmm, for me too." He shifted to lie at my side and I pulled the covers up around us. I was tired, and the drousiness was pleasant. But my return to consciousness had lacked the dehabilitating lethargy that had resulted from our last union. I wondered if that had been the result of our shift of roles and turned to study my lover, just in case.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"A little." He smiled at me. "Don't worry, Lestat. I'm not going to just roll over and go to sleep." His green eyes were mischievous under the long black lashes. "That would be...." he considered, "...discourteous."

"Are you teasing me, Louis?" I pouted a little and then found myself being thoroughly kissed.

"Yes," he said, when he eventually released my mouth, and we both laughed together.

It was a while before either of us spoke again. It was blissful simply to lie there in his embrace, holding him in return. I wanted to protect him from harm, to shelter him against the world. But I knew it was impossible. And that impulse only served to remind me of another of my failures.

"It hurt again, didn't it?"

"Yes," he looked serious. "I suspect it always will. Our bodies just aren't able to beome aroused without that accompanying pain."

"I don't like to think that I must hurt you every time we make love."

"I know, Lestat. But this isn't something *you* do to me, it's a trial we go through *together*."

"But there was a mistake that I made, a pain I gave you," I pointed out and he shook his head, covering my mouth with his hand.

"No, Lestat. I don't want you to regret anything that happened that night." He smiled tenderly. "Maybe we went too fast, so what? It was still wonderful, once the initial pain was over." The smile curved his lips further as he added: "Just be more careful next time, okay?"

"I promise." I assured him, drawing him closer into my arms.

We lay there for a long time, just holding each other. Murmuring little words of love. But as the night drew on I couldn't help the feeling of a cold dread clenching around my heart. I tried to hide it from him, but Louis knows me too well.

"What is it?" he asked eventually.

"What is what?" I played innocent, but to no avail.

"Don't lie to me, Lestat," he warned. "Something's bothering you, and I want to know what it is."

I held silent for a few moments. But he was right, I couldn't, shouldn't lie to him now. Finally I began to speak.

"I'm worried that I'll loose you," I confessed, not looking at him. "hat this won't last. Every second that draws us closer to the dawn terrifies me."

"You think by tomorrow night I'll have changed my mind?"

"Not necessarily by then," I sighed. "But it's a symbol, of our separation, of the silence between our minds. I can never share your dreams, however much I want to be a part of them."

"You are a part of them," he whispered, stroking my hair. But I didn't relax.

"It's not enough," I told him. "I want to be close to you, closer than this. To have that togetherness that making love alone cannot give us."

"Are you talking about blood?" he asked, something strange in his voice.

"I think I'm talking about love," I replied.

"But you know I love you," he looked troubled. "Why should you fear that I'll stop?"

"It's so hard to express," I paused. "I wish I could tell you....." My voice trailed off as I thought. I have stolen the voices of other writers when it suited me before. Perhaps this would show him what I meant. "Listen," I urged. He lay still in my arms as I recited softly:

"Oh, my love, if only were able.
To protract this hour of quietness after passion,
Not ration happiness but leave this door forever
Closed on the world, it's own world closed within it.

But dawn's waves trouble with the bubbling minute,
The names of books come clear upon their shelves,
The reason delves for duty and you *will* wake
With a start and go on living on your own.

The first train passes and the windows groan
Voices will hector and your voice become,
A drum in tune with theirs, which all last night Like sap that fingered through a hungry tree
Asserted our one night's identity."

My voice faltered a little as I finished and I heard a soft sigh from Louis. "You see," I told him. "I have said I feel that you are mine, but I want you to feel it as well. I want you to be mine. To be *with* me. Not just in body, but in spirit, as well. I want all of you, Louis...."

Part Twelve: (Louis)

Lestat was looking haunted. His eyes grey-violet with love and longing. I wished it was possible to take him in my arms and kiss his fears away but I knew it was impossible.

"It will take time, Lestat," I said softly. "You feel the weight of our joint history, that's what makes you fear that this won't last." I buried my head in his shoulder as I whispered my own confession. "I fear it too," I told him. "I'm scared you'll leave me, that you'll grow tired of me."

"Louis..." Lestat began, but I interrupted him.

"No, don't make promises," I insisted. "It's too soon for us." I kissed him gently before continuing. "I want you to have me, Lestat, to have all of me. But I can't.... I can't...." I caught my breath, but forced myself to continue. "It's not something I *can* decide to do. It'll take time, before it can happen. Before we can trust each other enough. Nothing is certain, Lestat. But here and now, I do love you. That's all I can say."

"Louis!" Lestat took me in a crushing hug, buring his face in my hair as he held me tightly. "I love you, I love you so much I think I could die from it...."

"I love you too," I whispered. "Lestat...."

We held each other in silence. The blankets were wrapped tightly around us and I felt that in his arms was my rightful place. I don't know if the damned have any right to pray, or to whom they *should* pray if they do. But as I lay there I sent a silent plea to whoever might be watching over us that this would last. That this time Lestat and I would get it right. A while later Lestat spoke, sounding drousy.

"Let's sleep here today."

"It's not safe," I said slowly.

"We can shutter the windows," he said cajolingly. "and it'll be much more comfortable than the coffin."

"Your coffin or mine?" I enquired and Lestat laughed softly.

"Either," he replied. "Louis? I promise you'll be perfectly safe. Stay here with me?"

"Alright," I agreed. "But *you* have to close the shutters, I'm too tired to get up."

"As you wish." Lesta brushed a butterfly kiss across my mouth before climbing out of the huge bed. He put on a dark robe and I made a sound of disappointment, earning myself an arch look as he went to close the shutters. "It's much too cold to go naked," he pointed out.

"I suppose so," I agreed. "But I like looking at you."

He smiled and I continued to watch him as he first shuttered the windows, then drew heavy drapes across to shield us from the light of day. Having accomplished this task he lost no speed in retruning to the bed, diving back under the bedclothes.

"Lestat!" I exclaimed as he took me in his arms. "You're *freezing* cold!"

"What did you expect?" he asked. "I haven't fed tonight, and I only took a little blood from you."

"Were you that cold earlier?" I asked, trying to remember.

"I was warmed by the fire of passion for you," Lestat teased, fluttering long lashes at me. I grinned, then pushed back the covers. "Going somewhere?" he asked me.

"No, I just want to look at you," I said.

"You're getting more like me every day," he protested. but he smiled as I admired his golden beauty and shifted a little to give me a better view, displaying himself to me.

"Don't you mean every 'night'?" I asked, letting my fingers trail over his shoulder, down his chest and across his thigh. Then deliberately, I added: "You know, I think I like you best this way."

"Louis!" Lestat gathered me into his arms and pulled the covers back over us. "I can't have this. You're supposed to be the shy one, remember?"

"Oh yes," I agreed. "It's in your book so it *must* be true."

"Naturally."

"And what about the fact that in *my* book you're a callous brute?" I pointed out.

"Don't believe everything you read," he scolded. "You don't want people to think you're gullible, do you, Louis?"

"Damnest creature," I murmured. "Go to sleep."

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