Part Thirteen: (Lestat)

Dawn was approaching and Louis, lacking the power of my ancient blood, was already feeling the irresistable call of the death-sleep. He shifted a little, settling himself more comfortably against me and murmured something incomprehensible into my chest. "What was that?" I asked, kissing the top of his head.

"Make sure you feed tomorrow night," he said. "You're so cold..."

"You're rambling," I told him. "Time to go to sleep, Louis."

"Mmm, 'kay," his voice was becoming incoherant. "Love you, l'Stat."

"I know," I hugged him closer. "I love you too, beautiful one."

He made a little sound of pleasure and shifted again, tucking his head under my chin. His breathing slowed and in a few minutes I knew he was asleep. I sighed and adjusted my own position, turning to gaze at the shadow of beauty within the curve of my arm. The darkness of the room made it difficult for me to see him well, even with my vampire eyes. I could almost imagine that he was that beautiful mortal who I had brought to darkness so long ago. I had made so many mistakes then. There was so much to regret. But I had never regretted bringing him to me, to be my immortal companion.

It had been difficult for me to be honest with him, not least because I sometimes found it hard to tell what I felt myself. But now he was asleep and I could say anything I liked.

"Beloved," I whispered. "I'll never let you go. Never, Louis. You could travel to the ends of the earth, go *under* the earth, anywhere. I'll follow you...." My voice souded harsh even to my ears. "Don't leave me," I whispered, so low I could hardly hear myself. "Please, don't ever leave me. I couldn't live without you." I felt the blood tears wet my face as I remembered Louis' voice saying 'nothing is certain' and felt so filled with love for him that it hurt. The words that came to me then demanded to be said aloud, defining the balance of our love and our uncertainty.

"Lay your sleeping head, my love
Human on my faithless arm..."

Did Louis think me faithless? What would it take for him to trust me, to love the demon that I was so unconditionally that he would trust me wih his soul?

"...Time and fevers burn away
Individual beauty from
Thoughtful children, and the grave
Proves the child ephemeral..."

We would never fall victim to the transience of life. Our beauty would last eternally. But the only child we had given to the world had long been in her grave beneath Les Innocents. What did we have except time? And was it a gift or a curse. Centuries in which to love or hate each other.

"...But in my arms till break of day
Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful..."

Could there ever be someone more beautful than Louis? The mortal loveliness perfected by death. But I had never felt so alive as when I was with him, and I doubted our death as I had doubted our damnation. I feared those first rays of dawn that would end this moment of calm, where I could hold him and swear to keep him. What did he dream now? If I could share his thoughts I could share his dreams as well. The most I could hope for was to be a part of them, as he would surely be a part of mine.

"...Soul and body have no bounds: To lovers as they lie upon Her tolerant enchanted slope In their ordinary swoon,
Grave the vision Venus sends
Of supernatural sympathy
Universal love and hope..."

Could there be love in eternity? Could we bind ourselves together wit a bond more enduring than that between maker and fledgling. 'The dark gift never brings love, only the silence'. But so much of what I had been told had been a lie. Maybe this too could be overcome...

"...While and abstract insights wake
Among the glaciers and the rocks
The hermit's sensual ecstasy..."

I had certainly felt like that. I knew the feeling of isolation and barrenness that had driven me into the sun only too well. It had been Louis' insight that awakened me. His love, his longing. I hoped he knew how much I shared it. Words were not enough. I wanted to prove it to him in everything, in every fibre of my being to declaim my love for him.

"...Certainty, fidelity
On the stroke of midnight pass
Like vibrations of a bell
And fashionable madmen raise
Their pedantic boring cry:
Every farthing of the cost,
All the dreaded cards fortell,
Shall be paid, but from this night
Not a whisper, not a thought,
Not a kiss nor look be lost.

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:
Let the winds of dawn that blow
Softly round your dreaming head
Such a day of sweetness show
Eye and knocking heart may bless,
Find our mortal world enough;
Noons of dryness see you fed
By the involuntary powers,
Nights of insult let you pass
Watched by every human love."

And as my own eyes closed against the coming dawn, and the death-sleep drugged me with its sensual lethargy, he was the centre of my world and my love for him a shield to hold against myself.