0-(:)) Hello. I am fat angel Bob. My name is Bob, because I am the chosen one, or something. I like the color pink, isn't it mahvalous? Oh touche touche! Hehehe, Since you are speaking to the one, the almightly, GOD, I think I should be the middle man, since you are of less importance to speak to god, I will ask god your questions.

*flings Bob aside* Uh..I am the superior God. Hello, How may I be of service to you? Uh huh Uh huh.... DAMN YOU! YOU INFERIOR TWIT! THIS IS NOT A PIZZA PLACE! Ok Ok calm down 1..2...3..Now, what are your questions?

Q: Hello, this is Stewart from Dill Pickle Farm. I would like to know, why aren't my cucumbers growing? I need to make my pickles...or or....*has a major breakdown, crying* Please, help me god!

A: Pull yourself together man. This is not a help line. I can not instantly cure you from the computer, simply because, your computer is inferior to mine. And partly because, I don't want to. And what's with this? Everyone makes me do EVERY damn thing! And when it doesn't happen, they blame me! What the hell is wrong with you people?! "Oh please god help me!" WHY cant you pray to someone else! Satan's available, go bug him.

Q: Hello, god. I am a nun for the Catholic School of All Fates. Now let me just say, I've been admiring you from afar....oooo I wanta be yours...honey...I didn't do that to the Holy Water for nothing, hun. All for you.....

A: Oh, great, another old wrinkled windbag that worships me. Why can't there be any young nuns? Like porno nuns, man? I mean Satan gets them! Why can't I!? It's not fair! *goes to his special corner*

Q: Hiiiii! I'm Kristy! Well, I have to go to church, every Sunday. And I don't want to! My mommy says I'll be damned if I don't go. Is that true?

A: No, it's not. Why the hell do people go to church anyways? I mean, their MY homes. And their total strangers! Do you like strangers coming in your house and singing fucked up hymns and fucked up prayers? Why the hell do they worship me? Why can't they worship someone else, or SOMETHING else? Like their dog?! Get outta my damned house man!

Q: Good day. This is Patrick. How does it feel to be rivaled by Satan, the diabolical most upmost enemy.

A: *grumbles* Aw, ya had to mention him didn't ya? Well, he can do whatever the hell he pleases, gets to punish people, gets hot chicks all the time. I'm so envious! He's cool..and Im a dork...

Hiiii It's fat angel Bob again ^.~ ehehehe. Look's like we have a lovely question from one of our visitors. Now now...."What's the meaning of life?" Is it? Ah, what a classic..I love this one! *giggles like a little school girl* Anyways...answer this...God. I shall go back to watching a classic Barbara Streisand movie. ^-^

God: Gah..had to wake me for a fucking question..gah..I need sleep too damnit. The meaning of life? What a fucking lamer you must be if you can't figure this out. The meaning of life is to live through a shit slum and when you finally get out you die. Thanks...come again

Need some advice have a question? mail god dammit! e-mail or