Kilroy Audience Resolve Issue of Gay Adoption
17th REPETITION OF 'ADAM AND STEVE' POINT PROMPTS BREAKTHROUGH

Former MP, turned talk-show presenter, Robert Kilroy-Silk told yesterday of the messages of thanks and praise he has received from gay-rights groups and adoption agencies alike, after the audience of Monday morning’s Kilroy show conclusively resolved the thorny issue of same-sex couples adopting.

“It isn’t me who deserves praise, I am only the public face of the show” said Kilroy-Silk, modestly, “You should be thanking Pat, from Northampton, who made the invaluable point about children being teased at school, or Tina from Bury, who raised the issue of a potential future race of ‘super-gays’ leading to the extinction of the human species. But special mention must go to Craig, from Essex, whose bellowing insistence that God made Adam and Eve, as opposed to Adam and Steve, finally settled the debate.”

Indeed, the on-air discussion led to a landmark ruling – voted through unanimously, and in record time by both houses – banning same-sex couples from adopting children, after Prime Minister Tony Blair and other key government ministers gathered to watch the programme earlier this week.

Speaking in the Commons yesterday, the Prime Minister paid tribute to the Kilroy team: “I think we all realise how complex an issue adoption right s for same-sex couples is. However, it is heartening to see how people from both ends of the political spectrum have lent their support to the judgement of the Kilroy audience. In particular, it seems that Craig from Essex’s 17th repetition of the point that God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, was the breakthrough in the debate, which has led us to this happy consensus.”

Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott echoed Mr Blair’s sentiments: “All I can say, in all truthfulness, is that thank God for Kilroy. Before long, we should have a definitive solutions to this nation’s, literally, most important of questions.” It is expected that several further Kilroy rulings will follow, on issues such as asylum, sentencing and GM crops. However, support is growing for an increased role for the Trisha show and its audience, who claim to have fresh policy ideas on issues such as embarrassing mums, wives who are secretly strippers and skanky hos who think they all that, but ain’t.