Time seems to have stopped. It feels like all that exists is this room, this bed, Faith breathing close to my ear as her fingers spread me open for her touch. I moan and my arm reaches under Faith to wrap around her. I need to hold on to something. To her. I move against her fingers as I lay on my back but she’s definitely in control; teasing me so softly, each slip of her fingers over my clit making me shudder.

I shouldn’t be letting this happen, but I’m so wet for her. She’s stroking over me so slowly I almost feel like pleading with her to do it harder and faster, but she knows exactly what she’s doing. I know she’s just building it up, and it feels so good. Her fingertip circles and slides and I’m completely powerless to stop this. I haven’t been with anybody for a while, and Faith has been getting me worked up since she arrived, add into that the nightly slaying with no privacy to work off the tension and I can’t be held responsible for giving in to her.

Her lips brush over the spot just below my ear and I’m practically swooning as she nuzzles against me. The heat coming off her is intense, her smell intoxicating as she moves to lean over me a little more.

My eyes are shut because I daren’t look at her. I don’t want to fall into her eyes as she does this; as she strips away all my defences and my stupid arguments to keep her at arm’s length. I feel her nose brushing against my cheek, her hot breath spilling over me. Turning my head just a little to slide my lips over Faith’s seems like it would be the best plan ever, but I can’t. I don’t dare to as she presses harder against me and I gasp.

She groans all throaty and sexy and I swear I just got even wetter. All I can think of is how much I need to come, and how much I want it to be her to make me. I know this is wrong, I know it so much it’s keeping my eyes tightly shut and my hands firmly constrained. I want to touch her, God do I want to touch her and kiss her, but it’s too much. All I seem to be able to do is lay here sighing and moaning for her.

“I’ve wanted to do this since the first second I saw ya, B,” Faith says huskily, her hair tumbling over me as she starts placing kisses over my neck. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

She pushes herself away from me for a moment and I wonder what’s going on. I don’t need to guess as I feel her pushing my panties down and off me, then trailing her fingers up the inside of my leg. The thought of this stunning girl peeling my panties off just gets me shivering under her touch even more as I bite my lip to keep from saying something stupid.

Her fingers head back to where they’d just been, slipping all over me in my juices. I sound so wet and normally that would embarrass me a little; guys can get squicked out by that kinda thing, but Faith seems like she’s enjoying it as she breathes all hot and bothered over me, pushing me right to the edge then slowing almost to a stop.

The air in my lungs almost rushes out completely as she lets her fingers drop lower, dipping into my opening just enough for me to feel it. I groan as she teases me, my fingernails clawing a little at her back. She grins into my neck and then scrapes her teeth over me, not giving me what I want. I raise my hips but she just pulls her hand back, keeping me where she wants me; squirming for her as I start burning up in my need for relief.

I look up at her for a second and wish I hadn’t. Her eyes are so dark and her expression so achingly gorgeous, I instantly feel myself wanting to drown in her and never come up for air. I can’t allow that, though. Whatever this is, it’s not going to be that. This is just sex. . .just her getting what she wants, and me getting to feel free for just a short time.

The air feels hot and sticky and I shuffle about, using my free hand to tug at my shirt. She doesn’t say anything as she helps me lift it off. As soon as it’s gone I pull her back to me, the desperate need to kiss her making me ache inside. I keep my lips away from hers, not prepared for where that would take me. Her skin against mine is enough to leave me spinning; the soft swell of her breasts against me, nipples brushing over me as mine react to her, makes me slam my eyes shut once again.

There’s only so much I think I can take without wanting to run, and I don’t want to run when her touch is so good.

Faith is driving me insane here. I want her to fuck me so badly right now. Nobody has ever gotten me this worked up. Every time I start to feel myself trembling, almost tumbling into an orgasm as I breathe fast and deep. . .she pulls back, moves her fingers from where she was or starts barely touching me at all. She’s fucking good, but it’s killing me. I’m fighting to keep from making too much noise and from flipping her over and riding her fingers until I come all over her.

“Faith,” I whisper with a shudder, hoping she’ll understand how much I need her to take me over the edge. And I do mean her.

I haven’t thought about sex with anybody for quite a while, not since all that nasty business with Spike. Sure, I’ve had a few fantasies when I’ve needed to ease some of the pressure inside me, but they were always fleeting, not meaning anything, not about anybody in particular. From the moment Faith walked through the front door I guess my body has been winding itself up for this with her. I barely recognised what it was, totally shocked that another girl could make me feel that way, but I get it completely now. It doesn’t matter that she’s got all the female parts I have, she’s just incredibly sexy and beautiful, and she’s all fire and danger and here stripping away all my layers to get to what’s underneath.

Every time she looks at me I feel it; her eyes going deeper, her voice ploughing through me like I have no defences at all. And just when I thought I had her all figured out, she shows me a whole other side to her where she’s gentle and sweet and funny and I just want to be around her, watching her dimples as she smiles. I’m completely smitten, crushing on her like there’s no tomorrow, and wanting her in a way I can’t even explain. It’s all pretty scary that’s for sure. She’s scaring the crap out of me. . .but she’s also doing things to my pussy with her fingers that nobody has done before and that’s something completely opposite of scary, but I don’t know what.

“Oh God,” I moan out, getting louder as Faith slides a finger into me then pulls it out slowly.

I press my hand against her back, holding her tighter to me. I want more. I need her all over me. I need her inside me again and again until she takes all I have to give her right now. I feel myself sweating, hot and needy and sticking to her everywhere we’re touching. Spreading my legs wider, bending the one she’s not pressed up against, I reach down under the covers and grasp at her wrist, my fingers light, not wanting to hurt her in any way.

She moans and rubs up against me as I make her push her finger back inside me, holding my hand over hers, feeling just how wet I am. I arch my back into it, sighing noisily as I feel her deep within me. I can almost feel myself starting to come even though she’s not moving, not thrusting, not wriggling. . .just her being there.

“Jesus, Buffy. . .you feel fucking beautiful,” Faith says, her voice almost a low growl.

I want to ask her to fuck me until I burst, but the words won’t leave my mouth. She doesn’t need me to ask; her finger slides out and she pushes back in with two, harder and deeper, taking back the control as my hand falls away. I move it up to grab onto her shoulder as she holds herself over me. My fingers glide into her soft dark hair as she begins to thrust into me. She’s not holding back now and I’m making too much noise.

With each thrust I moan and gasp as she works her fingers faster and harder inside me. I turn my face to hers, trying to muffle myself against her as I cling tightly to her body. The temptation her lips present is just too great now, I can’t think straight and don’t protest as she finally latches onto my mouth with hers. We kiss, hungry and deep, wet and frantic; every ounce of want and desire coming through loud and clear as she fucks me. I can’t say I’ve ever felt so swept up in the act before, not by anybody’s fingers, tongue or other more manly parts. This is definitely new, and surprising.

Faith’s fingers feel incredible, pushing in deep and rubbing up right where I need them as she swallows down every moan I give her. I start to tremble, my insides burning out of control as she sweeps her thumb up over my clit.

I break my mouth free from her probing tongue to cry out. I can’t help it, and it’s her name that I gasp as I start to come.

“Fuck,” Faith groans as she rubs her fingers over the place inside me nobody has ever found before, her thumb slipping all over my clit.

She wraps her lips around mine again and I know why. . .if we’re any louder the whole house is going to know what’s going on. I try to contain myself but I’m coming hard and long, the whimpering moans still making their way out of me as I soak Faith’s fingers. I shudder beneath her, every part of my body tense as I grip onto her. Normally I would be done by now, but she’s not taking her fingers out and it doesn’t seem like I’ve stopped coming.

My hips jerk up against her hand as Faith pushes another finger inside me, keeping me falling over the edge. My tongue is duelling with hers, tasting and licking, feeling everything, everywhere, all over in a way I’ve never done before. Faith is completely possessing me, and I’m coming hard again all over her. I wish I could call out her name but I keep myself muffled as my come floods out of me until I’m spent.

I fall back, my mouth breaking from Faith’s so I can take a much needed deep breath. I can’t believe we just did that. I can’t believe I just let her make me come harder than I ever remember coming before. . .but God does it feel good.

Faith keeps her fingers inside me as I pulse and twitch for her, her head resting on my shoulder as I lay in a stupor. My mind is racing, trying to find reasons, excuses, any kind of logical thought. I can’t think beyond Faith’s hot body against me and her fingers now being slowly pulled from me. We both sigh and I tremble from the loss.

Her hand glides stickily to my hip and she rests it there. I’m warm all over because of her, every inch of me, inside and out. I want to bask. I want to just enjoy the feeling of having her pressed against me so closely; the sensation of her skin against mine, her leg slipping over me to cover me almost completely. I guess I should return the favor, give her something back for what she’s just done for me. . .but she’s not asking, not making any kind of move to make me cross that final barrier.

I wonder why not and have to ask. I mean, I’m lost here. I don’t know if I just used her or if she just used me. I know I should never have let it get so far, so maybe I did just take advantage of her because of my selfish post-slaying needs. Right now it feels like that because I think she’s falling asleep.

“Faith,” I say softly, rousing her.

“Hmm?” Faith responds tiredly.

“Don’t you want me to. . ?” I can’t get the words out - afraid that she’ll say yes - and she lifts her head from my shoulder a little to look at me.

She smiles a dimpled smile and shakes her head. “No, B,” she says. “I know you wouldn’t have done this if I hadn’t pushed it. I know you don’t think it’s ok for us to be doing this kinda thing, so it’s ok by me if it’s just me doing the touchin’. . .that way, you don’t have to feel so messed up about it. It’s all cool.”

With a yawn she places her head back down on my shoulder. I don’t know what kind of crazy troll-logic she was just channeling, but I don’t think I have the energy to question it right now. Instead I just pull her closer and wrap my leg over hers, not questioning my need to do that either. I guess my days of being strictly a no snuggling kinda girl are numbered, especially if this thing between us continues.

I try to relax my mind to join how relaxed my body feels; it’s not going to work but it’s worth a shot. Chuckling softly to myself, still completely baffled with the fact I just had sex with a girl, I feel a certain amount of pride wash over me. I just hooked up with the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Hell, the prettiest girl most people have ever seen. Xander would weep like a baby if he found out it’s me that got her and not him. I know he loves Anya but he’s a guy, and they all seem to drool over Faith like she’s. . .well, like she’s the hot piece of ass she is. They all want her, Spike, Robin, Xander, I think even Willow - to name just a few - but it’s me that has her draped all over me. If I wasn’t freaking out so much maybe I could count myself lucky.

Resting my cheek against Faith’s forehead I let myself attempt to drift off to sleep. I guess the over-thinking can continue in the morning, when I haven’t got this gorgeous brunette pressed so deliciously against me. I’m almost sad that I know this has to be the first and last time with Faith. In fact there’s not really an “almost” about it; she’s affecting me in ways I don’t want her to. Ways that mean I can’t hold back, as I proved tonight.

I’ll have to tell her that we can’t do this again, even though me and my pussy are extremely grateful for what she just did.

* * *

The morning sun pulls me from my dreams and I notice instantly that Faith has once again already left the bed before I’ve woken up. I huff a little, unable to decide whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing all things considered. Sure, if I wasn’t freaking out about her being a potential, a little younger than me, a hot-headed trouble maker. . .a girl, I would be upset that she’s not still snuggled on top of me just waiting for me to wake her in interesting and tasty ways.

I guess I’m still all confused because despite the fact I should be asking her to forgive me for taking advantage and for allowing anything to happen last night, I want her here with me, naked and waiting for me to learn some new skills on her. This whole contradiction deal is just giving me a headache.

I swing my legs out of bed and instantly clatter to the floor as I try to move, almost knocking myself out on the bedside table. I look down and see that my feet had become entangled in my discarded underwear. Well, that could have been intensely embarrassing if anybody had seen. It’s a good job I am alone.

Reaching down I remove them and toss them on top of the bed, pulling myself up so I can stretch and fully appreciate how well Faith fucked me last night. I make a contented sound as I feel the unmistakable tight sensation between my legs. She really did give me something to think about, and to feel. Every touch had been perfect. If I hadn’t been such an ass maybe it could have gone further and I could have made her come too. But I just had to get a rush of guilt and responsibility right at the wrong moment.

Faith made me feel incredible, and I probably made her feel rejected. I should have touched her back. . .wait, what am I saying? Of course I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have let her finger fuck me until I was moaning out her name either.

I clasp my hand over my eyes and sigh deeply. This is all too much for me right now. I have way too much on my shoulders for Faith to be pulling my thoughts and feelings this way and that. It wasn’t her fault either, it was all me. I’m dumb. Dumb and weak.

It’s hard, but for the rest of the morning I stay far away from Faith. I showered and dressed and grabbed breakfast, then went out for a run. It’s not like I need to do it to keep fit, but it helps clear my head sometimes, and I really need to clear my head right now. I knew I couldn’t stay away for too long without Giles getting concerned, so I made my way back, walking rather than running.

I’d seen Faith once so far as she did her Tai Chi in the back garden. I’d watched her for a few moments through the window and she’d nodded my way but continued her routine. It felt a little like she’d lost interest, but maybe she’s only the clingy type when we’re in bed. Which is fine, I mean, it’s not like I want her hanging off me when anybody could see. Or at all. . .really.

My hope to avoid her for as long as possible, and the plan not to have to deal with what had happened between us gets a little steamrollered by Giles and his fondness for meetings. He calls us all into the living room just after lunch and there Faith is, large as life and as attractive as ever at the other side of the room as I stand by the sofa. She’s wearing a tight red top, and low-slung black jeans; her belt all black and studded and just begging to be undone.

Our eyes meet as Giles starts talking and I hear nothing of what he’s saying. All I see is Faith and those dark eyes of hers silently undressing me. She’s leaning against a table, her arms folded, looking the picture of coolness. . .but I can see what’s going on inside her. She’s thinking of doing all kinds of things to me, and I am trying so hard not to think them too. Not only that, I’m trying doubly hard not to think of doing those things to her. Things that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have the first clue how to do, but would have so much fun trying out with Faith.

“So, what do you think, Buffy?” Giles says, standing right in front of me, obscuring my view.

I stare at him, my mouth doing that funky fish thing that I’m sure is pretty unattractive.

“Think?” I eventually mumble.

He looks at me like I’ve grown another head and starts to pace. I glance over at Faith to see her grinning at me mockingly. Ok, so I wasn’t paying attention. I really can’t be blamed; I did have images of Faith fucking me senseless rolling around in my head.

“I think it’s high time we tested the limits of this ancient breed of vampire. I’m certain you can kill it given the right circumstances,” Giles says, looking at me once again as if I have a clue what he’s talking about.

See, this is why wanting Faith is bad. . .because I can’t get her out of my head, and if she’s in my head then everything else is getting pushed out. Pretty soon I’ll forget my own name and they’ll have to build a new Buffy-bot to deal with the day-to-day living, as I sit around drooling over Faith, thinking about all the naughty things we could be doing.

“We’d all be there, ready to see you kick some uber-booty,” Willow says to me. “It’ll be like a picnic, only with less sandwiches and more vampires.”

“Sounds great,” I say cautiously.

“Excellent,” Giles beams, looking pleased with himself. “We’ll get everything ready for nightfall. I’ll leave it up to you to speak with Spike of course.”

“Of course,” I say, still feeling confused.

It seems like the meeting is over as Giles arranges girls into groups and gives them tasks. I just stand looking vacant and wishing I could get closer to Faith. After avoiding her all morning I really feel the need to be around her now. My own stupid fault for not having the guts to confront what I’d let happen and talk with her.

All I can do is watch as she’s taken away from me to polish weapons, or whatever it is Giles said. She stops before leaving the room and smiles at me, one of her best “I wanna make you come for me” smiles that I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen her use on me. At least I hope she’s only used it on me. If anybody else here thinks they’re getting a chance with her I’d be pissed, even if I’m not meant to be thinking like that at all. She’s not my girlfriend after all. She’s not really even my friend. I don’t know what she is, but that smile made my stomach do the flippy thing again.

“You ok, Buffy?” I hear next to me, breaking me from my thoughts.

I blink and focus on Willow, who looks all concerned for me.

“Yeah,” I say, kind of squeaking instead of speaking.

She scrunches her face up and I know what’s coming.

“Yunno, if anything’s wrong you can talk to me,” she says.

I didn’t want her to say that because that makes me think maybe I should talk to her about the ‘Faith thing’, and I don’t want to talk about it. I know it would make sense because she’s into girls; she’s dealt with this whole issue before. I can’t talk about it now though, it’s too. . .complicated. If it were any other time and Faith wasn’t a potential slayer, then maybe I’d ask Willow’s advice on it. But right now there’s just too much at stake. I can’t afford to alienate my friends. I know Willow wouldn’t be freaked about me being into Faith because she’s a girl, but she knows how important it is for me to keep all the girls’ respect, and she knows how much I need to be on top of my game right now. She’d probably tell me to back off and not give in to Faith’s charms, and I already know all that.

“Everything’s fine, Will,” I tell her. “You could help me out by telling me what Giles was going on about, though.” I give her my best “Buffy is adorable” expression and she chuckles and shakes her head.

She fills me in on Giles’ plan as we relax on the couch, potential slayers flitting about the house looking busy and hopeful. I’m hopeful too because if that vampire gets a good bite out of me I don’t know if I can hold them together. They’re scared enough as it is. I almost feel like suggesting we wait for Kendra to show up, but I know Giles would tell me it’s my responsibility. I don’t see how, Kendra is the active slayer. . .she should be the one putting herself in the firing line of the big ugly uber-vampire. I’m just here holding the fort, this should be her gig not mine.

I sigh and slump down a little into the cushions. Of course I know it is my gig. This is my town. My hellmouth. My apocalypse. I just wish I had more help than a bunch of girls, a witch that daren’t do the witch-y thing, and a vampire that still pines after me like a lost puppy.

That thought brings me back to what Giles had said. It sounded like he needed me to rattle the dog chain at Spike to see if he wants to go walkies. Well, I can do that. . .as long as I don’t have to put up with him ogling me like a piece of steak; it’s kind of creepy now I’m not all abuse-loving girl.

Pushing myself up off the couch I go in search of Spike, I know I won’t have to go far, he doesn’t venture out of the basement if it isn’t dark. Personally I think he’d look better with a suntan but maybe I’m just being picky.

“Slayer,” he says as I walk down the steps. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

I shake my head as he grins at me, wishing he wouldn’t lay around half-naked with his sheet draped over his manly parts. I throw a shirt at him but he doesn’t put it on. I can’t hate him. I can’t even dislike him any more. He’s just Spike; a pain in my butt, but a part of my past.

“You’re needed,” I tell him.

His grin gets wider and I’m almost daring him to look me up and down so I can kick his ass to make me feel better. He must be able to see the threat in my eyes because he looks away and roots around in his stack of clothes, pulling out a cigarette and lighter. He lights up and blows smoke at me as if it’s a sure way to turn me on. I cough and instantly feel sick.

“So what can I do for you, Slayer?” he asks. “Been a busy boy this morning so make it quick, I need a few hours’ kip.”

“We need you to come on patrol with us later. Giles thinks we can slay this uber-vamp thing if we’re out in force. . .wait, what do you mean you’ve been a busy boy?” I ask, glancing over his pile of clothes to check for bloodstains.

I know he can’t hurt anybody now with the chip in his head and a soul drifting around in his scrawny chest but you can never be sure with vampires, that’s why he’s still chained to the wall when he gets hungry.

“Had me a visit this morning from a friend of yours,” he tells me, looking cocky.

I narrow my eyes and fold my arms over my chest. I’m not in the mood for playing games, and he ought to know the signs by now.

“What are you talking about?” I ask sternly.

“Hot little brunette that goes by the name Faith,” he says, blowing more smoke my way.

He looks way more smug than he should, and I’m feeling my itchy stake finger twitching. I swear if he so much as laid a finger on her I’ll cut it off and make him eat it.

“What about her?” I push, knowing already that she talks with Spike now and then.

“She came down looking a little. . .wound up. She likes to bum a fag off me now and then, but this morning she needed a little more than that it seemed,” he says, his lips curling up into a smile I suddenly want to rip from his face.

Of course Faith was all wound up, she’d fucked me the night before and got nothing in return. But what was she doing coming to Spike? I don’t want to know, but I also desperately need to know. I can’t believe she’d come to Spike for what I think his grin is suggesting.

“What happened? What did you do?” I ask, growing angrier by the second.

“Well, aren’t we all full of questions today,” Spike chuckles.

I step closer to him, my eyes cold enough to burn through his bravado.

“Why did she come to you?” My voice is harsh, cutting like steel through the smoky air.

“Keep your wig on, Goldilocks. . .she came to use the punch bag.”

I feel my nostrils flaring, a sure clue that I’m right on the edge. He’s telling the truth though; I can see it in his eyes. Spike might be a lot of things but he’s a rotten liar. I try to relax my shoulders and let my arms fall to my side. I was so close to bouncing him all around the basement. I can’t believe I just got so jealous for nothing. I swallow hard, trying to fight back the warning signs inside of me.

“You seem a little flustered, Slayer,” Spike points out, obviously wanting his face rearranged. “Maybe you could use some time on the punch bag too. Didn’t really work for the other stunner, though. Still, the show was a good one,” he says, running his tongue over his teeth.

His smirk reminds me of why I hated my time with him. It makes everything seem dirty and low. He brings everything down to his level, and at one time he did the same to me. I know I was more than willing, but I was rolling around in his filth for too long until I saw the light and came to my senses. There is no way I would ever let him anywhere near to doing that with Faith, regardless of my feelings for her. Even if I never have her in my bed again I sure as hell would never let him get to her. She’s not mine and probably never will be, but she sure as shit isn’t ever going to be his.

“Stay away from her, Spike, or you’ll feel the sharp end of my favourite stake before you can even take a breath to beg for your life,” I warn.

His grin fades just a little, but he knows it would take a lot for me to kill him with him being all defenceless. I don’t wait around for him to ask why I got so prickly over Faith, turning to leave before he can say another word.

As I go to slam the basement door I tell Spike to be ready for nightfall, “So we can kill one of your great aunts,” I yell.

It takes most of the rest of the evening for me to calm down, and I hate that I got so riled up about Faith possibly being with somebody that isn’t me. I have no right to be jealous and possessive. No right at all. . .but that still didn’t stop it from happening. I need to talk to her, but she’s been busy with Giles all day. I can’t just rush into the pack of potentials she’s training with and pull her way by her hand so I can just. . .I don’t even know. What the hell would we talk about?

“Oh, I’m sorry I let you make me come all over you like a freight train, Faith. Maybe next time I could return the favor, but of course. . .there can’t ever be a next time.”

Yeah, that sounds perfect. I’m sure she’d love to hear that.

I sit on my bed with my head in my hands as nightfall lands. I need to pull it together or I’m gonna get myself killed, or worse.

“B?” I hear as the door opens.

Not looking up I feel Faith sit on the bed beside me. I sigh, wishing this could be normal. How much simpler would this be if we weren’t all fighting evil and coming up to an apocalypse? Not as much of a rhetorical question as I’d like it to be.

“Everyone’s getting ready, just waiting on the star of the show,” Faith says.

I close my eyes as I feel her hand on my thigh. This is too hard. I can’t fight the baddies as well as this thing for Faith.

Turning to her I look into her eyes and see nothing but desire and want, and something deeper that I can’t place. She’s everything anybody sane could want. . .yunno, if they’re into the sexy tough-girl thing, which apparently I am. I want. I do, and I don’t have the skills to fight it like I thought I did.

Closing the distance between us I crush my lips to hers. She doesn’t hesitate in responding, her hands pulling me closer as I hold her face in mine. I kiss her desperately, needing to taste her, wanting her tongue inside my mouth. I get what I want and then some. She’s a great kisser, and I moan into her as she does the same. I could sit kissing her for hours, for days. . .but it’s time to go and kill a vampire, and he isn’t going to go down easily.

I break away and lick my lips, tasting nothing but Faith. She’s breathing heavy and I know I am too. It’s what happens when all you wanna do is rip each other’s clothes off and roll around until you’re sticky and sore and can’t do anything more but sleep. I’ve never wanted that so much in my life as right now, but time doesn’t stand still when you want it to. Things aren’t easy and normal when you need them to be.