One Day I'll Find You


Chapter Three

Quietly making her way into the bathroom, Buffy tried her best not to wake Dawn. The last thing she needed was her sister asking questions. She didn’t plan on telling her anything about her night or who she’d been with; there would be much freaking out if she did. Buffy realised she should be doing quite a bit of freaking out herself, but deep down she knew it wasn’t so surreal. Still, it did warrant a little time to stare at herself in the mirror and wonder how she’d leapt headlong into Tru’s arms so easily.

“I kissed a girl,” she said quietly to herself as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “I kissed Tru. I kissed Tru and thought of Faith.”

Despite not needing to run around wigging about her new experience, the fact she’d let Faith filter into her mind - and learned some truths about her past feelings for her - did make her need to sit down.

She slumped onto the side of the bath, her thoughts drifting from Tru to Faith and back again. It wasn’t as if she’d enjoyed the night because of anything to do with Faith; that was all Tru. There was room to believe she’d so readily kissed her because of the other slayer, however. Her walls suddenly dropping for Faith, for how she’d always affected her, and allowing Tru to step inside in her place. Why now? Buffy wasn’t certain. She’d felt like her life was on the road to nowhere; stuck in the same place with the same responsibilities, the same relationship that just didn’t feel right. A change is what she’d wanted. . .and suddenly finding herself accepting what she’d felt for Faith, and embarking on something – though she wasn’t sure what yet – with Tru was definitely a change.

Buffy washed up for the night, periodically touching her lips and smiling before tumbling into bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, not only because she’d be travelling home, but also because she had a lot of thinking to do. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to Riley. She had to do something about her failing relationship with him, hopefully without hurting him.

When Buffy woke the next morning with Dawn singing and dancing around the room in her pyjamas - hairbrush firmly in hand – she winced and put a hand to her brow. Slayer healing didn’t help hangovers and Buffy had the makings of one lingering around her head. She needed painkillers, stat.

“Dawn, can you please shut up?” Buffy whined as her sister did her best impression of Madonna in bright pink pyjamas.

“Nope, it’s not my fault you’re a big baby,” Dawn squeaked as she bounced up onto her own bed and started jumping. “Shouldn’t have drank. Mom’ll be pissed.”

Buffy threw her covers back and attempted to untangle her feet. She glared at Dawn but it wasn’t working; Dawn carried on bouncing and singing.

“So,” Dawn began, thudding down onto her backside on the edge of her bed, opposite Buffy, “are you gay now?”

Buffy blinked and stared at her sister, her mouth opening but no words coming out. She had no clue why Dawn suddenly felt the need to ask her if she was gay.

Dawn shuffled until she was comfily sat in her interrogation position on the mess of sheets on her bed. “’Cause I saw you kissing that girl through the peephole thing in the door.”

“What?” Buffy managed to yell. “You were spying on me?”

“Well duh, but I couldn’t really see much, the peep thing made everything kinda swirly. I could see it wasn’t Cordy, though. Looked kinda like Faith, but that would be weird ‘cause you hate her,” Dawn explained, her big eyes studying Buffy and making her feel like crawling out of her own skin.

There should have been words to make Dawn feel bad, or to chastise her for spying. There should even have been words to discount any such assumption on Dawn’s part. . .but there were none. Buffy shook her head and rested it in her hands as she took a deep breath and tried to think. She hadn’t planned on talking to anybody about it quite so soon, much less her little sister. She had to at least try to explain, even if she didn’t quite understand it all herself yet.

“Dawn, you shouldn’t have spied,” Buffy said in a quiet voice, feeling like she wanted to be swallowed whole by the bed. “And I’m not gay. It was just. . .”

“You sucking face with some girl,” Dawn finished for her. “Right, I can see how that wouldn’t make you gay.”

“Ugh!” Buffy huffed, standing from the bed and snatching her robe from the chair nearby. “I’m not, she’s just really nice, and I was a little drunk, and it just felt right, and I couldn’t stop once we started because she was a really good kisser, and I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” Buffy waved her hands around; making sure Dawn knew she was upset.

“Chill out, Buffy,” Dawn told her sarcastically. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, Willow’s gay too and it’s not like any of us treat her different or anything. You don’t need to get your giant panties all twisted about it,” she chuckled.

Buffy scrunched up her brow and tried to concentrate. “I don’t have giant panties,” she muttered as she grabbed her hairbrush from Dawn’s bed and ran it through her hair.

Dawn shifted position, laying on her belly and looking up at Buffy as she sat at the stool by the dresser.

“Do you think you got infected with gay or something? First Willow, then you. . .if Xander’s next it might be a demon that’s doing it,” Dawn chattered, twirling a finger in her ponytail.

“I did not get infected with gay,” Buffy assured, sighing. “Nobody did. Willow’s gay because she. . .just is, and Xander’s about as straight as they come, and I’m. . .” She sighed again, at a loss for what to say or think.

She’d kissed Tru and liked it. She’d wanted more, thought about more. It hadn’t been the first time either; hidden in her deep dark hole of denial was a past littered with thoughts about the fairer sex. She’d brushed them aside, called them something else, refused to acknowledge them. Faith had caused most, as soon as she’d spotted her on the dance floor of the Bronze. It had been hard to ignore then, tough to put down to anything but attraction. But Buffy had been able to sweep it under the proverbial carpet, turning it into mock disdain before crumbling just a little. . .until things had taken a big turn for the gruesome. After that, whatever latent feelings she’d had were pushed aside completely.

Tru had brought it all flooding back. Buffy couldn’t doubt that, nor ignore it.

“I’m really confused right now.” Buffy finished her sentence quietly, putting the brush down on the dresser.

“Who is she?” Dawn asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Her name’s Tru,” Buffy replied, smiling just a little as she said it.

“Was it the swirly peephole or did she really look freakily like Faith?” Dawn continued.

Buffy thought about lying; it wasn’t as if she told Dawn everything, especially not lately. She knew her sister was about the least judgmental person she knew, however. Despite Dawn’s faults, and their love/hate relationship, Buffy felt like she could talk to her. . .just a little at least. Just to help her sort it out in her own mind.

“Yeah, very like Faith,” Buffy confessed, taking a breath full of woe. “They’re pretty much identical. Twins in fact.”

“Wow,” Dawn said, her mouth dropping open as Buffy watched her reaction. “I didn’t know she even had a sister.”

“Neither did I. Chance meeting and oops I fell on her lips,” Buffy said, rubbing at her brow and the headache that had taken firm hold.

Dawn moved up to sit on the end of the bed, her ponytail half falling out from where she’d been playing with it.

“I always knew you had a thing for Faith, but getting with her twin is kinda. . .strange,” Dawn told her, obviously attempting not to provoke Buffy too much.

“It’s not like I planned it. We went out so I could find out more about her, and then I was having fun, and she was so sweet, I couldn’t help but. . .wait, you always knew I had a thing for Faith? How could you know that? I wasn’t even sure I knew that,” Buffy said in exasperation.

Dawn tried to hide her chuckle but it didn’t work. She rolled her eyes at Buffy before telling her “It was pretty obvious, though I guess I am kind of observant. All the teachers say so,” she beamed.

“Ok, so what exactly did you ‘observe’?” Buffy asked, trying to think of times she might have given herself away in the past.

“Little things, like how you’d smile at her, or how you’d try not to go staring at her too long. When you did stare at her too long though, it seemed like you wanted to know what the inside of her pants looked like,” Dawn explained simply.

“I so did not,” Buffy protested, shaking her head.

She had to admit to herself that she’d wondered about the inside of Faith’s pants a fair few times, quite inappropriately. It wasn’t her fault if Faith had worn extra tight leather and had a sexy backside, though. She couldn’t be held accountable for thinking lewd thoughts, especially as she’d tried her best to ignore them.

“I saw it, Buffy, and I’m pretty sure she did too,” Dawn told her. “And she definitely did the same to you, like all the time.”

Buffy sat and thought about Faith for a second; trying to remember the times they’d been together and shared furtive glances and unnecessary touches. She could see now that it was pretty obvious, but at the time fear - and Angel – had kept her from understanding it and indulging in it. She had never been certain Faith liked her, but looking back. . .she couldn’t deny the fact there were signs; big flashing signs that said Faith wanted her, and that Buffy’s ignorance had helped mess up anything they ever could have had, friendship included.

“You really think she liked me like that?” Buffy asked, knowing the answer now already.

“Without a doubt, Buffy. She would talk about you when you weren’t around, and I know I was young but I could tell she was totally hot for you,” Dawn answered.

Dawn had spent a fair bit of time with Faith before all the bad stuff had happened. She’d liked Faith, had seen her as a rebellious role model with her bad attitude and her cool clothes. It wasn’t something Buffy had encouraged at the time. Faith was a loose cannon, and her sister’s safety was never far from her mind. So she’d eventually made sure Faith didn’t get to see much of Dawn; telling her she was busy with schoolwork or friends, when all Faith wanted to do was say hi. It hadn’t been a nice thing to do, and it was one of many things Buffy now regretted.

Buffy picked at a thread on her robe, her brows knitted, head thumping and mind spinning in circles. Everything was moving so fast it seemed. She didn’t know if she was ready to keep up.

“So you’re at least a little bit gay then huh?” Dawn said, more a statement than a question.

The slayer shrugged, she didn’t have the answer. All she knew was that she’d had thoughts about Faith, and now about Tru. If it made her gay she didn’t know, maybe bi, or just looking for somebody that fit her side of the puzzle piece. Nobody had done that so far. There had been a time she thought Angel was her other half, but it was more of a need to cling to something she thought was solid. It was never going to work; he didn’t fit her complicated puzzle shape. She didn’t know if anybody ever would.

“You can’t tell mom about this, Dawn,” Buffy said firmly. “Let me figure it out before anybody finds out in fact.”

“I won’t tell anybody,” Dawn assured, pushing herself up off the bed. “You might be hell to have as a sister, but I wouldn’t tell people stuff like that. Anyways, I think it’s kinda cool you’re a lesbo, but I wish it was Faith you could be with and not Tru. . .yunno, if she wasn’t all psycho and in jail ‘n stuff.”

Dawn left Buffy sitting alone as she disappeared into the bathroom. Sometimes her sister saw things so simply. Buffy didn’t have that luxury; she wasn’t comfortable with the whole label thing, and she couldn’t figure out if it was Tru she liked or still just Faith. Whatever the case, she wasn’t into her boyfriend anymore, that was clear.

Head pounding even more than before Buffy set about getting ready to leave, feeling like a changed person. Maybe not changed exactly, but certainly altered.

Arriving home, feeling somewhat relieved to be in a place she felt safer, Buffy flopped down onto her bed in her dorm and covered her eyes with her arm, trying to stop herself from thinking. The journey had felt longer than ever, the feeling of leaving behind the two girls occupying her thoughts making her itchy and uncomfortable. She’d felt the sudden urge to call Tru before leaving, then scrapped that idea in favour of seeing Faith. . .just to see her. Just to look. She hadn’t done that either, which she was glad about. That would only have made things worse. She wasn’t ready for big revelations and Faith would have wondered what the hell she was doing there.

Closing her eyes and feeling the snug comfort of her bed, Buffy thought about taking a nap, hoping to recharge herself after yesterday’s rollercoaster of discovery. As she felt the fingers of sleep wrap around her however, a soft knock at the door roused her and forced her to open her eyes again. Shuffling off the bed, Buffy got to her feet and smoothed her clothes out so she could answer the door without looking too dishevelled. Pulling it open she winced internally and wondered why she hadn’t just ignored it.

“Hey, Buffy,” Riley said, looking a little lost.

“Hi,” she answered, not opening the door further to let him in.

“Didn’t hear from you yesterday, everything ok?” he asked, trying to look past her into the room.

“Everything’s fine, I was just busy. . .helping mom and stuff,” she lied. “I’m kinda tired though so. . .”

“Oh,” he mumbled, scratching at the back of his neck. "Maybe we can get together later?”

“I dunno, I have an assignment to finish, and there’s the slaying,” she explained, hoping he’d get the hint.

“Right,” he said, shuffling his feet. “You sure everything’s ok?”

He was obviously wondering why Buffy was being so cold, but she couldn’t find it in herself to act any different. She wasn’t ready to call it off right away - she still had to figure some things out - but she certainly didn’t want to have to spend time with him, trying not to let him touch her and act like they were ok.

“It’s fine, I just need. . .a little space,” she said, cringing at the line.

He looked suitably shocked and somewhat upset.

“I thought we were doing ok now,” Riley responded.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t going to lie, but now wasn’t the time to make rash decisions. She did still like him. . .it just wasn’t how it had been.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” she asked. “I just need today alone.”

“Yeah, I just thought we could spend some time together and reconnect,” he explained.

She knew all too well what reconnecting meant, and she didn’t want to go there. Not now. Her mind was on other things, other people. The last thing she wanted to do was have sex with her boyfriend, and that pretty much told her all she needed to know about where they were headed.

“Not tonight, Riley,” she told him. “I’ve got things to do. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Buffy didn’t wait for him to protest or try to talk her round, before smiling and closing the door as he backed away. She didn’t feel good about blowing him off, but it was better than the alternative. Leaning her head against the door as she felt the pangs of guilt wash through her, she promised herself to let him down gently when she saw him next. It was the only way. She couldn’t pretend.

Buffy also realised she needed to talk to somebody - other than her sister - about what she was feeling. Keeping it inside until it ate her away was not a healthy option. Without giving it a second thought she pushed herself away from the door and went to pick up the phone, calling Willow and asking her to meet her alone later. Buffy needed to work up to telling her about Tru and what had happened, and hopefully a little slaying action would help to relax her enough to talk without getting stressed.

She spent the rest of the day working through half finished assignments, finding it difficult to concentrate while thinking about Tru. Of course, thoughts about Tru soon drifted to thoughts about Faith, and from there on it was impossible to even look at her blank page without her mind wandering. It’s not like she was having ‘dirty’ thoughts about them, mostly. She just couldn’t stop comparing. There was no getting away from the fact that though she liked Tru because of her personality, she also liked her because she looked like Faith. It was like the perfect mix; Faith’s good looks, and Tru’s sweet nature. The mix was almost too good, as if somebody had seen her inner most desires and made them real.

It was no use agonising over it. She had to accept that she was hot for both girls in different ways. It was hard to accept it let alone even say it to herself, but there was no point in lying; Tru had made her smile, made her feel special, and turned her on, and Faith. . .well, she’d always turned her on, but it had been easier to ignore it, easier to imagine it hadn’t happened. There had been sweaty training sessions that had tested her limits of self-deceit, close encounters while slaying that had pushed her into heated dreams about Faith at night. . .but Buffy had managed to keep it to a minimum. She was nothing if not focused.

When the time rolled around for her to meet Willow to go on patrol she almost felt like calling in sick. Having to explain herself wasn’t a fun idea, but she knew Willow would want to know what had happened, and she couldn’t avoid the fact that talking to Willow was probably about the best thing she could do. Willow had recently discovered her inner-gay, falling for a girl without even realising she had those kind of inclinations beforehand. It certainly couldn’t hurt to get her best friend’s advice.

After pocketing her essential slaying weapons Buffy made her way to knock on Willow’s door, waving to Tara before they left, thankful Willow didn’t ask questions right away. She waited until they were safely in the first graveyard before the conversation went from light to confessional.

“You gonna tell me what happened, or do I have to force it out of you?” Willow enquired as they walked slowly along the main cemetery path.

“No forcing necessary,” Buffy assured, “though a stiff drink might help.”

She grinned at Willow as she received a concerned look.

“You can talk to me about anything yunno,” Willow told her, her sweet smile breaking down Buffy’s defensiveness. “I’m all ears. Non-judgmental and best friend type ears.”

“I know, Will,” Buffy responded. “It’s just not easy. I mean, I know I wanted change. I don’t even know why I wanted change. . .maybe it’s because I’m bored with normal. The change is kinda drastic, though.”

“Normal?” Willow asked, just as a vampire chose that moment to crawl out from under a fresh pile of earth.

Buffy instantly made her way towards it, pulling her stake from her jacket pocket and giving it a twirl.

“How can you call your life normal?” Buffy’s best friend continued, staying back. “I mean, you kill monsters and things. You dated a vampire. You died and spawned your evil nemesis Faith. . .in a way.”

“She’s not evil,” Buffy called to Willow as she ducked the newly emerged vampire’s fist.

“No?” Willow responded. “Are we no longer meant to not like her?” she asked, sounding puzzled.

“Really? I have no clue,” Buffy said, rolling to the side as her feisty foe gave her a run for her money. “Stay still,” she told it.

A flurry of fists were exchanged, with neither Buffy or the vampire seemingly getting the upper hand. Angst and slaying never seemed to be a good combination; Buffy’s concentration always bore the brunt.

“Ok, I think I missed something, or you need to start at the beginning,” Willow told her.

“The whole non-date date I had with Tru kinda turned into more of a date than I’d planned,” Buffy confessed, punching the vampire hard in the face. “Ow!” she yelped, shaking her hand. “Did you come from the same factory as Adam?”

“Huh?” he grunted, cocking his head like a trained dog.

“Never mind,” Buffy said, shaking her head and jumping forwards, finding herself on the end of a quick foot headed for her stomach.

“That looked painful,” Willow commented, clearly wincing from behind a large headstone.

“You’re going down,” the vampire gloated as Buffy got back to her feet and dusted herself off.

Buffy swept her leg out, causing the big guy to tumble over. “So unoriginal, yet not too far from what I’ve been thinking lately.”

She didn’t give him time to ask what she meant, thrusting her stake down into his chest. He turned to dust with a surprised look on his face.

“He was getting annoying.”

“I could see that,” Willow pointed out with a nod.

Once Buffy had wiped her hands on her jeans and slid her stake back into place they continued to walk and talk.

“So it turned into an actual date then? I knew it,” Willow said, her smile all goofy.

Buffy smiled too – unable to help herself - and nodded. “She was really nice, and it was fun just being around her. The kissing was nice too. And now Dawn thinks I’m gay, and I don’t know what I am. I do know that I’d like to see Tru again,” she admitted.

“Really? So she converted you in one night? Wow, she must be something.”

Tru definitely was something, but Buffy had to concede that one night did not a gay girl make.

“Well, she’s pretty wow, but I can’t put it all down to her,” Buffy confessed. “There were times before that kinda make me think I’ve had it inside, just waiting to be pushed out of me.”

“That doesn’t sound too good. In fact it kinda sounds like an Alien movie. Like your inner gay is gonna burst through your chest and run around squealing on the floor,” Willow said, her eyebrows raising into her hairline. “And living in this place, I’m not too sure if that could actually happen.”

Buffy snickered and scuffed her boots on the floor as they walked along the dark path. “I’m pretty sure nothing is actually going to burst out of me. I mean, it didn’t with you, unless you kept it quiet.”

“Nope, there was no bursting other than out of the closet when we were all fighting,” Willow assured. “So, explain; what times are we talking about here that make you think it’s always been there?”

Buffy took a deep breath and hoped her friend would understand. She barely understood herself so she was taking a risk with her honesty. Plus, Willow wasn’t exactly a fan of Faith.

“I guess it started with Faith,” Buffy told her.

“Faith that we’re not calling evil anymore?” Willow asked.

“That’s the one, haunter of my dreams and nightmares.”

Buffy stepped from the rocky path onto the soft grass of the cemetery, leading them to an old broken tomb she sometimes liked to sit on if it was a nice night. It was sheltered under a large tree that had grown slightly crooked, its limbs drooping with age. She hopped up onto the stone slab and Willow followed suit.

“I guess being with Tru made me realise what I’d felt for Faith,” Buffy told her.

“The overwhelming need to kick her in the head?” Willow asked, unable to hide her little smirk.

“Well, I did feel that towards the end with Faith, and sometimes in the middle. . .and actually at the start too, but there was more to it,” Buffy responded. “I think I noticed right away that she was cute, and hot, and that it gave me strange little tingles.”

“Tingles are nearly always a sign.”

Buffy nodded and continued. “But I ignored it. . .as much as possible, which was quite a lot. I got the art of ignorance pretty much perfected. And after everything that happened I guess I just pushed it out of my head.”

“But Tru showed up and kapow. . .you have tingles again?” Willow asked, sitting crossed legged next to Buffy and giving her all her attention.

“Yep,” Buffy confirmed. “Lotsa tingles and a whole load of memories to deal with about how much I’d really actually liked Faith.”

“That’s gotta be pretty confusing.”

“Totally. And every time I think about Tru I think about Faith too, and that’s not great. Faith’s in jail; anything we ever could have had is long gone. We’ll never be fixable,” Buffy said quietly, wondering if that’s what she truly wanted.

She’d tried not to think about Faith since the last moment she’d seen her at the police station, but she was always lingering somewhere in her mind. Faith had arrived in her dreams a few times in the past, being somewhat provocative, teasing, touching Buffy or being partially naked – though she’d only just accepted the reason why – but since that day in LA Buffy’s dreams of Faith never had quite the element of fun in them that she’d enjoyed. She felt like they were truly broken.

Willow rested her hand on Buffy’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I can’t say I’m not a little surprised, Buffy,” Willow confessed. “I mean, all I really remember is the bad stuff. I know you had some fun times with Faith before that, though. And I know she really liked you. I guess I just didn’t think you’d ever be flying a rainbow flag.”

“Me either,” Buffy said with a soft laugh. “But then, I could say the same for you. One day I know you as straight-Willow, and the next you’re all about the girl on girl.”

“It’s all about the girl. For me it’s Tara, and for you it’s Faith. . .and Tru,” Willow said.

“And maybe once Cordelia, but that’s because she’d walk around all naked in the shower after gym,” Buffy said with a giggle.

“Did you used to check out Cordy in the shower?” Willow asked, her mouth dropping open as Buffy nodded. “Buffy Summers, you’re a giant perv.”

They both started laughing, the tension of the last few days dropping from Buffy momentarily. Her cover was blown, for herself as much as anybody else; she wasn’t just the straight girl they’d all believed her to be. It felt scary, but Buffy couldn’t hide any longer. She couldn’t live her life worrying and denying; there wasn’t time for that.

“So what are you going to do?” Willow asked as they jumped down from the tomb to continue patrolling.

“I really don’t know,” Buffy said with a sigh. “I can’t stay with Riley, I know that for sure. It’s just not going to work. And I can’t even begin to think about getting in touch with Faith; too much happened. We lost any chance we had. Which leaves Tru. . .and she’s so easy to be with.”

“Sounds kinda like you do know what you want to do then,” Willow pointed out.

“I guess,” Buffy shrugged. “I’d definitely like to see Tru again.”

It seemed simple when she said it all out loud, but inside she was still a mess. It was a big leap to make. Being with Tru would change more than just who she kissed or who she slept with, it would make people label her and discriminate against her. It was a pretty scary thought.

They finished the rest of the patrol mostly talking about college work, with Buffy just occasionally feeling the need to gush about Tru and how gorgeous she was. It made Willow chuckle and call Buffy smitten already. Buffy didn’t know if she was smitten, it could have been residual feelings for Faith being transferred onto Tru, or it could just have been because she really did like the girl and the way she’d been with her.

Kicking her shoes off and relaxing as soon as she entered her dorm, Buffy promised herself to at least try to separate Tru from Faith. They weren’t the same person after all, despite their looks. She had to keep that firmly in mind.

As she turned back her covers and started undressing for bed, she stopped and looked towards her cupboard at the far end of the small room. Slowly, Buffy headed that way, discarding her top and her pants as she went. She pulled open the door and shoved aside her clothes on the rail, looking deep into the darkness within. A shoebox lay hidden under some dirty laundry and Buffy bent down to fish it out. Throwing a slightly stinky sock back to the floor from its lid, she took the box over to her bed and sat down. Her fingers prised open the top and slipped within as she searched for what she’d almost thrown away on numerous occasions.

She had never followed through and banished it to the trash. There it lay, buried under a stack of old photographs and letters. . .her one picture of Faith.

It was from prom night, the one Buffy had mostly missed. Faith was in a small black dress, looking stunning though still dangerous and sexy. She was stood next to Xander, as he’d wanted the picture so he could ogle Faith in private. Buffy had never given him the copy, keeping it stashed away, out of sight out of mind. She looked at it now and shook her head, her fingertip softly brushing over the image of the other slayer. It hurt somewhere deep inside to know they’d become so broken, so lost. Buffy couldn’t doubt now that she’d had a huge crush on Faith. . .but it went deeper. It made her heart ache, and that was almost as terrifying as ever imagining seeing Faith again.

There was no turning back.

Buffy put the shoebox on the floor beside her bed, and placed the photograph of Faith in her bedside cabinet drawer. Closer, but not close enough.

 

 

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