The ache in Buffy’s head had intensified since her encounter with Faith earlier that day. She couldn’t stop driving herself insane; questioning herself. Questioning her motives with Tru and her feelings for Faith. She’d fallen so easily under Faith’s spell and the guilt was eating her up already. Guilt for doing what she had with Faith behind Tru’s back, and guilt for not having told Faith about Tru in the first place.
No matter how she tried to justify it all, she couldn’t. But she also didn’t want to just walk away from Tru. Her moral high ground was getting lower every day, but it was hard to care when she thought about how nice it was being with Tru. Tru made her feel something nobody else had ever seemed to make her feel. She felt free around Tru – despite the weight of her guilt. She felt normal. It felt like she had a chance to just be ‘Buffy’ with Tru, and though it was coming at a price it didn’t deter her from wanting to enjoy that sensation. It was a sensation she hadn’t felt in a long while, so she was damn well sure she was going to cling to it.
All she had to do was ignore the fact that if Tru ever found out about Faith. . .her little piece of happy would come crashing down on her like a ton of bricks. She was tough, but she doubted she’d be getting up and walking away without a few scars from that kind of calamity.
The shower she’d taken to wash away her aroused state hadn’t exactly helped Buffy deal with how she felt about her and the insanity of the situation. She could practically still feel Faith’s fingers on her. She’d been so close to coming for Faith. It freaked her out, with a side order of “Oh my God!” for good measure. It made her hot, horny and disgusted with herself all at once. There would be no forgetting what had happened anytime soon. And there would be no easy way of dealing with Faith after that; especially with the way things had ended.
Faith’s ego would have taken one hell of a beating and Buffy hoped it wouldn’t help her slip back into old habits. She didn’t want that to happen. She didn’t want to lose Faith again to her self-destructive and insecure fondness for hitting out at everything around her that caused her pain. Buffy would have to try to fix things, but she had no clue how, and right now. . .all she could think about was seeing Tru so she could attempt to wipe the memory of Faith’s fingers and lips away.
They were meant to be getting together the following day. Buffy had the bus ticket already, having convinced Tru that she didn’t need to drive all that way to pick her up, but Buffy wished she could go sooner.
Biting at her already short fingernails, Buffy gazed at the phone on her bedside table. She doubted Tru would mind her arriving early – a whole day early so they could spend that night together. It was probably a good idea to call her first, however. The last thing she wanted to do – other than cheat on her with Faith of course – was overstep the mark.
She slowly approached the phone, images of Faith filtering into her mind. Pushing them out wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. She hadn’t spoken to Faith since she ran out slamming the door behind her, and even though her brain was telling her she should call and apologise, the only person she wanted to call right now was Tru. There was no way she could speak to Faith yet. Not only did she not have a clue what to say, but hearing Faith’s husky voice would probably send her panties back to squishy town and she didn’t want to have to shower again.
Her fingers drummed over the buttons on the phone but she paused and cancelled it, punching in a different number instead. She needed transport.
Buffy called Giles first, not beating around the bush and asking right away to borrow his car. She managed to convince him that there was some emergency in LA that required her slaying know-how. He wasn’t sure why Angel couldn’t deal with it alone, but Buffy was getting better at lying everyday and pretty soon he was encouraging her to go, ever the proud watcher. Once he agreed Buffy did a silent dance of joy, pushing aside the growing ball of guilt at lying to everybody she cared for. She needed to be in LA.
After telling Giles she’d be on her way soon Buffy called Tru, her fingers crossed behind her back. If it transpired that Tru wasn’t in, or that she wasn’t keen on Buffy arriving a day earlier than planned then she didn’t know what she’d do. She’d have to find Willow and confess all just to get it off her chest and that was out of the question right now. She was still mad at Willow and not in a hurry to have any deep and meaningfuls with her anytime soon.
Luckily Tru was at home and happy that Buffy wanted to move their schedule forward. Buffy spoke to her as cheerfully as possible; hoping that Tru wouldn’t get suspicious. Of course, as far as Tru was concerned there was nothing to be suspicious about. She even offered to pick Buffy up, but Buffy declined in favour of Giles’ worryingly fragile car.
“I’d love you to come up tonight, Buffy,” Tru told her.
“I’ll see you soon then,” Buffy agreed with a grateful sigh.
Pretty soon she’d be able to get Faith right out of her mind. Well maybe not completely, but there was more hope of that being the outcome than if she’d spent the night alone with her thoughts and the possibility of continuing where Faith had left off.
Once she’d thrown some things in to a bag and made sure she was presentable, Buffy made her way to Giles’ apartment thinking about how she was making the right choice. She would never be able to have the same kind of relationship with Faith that she could have with Tru. There would be no calling Faith up on the spur of the moment wanting to get together and canoodle. She wouldn’t be greeted with sweetness and warmth, it would be all bravado and boobs with Faith. And though Faith’s boobs were certainly magnificent. . .there was more to life than boobs. Besides, Tru’s boobs were practically identical to Faith’s anyway so it wasn’t as if Buffy was really missing out in that respect. Not really. Right?
There was no point dwelling on such small – or not so small – details. It would only lead to bad things, or back towards the bad things that had already happened.
“We’ll both be back in one piece,” Buffy reassured Giles as he flustered a little about her driving ability and his car.
She was on her way, and she’d soon find out if it was a good idea seeing Tru so soon after Faith had seduced herself into her pants. There were no guarantees she wouldn’t crack and confess all to Tru. If it hadn’t been for her cellphone going off then she would have come for Faith, and would have touched Faith right back in hopes of doing the same to her. That couldn’t be excused and Buffy knew she was once again very much in the wrong and it weighed heavily on her.
The fact she knew for sure that it wouldn’t have ended right there on the floor was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach. She had no doubt they would have quickly found their way to Faith’s apartment to continue. Her body yearned for a do-over with no interrupting cellphone so they could do just that, but what a monumental mistake that would have been. At least she’d escaped with a small slither of self-respect in tact. A very small slither.
Though Buffy’s driving skills lagged badly behind most of her other skills she got to LA with little fuss and in good time. Her stomach kept tying itself into knots, but she willed herself to relax. With each bout of knots came a flurry of butterflies, however, and they were harder to deal with. Mainly because she liked the butterflies as they were there for all the right reasons.
Regardless of her quicker than expected arrival it was still quite late by the time she pressed the buzzer connected to Tru’s apartment. Buffy yawned and waited for an answer, her hand fiddling with her clothes in order to make herself look less wrinkled. . .and less on the verge of uber-horniness that was caused by somebody other than her new girlfriend.
“Relax, relax, relax,” Buffy muttered to herself, trying to see her reflection in the chrome surround of the buzzer panel.
Her hair was a little messy in her ponytail but it would do. People told her she looked cute a little mussed, and she was definitely hoping that Tru would keep finding her cute. She didn’t want to lose Tru as well as Faith.
After being let in and climbing the stairs Buffy walked her way towards Tru’s door. She saw that it was slightly open, waiting for her entrance. At least she wouldn’t have to knock and stand outside in the hallway. Not that the hallway wasn’t nice – it was actually very nice as far as hallways go – but she didn’t much like the thought of people peeping through their spy holes trying to see who it was that was visiting their neighbour so late. The thought of people guessing about them or possibly listening in later on made her shudder. Not that she was planning to make any noise or do anything noise worthy – well, not really – but the creepy feeling was still there.
Before she could push the door open the rest of the way and peek around to see where Tru was, Tru opened it wider, a beautiful smile on her face.
“Hey,” she greeted, giving Buffy a quick look up and down.
It wasn’t the same up ‘n’ down that Faith would normally give her – not being quite as obvious or sexual – but it had almost the same effect. Buffy felt her insides tighten and her heart rate picked up slightly as if readying her for something. It was normally readying her for battle with Faith, but with Tru there would be no fighting.
“So,” Buffy began coyly, walking in to the apartment as Tru held the door open, “I was just passing and. . .yunno, thought I’d drop in.”
Tru chuckled and Buffy felt more of her insides tighten on instinct.
“Well I’m glad you did,” Tru responded, closing the door behind Buffy. “But you should know. . .my girlfriend’s due to turn up any minute.”
They smiled at each other and Buffy felt some of the weight lift from her shoulders. This was easier than she’d thought it would be. She’d made the right decision to come.
“I bet I’m cuter than her,” Buffy joked, settling down her bag and stepping closer to Tru.
Tru furrowed her brow and cocked her head a little to the side, thinking it over.
“There’s not a right way for me to answer that, huh?” she asked, her smile completely infectious.
She was right of course; Buffy was both girls, and the conversation was destined to become confusing if they continued down that path.
“Just tell me I’m cute and you’re happy to see me and we’ll call it quits.”
“Oh you’re definitely cute,” Tru assured. “And I am happy to see you.”
It was Tru’s turn to step closer and as she did so she took Buffy’s hands in her own and guided them around to her back. Buffy was instantly bathed in Tru’s scent; warm clothes, shampoo and freshly shower-gelled skin. It was obvious then why she hadn’t come down to greet Buffy at the main entrance. Tru had been taking a shower.
“I’m happy I came early,” Buffy told her honestly, vowing to be as truthful with Tru as she could be in every way but the way that would lead to bad things if she found out about Faith. “And you smell amazing.”
That was a little more honest than she’d planned and Buffy felt her cheeks redden a bit. Tru just smiled wider and closed the gap between them, kissing Buffy softly as Buffy felt herself melt in to Tru.
Their lips lingered for a long while, just enjoying each other’s close proximity and the sensation of kissing. The black cloud of guilt dispersed somewhat for Buffy but she knew it would be temporary. As soon as she was given freedom to think again she’d find herself feeling bad about what she was doing by not telling Tru about Faith, and what she had done earlier. For now, with her lips delightfully caressing Tru’s, the thinking could wait.
As a whole new set of feelings rumbled their way through Buffy, however, she realized they should probably stop. Her body was beginning to require more from Tru than just her lips, and it was too soon – way too soon – to be wanting that when Faith had been the last one in her panties. But damn did it feel good to be kissing Tru, all pressed against her with her hands lightly grasping tiny butt cheeks through loose cargo pants. She gave a little squeeze and Tru smiled against Buffy’s lips before pulling away.
Buffy almost felt like she should apologise for being so bold, but Tru didn’t seem in the least bit perturbed. In fact her own hands descended to Buffy’s ass and gave it a squeeze back. Instantly Buffy wanted to kiss Tru again – preferably until they were writhing on the floor together in a pile of discarded clothes – but she had to keep her libido in check at least once today.
When it became obvious that they should either move or arrange to stand there for the rest of the night, Tru moved out of the circle of Buffy’s arms, tucking her hair behind her ear as she bent to pick up Buffy’s bag.
“It’s late so I didn’t know if you’d wanna go out or not,” Tru said as she went to place the bag on her bed, leaving Buffy to try to compose herself and appear quite used to kissing girls all willy nilly and squeezing their butts.
She wasn’t used to it, even though it seemed to be a new habit of hers, and she was feeling ruffled in places she never even knew she had before. Dropping to the floor and offering herself up twice in one day, for two different girls, was probably not the best way to get to heaven. She had to behave herself.
“I’m ok staying in,” she said, happy just to be there.
They agreed to stay in and Tru ordered food, opening two bottles of beer for them as Buffy relaxed on the couch. So far things were going good and Buffy had been able to keep the Faith-thoughts to a minimum as they ate and chatted about normal things. It was nice just to talk about mundane daily life as opposed to demons and vampires and her ever more baffling love life. Now and then Tru asked Buffy if she was ok, which would shake her from her meandering thoughts of Faith. It might have been obvious that something wasn’t quite right to anybody that knew her better, but Tru didn’t know her that well yet so Buffy was able to put her mind at ease. Mostly.
Despite the few times Buffy’s thoughts had wandered it became clear that it was easy being in Tru’s company. She was funny and smart, and made Buffy feel comfortable in a way she rarely ever felt around anybody else. Shutting out Faith was getting easier by the minute in fact. With that thought making Buffy unwind even more she yawned widely.
“Tired?” Tru asked, her eyes smiling at Buffy in the low lamplight.
They’d been sat close, legs touching as they lounged comfortably, but no more kissing had ensued. Buffy was ok with that; she just needed to be at ease with Tru, safe and secure from anything that would make her mind do the crazy thing. She couldn’t deny that she wanted to be closer to her but she was being strong, and for once she was going to stick to her guns. And for once she wasn’t going to be scared.
“Yeah, I am a little tired,” Buffy confessed.
She yawned again, adding a stretch as her body got ready to find some rest. Tru’s gaze danced over her making Buffy stretch for that little bit longer. She liked being appreciated, and Tru’s now darker eyes made her feel prettier, more wanted. It was nice to be wanted. It was nice to be wanted by somebody as gorgeous as Tru – and Faith of course, but she wasn’t thinking about Faith. Buffy was doing a good job of not thinking about Faith.
“So, are you coming?” Buffy asked, glancing over to the bed by the window. “To bed,” she added quickly as she felt her own cheeks flush.
Faith would have jumped all over that with crude remarks and wiggling eyebrows. Tru just smiled, her dimples making Buffy’s stomach twitch just as much as crudeness would have done. Maybe more so. She wanted it to.
“I can still sleep on the couch. . .if you’d prefer,” Tru said without a hint of expectation in her voice.
Buffy didn’t have to think about her response to that for too long. She wanted to be close to Tru.
“No, I’d like to share, sleep with you, get snuggily,” she said, trying to sound confidant and composed. “But not with the nakedness stuff,” she added, just for her own piece of mind. “Yet.”
Tru chuckled and nodded, taking Buffy’s hand in hers and pulling her up from the couch.
“I promise I’ll only get naked when you’re ready,” Tru assured, the hint of a grin making Buffy give a short giggle because of her own neuroses.
“I’m bad at this huh,” Buffy said, shaking her head at herself.
She felt silly for being the way she was but she was still all kinds of confused; not just about liking girls and not knowing quite what to do, but about the whole twin sister thing. Life for her was never simple it seemed; always throwing her curveballs she had no clue how to hit. She knew it would be worth learning how to deal with this one, but it wasn’t going to be easy, and it was probably going to turn in to one hell of a mess. But she didn’t want to think about that.
Instead she concentrated on the feel of Tru’s hand in her own, stroking her thumb over soft skin and deciding that she deserved this. She deserved Tru.
Buffy got washed up for bed first, pulling on a tee shirt and some shorts, instead of pyjamas that would leave her far too hot next to Tru. They were soft cotton, pink, cute, and when she walked out of the bathroom Tru’s gaze once again slid over her body in a way that made Buffy feel good about herself. She didn’t look at her the same way that Faith did; Faith’s appreciative glances were predatory and dangerous, but Tru’s were soft and subtly exciting. They had a similar effect, however, and Buffy was beginning to become addicted to enjoying them.
Once Buffy had crawled under the sheets of the bed Tru made her way in to the bathroom. Buffy wondered if they’d ever have the chance to get to the stage where they’d be brushing their teeth side by side instead of separately. It could all fall down around her ears before they reached that point and that made Buffy a little sad. She liked being there. She liked the anticipation of what would come. She felt sure about Tru in a way that she didn’t about Faith – never had about Faith. Her hands wanted to reach out and cling on to this.
Settling down into the pillow Buffy took a deep breath of Tru’s scent. She allowed it to wash over her and make her smile. And it did make her smile.
Tru caught her as she left the bathroom, her eyes twinkling at Buffy across the room. Buffy felt slightly embarrassed about her goofy grin but she had to allow herself to feel the way she was. If she fought with it then she’d only be left with thoughts about Faith, and she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t push away something good in order to take a chance on a risk that she was trying to convince herself wasn’t worth it.
She continued to smile as Tru made her way towards the bed, her long dark hair tickling over her shoulders. She was wearing a loose fitting tee shirt that was small enough to reveal a cute pair of boi shorts hugging her slim hips and small backside. She was hot. Way hot. Not Faith-hot, but almost.
“Want anything from the kitchen?” Tru asked as she walked closer to the bed, Buffy’s eyes roaming all over her exposed skin.
“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Buffy answered, unable to stop staring.
It didn’t seem like Tru was bothered by the staring; she approached the bed and flicked off the lamp on the nightstand, eliminating the only false light in the room. Enough light from the large moon outside streamed through the window to make seeing just as easy. Buffy was grateful for that as she continued to watch Tru.
She could feel herself flushing all over as Tru slid under the covers next to her, bringing her scent and body heat with her. Buffy wished any awkwardness about sex was a thing of the past; she really wanted Tru. Wanted to reach out and touch her, and feel the weight of her, the pleasure she’d get from being pressed close. But they hadn’t gotten to that yet between them. It wouldn’t be easy just to reach out; it would be shy and new, and scary as fuck.
Buffy tried to look away but as Tru lay down beside her their eyes locked on one another, provoking all kinds of feelings inside Buffy. She couldn’t seem to get enough of those beautiful brown eyes, falling in to them and allowing herself to do so. She’d always stopped herself from looking too long in to Faith’s eyes, but she let herself do this with Tru. She couldn’t help but do it. She wanted to tell Tru that she was beautiful, that she was sexy, stunning, cute, adorable, perfect. But the words didn’t come out; instead Buffy leaned forwards and softly brushed her lips to Tru’s.
They didn’t kiss for long but when Buffy pulled away they were closer in the bed, and it felt less awkward than when Tru had first gotten in. Without speaking or tying herself in knots over the situation Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled just that bit closer, smiling as Tru lifted her arm so Buffy could lay her head on it. She was grateful that Tru was happy just with the kissing and snuggling, and that she didn’t make Buffy feel more weird about the situation by insisting on talking it out or edging them closer to what they’d get to in the end anyway. This was better than going too fast, even if it did mean that Buffy’s body all but burned up with the insistent desire bubbling just under her skin.
The day’s events had left her wound up, but this was not the time to go making anymore mistakes. She could deal. She could wait.
As they drifted off to sleep Buffy heard Tru whisper a faint goodnight and a promise that they’d do something fun tomorrow, then soft lips brushed against her forehead. Yeah, this was going to be good. And it wasn’t going to be about Faith – at all. Not if Buffy could help it.
What must have been only an hour or two later Buffy’s eyes slowly twitched open, easing her from her dreams as she took a few seconds to remember where she was. Her head was still resting against Tru’s arm and Tru was clearly still very asleep. She glanced over at the clock on the table on Tru’s side and groaned. She hated waking at stupid times at night, and she knew exactly why she’d done so tonight. She was too worked up to sleep.
At home she’d just slip out of bed, pull some clothes on, grab her stake and go hunting. But she couldn’t do that here, and she couldn’t attempt the other thing she’d normally try in order to fall back asleep either. Masturbating with Tru at her side was not going to happen. It was bad enough when she’d had to do it with Willow across the room in her own bed in the past, and she couldn’t risk being caught. Not after telling Tru she wasn’t ready for all that kinda thing.
That didn’t help her situation, and the fact the covers had slipped down to pool at their waists wasn’t helping either. She could see Tru clearly under the moonlight as it streamed over them. Her top had ridden up a little, revealing her stomach as she laid on her back, and a cute little bellybutton that made Buffy smile for inexplicable reasons. Tru was gorgeous - undeniably so - and Buffy wished she could rest her hand on the exposed skin before her. She wanted to feel the softness, and explore until she found the confidence to do something about the deep need inside her.
It seemed like a good idea. It seemed like a stupid idea. And it appeared that Buffy had made her mind up without her full consent as she slowly moved her hand towards Tru.
As lightly as possible, Buffy let her fingertips glance over Tru’s stomach. She shivered as she touched Tru’s warm skin, holding her breath, not knowing if she wanted Tru to wake up or not. It was probably best she stayed asleep, but then that would make Buffy a giant pervert for practically feeling her up as she lay fast asleep beside her. And feeling her up was becoming more of a possibility as her hand travelled slowly upwards, not content with staying on Tru’s stomach. As she felt each rise and fall of Tru’s breath Buffy inched higher, the flat of her palm enjoying the silky feel of the girl before her. She’d never touched anything that seemed so delicate, so soft and alluring.
Letting her hands run over a guy came nowhere close to this in terms of excitement and desire. The men she’d been with – not that she’d touched many at all in this way – were all big, with hair in places that made her far from excited. Tru was small and her skin was amazingly smooth, even where the slight dusting of goose bumps rippled up in Buffy’s wake. She knew she should stop before she went too far, but she couldn’t. As her fingertips reached the swell of Tru’s breast she felt compelled to continue. Her body and the longing inside that had been welling to this point pushed her on, whispering a silent ballad of seduction with promises of discovery and pleasure that would go beyond any she’d ever had.
Shifting herself subtly so she was leaning over Tru just a little, Buffy’s eyes followed the path of her hand as Tru’s top travelled upwards as she went. She licked her lips, desperate to lean down and taste the skin on show; no matter how inexperienced she was, no matter how worried about the outcome. Her resolve not to go too fast was being severely tested and her lungs were screaming for air as she held herself steady, trying not to breathe too fast. When her fingers began to chart the lush flesh of the breast she’d settled on Buffy felt the evidence of her desire trickle out between her legs.
Once again today she was soaked. Once again she was ready to take a step she’d been sure she could avoid in her need for control. She had no control in this, and Tru was beginning to wake up.
Buffy’s hand stilled on Tru’s breast just before she reached the peak of a nipple she could see was taut and ready for her. Tru’s tee shirt was tight enough to see that and it had only helped to urge her on.
“Buffy?” Tru mumbled sleepily, her eyes blinking open.
Buffy didn’t know whether she should pull her hand away and apologise or pretend to be asleep. She’d been so caught up in just touching Tru that she hadn’t thought far enough ahead to the possibility of having to explain herself. The fact that Tru wasn’t struggling away or removing Buffy’s hand went a little way to easing her mind, but she was still worried she may have just completely overstepped the mark.
“Sorry,” Buffy whispered, moving her hand slightly as if to take it away, not really wanting to move it anywhere but further up.
Tru looked up in to Buffy’s eyes, heavy lidded and not quite fully awake.
“It’s ok,” she said, the hint of a smile playing at her full lips.
Fingers lightly drifted over Buffy’s arm in encouragement as Tru’s chest rose and fell a little quicker, edging Buffy’s fingers towards their goal. She was nervous, unsure, and certain that this was probably the wrong time to do what they seemed to be doing, but Buffy was powerless to stop herself. Looking in to Tru’s eyes she pushed up under the tee shirt ruffled around her wrist, and allowed her fingers to reach the hard nipple straining towards her touch.
“Buffy,” Tru sighed, the word tumbling from her mouth as she closed her eyes.
For a few seconds Buffy wondered if it would feel as good to be touching Faith in this way. If Faith’s reactions would be the same. If Faith’s skin would feel as warm and as silky-smooth. Would it have her burning in the way she was now, or more so?
She tried not to think about it, tried as hard as she could, taking a deep breath in order to shove the comparisons from her head. It wasn’t fair to compare, it wasn’t fair at all.
Tru’s hand made its way up to Buffy’s shoulder, holding her lightly as Buffy rubbed over her in soft circles. She’d never felt another girl’s breasts in this way, or any way for that matter, and her insides were quivering with a mix of exhilaration and fear. When Tru licked her lips Buffy pulled a little on her nipple, causing a quiet gasp to focus their eyes back on one another. Buffy wanted more. She’d come this far and her body was on fire, her need more than evident between her legs.
Continuing to play with Tru’s eager nipple Buffy closed the small gap between them. She couldn’t stay away from those gorgeous lips much longer. Struggling not to remember how Faith’s lips had kissed her so perfectly earlier Buffy brought her mouth to Tru’s, teasing at her lips before slipping her tongue inside. They both sighed as their tongues lapped at each other lazily; the heat between them intensifying as Buffy massaged Tru’s breasts thoroughly, moving from one to the other as she became more confident.
The wet, inviting softness of Tru’s mouth stole any hope from Buffy about pulling away and stopping the inevitable. It was inevitable, and she needed this. She needed to take what she was yearning for. Even though the image of Faith kept trying to boot its way into her brain she was determined to continue - as long as Tru had no objections. And going by the fact she was now pushing up in to Buffy’s hand and moaning quietly, Buffy doubted there would be any objections at all.
She moved her lips over Tru’s jaw and down to her neck, enjoying the taste of her skin and the sounds that Tru made. Every reaction turned Buffy on more. Every subtle movement of Tru’s hips as she searched for contact intriguing her and intensifying the moment.
“Buffy,” Tru sighed again, her hand finding its way into Buffy’s hair as the arm around her pulled her closer. “Are you sure you wanna. . .”
The remaining words were cut off by a shuddering moan as Buffy’s leg dropped between Tru’s. Tru moaned again as Buffy pressed down just enough to feel warm wetness against her thigh.
“Oh God,” Buffy mumbled into Tru’s neck, every muscle tensing in anticipation and need.
Tru was so wet and Buffy wanted more than just to feel it through the material of her shorts. She’d missed the chance earlier of feeling Faith in the same way – dripping over her fingers – and she didn’t want to miss the opportunity again. Every inch of her told her to take what was clearly on offer.
“I’m sure,” Buffy said, kissing her way back to Tru’s lips.
Buffy could hardly recognise her own voice. It was thick and heavy with seduction, her desire obvious in more ways than one.
Lips met one another again, tongues exploring, teeth scraping. Buffy pulled Tru’s lower lip between her own and sucked causing Tru to push her hips upwards, grinding in to Buffy’s thigh and spreading her arousal over her skin.
“I wanna. . .I wanna touch you,” Buffy said with a slight quiver to her voice.
She didn’t know how exactly, or if she’d be any good but she had to have Tru. Her fingers itched to explore and she felt an incessant throb between her legs that demanded attention.
Tru pulled her down once again in to a deep kiss, deeper than before, and swept her hands over Buffy’s back. Buffy found the thigh between her own legs and rocked against it, tingling in all the places that felt good as their breasts smooshed together and their bodies found a rhythm. She couldn’t recall ever being so turned on – expect for maybe earlier that day, but that was a different kind of turned on and it had been tainted by too much guilt and the “warning, imminent danger ahead” alarms in her head.
“You can,” Tru assured as the kiss broke apart. “You can touch me, Buffy.”
With a groan born of pure lust Buffy crashed them back together again, sweeping her tongue in to Tru’s mouth and sliding her hand down across Tru’s taut stomach. She knew what she wanted to do and just the thought of it had her trembling with desire, but she’d never done this before. She’d come close with Faith, but there had been too many other emotions and feelings crashing around inside her then for fear and worry to get a look in. She had more room to think with Tru, and it was obvious that the thinking was bad. Clearly it was, because it was leading her to thoughts of Faith instead of what was at hand. . .literally.
Even though she was surprising herself with how hungrily and freely she was kissing Tru and had so far explored, they’d reached a point where things were about to go a whole lot further. Buffy grew a little more tentative as she worried about how she was going to do what she so desperately wanted to do. With Faith it wouldn’t be a problem as Faith would just take charge and she could be swept up on the wave of desire, but with Tru she wasn’t going to be over-powered, nor did she want to be. Buffy wanted to be the one to take Tru instead of the other way around. She didn’t know why for sure, but perhaps it had something to do with knowing she wouldn’t have that chance with Faith.
It always came back to Faith.
“Can we. . .be more naked?” Buffy asked a little shyly, chuckling as she recalled their earlier conversation.
Tru chuckled along with her, the throaty sound making Buffy dance inside.
“Definitely,” Tru answered with a nod.
Buffy smiled and moved off Tru enough to tug at her top, her stomach tightening as Tru’s breasts bounced out of their confines. She threw Tru’s tee shirt to the side without taking her eyes off her, all her blood rushing downwards as the throb intensified. She only just about had the presence of mind to realise that Tru was also trying to take her top off, so she lifted her arms, helping whilst also trying not to lose the contact they still had.
It was hot and sticky and Buffy was glad to have a little less material in-between her and the air, but mostly she was glad to have less between her and Tru. She made sure not to stop at just their tops, pushing aside any lingering embarrassment or awkwardness in favour of feeling more of Tru against her. She needed their bodies closer, sliding against each other in ways she’d never done before. A flickering memory of the dream she’d had spurred her on.
Her hand slid down Tru’s body, muscles tensing to her touch as she found the top of the boi shorts that she knew were soaked. Tru looked up at Buffy with trust and longing in her eyes, penetrating Buffy with their rich and passionate intensity. Buffy blinked, trying not to see Faith in her head, trying not to wish it were Faith; Faith’s hands trailing over her and down towards her waistband, Faith’s butt rising from the bed in order to allow Buffy to slide her shorts off, Faith’s body begging her to touch it, fuck it, hold it forever.
Buffy closed her eyes and wished Faith away as she tugged Tru’s underwear off and allowed her own to follow suit. Tru’s hands swept over her thighs, hips, sides, up to her breasts as Buffy hung over her. If she kept her eyes closed she could pretend it was Faith. If she kept her eyes closed she’d be lost forever, no going back, her heart tumbling for Faith all over again.
Without questioning herself Buffy opened her eyelids in a flash, looking deep into brown eyes as Tru’s hands moved over her breasts in just the right way to make her sigh in pleasure. Biting her lower lip Buffy enjoyed every sensation she was feeling as Tru kissed her way down to her chest. Holding herself over Tru, a little to her side, Buffy allowed Tru to kiss over her breasts and nipples. She grasped at the sheet below them as Tru sucked and licked, making Buffy a quivering wreck.
“Oh that’s good,” Buffy moaned, releasing the sheet in favour of tangling her fingers into Tru’s long, brown hair.
Tru scraped her teeth over Buffy’s nipple, not too hard but enough to strip away any of Buffy’s doubts. She encouraged Tru back to her lips, kissing her hungrily as she lowered herself. Both girls moaned in pleasure as they made contact again; their skin hot against each other, hands exploring and sensations escalating. The feel of Tru’s body pressed against her own made Buffy glow from head to foot. This was amazing. It felt amazing.
They moved against each other and Buffy could feel just how wet Tru was against her thigh. She pressed in to the soft place between Tru’s legs, her own arousal coating Tru in just the same way. Their hips fell into a rhythm and Buffy realized she wouldn’t last very long if they kept going. She’d been close once before today so she could only take so much before popping like warm champagne all over Tru. There needed to be more touching, however. She wanted more. Wanted what had been denied her earlier.
Buffy slowly pushed a hand between them, moving over Tru’s stomach as she gave herself just enough room to manoeuvre. Her heart was racing and her skin sweaty, every breath she took full of Tru’s scent; Tru’s heat and arousal making her dizzy as it enveloped her in the promise of ecstasy. Tru was breathing heavy and fast and she shuddered as Buffy’s fingers finally slid between her legs, into the wetness waiting for her.
Appreciative noises drifted from both of them as Buffy’s fingers slipped over Tru’s pussy, covering them both in her sticky juices. She couldn’t quite believe she was doing this, but there was no way she could stop now. Tru felt so good. Her pussy was all squishy and soaked and Buffy felt like she was getting high on the scent of it.
“Oh, Buffy,” Tru gasped as Buffy circled her clit.
Buffy may not have had any experience with another woman, but she wasn’t stupid. She knew where to touch. She knew basically what would feel good. She knew she’d give it her best shot so that Tru would come for her. That still didn’t mean she felt completely confident but Tru knew that, and Buffy felt strangely comfortable with learning this with her despite all the reasons she shouldn’t be. Listening to each sigh and gasp she soon learned just what Tru liked, moving her fingers over her slowly then quickly, pressing down on her swollen clit. Every sensual moan and roll of Tru’s hips made Buffy’s stomach flip, a deep longing inside clawing its way through the fear, and through the guilt.
She loved the way Tru’s wetness coated her fingers. The way it sounded and smelled. The way she’d quiver as Buffy drifted lower, teasing the source of that wetness, though not yet daring to enter her fully. One step at a time.
Before she realized that Tru had even moved she felt fingers sliding through her own arousal, spreading her pussy lips and finding her aching clit. A gasp shot out of Buffy and her mind unravelled. She closed her eyes and dropped her head to Tru’s shoulder, moving against the fingers rubbing over her. Her thoughts wandered as she found herself unable to focus on anything but the touching, the heat at her fingers and the pressure on her own clit. Her skin slid slickly against Tru, lips carelessly placing open mouthed kisses wherever she could reach; tasting, savouring, wishing.
Wishing this was somewhere else, with somebody else. Wishing her first experience – her first real, full experience – with a girl was with Faith.
“Oh,” Buffy gasped as they both sped up their movements. “Oh God. . .”
She caught herself before she said the wrong name, hating that she wasn’t strong enough to only think about Tru. She knew if she was the noble, self-righteous, moralistic person she’d always believed herself to be. . .she would stop this. Stop it before she came thinking of Faith instead of the sweet girl who didn’t deserve a girlfriend that had lied and fooled her into a relationship. But she couldn’t stop. She needed release.
“Buffy,” Tru moaned, her body twitching as Buffy’s fingers assaulted her clit. “Don’t stop.”
Buffy made herself focus. Her lips latched on to Tru’s neck, kissing and sucking as she worked her fingers even quicker, a little harder.
“Am I doing it ok?” Buffy asked breathlessly, feeling herself flushing at the question.
“Oh fuck, yes,” Tru sighed, every other breath a moan or gasp as she got closer to the edge. “I’m gonna come, Buffy.”
Buffy smiled against heated skin, fighting back the disappointment that it wasn’t Faith telling her that. It wasn’t Faith making her feel so good, as she did the same back. It wasn’t Faith. . .but her mind was playing tricks. As she lost control of herself into Tru’s touch, feeling herself release, she repeated Faith’s name over and over in her head.
“Oh, oh fuck,” Buffy breathed, biting down on her lip to stop more words coming out.
She didn’t want to yell out Faith’s name. The thought was cruel enough.
“So good, Buffy,” Tru cried out, her hips jerking up into Buffy as she came, sending Buffy flying over the edge with her.
They trembled together, clinging, breathing hard, juices spurting hot and plentiful from their quivering pussies. Buffy buried her face into Tru’s hair, every inch of her tensing as she came; hard and hot.
Still not trusting herself to keep from saying something stupid Buffy tried to catch her breath. Her body was buzzing, her skin wet, her pussy convulsing and sending trickles of come over Tru’s fingers as she kept them hovering close to her hole. She moved her own fingers, feeling the stickiness and the pulsing aftershocks inside Tru that made Buffy instantly want more.
She wanted more. She wanted it all night, but she’d been so close to calling out Faith’s name instead of Tru’s; she knew right away that they’d done this too soon. She wasn’t over Faith being back. She wasn’t over Faith at all. Not for this. Not when it came to fucking her identical twin. She still had to deal with her feelings for Faith if this was going to be what she wanted it to be. She had to have more control.
Slumping to Tru’s side Buffy plucked her fingers from the inviting warmth she wished she could play in all night. Tru smiled and pulled Buffy’s leg up over her, her hands moving round to Buffy’s back to hold her close as they both basked in the afterglow.
“That was so. . .” Tru sighed contentedly, her fingers making little patterns over Buffy’s skin as they cooled off. “Was that seriously your first time?”
Buffy couldn’t help but smile, pulling the covers over them and snuggling closer to Tru, finding it easier not to think about Faith now the deed was done.
“Yeah,” she replied a little shyly. “First time with a girl,” she lied, purposefully not thinking about how she’d almost had her first time with Faith.
That didn’t count. Not really. She needed it not to count.
Tru made another contented sound and Buffy felt proud, her muscles and mind relaxing together as she closed her eyes.
“That was definitely. . .wow,” Buffy agreed, pretending not to notice the little devil on her shoulder telling her that it wasn’t close to what Faith could have done for her.
It’d been good. More than good. And she wanted more, but not now. Not until she could control her mind and that pesky little devil.
“Sleepy now,” Buffy mumbled into a tumble of brown hair.
She felt a soft kiss on her lips and pressed back, happy she was with Tru despite her own confusion. Happy that she could look in to Tru’s eyes the way she was and see warmth and kindness, and not fury and danger. She didn’t want to be anywhere else right then. She wasn’t trying to fool herself, it was true. Buffy really did feel happy.
Happy to settle down into Tru’s arms and sleep, knowing she’d be there when she woke. Knowing that she’d be good for her. This was better than nothing, or the alternative. This was better than fighting.
Before closing her eyes for the last time that night Buffy kissed Tru’s forehead and whispered a thank you, smiling as Tru answered with a sleepy, unintelligible mumble.
This could be perfect. If perfect meant almost.