One Day I'll Find You


Chapter Thirteen

Sunlight streamed in through the large window to the right of the bed, warming Buffy, but not more so than the girl snuggled into her on her left. Tru’s head was resting mostly on Buffy’s chest, wavy brown hair draped over her and tickling at her skin as she breathed. A smile drifted over Buffy’s lips and she held Tru a little tighter with the arm around her back. That’s when she noticed the pins and needles in said arm. Scrunching up her brow Buffy wriggled her fingers. She must have had her arm wrapped around Tru for quite some time for it to have fallen asleep. She didn’t really mind, but she needed to move it.

“Tru,” Buffy said quietly, pushing back a tumble of dark hair away from Tru’s face with her other hand.

If she kept the hair where it was she could almost pretend that it was Faith pressed into her with their legs tangled together. But Faith would never be a snuggler. She’d never allow herself to be held so tenderly, or be so vulnerable.

“Tru,” Buffy whispered again.

Tru mumbled against her skin, her body slowly waking as Buffy stroked her short fingernails over her back. Images of the previous night skittered across her mind as Tru’s thigh moved against her between her legs as she shifted slightly. Morning sex wasn’t something Buffy had much experience with – Angel had been too busy eating his way through Sunnydale, she’d woken alone with Parker, and Riley. . .well, she’d never actually wanted it with him – but something was stirring inside her, and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

Tru mumbled against Buffy again as Buffy tried to ignore the tingling in her arm so she could concentrate on the tingling in her groin. They’d spent the rest of the night together completely naked; skin on skin, breasts against breasts, legs tangled and private places not so private anymore. It felt so intimate and. . .well, nice. She thought she could quickly get all kinds of addicted to waking up this way.

So what if people would start calling her mean names and expect her to shave her head and wear flannel shirts everyday; she liked this. She really liked being with another girl. And anyway, those old stereotypes didn’t hold much water these days. She knew plenty of lesbians who didn’t look butch or wear ‘gay clothes’. Actually, she didn’t know many lesbians at all, for sure – besides Willow, Tara, Tru and possibly Faith – which was actually quite a few now she came to think of it, but that was beside the point. The point being, if this was who she was then she couldn’t feel bad about it given the fact she got to be tangled up with such a gorgeous girl like Tru. She could live with the consequences.

As Tru blinked open her eyes and pushed unruly locks behind her ears she lifted her head to look at Buffy.

“I’m sorry,” Tru said sleepily, the morning husk to her voice making Buffy sparkle inside. “Didn’t mean to squash you.”

Buffy smiled and placed an unexpected kiss on Tru’s head. Unexpected because she hadn’t planned on doing it – her mouth had just found its own way there.

“You’re not,” Buffy assured.

They shared a smile and Buffy felt the flush of arousal as well as a slight undercurrent of nervousness. She’d never done the morning-after thing with another girl after all, and even though it hadn’t seemed like she’d performed badly with Tru last night she still had a niggling worry. She always wanted to be her best.

Tru yawned and lifted off Buffy a little way, enough for Buffy to move her arm some more to get complete feeling back. She didn’t let Tru go too far, however, happy to keep the contact between them that was making her feel all warm and tingly. Thankfully Tru didn’t get up altogether, ensuring Buffy got plenty of snuggles in before they would eventually have to leave the bed.

After a little small talk about their plans for the day and some lazy morning kisses, they finally left the comfort of the bed, stretching and looking for their discarded clothes. Buffy felt a bit shy about being naked and held the sheet up to her as she found her shorts and then her tee shirt, but Tru was a little less reserved. She pulled her underwear on and then stood up, topless and stunning as she lifted her arms to shake out her long, dark mane, every toned muscle rippling, and boobs standing proud.

Buffy licked her lips and found herself unable to take her eyes off Tru. It was like watching a half naked Faith with a little more weight on her bones, and her stomach did back-flips upon summersaults and butterflies as she reacted on instinct.

Closing her eyes to regain composure Buffy chastised herself for once again thinking about Faith. She had to stop that. She desperately wanted to.

“Do you want the shower first?” Tru asked.

Buffy opened her eyes again and groaned internally – Tru was still half naked, and Jesus was she hot. It took all of Buffy’s willpower to pry her gaze away from her perky nipples so she could actually look at Tru in the eye, and it must have been pretty obvious given Tru’s grin.

“It’s ok, you can go first,” Buffy replied, finding her voice a little shaky as her body screamed at her to pounce across the bed on to Tru.

Tru gave her a sweet smile and bounced into the bathroom, Buffy’s eyes glued to her butt as she went. If she were feeling braver she’d follow Tru in and shower right along side her, amongst other things, but she wasn’t feeling that brave about the situation yet. That didn’t mean that staying put and imagining Tru getting all soapy and wet was the easier option, however. It left her all flustered with her pervy thoughts.

Sighing dreamily and laying back on the soft bed temporarily – instantly enjoying the mixed aroma of the scents they’d made together that night – Buffy smiled to herself and chuckled at the turn her life had made. Though a lot of it was all messed up and crazy, this part - just being with Tru, wanting her and feeling safe with her - was pretty damn good.

“Mmm, sexy smell,” Buffy hummed to herself as she lifted the sheets around her, immersing herself in Tru’s scent.

She dropped the blanket back to the bed quickly - almost guiltily - as she heard the chirping of her cellphone from her bag. She hoped it was just her mother fussing about where she was and if she was safe. She’d be easy to trick; Buffy had spent most of her teen years bending the truth around her mother after all.

Answering quickly, Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes glued to the bathroom door.

It was Giles. Not good.

He told her they needed her back in Sunnydale, pronto. Faith had found a vamp nest that looked like it was planning an all out attack on the area it was right in the middle of, and she needed help. Giles sounded worried, and despite Buffy wanting to grumble at him about deserving some time-out time, she couldn’t really get out of going back to help – he thought she was in LA on another mission that didn’t involve getting wriggly with another girl. She couldn’t risk him calling Angel and finding out she wasn’t actually there with him. Buffy was left with no other choice. Her duty in Sunnydale came before everything else. Giles made sure to remind her of that duty.

“Angel will have to deal with his own demons – no ulterior meaning intended,” he said firmly.

Buffy lied, again, and told him she’d slayed his big bad so she could head back. There was no other way around it, and she certainly didn’t want Giles and Angel catching up and finding out she was a big fat liar.

“So. Not. Fair,” she grumbled, throwing the cellphone back into her bag once he’d hung up.

“What’s not fair?” Tru asked as she left the bathroom accompanied by a cloud of steam.

The tiny towel Tru barely had wrapped around herself made Buffy want to cry with frustration. She did not want to leave. She wanted to pull Tru towards her and unwrap her so she could be a tasty treat. Feeling her clit twitch as water dripped from Tru’s wet hair, trickling over her shoulders and down into her cleavage, Buffy decided she must have a curse on her. Much like Angel’s, Buffy’s ‘happy’ obviously came with a penalty too.

She explained to Tru that she had to go, blaming a family emergency. It was obvious that Tru was sad she couldn’t stay, but she didn’t get sulky or mad. Her understanding and compassion made for a rather nasty ball of guilt to strike Buffy in her stomach. Tru was being so nice, yet Buffy had done nothing but deceive and lead her on so far. And now it totally felt like she was taking a leaf out of Faith’s book with a bit of “get some, get gone” action.

The whole situation she’d gotten herself into was truly awful, but stupidly. . .she knew she’d keep digging the hole she was digging, with gusto.

After kissing Tru goodbye for several long minutes, which turned into several more long minutes of groping and ravishing that had Buffy’s legs shaking, she set off back to Sunnydale. Buffy felt her annoyance levels getting higher with every mile that passed. She’d really needed this weekend with Tru in order to bury the thoughts about Faith. Also, she was getting more and more suspicious about the so called vamp nest Faith was apparently worried about tackling alone. It didn’t seem right. Something was amiss.

By the time she pulled in to Giles’ drive Buffy was practically seething, for various different reasons. She was going to miss out on more Tru-smoochies and hot sex. She felt – in her gut – that the vamp nest was just a figment of Faith’s imagination. And she’d come to the conclusion that Faith had totally taken advantage of her the day before.

Faith had used Buffy’s guilt against her, pushing all of her buttons and getting her way because Buffy felt bad for not having told her about Tru. It was obvious now that she’d thought about it, with added irritation and disbelief. Faith was up to her old tricks, and even if Buffy wasn’t in the right herself. . .it wasn’t as if she’d done it all on purpose. Faith certainly had done what she had on purpose; you don’t go sticking your hand in to somebody’s pants by accident.

They were going to talk about it, and Buffy wasn’t going to let Faith act all ‘better’ than her. The situation needed to be dealt with, but first she’d do her duty like a good little slayer, and then sulk for a while about losing her Tru-filled weekend.

Busy thinking about what she was going to say to Faith, Buffy knocked on Giles’ door. She expected everybody to be there planning and preparing for the vamp nest she’d been called back to help with. There was no sound coming from the other side of the door, however, and when Giles finally answered – unhurriedly – she knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Ah, Buffy,” he said. “Did nobody call you?”

Buffy narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “Yes, somebody called me. You. This morning. To come and help,” she said slowly, emphasising each word as her anger threatened to boil over.

“Yes indeed,” he responded, scratching at the back of his neck as he held a steaming cup of tea in his other hand, “but Faith. . .”

“Don’t tell me,” Buffy interrupted, “Faith dealt with it.”

He sheepishly looked down at his slippered feet, and then pushed his glasses back up his nose as their eyes met again.

“She did,” he confirmed. “And I advised her to call you so that you would know there was no rush to get back.”

“But she didn’t,” Buffy pointed out.

“Clearly,” he murmured. “Maybe she wasn’t able to get hold of you. I’m sure she wouldn’t. . .”

“Be a total bitch and have me trail all the way back for nothing?” Buffy interjected, practically stomping her foot. “That’s just great.”

He pushed at his glasses again, trying to glance over her shoulder to check out the health of his car without being too obvious.

“The car is fine, Giles,” Buffy assured curtly. “Faith on the other hand. . .won’t be when I’ve finished with her.”

She turned on her heel and headed back to the street, faintly catching Giles asking her not to do anything rash, and to hear Faith out. He seemed sure it was a misunderstanding. He also seemed puzzled about why she was so upset considering she’d already finished helping Angel in LA.

Buffy didn’t bother to turn around and answer him, gripping her bag with white knuckles and storming off down the street. It wasn’t until five minutes later that she wished she’d hung around long enough to ask Giles for a lift. She wasn’t going to go back and make her exit look anything less than called for, however. She’d just have to walk to her dorm. It wasn’t far at least.

Once she’d reached the campus Buffy had imagined all kinds of confrontations with Faith, ranging from yelling at her so badly it caused Faith to cry, pushing her into a puddle, beating her up. . .and then kissing away her booboos, to just not talking to her at all. Each scenario got her more and more edgy, irritable, and horny. And horny was not a good state to be in as she planned to make sure Faith knew there could be nothing between them. She was sure of that and Faith would just have to listen and not be all “But it’s me you want,” and “Ooooh look, I’m so sexy and hot, and here. . .feel my boobs.”

No, Buffy was going to do this right. No more Faith. She never again wanted to be having sex with her girlfriend and thinking about Faith. It was wrong.

After dropping off her bag and searching for Willow it didn’t take long for her to realise nobody was around. Her best friend wasn’t in any of her usual places, and she wasn’t answering her phone. Xander wasn’t at home according to his answering machine either. Walking away from the dorm Willow shared with Tara she was left with only one option: to go to Faith’s apartment and have it out with her.

When she finally arrived at Faith’s apartment Buffy felt a string of different emotions. She hadn’t been there for a very long time – since the fight. Since stabbing Faith in the gut there. The place looked the same on the outside; the grays of the building looking drab and lifeless, speckled by bright lights from the large windows. It wasn’t a fancy place and wasn’t in a great neighbourhood, but the apartments weren’t cheap. They were for trendy people who didn’t mind living in the warehouse district in order to indulge in open plan living and the feeling that they were far from suburbia. Faith fit in well amongst the residents; young, different, out of place anywhere but there.

Buffy was glad to see they hadn’t had a buzzer system installed. She didn’t want to have to ask for an invite in; she’d never needed it before. She wanted to see Faith on her own terms, in her own time.

Climbing the steps to Faith’s top floor apartment she recalled another time she’d paid a surprise visit. The knife had practically vibrated inside her jacket that day, eager to prove a point to Faith. A very sharp and deadly point. Murder hadn’t been on Buffy’s mind that day, but the slayer inside her had other plans. She’d given in to the deep urges inside, unable to hold back when the knife had plunged in to Faith. The memory made Buffy wince. She grasped the railing and stopped on the stairs, looking up towards the closed door of Faith’s home at the top.

Her heart started to bounce in her chest making Buffy feel light-headed – just like last time, but for different reasons. She cocked her head, listening for movement. It had been loud music last time; pounding beats that had called Buffy forward. This time she heard giggling, and talking. Faith wasn’t alone.

Buffy sighed as she recognized Willow’s voice, followed by Xander’s. It soon became obvious why she hadn’t been able to find anybody; they were all here. Her anger bubbled up, resentment making her fists clench as she realised for sure she’d been played. There had never been a problem Faith had needed help with; she’d just wanted Buffy to miss out on her time with Tru. And she also probably wanted Buffy to see just how easily her friends had accepted her this time around.

She almost turned around and left them to it but a loud bang and a crashing noise from inside the apartment made her far too curious for her own good.

“What the hell are they doing in there?” she muttered.

Rolling her eyes at herself for not just leaving, Buffy traipsed up the rest of the stairs, trying not to scowl too much - she didn’t want her friends turning on her. If they were all now on Faith’s side she’d have to try to play nice. Slowly lifting her hand she knocked on the door and waited. She fidgeted, pulled at her clothes, ran her hand through her hair, wished she’d changed into something cuter than jeans and sweater. Buffy wasn’t good at waiting.

Thankfully she didn’t need to wait long. The door opened revealing a house full of enthusiastic people all crowded around a very large TV. Hardly even noticing Faith standing to the side waiting for Buffy to speak or enter, Buffy took in the sight of all her friends having fun. . .without her.

“You gonna come in or just stand there gawpin’, B?” Faith asked, finally getting Buffy’s attention.

Buffy glanced at her as she stood holding the door open with an amused look on her face. A tingle worked its way through Buffy as she recalled her night with Tru in which she’d thought about Faith; the memory of heated bodies and soft, wet places she’d discovered making her fight back a blush.

“I. . .I wanted to talk. . .” Buffy stuttered before shaking her head and getting control of herself in case Faith took the opportunity to get the upper hand. “I’m pissed at you, Faith. Seriously pissed.”

She stomped into the apartment, all but ignoring the friendly waves and hellos of her friends as they turned momentarily from the TV to acknowledge her entrance. They were playing a game on some console or other; Buffy didn’t know which or what game it was and she didn’t much care.

Spinning around to face Faith as she closed the door Buffy gave her a menacing stare. It didn’t have the desired effect and Faith breezed past her towards the couch beyond.

“Faith, I said I’m pissed at you,” Buffy repeated.

“Yeah, I heard.”

Faith shrugged and picked up a bottle of beer from the small table by her couch, watching as Willow excitedly hammered on her controller with Tara cheering her on and Xander trying to put her off. Faith added her own words of encouragement and Buffy thought they all looked like a fun gang. But. . .they were meant to be her gang.

She folded her arms and cleared her throat. Nobody but Faith turned her way, though Willow did throw her a slightly guilty smile.

“Faith, what the hell?” Buffy growled.

Faith raised an eyebrow and chugged down her beer, making Buffy’s eyes water just watching her. She placed the empty bottle back on the table and stepped a little closer to Buffy.

“There a problem?” Faith asked.

This wasn’t how it was meant to go. Buffy wasn’t even sure what to say or if it was her place to say anything; Faith had taken the wind out of her sails with her detached attitude and room full of new found friends. Buffy was the one who felt intimidated and that so hadn’t been the plan when she’d marched up the stairs.

“Can we talk outside?” Buffy asked as she glanced around, suddenly aware that open plan living didn’t leave much room for privacy as Tara looked over at them, appearing worried.

Faith didn’t answer right away, taking a slow breath as she gave Buffy a lingering look. There may have been a flicker of anxiety in Faith’s brown eyes but Buffy wasn’t sure. Maybe Faith was remembering the last time – not including the slayer dream they’d shared – that they were in the apartment together. Not much talking had happened that night.

Holding herself stiffly Faith answered, “We can talk here, B. What’s the drama?”

Sighing and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to ignore the increasing number of glances their way from the other people in the room, Buffy attempted to rein in her anger. Despite the fact she felt like kicking Faith’s ass – just because - her friends didn’t need to see them take a backwards slide.

“Why did you have me come all the way back here? What happened to the nest? What the hell were you thinking?” Buffy shot.

Faith stepped closer again, urging Buffy to move a little further away from the main living area.

“You were so slow in gettin’ here I dealt with it, Twinkie,” Faith explained calmly. “I thought I was gonna need help. . .guess I was wrong.”

“That’s it? You guess you were wrong?”

Faith shrugged and Buffy swore she could see the beginnings of a smug smile flit across Faith’s features, but it never fully materialized.

“You did it on purpose,” Buffy continued, then much quieter guessed, “You knew I’d be with Tru this weekend so you made something up to get me back here.”

Once again Faith’s face betrayed her apparent stoicism, the hint of guilt making her lips tighten and her brow twitch.

“You can think what you want, B,” Faith responded. “It’s kind of a habit of yours anyway. That and doing what the fuck you want to whoever you want.”

Buffy opened her mouth but nothing came out other than a small breath that could have been mistaken for a gasp. She looked over Faith’s shoulder to make sure nobody else had heard them, saying a silent thank you when it appeared that her friends were pretty much oblivious to the exchange.

She wanted to yell and tell Faith she wasn’t being fair and that it had been a shitty thing to do – getting her to run out on Tru and their weekend together – but she couldn’t. She couldn’t claim the moral high ground with Faith knowing that she was doing something even worse. Knowing that Faith probably had more right to be mad than she did, especially after the incident in the Magic Box.

Holding everything in, Buffy shook her head, desperate to put Faith down but unable to do it. They’d have to talk about it later, in a more private setting, and once Buffy had figured out a way to make it sound like she wasn’t the one who needed to apologize all the time.

“We’ll talk about this later, Faith,” Buffy said. “Alone.”

“Sure thing. Alone sounds good to me, B.”

Faith winked and the naughty little smile she gave Buffy made it quite clear what was going through her mind.

“Not that kind of alone,” Buffy said under her breath, brushing past Faith and catching Willow’s eye.

She ignored the disbelieving chuckle from Faith and made her way over to her friends, nodding to Willow to indicate that she needed to speak with her.

“Hey, Buffster,” Xander said as she approached. “Come to join in the fun?”

He waved his controller, or joystick or whatever it was at her, smiling broadly as if there was no tension in the room at all. She supposed he couldn’t feel the tension, or he was happy to remain oblivious, or perhaps he was just pretending it wasn’t there in the hopes it would just go away so they could all get along. Xander didn’t like any bad feeling amongst the group; his home life was bad enough.

“Um, sure,” Buffy replied with a nod as Faith strode past her and handed her a bottle.

She looked at the bright label adorning the bottle of beer, wrinkling her nose at it; she preferred the brand Tru kept in her apartment.

“I just need to talk to Willow a minute,” she continued.

Willow’s eyes went comically wide as she turned her head towards Buffy. No doubt she knew what was coming; questions on her little hiccup with Faith about Tru. She handed her controller to Tara, who handed it to Faith as if it were a ticking bomb she didn’t know what to do with.

“Looks like it’s me and you, Xan,” Faith said enthusiastically, jumping down onto some pillows in front of the TV that had no reason to be that big. “Get ready for a whuppin’.”

Buffy watched as two little men on the screen started hitting each other. Clearly none of them got enough violence in their day to day lives; they also felt the need to attack things even in their down-time. Shaking her head and wandering over to the kitchen area with Willow following, Buffy felt Faith’s eyes all over her despite the fact she was trying to convince Xander she was giving the game her full attention. It was kind of creepy, but also. . .somewhat of a turn on. But she couldn’t feel that. Had to stop feeling that.

As soon as they were nestled away in the corner of the kitchen, the sounds of the video game drowning them out somewhat, Willow gave Buffy her most apologetic expression; lips down-turned and little nose all wrinkled with worry.

“Buffy, I’m sorry,” she said before Buffy could say anything. “I know I messed up, but I didn’t mean to. I so didn’t mean to, Faith’s just. . .well, she’s all wile-y and intimidating and before I knew it I’d told her more than I’d meant to.”

Buffy waited for Willow to pause for a breath before commenting.

“I really could have done without it, Will,” Buffy said under her breath.

She knew she should have been shouting, or pointing, possibly both, but Buffy couldn’t escape the fact she’d dug her own hole and was now falling to the bottom of it at an exponentially ridiculous rate. She’d made her own bed and wasn’t just laying in it; she was rolling around naked in it. The fault was all her own.

“I’m sorry,” Willow repeated, grasping at her own hands and wringing them anxiously.

“Just promise me you won’t tell anybody else. Not until I’m ready.”

Buffy doubted she’d ever be ready, and thinking about how Tru was going to react to finding out about Faith gave her palpitations.

Willow nodded. “I promise.”

There really wasn’t anything more that Buffy could ask for. Too many people already knew about Tru but she had to trust that Willow wouldn’t blab to anybody else, and also trust that Faith would keep it to herself. Trusting Faith with that wasn’t going to be easy, but what choice did she have?

“This is such a mess,” Buffy muttered, then more clearly asked Willow, “How have you all accepted her back so easily?”

She glanced over at Faith, seeing how easily she seemed to fit in now; not like last time when all of Buffy’s friends made sure that Faith had felt firmly on the outside, causing Buffy to do the same.

“What’s different?” she added.

“I dunno for sure,” Willow answered. “We’re different. She’s different.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Willow insisted. “She’s definitely changed.”

Buffy kept her eyes on Faith, feeling a little sad that Faith hadn’t come back sooner, before she’d met Tru. Though in reality she doubted things would have gone any smoother.

“Well maybe she’s changed with you guys,” Buffy said. “Me? Not so much.”

“Maybe that’s because we’ve put the effort in,” Willow responded almost apologetically.

Buffy crossed her arms and pouted.

“That’s not fair.”

“But it’s true, Buffy,” Willow asserted. “You haven’t spent any time with her.”

“There’s a good reason for that,” Buffy said, not wishing to explain further.

Willow didn’t need to know that things were even more complicated than usual between her and Faith. It was too hard spending time with Faith when she felt unbelievably guilty, and when just a look from her made Buffy feel like shedding all her clothes so they could. . .Buffy closed her eyes and tried not to think about it.

A loud victory-cheer rang out and Xander got up and did his Snoopy dance. He’d obviously beaten Faith and felt proud about it. Buffy caught Faith’s eye and wondered if he’d only beaten her because Faith hadn’t been paying full attention; Buffy had been aware of Faith’s glances her way ever since moving in to the kitchen area. It didn’t really matter now, Faith knew her secrets.

She cut short her conversation with Willow, realising it was pointless being mad and pointless arguing about the effort she was putting in to Faith. Buffy didn’t need more things to think about, and she was beginning to miss Tru. She briefly thought about making her way back to LA for the rest of the weekend, but she’d spent what spare money she had on her last unused bus ticket and couldn’t afford another one until the following week.

“Why don’t you stay a while?” Willow suggested.

So she did.

Though Buffy felt strangely out of the loop and a little uncomfortable she tried to relax and just be with her friends. If she ignored the way being close to Faith made her feel she could deal with the situation. Of course that wasn’t as easy as she wished it to be, but being there was probably better than sitting at home brooding.

After a while they all got bored of their video game and decided to just talk, and though Buffy hadn’t exactly been overjoyed at having to cheer on her friends as they beat each other up via little pixelated men in garish outfits, it was preferable to trying to find things to chat about. She couldn’t talk about herself, other than in a slayer and slaying sense, and it was beginning to get awkward. Questions about Riley and any possible upcoming dates made her squirm and want to leave, but leaving would bring attention to the fact she was trying to avoid saying anything about her love life. She was stuck.

“Oh, before I forget, Buffy,” Xander began during a slight lull in the conversation, “who’s Tru?”

Buffy’s eyes nearly fell out of her head and she choked on the glass of coke she’d asked for in place of the beer Faith was happily swilling.

“Um, she. . .uh,” Buffy stuttered, brain cells bumping around in her head as she tried to find an answer.

“Is she a classmate? New friend?” Xander pressed, eyebrows quirking up and down in enthusiasm.

Willow looked like she was in pain for Buffy and Tara seemed genuinely sympathetic – having obviously heard about Tru through Willow. Buffy still couldn’t find her voice. If she said Tru was a classmate Xander would want details; he was always interested in meeting new girls, even though he was with Anya. And Buffy couldn’t tell him she had a new friend; they didn’t have new friends, it was always just them. . .and now Faith, but there was no explaining without making him suspicious and she definitely wasn’t ready for him to know the truth yet.

Opening and closing her mouth, staring at Xander as he began to look a little puzzled, Buffy wondered if making a run for the door would seem extreme. Normally Willow would help her in situations that left her tongue tied, but after spilling the beans to Faith she was probably being overly cautious.

“She’s some chick B saved outta the jaws of a vamp the other day,” Faith cut in when it appeared that Buffy was going to have to tell the truth or fake temporary amnesia. “Buff’s just been checkin’ on her, that’s all.”

“Trying to explain away the things that go bump?” Xander asked, looking like he completely believed Faith.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied weakly.

She glanced over at Faith, giving her a small smile of gratitude but wondering why she’d come to her rescue. Faith could have left her to squirm. She could have encouraged Xander and forced Buffy to relinquish her secret. She could have done a thousand things that would have made Buffy feel awful, but she hadn’t.

“So,” Xander continued, making Buffy’s heart beginning to panic-beat again, “is she single?”

“Ugh! Xander, you have a girlfriend,” Willow pointed out, whacking him on the arm as Tara chuckled.

As he tried to explain himself, Faith gave Buffy a nod and stood up, making her way towards the bathroom – the only place in the apartment not visible to all.

“Need to talk to you about something, B,” Faith said, entering the bathroom and obviously expecting Buffy to follow.

Buffy looked around at her friends, and as Xander opened his mouth to ask her more questions she stood hurriedly and made her way out of the room. She was glad to escape, but as Faith closed the door – leaving Buffy stuck alone with her in the small space of the bathroom - she wondered if she’d chosen the wrong option. Facing Xander’s questions might have been less difficult than facing Faith with no escape. Or at least, no escape that would make it look really obvious that she was indeed trying to escape.

“Thanks,” Buffy said despite her wariness. “I didn’t know what to say to him.”

“No big,” Faith responded, leaning back with her butt on the sink.

“It doesn’t make it ok, though,” Buffy added. “I’m still mad at you for spoiling my weekend.”

Faith shook her head as if she didn’t know what Buffy was even talking about, let alone cared.

“If you wanna pretend that you’d rather be there. . .whatever, B,” Faith said with a shrug. “You’re not foolin’ me, though.”

“I’m not trying to fool anybody – except Xander, and my mom and. . .that’s beside the point. The point is you won’t get away with doing that again.”

Faith slowly licked her lips, the tip of her tongue slipping over the deep cleft in her lower lip in a way that made Buffy scream for mercy on the inside. Her eyes devoured Buffy; scalding her wherever she lingered for more than a beat. Buffy had to get out, but she wasn’t moving.

“You had sex last night,” Faith said suddenly, making Buffy’s breath catch in her throat.

“What?” she spluttered.

She couldn’t seem to move as Faith pushed away from the sink and closed the small distance between them.

“Last night,” Faith continued. “You had sex with Tru didn’t ya.”

Buffy’s heart rate increased at an alarming rate; not just because of how eerily accurate the guess was, but also from how close Faith now was. There was nowhere to go for Buffy - her back was against the door.

“I didn’t. . .”

“I can smell it,” Faith interrupted, halting Buffy’s obvious lie.

A furious blush burst out over Buffy’s cheeks and she looked away from Faith, desperately trying to keep from turning into a bumbling idiot.

“You can. . .smell it?” she stuttered, embarrassed, her lungs beginning to suck the air in as if they were starved of oxygen.

Faith was awfully close, and doing that sexy, intimidating, in control thing that Buffy found both incredibly hot and completely frustrating.

“Yeah,” Faith answered huskily, a hand drifting up over Buffy’s hip as she leaned towards her. “Smells like you’re still wet for more, B. You want me to finish it off?”

Buffy blushed even redder and felt a wave of disgust mingled in with the obvious lust that Faith produced within her so easily. She had to back away out of this situation, and Faith had to know that being all crude and sexy was so not allowed anymore. Putting her hands up in order to stop Faith leaning in to her, resting them on Faith’s chest, Buffy regained the use of her lungs and looked hard into her eyes.

“This has to stop, Faith.”

“Stop? We haven’t even started yet, B,” Faith stated, her lips perilously close to Buffy’s.

If Buffy moved forward an inch or two they’d be kissing. She’d have Faith’s lips on her, tongue in her mouth, hands exploring. That incredibly sensual mouth would be all hers. . .until Faith decided she was done with Buffy and moved on to her next conquest, leaving Buffy a heart broken, yearning mess. She turned her head and pushed Faith away just enough to give her space to move back from the door.

“We won’t be starting anything, Faith,” Buffy said firmly. “We missed that boat.”

Without allowing herself to disappear in to Faith’s eyes once more, Buffy pulled open the bathroom door and left without another word. She bid a quick farewell to her friends, telling them she had studying to catch up on, and exited the apartment. Nobody questioned her, and though she could practically feel Faith’s eyes burning through the door behind her she didn’t follow.

Buffy sighed, her heart aching in a way that reminded her of too many fights with Faith in the past. This was too hard.

“Stupid Buffy,” she muttered to herself as she wearily descended the steps. “Stupid lesbian tendencies.”

 

 

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