Memory In Mind

Chapter Two

Laying, waiting in the cheap motel room under the flickering light of the television, shadows dancing around the room to whatever tune the screen was playing, Faith couldn’t help but think that Buffy had never looked so beautiful.

Maybe it was just looking at her through new eyes. Eyes that now knew Buffy felt something more for her. Wanted something more from their friendship. Whatever it was, Faith felt her heart being tugged from her chest. She was truly in trouble now.

Faith had began falling for Buffy almost from the second they had first met, she knew that. But at this precise moment she realised there was no turning back. Faith was in love with Buffy now, completely.

As she waited for what seemed like an eternity for Buffy to say something back to her, she realised there was no way she could be with her here, in her bed, and not act on her desire for her. It was no use pretending she was anything other than a take action now, think later kind of girl.

So she closed what distance there was between them, and tentatively brushed her full lips over Buffy's. Both girls closed their eyes, sighing slightly over each other’s lips. Faith didn’t want to rush this, she was taking a huge risk, and she wanted to remember every second of it.

Delicately they kissed, barely even touching, their slow movements mirroring each other. Faith’s hand moved up from Buffy’s waist to her cheek, cupping it gently in her palm as she delighted in these first soft caresses.

Buffy’s hand then made its way to Faith’s dark hair, burying itself in the softness of it and pushing her lips a little more forcefully into Faith’s. Faith gladly reacted to the kiss that was becoming more passionate, both girls becoming more enthusiastic now the initial strangeness of kissing another female was beginning to wear off.

The soft sounds of their lips against each other filled the air, mixed with quickening breaths and pounding heartbeats. Faith ran her tongue over Buffy’s lower lip, and she felt herself begin to get wet with desire as the smaller girl took it into her mouth, twirling it around her own tongue, the taste of her fellow slayer bursting into her mouth.

They were kissing greedily now, not wanting to break their contact. Not wanting to push back the need that they both were so obviously feeling. Faith for her part had been wanting this for far too long, and it was all she could do not to go all carnal and start ripping Buffy’s nightwear off.

But she knew, deep within her somewhere, that this wasn’t fair on Buffy. No matter how much Buffy seemed to want her now, there was no doubt in Faith’s mind that it was only circumstance bringing them together in this way.

Hesitating, not wanting to stop at all, Faith pulled away from Buffy’s exploring tongue and tantalising lips. She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves before opening her eyes to look at the girl currently in her arms.

“What’s wrong, Faith?”

Everything seemed wrong right then for Faith.

It felt wrong that she had kissed Buffy. It felt wrong that she had stopped. Her mind was racing with thoughts of how Buffy would be seriously kicking her ass right about now if she really knew what was happening here.

“Faith?” Buffy brought her hand down to rest gently on Faith’s cheek, brushing her thumb over the soft skin of her jaw, and up along the line of one of her dimples.

Faith leaned into the touch despite herself. Looking deep into Buffy’s eyes, and calling on all her willpower and respect for the other girl, she reached up, plucking Buffy’s hand from her cheek, kissing her fingertips lightly before placing it between them.

“I can’t do this, B. I can’t take advantage of you.” The world she knew so well came crashing down around her.

Faith, the bad ass slayer, couldn’t do what she knew she did best. Which was use people. She couldn’t do it to Buffy.

Buffy lifted her hand again to Faith’s cheek, leaning towards her and sliding her lips over Faith’s, but then stopping when she realised Faith was doing her level best not to respond.

“Faith. . .I want you. I do. I can feel it deep inside me. I don’t need my memory to know that,” Buffy assured. Her eyes were pleading with Faith to just give in to her, but the younger girl knew she couldn’t, not like this.

Shaking her head, Faith untangled herself from Buffy, putting a little distance between them. She hated doing it, mainly because Buffy seemed close to tears. The emotional turmoil of the day taking its toll.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. As much as I want to. And as much as you seem to as well. I know you’ll resent me for taking this further.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because I know you,” Faith concluded. It was true, much to Faith’s frustration; it was cold hard slapping her in the face.

Buffy seemed to accept defeat and turned onto her back, sighing. The walls were straining with the palpable tension in the room, but Faith knew she’d made the right choice. In the end it would be for the best, or at least that’s what the good fairy on her shoulder was telling her. The bad fairy. . .well, he had a few choice words for her, and none of them were pretty.

Faith kept her distance from the blonde girl beside her, but remained facing her. After turning the TV off with the remote, she could faintly make out the outline of her fellow slayer in the dim light. She wanted to reach out and touch her. Stroke her hair. Anything, just to let Buffy know she cared, and that she did want to be with her.

Her arms remained rigid however, as she stifled the new feelings of wanting to be tender with somebody. Feelings she had never once had with, or for, anybody but Buffy.

She closed her eyes, and lay still, listening to the soft breaths coming from Buffy. Buffy was already asleep, or near as damn it, and eventually Faith realised she just couldn’t resist the temptation, to do to something, anything that would keep her from feeling so lonely right then.

So she reached out under the covers, finding the older girl’s hand, and placing it in her own. She drifted off to sleep just as she felt Buffy entwine their fingers together even further, keeping them locked together.

* * *

As the sun began to stream in through the window, lighting up the dust particles in the air and causing them to look like some sort of ethereal fine snow, Faith sensed she was being watched. She slowly opened her eyes, straining against the change in light, and looked up to find that indeed Buffy had been watching her sleep. She couldn’t help but smile, flashing her dimples at the older girl.

She also noticed that their hands were still embracing, under the confines of the sheets. Much to her embarrassment at being overtly sappy.

“Morning, beautiful,” Buffy beamed, and taking Faith by surprise, leaned over and kissed her softly on the mouth. But she didn’t push it. It was just a slight touch of her lips to Faith's.

It just made the sleepy brunette’s smile even wider. Especially at being called beautiful. She knew fine well that she was an attractive girl, but Faith was far more used to being called sexy or hot, not beautiful. In fact, she never would have considered herself to be something that she thought Buffy was herself. She shook her head.

“What?” Buffy’s bright eyes were gazing at her, almost dreamily.

“Nothing. This is just a little surreal, ya know?” Faith was feeling like she had fallen into one of the fantasies she’d frequently had about being with Buffy.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember what’s normal, remember?” Buffy pointed out.

Faith couldn’t help but laugh at the cute little bewildered look on her friend’s face.

“I’m sorry, B. . .but you’re just too damn cute.” Before she could stop herself, caught up in the tendrils of her fantasy, Faith closed the distance between them and kissed Buffy full on the lips, taking the succulent lower lip lightly between her teeth, and sucking gently, before crashing back down to reality. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to. . .” Faith sat up and away from the object of her confusion. Finally releasing Buffy’s hand from her own.

“I know, but it was nice,” Buffy said as she smiled, but didn’t push matters further, instead deciding to get out of bed and make her way to the bathroom, Faith’s dark eyes following her every move.

“Fuck,” Faith mumbled as she put her head in her hands, as Buffy closed the bathroom door behind her.

Faith didn’t know why this was happening to her, but then realised she could only put it down to the way she had been leading her life over the past year or two. Her lack of morals coming back to firmly bite her in the ass it seemed.

“Trust me to remember where I put my morality at a time like this,” Faith groaned to herself.

Buffy re-entered the bedroom from the bathroom, looking puzzled at the dark slayer.

“Did you say something?” Buffy questioned.

Faith stood up abruptly, then sat down just as quickly as she realised Buffy was only clad in one of the motel’s extremely small towels.

“No, I didn’t say anything,” Faith lied. “Do you have to walk around like that?” She was trying her best not to follow Buffy around with her penetrating eyes, as she floated about the room in her towel, sorting herself something to wear.

“Like what?” Buffy asked.

Faith took a deep breath as Buffy bent down towards her bag, allowing the bottom of the towel to slide even further up her slender thighs, to the firm little backside almost on show. Faith knew if she were to bend her head down slightly she would be getting an eyeful of Buffy-ass right about now. She closed her eyes, and willed Buffy to disappear back into the bathroom.

She only opened them when she heard the door click. Hastily, Faith grabbed her cigarette packet from the bedside table and made her way over to the door leading outside. She opened it wide letting the light and fresh morning air stream in. Lighting up, she took a long drag on the habit she wanted to break. At times like this though, she was glad she smoked.

Stretching out her muscles, Faith lent against the doorframe and turned her face up to the sun, enjoying the morning rays. Dressed only in some tight black shorts and a sleeveless tee shirt, she allowed the summer warmth to soak into her already lightly tanned skin.

She finished her smoke and turned to make her way back into the room. She jumped a little when she realised Buffy was standing by the bed, just watching her. Faith stood with the sunshine behind her, looking like some kind of perfect oil painting, wondering just how long Buffy had been standing there.

“You really are beautiful, Faith,” Buffy practically whispered, her voice dreamlike in the harshness of the stark room.

The younger girl could feel herself blushing. It must have been for the first time in years. Certainly for as long as she could recall. Buffy had a way of making her feel so different to her normal ‘bad girl’ self sometimes. It was as if she could step out of the entanglements of all her defences and nasty habits.

She slowly, seductively, made her way over to Buffy and stood in front of her. “Buffy, you’re the beautiful one.” Faith couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch the girl before her.

She touched Buffy’s face delicately with her fingertips, surprising herself at how gentle she was being. So unlike her usual self. For a moment it crossed her mind that maybe she had been affected by the whole amnesia thing too. Making her forget that she was just about hot and nasty fucking. Not about this. . .soft caresses, and sensuous kisses.

She suddenly found herself pressed up against Buffy, scorching the older girl with the intensity of the kiss she was currently giving her. Buffy groaned as their tongues began to duel, their body heat almost boiling the blood in each other’s veins. Faith couldn’t have held herself back right now if she’d tried.

She melted into the smaller girl as Buffy abruptly pulled them even closer together, strong hands grabbing Faith’s compact backside, slamming their hips into each other.

“You sure know how to let a girl know what you want,” Faith chuckled, looking down into the lust filled eyes in front of her, battling with herself, trying again to decide if she should. . .or if she should stop.

Faith really didn’t know what to do.

She knew what her body was telling her. She knew what Buffy, well. . .memory-loss-Buffy wanted. It was all too clear in her eyes, and in the way she was now trailing delightful kisses up and down her neck.

“B, stop,” Faith sighed, but Buffy didn’t, and Faith bared more of her neck to her, even though she really did want her to stop. “You’re getting me. . .fuck, Buffy, you’re getting me wet for you.” That really wasn’t causing Buffy to stop what she was doing.

“Faith, can we. . .I want. . .” Both girls were getting immersed in how close they were, pushing their hips into each other, breathing heavily. Needing to feel, wanting it.

“Buffy, wait.” Faith stopped and held her fellow slayer at arms length, but Buffy definitely had other ideas.

Buffy was wrapped up in her own desire, obviously the months of ignoring it tumbling over into something she could no longer resist. Not knowing her strength, the blonde girl crushed her lips to Faith's, and pulled her towards her, down onto the bed. Practically throwing Faith onto it.

Faith was totally taken by surprise, not expecting Buffy to be so rough, so animalistic even. In other circumstances she would be going crazy for it, loving it, but Faith had to regain control. For both their sakes.

She wasn’t having much luck, though. Buffy was on top of her, kissing her hungrily, climbing between Faith’s thighs. Faith instinctively spread her legs to allow Buffy to settle there, wanting nothing more than the girl she was in love with against her pussy. Their hot centres rubbing up against each other.

“Oh God, B.” She’d had no idea the usually coy girl was like this when it came to sex. It was severely testing her resolve.

“Faith, I want to fuck you so much,” Buffy said breathlessly.

Faith closed her eyes and dug deep inside herself, to find a way to restrain this overwhelming need. “Buffy,” Faith said, trying to break the spell.

Buffy continued attacking her neck, gripping Faith’s wrists in her hands. Hands that she had no idea held the strength they did.

“B, stop. . .you’re hurting me.”

Instantly Buffy stilled all action, looking down at Faith, her eyes wide at just how far she had pushed.

“Oh God, Faith, I’m so sorry. I just. . .” Buffy leapt off Faith, standing before her in shock at her own conduct, and presumably at her own strength.

Glancing down at her own hands then back to Faith, Buffy let out a sob. With tears beginning to tumble down her face, she ran out the door into the quiet of the warm summer morning. Leaving a stunned Faith behind on the crumpled bed.



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