The Diary

Chapter Five

Oz and Faith arrived back at the school just as the others were heading to their seats in the canteen. They made their way over to join them, grateful for the lack of school security. Faith would never get over how easy it was to wander in and out. She thought she could probably risk taking a class or two without anybody noticing, but then realized, going back to taking classes in any shape or form just wasn’t for her. Not even to test the teacher’s powers of observation.

As they walked closer to the table the small group consisting of Buffy, Willow, Xander, and a disgruntled looking Cordelia, were now sat at, Faith couldn’t help but notice that the petite blonde she liked so much couldn’t take her eyes off her.

If it was something that Buffy had done before, as Cordelia had suggested, then Faith was pissed that she had missed it in the past. The way the other Slayer was looking at her now was sending thrills up and down her spine, entwining with the tingles of the Slayer variety she got from Buffy.

“Hey guys, come and join the party. We have jello, and some other food like substances that I really wouldn’t recommend you eating if you’re not accustomed to spending your evenings stuck in the toilet,” Xander said, and grinned in his usual quirky way, pulling up two chairs for the new arrivals.

“Hey,” Both Oz and Faith replied flatly, earning them expectant looks.

“My God, Oz, you’ve tamed the wild beast. And I don’t mean your werewolf deal. I mean Faith,” Cordelia snorted at her own attempt at a joke. Only Xander half-heartedly laughed with her.

Neither Faith nor Oz reacted. The part time werewolf sat down next to Willow, and Faith took her place between Buffy and Xander, doing her best not to look too much at Buffy just yet for fear of blurting out her eagerness to know if she’d read the little something she had left in her diary.

The others started their usual babble of chit chat, with the exception of Cordelia who was too busy snatching glances the Slayers way, almost completely ignoring Xander’s foray into the conversational equivalent of what would indeed happen if too much of the canteen food were eaten.

Tensions were high between Buffy and Faith. Faith could feel her hairs standing up all along her right side, closest to Buffy. They hadn’t spoken to one another yet, too busy pretending to listen to what was going on around them. Faith wanted to turn and grab Buffy, and pull her into a kiss she’d never forget, but she doubted very much the gesture would be appreciated, no matter how hot for her Buffy was.

“So, Faith. . .I hear you picked up some poor boy after the Homecoming dance. Is that true?” Cordelia asked, stirring in her usual manner, looking for reactions and getting one instantly as Buffy choked on her drink.

Faith reached out and patted Buffy on the back, which only seemed to cause her more distress. “No, it isn’t fucking true, and you know it,” Faith stated.

Buffy’s eyes went wider beside her as she continued to battle against the juice she had inhaled.

Faith got right away that Buffy probably now thought one of two things. That she had either gone home with a guy, or from what she had just implied. . .had been with Cordelia. Before she could rescind her foot in mouth blunder however, the cheerleader scoffed, pointing her nose in the air.

“You wish, gypsy girl.” The words had no sooner left Cordelia’s mouth than Buffy had stood abruptly from her seat, scraping it across the floor.

“Hey. . .take that back, and quit calling Faith things like that,” Buffy exclaimed.

The small group all looked up at Buffy’s little outburst, every one of them fairly surprised that she had acted in such an overt manner.

Faith was more surprised than the lot of them put together. Buffy had never stood up for her in quite that way before. Sure, they tried to look out for each other when they were out slaying, but Cordelia’s nasty remarks were something else. Something most of them just let go without thinking too much about.

“Thanks, B, but it’s ok. She just wishes she had what it takes to be more than just another annoying cheerleader to me,” Faith grinned and placed her hand on Buffy’s arm, coaxing her back into her seat. The touch lingered, but thankfully, it wasn’t even noticed by Cordelia.

Buffy did seem to notice though, and caught Faith’s dark eyes with her own as she smiled coyly before looking away to appear like she was listening to the new turn in conversation. Faith noticed that Buffy wasn’t exactly paying attention to anything other than her, however. It was encouraging, but still Faith had no idea if Buffy had read what she had written, and if she had. . .what could possibly happen next.

There was little in the way of anything interesting being said at the table that Faith wanted to listen to, and on any other occasion she would have left sooner. But on this occasion, she was too busy enjoying the feeling of being sat next to Buffy, knowing that Buffy was, in all probability, thinking things about her that would even make her blush.

The two girls nodded here and there with the conversation. Buffy picking at her lunch as she shuffled about in her chair. Faith shuffling around just as much as she felt more than tingles coming from Buffy. Nervous laughter was the order of the day for Buffy it seemed, and Faith became almost as quiet as Oz as she did her best not to blurt out anything inappropriate. Faith felt so much more uncomfortable than she thought she should have, given her normal confidence and poise.

Every time they caught each other’s eye, the room faded away for Faith. Like they were the only two there. Like it wouldn’t matter if she were to reach out and run her fingers across the delicate collarbone on display, up into the silky hair that whispered around Buffy’s slender neck. Faith was lost to images of kissing her way down that very neck, tasting the beat of the other girl’s pulse. She couldn’t take her eyes from the spot. Her mind running rampant with what she knew Buffy wanted.

“Faith,” Buffy was trying to catch her attention. “Faith?”

Faith snapped out of it, realizing she had been staring at the blonde Slayer for more than an appropriate amount of time. The others had stood and were joking with each other as they slowly made their way out of the canteen. Buffy also began to rise, keeping her eyes locked on Faith.

“I have to go to class.” Buffy sounded almost apologetic.

“Right.” Faith stood, ready to leave without knowing if Buffy had taken the time to read her input to the journal.

But then Buffy slid the small book across the table towards her, looking over to make sure none of the gang had spotted her. She leaned close to Faith, just a kiss away, resting a gentle hand on Faith’s waist. “Read the next part,” she whispered.

That’s all Buffy said as she pulled away and hurried to catch up with her friends, the majority of them turning to wave Faith goodbye as she emerged from the daze the older girl had just put her in. She picked up the diary, watching Buffy leave the canteen, her cute little ass mesmerizing Faith, until Buffy turned slightly just before disappearing out of view.

Faith hadn’t moved from the spot, the few remaining students ignored as they began to filter past her. She kept her eyes on Buffy as she smiled sweetly at her then licked her lips enticingly, as if teasing Faith before eventually turning to leave.

Faith sighed quietly, not knowing how long she could keep from just pouncing on Buffy without warning. Surely, it wouldn’t be an unacceptable action, Faith thought, not when Buffy was all kinds of horny for her. Even masturbating to thoughts of her.

She grinned at the idea and slipped the diary into her back pocket once again, resisting the urge to sit amongst the remnants of the inedible lunches and read the next part just like Buffy had asked her to.

Faith rushed out of the school, wanting to find out exactly what was coming next in Buffy’s little story. Her motel was too far away, but the coffee shop was closer and she had enough change in her pocket to afford herself something to drink. She sat in the corner, as far away from prying eyes as she could get, readying herself for what was on the pages scrawled in Buffy’s small print.

Faith took a second just to look at the words without reading what they said, imagining Buffy writing them having just finished discovering what Faith wanted from their relationship. She found Buffy’s writing to be just as small and cute as the girl herself, it made her smile, then frown at how soppy she had just sounded to herself.

“Jesus. . .I gotta stop that,” Faith said to herself, paying no attention to the woman sat close by who looked down her nose at her.

Faith raised a challenging eyebrow, then flicked her eyes back to the top of the page and began to read.

Ok. . .I guess this is kind of a cop out. I should really talk to you. But, I’m still completely floored by what you wrote. Not only did you manage to have me sat in class getting incredibly turned on (naughty you), but you shocked me by not turning this into a joke. At least I hope this isn’t a joke. See, I’m still afraid that I’m gonna end up looking like a fool here. I just never quite know where you’re coming from sometimes, but I guess maybe with what you wrote, and the fact it really wasn’t funny, I feel a little reassured. Anyway, I have to bite the bullet, or whatever, because now. . .I want you more than ever.

What you described doing to me in the graveyard? I could picture you doing it, Faith. Us doing it. I want that. I want you to take me, and I want to do things to you that I’ve never even thought about before. I’d like nothing more than to spread myself all over you, to fuck you in any way you wanted. To eat your pussy ‘till your come is running into my mouth, Faith. Jesus, listen to me, I can’t even feel embarrassed about this now because it’s all I can think about. Of course, it doesn’t help that you just got me all hot and wet without even touching me. But then, that’s nothing new. Just looking at you gets me that way.

You’re gonna get a big head with all this. . .but, Faith, you blow me away with how funny, how charming, deep, fascinating and gorgeous you are. Every time you look my way, every time you smile at me, I get butterflies. I’m still a little freaked out by the whole fact you’re a girl and I’m a girl, and we’d be two girls getting hot and sweaty and wet together and. . .(naughty thoughts). Ok, so I’m worrying less about it and just dreaming about what your lips feel like. What you would feel like with your skin pressed against mine. I don’t doubt that you’d continue to blow me away. Everything about you does, and I don‘t only mean in a sexual way. This isn‘t just about sex for me. . .I hope you know that.

Faith raised her eyes from the book, catching herself grinning almost goofily with how Buffy was making her feel inside. Like more than just a hot chick worth a fuck. More than what most people saw when they looked at her.

She had the feeling Buffy saw deeper than most, and knew there was more to her than the crudeness, the abruptness and the tough image. She didn’t like admitting to herself that she was more sensitive than she portrayed to others, but Faith was beginning to think that maybe allowing Buffy to see a little bit of that part of her wasn’t such a bad thing.

I know. . .I’m getting too gushy. But I have the feeling that maybe you’re seeing things like I am, things between us being more than just a possible fuck. I hope so, but if you’re not. . .then right now, I’d settle for just about anything, even though I’m really not that kind of girl. I need to have you. I wanna touch you so much. I’ve been longing to do that. Just touch you. All over, with my hands and my body. With my lips, tasting your skin, tasting you. God, that sounds so bad, I mean. . .you’re only sixteen. I shouldn’t be thinking this way. I’m not that much older, and you shouldn’t be encouraging me. . .bad Faith. Bad, bad, but really sexy Faith (grinning now). I’m totally out of my depth here, but I can’t help feeling how I do about you. I don’t think I could stop wanting you now if I tried, and it’s still kinda weird for me.

This is all pretty new to me, wanting someone this much. I guess with Angel I never really thought about it until we were, well, doing it. But even then it doesn’t compare to just the dreams I’ve been having about you.

Last night was a good one. One that I‘ve had before. We were sparring. We were hot and sweaty. Then we were in the gym showers where I pushed you into the wall, my hands on yours against it, pressing up against your back, rubbing against you with the water rushing down over us. I spread my pussy over your tiny backside as you leaned forward. God, I love your ass, Faith. I walked us backwards a little so you could bend over for me, your hands still on the wall, spreading your legs for me as I kissed down your back, loving the way your muscles jumped for me at every touch.

I kneeled down behind you, just looking at your pussy from behind. I could see how wet you were. Your pussy hole right there waiting for me, dripping with your juice. You looked and smelled delicious and I didn’t care who the hell might walk in on us. Didn’t care how wrong it was. Don’t care that I sound like I should be in a porn movie right now. That’s just what you do to me. Anyway, I leaned forward, pushing my face into your little pussy, breathing you in. Then I snuck my tongue out, dipping it straight into you, feeling your wet hole take me inside. God, you tasted amazing. And you were so warm and soft. I wanna know what that feels like. To do that to you and find out just how soft you are and how great you taste.

I pushed into you, hearing your moans above the spray of the shower, lapping at you, wiggling my tongue inside you. You started rubbing your fingers over one of your beautiful breasts, fingering the nipple, and I moved my tongue down to flick it over your clit. It was so hard and swollen and covered in your sweet arousal. I started rubbing over it with my tongue, your body reacting to me and making me hungrier for you. I always feel like I’m hungry for you, Faith. I felt you coming when I pushed back inside you. Your thick juices running out of you into my mouth, causing me to slip deeper into you as far as I could get my tongue. I wanna be inside you so much, Faith. It’s driving me crazy. You, your body, the thought of being with you in that way. Deep inside your wet pussy with my tongue.

“Fuck. . .” Faith ran a hand through her hair, her body reacting as if Buffy was actually doing exactly what she was describing.

I handful of other patrons looked Faith’s way at her crude outburst, and a large, unpleasant looking waitress came over, appearing like she’d been sent by the boss to do his dirty work.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We can’t have language like that here when there are children about,” the waitress stated, trying to do her best to intimidate Faith with her large frame.

“I don’t see no kids.” Faith looked around, really not wanting to get up and leave without finishing her coffee, or more importantly, the rest of what Buffy had written.

“That’s beside the point, some might come in and you’re. . .well, you’re just not the type of clientele we want in our establishment.” The waitress was getting snooty now, looking down at Faith with distaste. “If you’re going to sit around swearing for no reason, then I suggest you do it elsewhere. Somewhere better suited to a person like you,” she scoffed.

“Like me? What the fuck is that meant to mean?” Faith stood up, her shorter height doing nothing to diminish the confidence she exuded. She didn’t really feel like getting into a fight that could land her ass in jail, however. Buffy certainly wouldn’t have been overjoyed if that were to happen, so Faith uncharacteristically backed down. “Ya know what? Never mind. . .but let me just point out that I didn’t swear for no reason. I was swearing because a cute blonde chick just told me exactly how far up my cunt she wants to stick her tongue. Maybe if you got out of your dog cage once in a while to try something like that out, you might not be so fucking uptight.” With that said, Faith picked up the diary and strode out of the coffee shop, pleased with herself at the shocked expressions of the other customers.

She walked far enough away for the waitress not to bother calling the cops on her or anything, found a bench, and sat down. She had to finish reading. She had to find out if Buffy wanted things to really happen between them, beyond the words and pages of her diary.

So I guess now we have to actually talk about this, right? If we both want this. Want to be together in that way. I know that’s what I want, Faith, and you can probably get that with all the talk of wanting you. Ok, just to make sure you get it. . .I can’t resist you any longer, and I wanna be with you.

Meet me for patrol, usual place, usual time. See you then, gorgeous.

Faith closed the little book, grinning as the sun shone down on her like she had just had a divine revelation. In a way, she had. Buffy had told her finally that she wanted more between them. Faith just hoped the cute blonde wouldn’t back down once they were actually face to face.

* * *

Buffy rushed home after school, resisting the urge to drop by Faith’s motel room and forget about her homework, chores, and patrol. She was burning inside for her fellow Slayer, and the only thing that she could think about, was moving their friendship into something more. Something she was pretty definite about now that they both wanted.

She rushed through her homework and helped her mom clean up after dinner, ignoring her questions as to why she seemed so highly strung. Buffy couldn’t very well turn around and say that she felt that way because she had an itch, a very big, burning, out of control kind of itch, that only Faith could scratch.

Buffy doubted her mother would be anywhere near to approving. Things had been bad enough when she’d found out about Angel. Amongst all the confusion, fear, and complete annoyance at being left out of Buffy’s life, Joyce had also been pretty angry at Buffy leaping into bed with a guy so much older than her he should have been dead hundreds years earlier.

No, Buffy most definitely couldn’t tell her mom about her feelings for Faith. Or the fact that she had sexual feelings as powerful as she was having about another girl. She didn’t want to destabilize the tentative mother-daughter relationship they were building back up again after her little ‘time out' in LA.

“I’m gonna go get ready for patrol, mom,” Buffy called, as she was about to ascend the stairs.

“Already, dear? You don’t usually go until later.” Her mother looked up from the soap opera she was staring blankly at on the TV.

“Yeah, well. . .I err, I’m going out to the bronze for a little while afterwards. I won’t be late though.” Buffy smiled, hoping to get away with the mention that she was going out on a school night.

Willow had talked her into it. Pleading that she accompany her, Oz and Xander to the club. For some reason, Buffy felt like there was some kind of tension between those three, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She hadn’t planned on going anywhere after patrol, hoping to get things out in the open with Faith. But now she was obligated, and had to show. She just hoped that Faith wouldn’t mind tagging along.

“Ok, Buffy, but I’ll expect you back at a reasonable time. I know you’re nearly eighteen, but I’m still your mother,” Joyce stated, as Buffy bounded up the stairs.

“Ok, mom.” Buffy shook her head. Her mother couldn’t make up her mind between wanting to be all ‘I’m your friend too’ mom, and ‘I’m in charge’ mom.

Buffy wasn’t really bothered though. She had other things to think about, like what she was going to wear for her meeting with Faith. She wanted to look a little more. . .grown up maybe. So she didn’t feel quite so intimidated by Faith’s confidence, and more than advertised wealth of experience when it came to all things pertaining to sex.

She threw most of her clothes out of her closet, not missing the whole ‘closet’ concept. She frowned, then smiled, still unsure how to deal with her changing feelings. Her feelings of desire for somebody of the same sex.

Recalling again what Faith had wrote about them getting frisky in the graveyard, Buffy decided not to think too much, and just start acting more like a girl whose life was not destined to be all that long. She knew she shouldn’t worry about things too much. The need was just too strong to deny anyway.

Having finally decided what she was going to wear, Buffy ran a nice hot bubble bath and climbed in. She sighed as her body melted under the warm caress of the water. The soothing smell of Lavender floating up with the steam, easing her tension but doing nothing to stop how she burned inside now for Faith.

Running the sponge over her skin, Buffy could almost imagine the delectable brunette sitting in the bath with her, soaping her up, sliding against her skin in the steamy atmosphere of the bathroom. She brought the sponge up to her breasts and rubbed over them, cascading water down her flat stomach, fantasizing that Faith was leaning over her between her legs, sucking on her neck as her fit young body molded into hers.

She could almost smell the familiar scent of the other Slayer. She could picture the strong and stunning body with water running in trickles down it over Faith’s breasts, down over her toned belly. Buffy closed her eyes and immersed herself in the visualization she had in her head of Faith. The image of Faith crawling between her thighs in the confines of the bath.

She moved her other hand down into the warmth of the water, aiming for her aching sex. Needing to relieve herself just a little of the overpowering urge inside. She stroked her fingers down to the waiting slickness between her legs, sliding two between her folds, wanting it to be Faith’s fingers, Faith’s body heating her skin and. . .

“Buffy!” her mom shouted from downstairs, causing Buffy to be jerked from her fantasy. “Willow’s on the phone.”

Buffy slowed her breathing, having got herself a little worked up, and groaned moving her hands back out of the water, shaking her head to clear it of the image of a wet and naked Faith between her legs. The haze cleared, leaving her irritated at the interruption.

“I’ll be right down,” Buffy answered, stepping from the tub and wrapping a towel around herself.

Buffy made her way downstairs, trying to ignore the slick, moist feeling still between her legs. She picked up the phone.

“Hey, Will. Everything ok?” she asked.

“Yeah. . .everything’s ok,” Willow replied, not sounding too sure. “I err, I was just wondering if you minded if I came on patrol with you and Faith though, ya know, something to do, then go to the bronze with Xander, and. . .Oz, of course. Because, me and Oz. . .with the togetherness and all.”

Willow didn’t sound quite with it.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You sound kinda. . .more muddley than usual.” Buffy was groaning inside, knowing she could never come up with a sufficient excuse to put Willow off joining her and Faith on their patrol, and by the sounds of it, Willow needed to tell her something.

“Yep, I’m fine,” Willow said, obviously trying to convince Buffy. “So. . .do you mind me tagging along?”

There was a pause before Buffy realized she should answer in the positive, rather than tell Willow she had been kinda hoping to at least get more familiar with Faith’s lips on patrol that night.

“Sure. I’ll stop by yours first, then we’ll. . .go meet Faith.” Buffy sounded less than enthusiastic, but thankfully the red head didn’t pick up on it.

“I’ll see you soon then, bye,” Willow said and hung up.

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed, then trudged back upstairs to finish her bath.

She didn’t get back to her fantasy, and got dressed in her chosen outfit a little less enthusiastically than when she had chosen it. Some things were just never meant to be easy, she mused.

Buffy headed out to pick Willow up, on her way to hook up with the beguiling brunette she couldn’t get out of her mind. She was still looking forward to meeting Faith of course, but having an over excitable Willow tagging along was not going to make for a productive evening.

She hoped she could get through it without giving away her desire for Faith. The last thing Buffy wanted right now was the rest of the gang interfering, until she had chance to work things out with Faith. Or to put it another way. . .get a whole lot closer to Faith.



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