The Diary

Chapter Three

As the blackness of sleep enveloped her, Buffy felt a faint tingle dance down her spine. But it wasn’t the tingle telling her there was a vampire or a demon about. It was more like the sensation she felt around the other Slayer. But she knew Faith wasn’t near by, so she passed it off as nothing more than her desire for the dark girl.

She was asleep and dreaming in no time.

With a soft smile playing on her lips Buffy woke the following morning, feeling refreshed, until she felt the warning of impending doom wash over her recalling how today could be one big disaster if Faith decided to have some fun at her expense. There was a lot of damage Faith could do. Not only to Buffy’s reputation.

She had to attempt to believe that her fellow Slayer wouldn’t do anything rash, or hurtful. Even though Faith was less than insightful and caring, Buffy could at times see the better side to her. She knew there was more to Faith than met the eye. Buffy just hoped that, with her hands on her extremely private diary, Faith would show that depth to her character, and prove to Buffy that she was not all bad.

The worried Slayer threw back the covers to her bed and set to work getting ready for school, stopping any doom-laden thoughts before they had a chance to take hold. She showered and dressed and met her mother downstairs for a quick breakfast.

Joyce didn’t ask why Buffy looked so glum, and poured extra syrup on her pancakes instead. They made small talk, and then Buffy snatched her bag from the floor and jumped into her mom’s jeep, as she was giving Buffy a lift.

As they approached the school Buffy sighed, checking herself in the mirror to make sure she didn’t look quite as nervous as she felt. Faith could be there right now, waiting for her. The gang could be there, waiting for her, having heard all about her perversion from Faith. Nobody could be there, having run off for fear of Buffy pouncing on them and having her wicked Slayer-way.

Buffy’s mind was a muddle of possibilities.

“Are you ok, dear? You seem a little distant today,” Joyce said, as they pulled up for Buffy to get out.

“I’m ok, just. . .thinking about tests, and. . .exams, and things,” she stumbled, trying to hide her anxiousness.

“Now I am worried, Buffy. You don’t usually stop smiling and chattering for tests.” Joyce frowned a little as she pointed out that Buffy had never been known to be anxious about her schoolwork.

“Really, I’m fine. So, no need to worry, see? Smiling.” Buffy pointed to her face as she smiled ineffectively.

“Ok, but remember, I’m not just your mother, I’m your friend.” She waited patiently for Buffy to slowly make her way out of the car.

Buffy hated it when her mother pulled the ‘I’m your friend’ thing. She didn’t want to think of her mother as a friend. She had friends, and didn’t think of them as her mother. She wrinkled her brow, recalling she had better, or worse things to worry about other than her mother trying to be all new-age.

“I’ll see you later, mom.” She closed the door to the jeep and turned to face the school. “Well, here goes noth. . .”

“Hey, Buffster.”

A goofy hand slapped Buffy on the back. A goofy, Xander shaped hand.

“Hey, you,” Buffy replied, and smiled at her friend.

“Here nice and early, huh? To get some Slayer business done with Faith.” He grinned at his own mention of the brunette’s name.

“With Faith? Have you seen her? I mean, what do you mean?” Buffy looked around a little panicked, thinking Faith might have already told her friends about her erotic fantasies.

“Whoa. . .have you been eating orange things again, Buff? I meant your daily patrolling reports for Giles. Gee, and people think I’m strange.” He looked down at Buffy, conveying his opinion with his eyebrows.

“Right. . .I knew that.” She tried to laugh but only managed to sound like she was about to have her teeth pulled.

Thankfully, Xander didn’t notice as they passed a group of girls on their way into school.

They made their way into the library without passing any large notices exclaiming that Buffy was a raving lesbian who had a thing for sixteen year old girls. She sighed inwardly and did her best to relax in the familiar surroundings of the stuffy room.

Giles bustled out of his office backwards, almost knocking into Buffy as she made her way to sit down. He had an armful of books and his glasses were two seconds away from falling from his nose to the ground.

“You ok there, Giles? You seem a little. . .handsfully.” Buffy took some books from his pile and placed them on the counter.

“Ah, thank you, Buffy. I was just trying to get these in their rightful place before you all turned up. Where’s Willow?” he asked, not bothering to mention Faith as she was always the last to show.

“I’m sure she’ll be along. . .right. . .now.” Buffy pointed to the door as it swung open and Willow blustered through.

“Hey, that was a cool trick, Buff. How’d you know?” Xander questioned from his seat at the table.

“Slayer hearing. It comes in handy for locating mumbling witches. . .who have their cardigans buttoned up wrong.” Buffy looked down at the disarray of Willows buttons. “Will, did you get dressed in the dark?” Buffy chuckled at her friend.

“Oh, I didn’t realize. That’s why people were staring, huh? I thought I must have had toothpaste on my chin again,” Willow muttered and amended her button disaster, making her way with Buffy to sit down.

Buffy was feeling a little less stressed amongst her good friends. They always managed to calm her down, unless they were in a fight and she was busy worrying about them. But that happened less these days, as they had become better at protecting themselves. And of course, now there was Faith to help out too.

As Buffy thought about Faith helping out the girl herself strolled through the door, a lot earlier than was normal, but just as blissfully unaware of how everybody in the room took note of her arrival. Buffy more than noted it this morning; she practically froze with anticipation, and more than a hint of embarrassment.

“Good morning, Faith. It’s unusual for you to be here this early,” Giles said, whilst arranging his books into piles.

“Yeah well, I didn’t sleep too well. I had something on my mind.” She looked directly at Buffy as she explained.

“Well, now that we’re all here, how about telling me about last night’s patrol.” Giles took his pen from his pocket and stood by the table they were all now sat at, holding his notepad eagerly.

“Um, we. . .err.” Buffy did her best to come up with something that didn’t entail telling the truth, or anything near it.

She hadn’t really bothered patrolling after the incident with Faith. She had been far too busy chewing her nails and stressing.

“We dusted two vamps. . .nothing special. They were just out looking for a bite and we stopped em,” Faith reported, slumped down in her chair opposite Buffy, saving Buffy from even attempting to come up with something.

“So they didn’t appear to be from any sect or anything?” Giles asked, sounding almost disappointed.

“Nah, just regular vamps getting regularly slayed by us,” Faith drawled, and then winked at Buffy who did her best not to notice the way the other girl was sitting.

Faith had her feet up on the table, one leg bent more than the other. She was practically displaying herself for Buffy. Or at least, that’s the way it would have been if Faith had on a skirt. Or nothing at all.

“Buffy? I asked if you had anything to add.” Giles removed his glasses; raising his voice a little to get Buffy’s attention.

“Huh? Oh. . .no, nothing to add. Vamps came, we slayed. Just like Faith said.” Faith’s name rolled off Buffy’s tongue a little slow, causing Faith to raise an eyebrow and grin a little.

“Good, then there are no impending apocalypses or threats of world domination.” Giles appeared lost in his thoughts. “You may as well kill a little time before going to class then. I’ll just rearrange some books.” He shuffled back into his office looking more than a tad forlorn.

“I swear, that guy would like nothing more than us to burst in here every morning telling him the world’s about to end. I bet he creams himself at the thought,” Faith crudely remarked, gaining a hearty snigger from Xander, a quiet chuckle from Willow, and nothing from Buffy as she was too busy worrying about Faith filling their time before class with tales of how Buffy’s diary had entertained her.

“So, Will. . .how’s things with Oz?” Buffy asked, hoping to halt any mention of the mortifying loss of her journal and its contents.

The red head looked a little surprised by the question. “Oz? Um, fine. . .why?” She sounded a little surprised too, like there was something going on there.

“I was just wondering, ya know, how friends do about things like their, err, friend’s lives. . .and all.” Buffy’s point had been lost somewhere along the way, as Faith had stood to stretch her legs.

Buffy watched as Faith sauntered over to the counter, running her finger along its length like she was about to show it a good time. That’s when Buffy noticed the protrusion from Faith’s back pocket. It was her little black diary, sticking mockingly out of the tight leather pants the brunette had squeezed into that morning.

Buffy froze, ignoring whatever it was that Willow had just said about her and Oz. Her eyes were fixed on Faith’s backside, and not for the usual reason.

* * *

“So. . .what are we gonna do to kill time? I didn’t drag myself outta bed for nothing,” Faith asked as she turned to face the others, catching Buffy in the act of eyeing up her butt.

“Well, I have some books to look up, so I’ll be doing that.” Willow left her seat to make her way up into the stacks, a small list in hand.

“And I’m pretty much not with the seeking of books, so I’m off to. . .tidy my locker, or something. See ya later.” Xander picked his bag off the floor and made his way out.

“Say hi to Cordy, and thank her for me,” Faith said, as he got to the door.

“What makes you think I’m going to see Cordelia?” He waited for more of an answer than Faith’s smirk and Buffy’s humph. “Ok, busted. But why do I have to thank her for you?”

“She’ll know why. Just tell her I got it figured out,” Faith said, winking at Xander then making her way back to the table situated over the hellmouth.

Buffy didn’t seem to know where to look as Faith neared her. She couldn’t blame Buffy for acting nervous though. If someone had taken her diary full of lascivious thoughts about another girl written in it, she knew she’d be worried too. But she’d also be pissed off, and somewhere under the façade of attempting to look cool, Buffy did appear pissed off.

“Look, B. . .I. . .” Faith’s attempted apology was interrupted.

“Oooh, look what I found. The joy of. . .plants. I think I might take this out,” Willow enthused, then popped her head back behind the shelf she was busy drooling over.

Both Buffy and Faith chuckled, looking at each other, gentle smiles breaking some of the ice. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, holding them both captive. Faith didn’t want to turn away, but she was afraid to keep drowning in green innocence. She didn’t want to start feeling things that would take away some of her control, that wasn’t what this was about as far as she was concerned.

“I err, here. . .” Faith handed Buffy back her journal. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of taken it.” She looked away, feeling unusually sorry for doing something she wouldn’t have thought twice about if it had been somebody else.

“Thank you,” Buffy said in a small voice as she placed the book into her bag.

Both Slayers avoided eye contact for a while, Faith moving round to the other side of the desk to sit down. She thought she should probably go, and leave the strained atmosphere until after Buffy had read what she had written following the last entry.

She had been compelled to go back to Buffy’s house after Cordelia had dropped her off at her motel, so Faith had followed her instinct and arrived there not long after Buffy had. She had fully intended to tap on the girl’s window so they could talk things over, but then she had witnessed Buffy masturbating.

She had watched as Buffy had slipped her fingers inside herself, filling and stroking her pussy with Faith’s name on her lips.

The sight had aroused her so much, she was afraid that if Buffy had let her in, she would smell it on her and know she had been watching. Faith didn’t want to jeopardize any chance with the other girl, so she had stealthily snuck away and thought of another plan to get Buffy to loosen up and consider more than just writing about having sex with her.

She had looked again at the small black book, and figured out how to let Buffy know a few things without the stubborn Slayer shooting her down.

It had taken Faith a while to decide to write anything at all. Then forever to come up with something appropriate. But she hoped it would let Buffy know how she felt, even if it just served to put them on an equal footing. It had to be better than the awkwardness surrounding them now.

“It’s awfully quiet in here.” Giles re-entered the room with a small cup of tea in his grasp. Nobody spoke in answer. “Ok, have I slipped into some kind of warped dimension where you all actually do believe this is in fact a library, and the notices on the wall calling for silence are indeed meant to be adhered to?” he chuckled and looked from one Slayer to the other.

“We were just mentally plotting the next move in our plan to get you out of those lame suits, G,” Faith said, breaking the tension.

“Ha bloody ha. I’ll have you know, this is the height of fashion in librarian circles.” The self-mocking tone didn’t escape either girl, and they laughed at Giles’ small but clearly indignant huffing sound.

“I can just see it now. Catwalks busy with tweed suited librarians, shuffling up and down, shushing the audience, and indexing the designer labels,” Buffy joked, pulling her serious face and trying not to giggle as she spoke.

“Yes well, we can’t all be fashion victims, Buffy. Or the sole reason for the growth in the cattle market.” He looked down at Faith in her patented black leather pants.

“Hey, I just wear what I look good in. Which, I gotta say is pretty much anything, but the leather? Gets them every time,” Faith said, wiggling her eyebrows and not missing the slightly disgruntled look that crossed Buffy’s face.

She knew now of course why Buffy was so against her little sexual dalliances. The little Slayer was jealous. She didn’t want to share, even if she was too scared to confront Faith with her feelings and her attraction to her. It was kinda sweet, Faith had to admit. She didn’t want to be anybody’s property, but if she had to choose, then Buffy was the only one she would even consider going down the monogamy road with.

“Hmm, well, I won’t comment on your err, private life, Faith. Although, I do have to say, a girl your age should respect her body a lot more than you obviously do. You should. . .show a little more restraint,” Giles said, sipping his tea.

“I thought you weren’t going to comment? I just do what comes naturally. I slay, I get horny, I have to deal with it or get real antsy. It’s a Slayer thing. . .right, B?” Faith said, lifting a booted foot up onto the desk and grinning at Buffy, knowing the prim girl would never admit to feeling the whole hungry and horny vibe in front of her Watcher.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Faith. And you’re ‘antsy’ most of the time.” Buffy crossed her arms as if to quell the conversation, or steer it firmly away from the subject of sex, or at least, Faith and sex.

“Maybe I’m not getting enough to cure my hornies then. I’ll have to work on that,” Faith said as she looked right into the sparkling green of Buffy’s eyes, trying to see if she got the double meaning to her words.

Buffy’s slight blush told her she had. Giles just grumbled to himself and returned to his office, leaving the two Slayers sat facing each other in a staring contest. They both refused to look away, stubborn in their need to feel like they had the upper hand. Faith loved the game, as it always ended in her triumph.

She licked her lips sensually, flicking her tongue over the cleft in her full lower lip, taking her time to draw Buffy’s attention to what she was doing.

Buffy lowered her eyes to Faith’s mouth and the brunette smirked in victory. It was more than just a victory for their little staring showdown however. It was also pretty good proof that Buffy was busy thinking lustful thoughts about her.

Before either girl could dwell on it though, Willow skipped down from the bookshelves, an array of books in her arms. She plonked herself down next to Buffy and then frowned slightly, looking between the two girls. She was probably sensing some kind of tension. Faith certainly was, and it had everything to do with the cute blonde in front of her.

“Get what you wanted, Will?” Buffy asked.

“Mostly. Um, is everything alright?” Willow questioned, looking between Faith and Buffy again.

“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” Buffy assured, then sneakily looked up through her eyelashes at Faith, as if to ask if everything was all right between them.

Faith just smiled, letting a soft chuckle of air out of her lungs at how worried Buffy must have been about the things she had written in her diary. She had reason to be worried though, because Faith wasn’t about to let it slide.

She half expected Buffy to think she would just tease her about it for a while, and then forget about it. But that wasn’t going to happen. There was no way she was going to back down from what Buffy had clearly stated she dreamed of and wanted, in her own words.

Faith knew what she wanted too, she wanted Buffy, and now that she was certain the feeling was mutual, nothing was going to stand in her way.

Faith stood up whilst Willow was busy at the counter having Giles stamp her books, she rounded the table to the side Buffy was seated, then leaned down sexily right in front of the astonished girl. Capturing her eyes with her own deep dark pools of desire, feeling the heat coming in waves from the currently dazed Slayer, she leant in as close as she could.

Placing her mouth next to Buffy’s delicate ear, Faith whispered huskily. “Go somewhere private and turn to the last entry in your diary. You’ll find out what I meant when I asked you to the Homecoming dance.” She stood back up and flashed a dimpled smile at Buffy, who couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Faith, nor speak.

She just nodded slowly, as Faith backed away and then turned to leave the library.

“Later, guys.” Faith pushed open the door, and left Buffy to find out exactly what she thought about the idea of them being more than just friends.



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