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The greatest thing on earth is to have the love of God in your heart, and the next greatest thing is to have electricity in your house.
Tennessee farmer promoting Rural Electrification, c. 1940

I just listen, smile, and pray a lot.
Ann Landers reader

Live daily
Laugh often
Hug at random
Care always
Live the moment

My cubicle's so small I have to step outside to change my mind.
Diet Coke commercial

The world would be a better place if everybody stopped acting like they were the center of the universe... and acknowledged that I am!
"Marvin" cartoon

Like Water For Chocolate is a love story. It is called this because when a cook boils chocolate, she must boil it with water, or the chocolate will burn. Likewise, something must ameliorate love before it becomes so intense that it burns up.

Nothing in life is preparation for the loss of a child.
Bessette family statement following deaths of Lauren Bessette, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, and JFK Jr.

Never put off until tomorrow the hug you can give today.
Cheerios box

Power is nothing without control.
Tirelli tire commercial

If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
Sears, Roebuck, & Co. Consumer's Guide, 1897

When Ed Bell first met Esther Williams at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, he asked what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, to which she responded, "Have a reason to get up in the morning."

Trust is the most valuable thing you'll ever earn.
Dove Promises wrapper

Silence is as much speech as speech itself.
lawyers for dairy farmers in federal suit

Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
Richter cartoon caption

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
English professor, Ohio State University

Let your conscience be your guide and you'll never have any fun.
Maxine (Hallmark)

There is only one pretty child and every mother has it.
Dove Promises wrapper

I am a Marxist - of the Groucho tendency.
Anonymous, French slogan

When it rains, it pours.
Morton's Salt

Be yourself... it's a tough act to follow.
Virginia Slims billboard

A champion is someone who gets up even when they can't.
No Fear

If your ship hasn't come in yet, swim out to it!
shirt

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
"Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon by Bill Watterston

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They are not fond of the rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.
from Apple's "Think Different" campaign

Destined for greatness... but pacing myself.
shirt

Skeptics' Society - we'll make a disbeliever out of you.
Mitsubishi commercial

A lady is a woman who makes a man want to behave like a gentleman.
Ann Landers's "Gem of the Day"

What's stupider than a cigarette in your ear? A cigarette in your mouth. Don't smoke.
anti-smoking commercial

Everything we need to know, we learned in kindergarten... boys are stupid.
American Greetings

A lot of things can cause a lack of sleep. It's called life.
Alluna sleep aid commercial

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

I want to be complicated, celebrated, mysterious, yet loved and hated, all my life I've waited for someone to notice me. Hello, world, it's complicated me.
The Gathering Field

T-shirts:
You can't scare me, I'm married.
Embarrassing my children. Just one more service I offer.
Sarcasm. Just one more service I offer.
Criticism. Just one more service I offer.
You call me a freak like it's a bad thing.

Where do you want to go today?
Microsoft slogan

Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Don't fret about copping life's grand rewards. Enjoy its tiny delights. There are plenty for all of us.
United Technologies Corp. advertisement

If aliens are of higher intelligence, why do they abduct the dumbest people?
Starburst commercial

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons.
"Popular Mechanics", March, 1949

Is there life before death?
graffiti in Belfast

Spread a little sunshine.
Jack Lemmon's father's last words

Don't just embrace life. Grab it by the waist, throw it to the ground, and give it a great big noogie.
Illinois Board of Tourism (advertisement)

There ought to be a different category for Southern girls. They've been doing this since they were born. They're professionals.
northern contestant in a beauty pageant

Pray
Until
Something
Happens
church bulletin

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out-of-body experience.
"Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon by Bill Watterston

The best things in life are silly.
"Dilbert" cartoon

Never knock on death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
"Doctor, Doctor"

If you can't beat them, then they're not tied up properly.
comedian

When there's no good reason to carry on, sometimes the only thing left is plain, stupid, defiant hope.
Superchic(k)

If you don't look, you can never see. And what you can't see is very hard to find.
Ms. Frizzle

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
church marquee

Love may be blind, but it does have a really good sense of smell.
Big Red gum commercial

If you live in the present, every moment is a new beginning.
Dove Promises wrapper

At the beginning of the day, it's all about possibilities.
At the end of the day, it's all about results.
Miller Financial

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me. I demand euphoria.
Calvin and Hobbes

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
church marquee

I was too scared to panic.
theater manager in Van Wert, Ohio, describing tornado storm in November, 2002

Your motto is 'If you've got it, flaunt it.' Which is ironic because you haven't got it.
Coors commercial

Foreign language proficiency is crucial to the economic competitiveness and national security of the United States. Significant improvement in the quantity and quality of foreign language instruction offered in United States elementary and secondary schools is necessary... All Americans need a global perspective. To understand the world around us, we must acquaint ourselves with the languages, cultures, and history of other languages.
Homeland Security Education Act (S. 1799)

I loved you before you were born. I dreamed about how the world would be different because of you. I know what you're thinking, but life has purpose. Your life has purpose. You can start over.
Love Always, God
United Methodist church TV advertisement

Life is hard - compared to what?
church marquee

Modest and Proud of It
Walton and Johnson mornings, Rock 101 Billboard, Texas City, Texas

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the four F's: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.
heard in a neuropsychology classroom

Love all, Trust a few, Do wrong to none.
Countess of Rossillion in "All's Well That Ends Well," William Shakespeare (Act I, Scene I, Lines 64-65)

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
graffito

As you journey through life, take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
Hagar the Horrible

Trust yourself less and God more.
church marquee

Quarrels in France strengthen a love affair; in America they end it.
"The Paris Diary of Ned Rorem"

If you want to see something done, just tell some human beings it can't be done. Make it known that it's impossible to fly to the moon, or run 100 meters in 9.9 seconds, or solve Fermat's Last Theorem. Remind the world that no one has ever hit 62 home runs in a season or stuffed 18 people into a Volkswagen. Dangle the undoable in front of the world. Then, consider it done.
Merrill Lynch advertisement

Say a few prayers and keep on going.
U.S. Marine in Iraq

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.
graffito

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
Bill Watterston, Calvin in "Calvin and Hobbes"

A cheap thrill is still a thrill.
t-shirt

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs
title of book by Chuck Klosterman

Service is love in work clothes.
church marquee

Nothing hurts worse than when the one you love doesn't choose you.
"Grand Canyon"

Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says, "This is going to take more than one night."
Charlie Brown in "Peanuts," Charles M. Schulz

Grace...
the Grace to laugh, the Grace to cry, Grace to drink each breath with the fullness of experience...
Grace to do all things in the assurance, the shelter, of God's all-encompassing love.
Grace, to take each step confidently, boldly, knowing that Grace granted them each one a privilege, a gift, never to be repeated.
Live boldly in Grace.
from the CD cover "Grace," Margaret Becker

Brutus: ... the eye sees not itself, But by reflection,
by some other things.
Cassius: ... And since you know you cannot see yourself
So well as by reflection, I, your glass,
Will modestly discover to yourself
That of yourself which you yet know not of.
William Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," Act I, scene 1, lines 52-54, 67-70

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this information for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months.
Bill Tammeus, in Toronto's National Newspaper, 1991

... maybe you dreamed of rocking the world, rather the world was ready or not..." "Sylvania" commercial

We are such stuff,
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
William Shakespeare's "The Tempest," Act IV, scene i

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