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A Gift is Still a Gift
A few days ago I received an e-mail of one of the stories that makes it way around the Internet sent on and on for whatever reasons. The story touched me but I hesitated because I had problems with some things that I believed it implied and at least one bit that sincerely annoys me. I thought about it for a while and then decided to forward the entire e-mail and add the thoughts that occurred to me at the end.
Greetings & Salutations to all,
I'm going to forward this without editing although my belief system doesn't match the one in the story. I simply rearranged some things in my mind so that it works for me. Please, feel free to do so as well. I have additional comments at the end. -- CJ
Let's see if you send this back
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks.
They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous.
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can:
1) Pass this on to your friends or
2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.
As you can see, I took choice number 1. "Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
This story touched me greatly; however, I have some comments to make. When the pain, despair and/or fear (or any of a variety of other causes) inside someone are so deep that there is a serious decision to die, it is very possible that nothing you do will change that.
The young man who reached out to help did a good thing, better than he realized. However, the other young man could still have gone home and followed through with his plan to die. Much would depend on the depth of whatever was bothering him. Apparently, that one specific kindness was in this case, enough to change his course.
The person who reached out and helped was responsible for his decision and his actions. If he had walked away he would have been responsible for that also. However, he was in no way responsible for what the other one did with his kindness and, even if he had not helped, he would not have been responsible for the other one going home and suiciding. That was the other young man's responsibility and choice.
If you have ever tried to help someone who was self-destructive, whether you knew it at the time or not, you did what you could and what you knew how to do. If they then self-destructed anyway, it was neither your fault nor your responsibility. They made their own choice.
I will make one probably exception and that is in the case of continued and deliberate abuse or neglect, especially that of a parent to a child. Parents are responsible for their children until grown and a child has few or no defenses.
As for the last paragraph above -- well, nowadays, I know deep and true, that I have a circle of friends, regardless of whether any of them return this to me or not. Usually, I would delete that part before sending it on because I don't like the attempt to guilt someone into action. In this case, I will leave it and request that you save, delete or forward this as you wish. I respect you reasons for doing any of the above. Also, if you choose to send this on, feel free to remove or leave my additions. That also is up to you.
Thank you each and every one of you for being my friend, whether or not we are still close. Past, present, future or any or all of the above, I treasure each of you for who you are.
A gift is still a gift even if refused. Once you give it, it is no longer yours to control.
Bright Blessings, Zen Hugs and Love,
CJ
The original version of my e-mail was somewhat longer. I revised it and deleted a fair amount for reasons I go into in Part II.
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