This site is dedicated to cream gravy - the food of the gods.
Gravy in the News
Man Saves Boys Life with Gravy
MONTANA - During a recent Boy Scout outing in the remote stretches of Montana, Herbert Winston Jr., age 13, was mauled by an angry wolverine. According to sources within the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), Winston had been poking the wolverine, who had been sleeping in its den, with a fishing rod. The angry wolverine charged the boy tearing off most of his merit badges and causing a deep incision in his abdomen. Winston was able to stumble back to where the other scouts were making leather wallets before he passed out from his injuries. A quick thinking Scout Master, Ben Jacobs, was the first to reach the boy. "When I saw him all bloodied up and stuff I almost puked out my steak fingers. I mean, geez, I didn't plan for no trouble of this sort. I didn't even know there was wolverines in them woods," said a shaken Jacobs. Jacobs, who is a fan of cream gravy, had been munching on some steak fingers when Winston returned. "The first thing I thought was about my steak fingers so I rushed over a got the pot of gravy I had been dipping them in. I didn't want that wolverine to smell the gravy and come flying into camp and stab any other kids with them horns. After I got the pot I realized that maybe I could stop up the hole in Herbie's belly with that gravy. I had made it pretty thick that day, you see. I says to myself, I says 'Gravy, you never let me down before so be here with me now.' and I just started pouring that gravy into the hole in his belly. Herbie squirmed and cried a little so I had some of the other boys hold him until we got that hole good and filled up." They were then able to put the boy in their suburban and rush him to a nearby hospital. "No doubt it was that scout masters quick thinking that saved this boys life," says Nick Ruffman, Md. "If they hadn't've dumped that pot of gravy in him he'd of bled to death for sure." Jacobs has a different view of things. "It was nothing. I was just doing what anyone would of done. I ain't no hero or nothing. The gravy did all the work. The gravy was the real hero that day."
Women Convinced of the Healing Powers of Gravy
ARKANSAS - Marge Fedderman is a 56 year old house wife with cancer. Fedderman was diagnosed 5 years ago with a particular deadly form of lip cancer related to her 43 years of chewing tobacco. Last year, however, the cancer miraculously disappeared. Fedderman had exhausted all medical options and seemed to be slipping fast. "I had nothing else to try," says Fedderman. "The doctors did not know what to do. They tried chemo-therapy, radiation, and everything else. My lips were still rotting off of my face." It was at this time that she started looking into non-traditional means of treating cancer, specifically aroma therapy. "I met with a young fellow who would burn all sort of candles and smoky incense sticks and everything but that didn't seem to do much either." It was about this time that Fedderman came home from one of her aroma treatments and her husband, Larry Fedderman, was making homemade chicken fried steak and gravy. "When I came in the house and smelled Larry making that gravy I swear to God I felt 100 times better. For once my lips stopped throbbing. I don't know if it was just because I come back from the aroma guy or what but it just hit me that maybe the smell of gravy can cure my cancer." Most people are decidedly skeptical about the healing power of gravy but after 6 weeks with a potpourri crock pot simmering cream gravy 24 hours a day, it is hard to argue with the results. "I feel great now and this part of my lip that the doctor had removed even seems to be growing back." Larry is almost tearful when he speaks about it. "For the last couple of years she would cry and drool whenever she did her dipping. Since we've had the gravy going she can dip without pain and hardly ever drools onto the table. I consider that a miracle."