"You are the weakest link, g-bye!" After these words were spoken by the Italiano, the screen that the Agent was on blacked out.

Then the Italiano said, "Oops."

the Usual Suspects were overjoyed. The Unknown cheerfully said, "We finally beat him for good."

The floor began to shake and Qwert 33 uttered, "I don't think so."

HAL switched on and said, "I'm afraid, Dave. I'm afraid. Does not compute." Then something flashed on one of the smaller monitors in the room. It said 'restarting to Agent C sequence' and soon after the large monitor cracked......then shattered. The Agent burst out of the falling glass in a rage and said, "If I can't beat you with my big fancy reality/millionaire game, I guess I'll have to resort to the old fasion way. Italiano, get up here. I want to show you how to deal with these push overs." The Italiano flew up to the Agent, who was floating in the air. He waved his hands. Some of the monitors began to creak and then broke away from the wall and flew toward the Usual Suspects. 12 Gauge pulled out his side-arm and shot everysingle one of the flying menaces. "Arrgh!" said the Agent, then to Italiano, "You see how to use your powers?" Italiano said 'yes master' and the Agent continued, "good, I need you help on this one. Focus your force on the large plate in the center of the ceiling. I'll take care of the rest." The Agente Italiano raised her hand and used her telekinesis on the large metal plate, while The Agent used his powers to move other objects around.

An icebox, a TV, a something, a nothing, and a pair of Nike shoes came careening toward our heroes (PRETTY RANDOM OBJECTS DON'T YOU THINK?). While this kept the suspects occupied, Italiano loosened the plate in the ceiling. It came crashing down on 12 Gauge's head. He let out a big 'OHCH'. Then the Agent stopped his onslaught of objects. He landed on the floor and the Italiano did the same. He said, "Now Qwert 33, let us begin our hand-to-hand combat." Qwert came rushing toward the Agent with lightning speed. He hit the Agent in the jaw with his fist, then kicked him in the shins, and threw him the dark menace to the ground.

Qwert 33 said, "Had enough evil one?"

The Agent got up and dusted himself off, "Yes......of you!!!!" The Agent pointed his right hand at Qwert. Sparks flew from his black leather gloves. Lightning swirled around Qwert's body and began to levitate him off the ground. "I never was good at hand-to-hand, I always saw it as a brutish sport. I prefer to use the elements against my enemies. "

Qwert 33 did one of the most stupid things in his life at this moment. He opened his mouth to comment on the dark Agent had said, "You chick..........." He never got to finish this noble yet crude saying because the Agent's hand that was levitating Qwert pointed to a steel wall on the other side of the base, and Qwert was hurled and smashed into it with amazing force.

After this event the Agent said, "Next".

"I'll challenge you," this reply came from Narf 99.

"So be it you tin can." The Agent invited. Narf 99 had a few tricks up his sleeve or CPU or whatever robots hide their tricks. He lifted his left arm (WHO EVER HEARD OF A LEFT HANDED ROBOT?) in the air and a large saber-like blade popped out. He put his other arm out and the hand did an unfolding movment and became a large shield.

"Now I am ready to fight you. Narf out with this!" Narf 99's eyes lit up and a white hot laser shot out of them. The Agent pulled his cape around him and shielded himself. After Narf's burst of energy was over, the Agent emerged from his cape that was by some force of nature not damaged.

"So you want to fight dirty do yah!" The Agent put his hands in front of his face and yelled in pain. The pain was not from Narf 99's blast, but it was from something that lay inside the dark one. The hands that covered his face began to contort in the most grusome manner. Metallic blades forced their way through the Agent's wrists. They were four total, two on each hand, each over a foot long, and sharp as a raptor claw. The Agent lowered his claw-hands revealing his face again. Nothing really different there except his eyes were now blood red (EXORCIST RIPOFF!). "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Screamed the Agent, "Lets do this!"

The Agent slashed with his ginsu-hands at Narf 99. Narf used his shield to fend off each attack. After each attack the Agent made, Narf would thrust his blade outward. Since his one blade was somewhat larger than the Agent's small, crafty claws, it took him longer to dish out an attack. The Agent fought with electrifying speed. He jumped towards Narf 99, slashing left and right. After a while he bagan to notice the lefty robot's pattern with his shield and blade. The next time Narf struck out with his sword, instead of dodging, The Agent met the blade with his own. The force of The Agent's double claws sliced Narf's hand-sword in three pieces. Then he swepted Narf off his patented non-falling feet (GUESS THE WARANNTY RAN OUT). The Agent lifted one of his claws in the air and was about to jab them into Narf's metal body, until The Unknown, that mysterious traveler stepped up to challenge him. "Stop! You big bully. Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?"

The Agent said, "What are you talking about, Narf 99 is already my size? The only difference is that......hmm....let me think.....I'm about half and inch taller. Other than that were dimensionally equal, and ...." The Agent didn't get to finish his sentence, because while he was ditracted by The Unknown, and ungodly noise had sounded. It was Narf 99. From on of the compartments in his body, he pulled out a Sousaphone (A WHAT?), a marching tuba, (HOW DID HE FIT IT IN HIS BODY.....NEVER MIND, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW).

"Now Agent, I will play my greatest weapon, the 'Tuba of death'."

The Agent laughed at this, "HA HA HA, you pitiful fool. I too play that same instument. Fine let's duel." The Agent's claws retracted back into his wrists, and then he reached into his pocket and out came a regular tuba (DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW THAT ONE FIT IN EITHER). Narf 99 lifted the mouth piece to his mouth and began to blow. The Agent did the same. From each bell of the instuments, a gigantic laser shot foward. The death rays met each other halfway through their journey to their target. What happened next was a sort of laser tug-of-war, except it was more of a push-of-war if you know what I mean (NO I DON'T). The beams continued their danse macabre until finally Narf 99 began to run out of air. Since he was a robot, he saw no use for lungs. The Agent was invicible, so he could play till doomsday. The Agent's beam finally overcame Narf's and it hit it's target with amazing force. Narf 99 was throwm backwards. Since a Sousaphone is so big, when Narf was thrown backward, he hit 12 Gauge too, who was still recovering from the steel plate that the Agente Italiano dropped on his head. So both two suspects were taken out in this round. Two birds with one stone (THAT PHASE IS SO OLD AND LAME THAT MY GRANDMA DOESN'T EVEN USE IT ANYMORE).

"So I guess your next Unknown?"

"Yes I am." replied this traveler, "But I won't do it alone. To have a better chance against you, I am fighting with The Empress at my side."

"A few minutes ago you said you wanted me to pick on somebody my one size. You little hypocrite. Now your going to fight me two to one." The Agent said with disgust. Next, he snapped his fingers and the Agente Italiano came to his side like a trained pet. The Agent began to speak again, "I won't fight you Unknown, I'll fight the Empress thank you."

"Well, who am I supposed to fight?" The Unknown complained. Then he heard a 'HE HE HE' and the next thing he knew the Agente Italiano was clobbering him. The Unknown tried to escape, but Italiano's five inch nails had dug into the sleeves of his uniform. The Italiano then hit the Unknown on the head with head head (OUCH). After this, some sense came into the Unknown's head (OR KNOCKED INTO BY THE ITALIANO). Even though the Unknown was no longer as powerful as he used to, he could still use his firey teleportation. So guess what, he disappeared from the she-darkling's fingers. A big burst of fire came out of his body and he was gone in a flash, then reappeared in the another corner of the base in another burst of flame, leaving the Italiano charred. She was infuriated by this. She flew in the air toward The Unknown again........... without much success, because he used the same trick again. More flames engulfed the dark spawn. Now she was even more enraged. She charged again, but this time the Unknow did not escape her clutches. His power had run out by using the teleportation too much. He let out, "Uh Oh!" then the Italiano slammed her whole body. The Unknown was sprawled out on the floor. The thing that had hit him no longer looked like the Agente Italiano, but a blacked mass of ash in a slightly human form. This great traveler thought if the Italiano killed him at least he put up a good fight.

His dreams were soon crushed when the Italiano began to shake violently. The soot began to fall away revealing this mistress of the dark back into her regular form she laughed, "HE HE HE HE HE. Now you are really going to get it." She picked up the Unknown by his feet and swung him around in a circle over and over until she started into a death spiral. She let go and he was slammed against a mainframe in the room. Sparks flew everywhere.

This didn't stop our little hero. He got back of his feet and said, "A stick, A stick, my kingdom for a stick!" (WHO WRITES THIS STUFF.......OH YEAH YOUUUUUUU!) "Gummi, you'll do nicely." Gummibear seemed to be the ignored one in this battle until now. Even when she finally got into a battle, she was used as a prop. The Unknown grabbed her by the feet and straightened her out. He swung her stiff body, left and right at the evil menace. Then there was a blinding light on the other side of this underground base. (WHAT DOES THIS LAST LINE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE?)

The Italiano dodged these attack with great ease, "Don't be stupid," (LIKE IT WASN'T ALREADY) She grabbed Gummibear's skinny body and ripped her out of the Unknown's grasp. "How do you expect to defeat me with a 'stick', you simpleton."

She threw 'stick' Gummi over her shoulder, Gummi let out a "Weeee!!" as she went flying. It looks like this was it for the traveler, but wait....his powers has recharged enough to do another fire teleport. Italiano raise her fist to punch the him, but she saw that he was doing that fire thing again. So she did a backflip and go out of the way. she said, "Oh no you don't. Cool Off!!!" She pointed her left hand at the inferno of the Unknown and a blue laser shot out of her finger. The laser was an ice ray and it froze the Unknown into a morbid ice sculpture.

While this little conflict between The Unknown, Gummibear, and the Agente Italiano was beginning, the Agent and the Empress were beginning their own battle royal. This conflict was just as ferocious as the Unknown's, and a whole lot more fireworks. The Agent said, "Ladies first," and the battle was begun. "You had it all," he said, "you had even more power than me at the time, but no, you had to be noble and choose Qwert 33 over me, even thought I won. Now I shall have my revenge." The Empress's opening move was a fireball that hit the Agent in the head sending him to the floor.

The Empress said, "What was I supposed to do, let you fry the world with electricity?"

The Agent got up and pulled out his golden lasers, "Yes!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled and then he fired. The Empress ducked into bullet-time to escape most of this barrage, but was clipped in the leg. She lost her balance and fell. The Agent floated toward her. His eyes again turned red and a white hot ray shot out of them. The Empress was engulfed in ray. She screamed in pain, but she pulled out her purse and got a mirror out of it. She reflected the ray back into the Agent's making his eyes disintegrate. It was a horrifying sight. But, the Agent did have regenerating powers. The Empress only had a few seconds to regroup and plan her next attack. The Agent's eye regenerated and he looked toward the Empress. His vision was still blurry after that blast, but he could make out that she was holding another weapon.

"Say cheese electrode!" the Empress said victoriously. The Agent's sight finally came back to normal. He saw what she was holding. It was a Polaroid camera.

"NO!" screamed the Agent, "Don't send me back there. It will make me crazy." (AND SAYING THESE CHEESY LINES AND PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION HASN'T ALREADY?)

The Empress did not comply with his pleas. She held the camera up and snapped the picture. The camera flashed (SO THAT'S WHERE THAT WHITE LIGHT CAME FROM) and a photo came out. It developed in a few seconds. It was a lovely picture of the Agent looking like Bambi in headlights, but The Agent himself was not in the camera. He was scrunched up in a little ball on the floor. He was murmuring something like, "I'll get out, you wait and see!!!" The Empress went over to the Agent and tapped him on the shoulder. She said, "Hey, it didn't work. Your not in the camera."

The Agent got out of his little ball and said in a regular voice, "Oh.....that's a relief. Now were we." Now in a more deep, villianous, "HA HA HA. You thought you could trap me in that little camera. You were a fool enchantress." He again flew up in the air, but the Empress grabbed him by the legs and pulled him back down.

"Say down!!!!!!!" The Empress yelled. Then she moved her hands in a hammer type motion and hit The Agent over the head and he was driven into the ground. She repeated this process until all you could see of the agent was his head. She goifn to finish te job, then suddenly the edge of the hole that that he was cracking. Before she knew it, the Empress was blown back by the atomic force of the Agent's escape.

He flew toward the Empress and grabbed her around the neck choking her. "You are not going to humiliate me again." the dark form said to the Empress, who was gasping for air. "I am not some nail to be hammered in the ground by you. Now it is time for you to leave this dimesion for good. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" He continued laughing. His body was beginning to be surrounding by lightning. He was planning to electrocute her.

Qwert 33 finally recooperated from being thrown into the steel wall. He watched in fear as the Agent was strangling the Empress. He began to run and then when he got to Agent, he used his superjump and hit the Agent directly in the chest. The Agent let go and his body shot through the ceiling, the Agente Italiano flew up after him. Qwert landed and looked at the giant hole the Agent left in his base (I HOPE HE WANTED A SKYLIGHT). "Hey everybody," Qwert called to the Usual Suspects. "Lets get him!" All but the Unknown came (I GUESS THAT'S BECAUSE HE WAS FROZEN). "Get him out of there," Qwert yelled. The Empress went to ice-Unknown and shot her heat ray at him. The ice melted.

"I would have gotten out without your help." said the Unknown a little disgraced. Narf 99 went over to the hole and shot a grappling hook from his back and it went through the hole. He made sure it was secure, the suspects climbed up through the hole.

The hole led to the sidewalk in front of the Empire State Building. The street was full of taxis (WHAT KIND OF DIABOLICAL PLAN IS THIS? WHO COULD BE SO EVIL.) it was a typical New York City night. "Where is he?" Gummibear inquired. 12 Gauge decided that he could get a better look in the middle of the street. The rest of the suspects thought that this was a good idea too, so they followed him. (IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY STREET?) The taxis stopped and started honking immediately. (OBVIOUSLY)

They still didn't see the Agent, but the shadows that the buildings cast seemed to much darker than before. The Agent was there after all. He floated about twenty feet in the air. Behind him was the Agente Italiano also flying.

"That was a cheap shot!" the Agent said directly to Qwert 33. "For that you will pay......on the second thought the human race will pay." Then he said to the Italiano. "Go. Prepare for the apocalypse." She flew off into the night. Narf 99 started to fly after her with his jet pack, but just as he left the ground, the Agent shot a lightning bolt at him. "Not so fast!" It struck Narf sending him onto the roof of a limo. "I want all of you here."

Qwert 33 then said to the suspects. "I think he's right. We may need to combine our powers to stop him. On my mark we are going to hit him with everything we got.....GO." The suspects turned toward the agent. Qwert shot fireballs at him. The Empress, sunrays. The Unknown-lasers. Gummibear-goo, 12 Gauge-sub-atomic-plasma-laser-rifle, Narf 99-all of the above.

"Cease fire!" commanded Qwert 33. The smoke cleared out of the place where the Agent was. Actually, he was still there. Not even one burn mark on him.

"HA HA HA HA HA!" the Agent laughed, "One bit of advice. Think before you act. You know that I have super-hearing too. I heard every word you said. That gave me enough time to put up my shields. Now it time to pay the fiddler." The Agent raised his hands and all the taxis on the street were blown back in a matter of seconds. It was as if he pulled a tablecloth off a table. "There, now things aren't so crowded." The Agent said then continued his reign of terror. He pointed at a building. It imploded into a massive cloud of dust. The suspects put there hands in front of there faces to shield themselves.

The Agent pointed way out on the far side of New York. This time a dot started floating out of the horizon. It was a flying saucer!(EXCUSE ME???) The space ship exploded setting the roads on fire. (THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF SENSELESS ACTION)

"Not enough fireworks." said the Agent. Then there was a gigantic explosion that varporized all the surrounding skyscrapers. The Agent then turned toward a big sign. "This should be interesting." he said with delight. All of neon lights in sign exploded simultaneously. Glass showered where the suspects stood.

"Stop it." Qwert 33 pleaded. The Agent paid no attention to his pleas. He stared at another large building and all of the windows shattered. Then the building itself exploded, sending debris for miles. The blast knocked the sturdy suspects to their feet. Tons of granite fell on top of them, yet they climbed out of it.

"I think that should about do it." said the dark one as he pointed in four more directions. These caused four power plants to explode causing a firestorm. One after the other the remaining buildings crumbled.

Qwert finally got the Agent's attention, "Stop it now! Why do you want to destroy New York City."

The Agent laughed, "HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!! Destroy just the city??? Come on, you have got to give me more credit than that. I'm going to destroy the world. HA HA HA HA!"

"But why?" Qwert asked.

"Because I had nothing better to do." The Italiano came flying back.

"Here it is dark lord." she handed him a detonator.

"No!!!" Qwert pleaded, "If you blow up Earth (THIS PLOT IS SO B MOVIE, NOT JUST THAT IT'S ALMOST A "Z" MOVIE) you'll kill everything."

"No Duh!!!" scowled the Agent.

"But that means that you'll kill youself too. Why are you doing this mad deed."

The Agent floated silent for a moment among the wreck of New York then answered. "This is the way it has to be. The battles between you and me were just the Alpha of this odyssey. Now this final battle shall be the Omega of this tiny planet. I'm not planning of dying with it though." Qwert was about to say something but the Agent cut him off. "Neither are you and you pitiful fighting force. This is something that must be settled I have prepared for it for millennia (BOY THIS AGENT DUDE IS OLD). After I blow up this tiny rock, I will reveal all the revelations of our trials and tribulations. "(THIS IS JUST OVER MY HEAD)

The Agent put up his finger to pressed the big red button when the Empress said, "Wait!" But the Agent, being the most impatient villain paid not attention and pressed the button. Armageddon had begun, and seven thunders uttered their voices.

Interlude
Revelations

BANG!!! hydrogen bombs, atomic bombs, any nuclear device you name it. (AND THE ONLY NOISE YOU COULD THINK OF WAS BANG!) Earth was no more. Rocks exploded outward. The moon went off spinning out of orbit and crashed into the sun. A solar flare engulfed the planet Mercury (FYI: LEAD FLOATS IN MERCURY). Some chunks of Earth went flying out into the far reaches of space. Everything was gone. New York City, Austin, London, Tokyo.....all gone. The Co-Ops of the Usual Suspects the Secret Base of the Agent, the HAL 9000, gone the way of the dodo.

But......
The Agent and the Agente Italiano were still kicking and very much alive. So were the Usual Suspects. How was this so. The last thing that Qwert 33 remembered was a blinding white light and heat that would vaporize everything including the Earth itself. The Usual Suspects were disoriented but they got to their feet. (UH QUESTION WHAT ARE THEY STANDING ON???). The Agent and his comrade were also already on their feet, yet they did not have that look of disorientation the suspects had. (EXCUSE ME I ASKED WHAT ARE THEY STANDING ON??)

"What are we standing on Gummibear said to the Agent?" (THANK YOU)

"Why the Earth of course. Or what's left of it." The suspects looked at what they stood on. It was a rather large chunk of ground, roughly the size of two football fields.

"How did you blow it up." asked The Unknown.

The Agent replied. "Well, I took all of the worlds nuclear weapons and stuck them in key places around the world. Why, even one was in my secret base."

12 Gauge had to ask next, "Well I thought that the Earth had enough bombs on it to blow it up seven times."

The dark being grinned, "It just keeps getting better and better. Would you like to see what I did with the surplus?" The Agent held up the detonator. He pressed the button six more times, and Venus, Mars, Pluto, and the sun blew to bits, detroying every last planet. "I had to use the remaining bombs on the 'rock' planets. When I still had more I sent them to the sun to wipe out everything else."

"So this is the end?" said the Empress.

This time the Italiano spoke, "HE HE HE HE HE. Not yet. The Dark Agent has something more to say when he gets to his home."

"Where is his home?" 12 Gauge inquired.

The Agent began to speak, "We are here. Go ahead look off the side." The suspects moved to an edge of the rock and looked. What they saw was horrifying. It was a black hole. "Welcome to my home," said the dark one. "This is the Internet. The Earth only discovered it a few years ago. Thought they could use it for information. HA! The information highway is nothing compared to what it really is. It is the beginning and the end of everything (YOU TOTALLY LOST ME IN THAT SENTENCE). I was born here. There was a battle between the good and the not so good here a long time ago. I was one of the contenders in that fight. I know what your thinking, but the Agent didn't exist back then, but the not so good did. I the Agent came only recently. The not so good met up with a motal called the Advisor that had something against a being of the good Qwert 33. Do you know the outcome of the original battle. Well the good got a cheap shot on the not so good and the universe was filled with light. Pretty sappy ending huh. Well in a few minutes the battle will again take place. But for right now lets have some minor revelations."

The Agent, "You know the Agente Italiano here?" The Italiano waved, and the suspects nodded. "You know where she got her powers?" they nodded no. "Well thanks to your lovly Empress, she has half the evil power that resided in her. Still I don't think that evens out the score here." He looked at The Unknown.

"Mr. Traveler? Boy you have an interesting story indeed. You just think your a Usual Suspect. You wonder why most of your godlike power has gone? It's because you changed sides without even knowing it. Years ago I made you with genetic research, you were one of the most powerful creatures that I created. You could open up dimesions at the touch of a button. Then, just as I was putting your memory card in, Narf 99 broke into the Secret Base without me knowing it. He put in a new program in your brain. You were programed to destroy me instead, but like most of Narf 99's inventions, there are defects. The new memory card started eating away at you powers leaving you in the state that you are in now."

"No!! It can't be!" yelled the Unknown.

"Yes," said the Agent, "Embrace the darkness. Search your feelings you know it is true." (HEY! THIS LINE IS FROM 'STAR WARS') The Agent pulled out a CD from one of his pockets and tossed it to the Unknown like a ninja star. It struck him in the forehead, but instead of cutting him, a disk drive popped out and the CD was inserted. HTML began to flash across the Unknown's face saying INSTALLING PROGRAM. When the words disappeared, the Unknown stood silent.

12 Gauge walked to him and said, "Hey man. You okay?" Then blue flame surrounded the Unknown like an aura. Before 12 Gauge's eyes the Unknown was tranforming. The Unknown punched 12 Gauge sending him fifty feet back. The Unknown uniform started turning black, his hair stood in spikes. His glasses melted away revealing empty sockets filled with green light. His hands turned into claws covered in leather gloves. This teeth grew vampire fangs. He was no longer the Unknown, now he was.....

"I bring you the Unknown Traveler, my greatest experiment!" said the Agent (THAT'S THE UNKNOWN'S NAME HE FINALLY GETS A NAME AND IT'S 'UNKNOWN TRAVELER'?)

The Unknown Traveler now had all his original powers back, he was now the ultimate monster, "DESTROY!!!" the creature said.

"In a minute, my darking." The Agent crooned.

Narf 99 yelled in protest, "What did you do to him?"

The Agent answered, "Just undoing the damage you did. HA HA HA HA HA!!! Now things are as they should, everything is more even now.....except.....YOU!" The Agent glared at Narf 99, "There is a terrible mistake here. Narf 99 should not be here at all."

The remaining suspects looked at the dark one in disbelief, "There are certain things about the internet that you don't know. You are not familiar with the rule here." His voice echoed in the nothingness (IF THERE IS NOTHING, THEN WHY IS THERE AN ECHO???) "The rule is that all warriors in this battle must have some form of mystical power to qualify. That means that all unatural weapons will cease to exist in battle."

"What about your laser pistols, and 12 Gauge's plasma weapons?" questioned Qwert.

"My pistols will stay, because I make them appear from my mind, they are natual....but 12 Gauge's weapons are not valid here, because they are man made." as he said that 12 Gauges sub atomic plasma laser rifle disappeared.

"Aw man, " said 12 Gauge.

The Agent continued, "So Narf 99, most of you does not belong in this black hole. Good bye!"

"Wait," protested Narf, "I'm not all robot, I still got my head. It's still organic." That was the exact truth. Narf's metal skeleton disappeared leaving only his head.

"HA HA HA!!! I had deafeated you." but the defeat was short live, because Narf's head was biting at his black boots. "Get off of me, can't you see you are defeated?"

"'Tis only a flesh wound. None shall pass. I'll gum you to death!" the head uttered.

The Agent sighed and picked up the head, "Here you deal with this." He said and handed Narf 99 to the Italiano.

"Ooh it's so pretty!" Italiano exclaimed, "Can I play with it???"

"No you may not, just get rid of it." The Agent said in disgust. The Agente Italiano frown and went to the edge of the dirt and kicked the head into outer space. (AND THE USUAL SUSPECTS DO NOTHING BUT STAND THERE?)

As the head flew out into space it said, "Let's call it a draw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........."

"Now we are perfectly even, everything is as it should be.(HOLD ON A MINUTE, THE AGENT'S FORCES ARE 3 AND THE USUAL SUSPECTS ARE 4, SOMEONE CAN'T COUNT) Here is how we shall be paired up." there was an eerie silence as the Agent called out the first pair. "12 Gauge......Unknown Traveler."

12 Gauge looked at his opponent which was howling at the moon, (DIDN'T THE MOON CRASH INTO THE SUN LAST TIME WE SAW IT?) he said, "Man why do I always get the grunt work?"

The Agent continued, "The Empress........Agente Italiano!"

The Italiano laughed, "HE HE HE HE HE!"

The Agent continued, (THIS SEEMS LIKE A BROKEN RECORD) "Qwert 33.......The Agent!!! HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!" cosmic lightning stuck everywhere as the words left his mouth."

"Hey, what about me," Gummibear said in a small voice.

The Agent paid no attention, but the Empress invited, "Come on my follower, you can help me, but next time you have to find you own nemesis."

The remaining suspects got into their battle positions. The Agent gave the go-ahead, "Let the battle begin.....HA HA HA HA HA! BRING IT ON!!!!"

Sforzando
Climactic Battle 4

NOTE:All the battles went on at the same time, so there will be a pause between each battle (***)

***

As the Agent let out 'on' the rock on which they were standing broke off into three pieces separating each of the battles.

The Unknown Traveler lunged at 12 Gauge. "Destroy!" the creature said.

12 Gauge dodged the attack and said, "Take this!!!" he punched the Unknown Traveler numerous times in the face. The Traveler's lips went into small spasms and then its mouth opened. It let it's tongue, which had a double mouth on it (EVER SINCE 'ALIEN' CAME OUT, EVERY CREATURE HAS TO HAVE THE SECOND MOUTH THING). The small set of jaws tried to bite 12 Gauge, but they missed. 12 Gauge ran back, and the ceature chased after him."

"DESTROY!!!" it yelled again. It shot its claw forward and ultraviolet beams shot from its fingertips. Since 12 Gauge was very large, the Traveler should have hit him, but he used his bullet time. 12 Gauge thought that he could out smart the once intelligent Unknown, but he was wrong. The Unknown Traveler's speak may have been limited to one word, but his mind was as sharp as ever. He caught on quickly that 12 Gauge could not be hit so easily. Instead of shooting directly at the rather large 12 Gauge he shoot just in front of him.

12 Gauge did not see the change in attack. When one of the Traveler's beams hit the groud in front of him, the ground exploded into a mass of flame. 12 Gauge was blown back and sent to the ground. The Traveler jumped in the air and landed beside 12 Gauge. It let out it's unearthy cry, "DESTROY!"

12 Gauge looked up at the monster and saw that it was drooling on him, "Yuck!" he said, "I've already had a shower today thank you!" and he punched the Traveler. All the punch did was enrage the creature even more. The Traveler took it's claw and placed it around 12 Gauge's neck. It lifted him in the air with ease (WOW!!!). 12 Gauge looked into the creature's red eye sockets and suddenly knew what it was going to do. A fiery aura formed around the Traveler. Within a second he teleported in a burst of flames leaving 12 Gauge to roast.

12 Gauge got out of the fire and looked where the Traveler had gone. It was on the other of the rock. He ran toward it and the process was repeated. 12 Gauge was again left in the fire, while the Traveler. This happened three more times. Buy the second time 12 Gauge was still intact, but his uniform was mostly charred and his face had some soot on it. The process was going to be reapeated a forth time, but this time the blast of the fire was a bit slow, 12 Gauge got to the Traveler before it could disappear. With all his strength, 12 Gauge waved his hands in a clapping motion. The Traveler head was in the middle of the clap. 12 Gauge's hands hit the sides of the Travelers head with so much force, it exploded in a bunch of orange goo.

12 Gauge stepped back and expected the creature to fall over and croak, but it didn't. It still was walking around, even without a head. It's didn't know were it's prey was, so the headless Traveler started shooting lasers in all directions. 12 Gauge had enough and said, "I can't take it any more!!!" He ran toward the Traveler and rammed it. The Traveler lost it's balance and fell over the edge and toward the Black Hole of the Internet. It shot one more laser from it's fingertip and it hit the piece of rock 12 Gauge was standing on. The ground suddenly disappeared and 12 Gauge went falling into the Hole. He the headless Traveler started to fly up away from the Black Hole. "Oh no you don't!!" he yelled and grabbed the creature before it could get any farther. The weight of 12 Gauge was too much for the headless monster. It clawed at 12 Gauge with all it's might, but he did not let go. In the end both The Unknown Traveler and 12 Gauge were consumed by the Black Hole.

***

On the other side of the broken up rock at the same time the timeless battle between the Agente Italiano and the Empress plus Gummi was beginning. The Italiano did a back flip and said, "HE HE HE HE HE, You can never defeat me!" (WAY CORNY RHYME LINE) She took off her hood and cape, so they wouldn't get in the way of the battle. Once the cape was discarded, it revealed something straped to her back. She reached behind her and pulled it out. It was.........a pepperoni stick! (OH NO THE UNIVERSE IS DOOMED!) She twirled it around until it was horizontal facing the Empress and Gummibear. Suddenly out from one side a crimson laser shot out of it. A second later and the other side did the same. The Empress knew what she must do to counteract the double bladed pepperoni stick.

She told Gummi, "I know what we must do." Gummibear nodded then simultaneously they too reached behind their backs and revealed two long poles. The Empress pressed the button on her pole and a gold energy 'flag' popped out. Gummi did the same and a silver 'flag' came waving in the solar winds. (VERY POETIC YET STUPID SENTENCE)

"Attack!!!" yelled the Empress, and the battle of their careers began.

Gummi jumped toward the Italiano, but was deflected by the light sabered pepperoni. The Empress attacked just a millisecond behind her companion, but was too stopped by the Italiano. Gummibear took the left and the Empress took the right, but neither got close enough to attack the dark mistress in the center. The energy of the flags and the pepperoni shot sparks as they collided, lighting up the dark empty galaxy. The Empress saw an opportunity to strike the Italiano in the leg, but the darkling jumped, missing the Empress's attack by mere inches. She landed and struck at the Empress. The attack was a tricky one since she had two foes. She slashed to the right at the Empress and kicked Gummibear. Gummi fell backward and the Empress flew back a few feet from the force of the Italiano's attack.

The Italiano twirled the pepperoni around and around and stopped it suddenly. Then she looked at her two competitors on the ground. She then shook her weapon like a pendulum, as if to say 'no no you naughty girls'. Then the Italiano pointed at one of the smaller rocks that were just laying around. It rose off the ground and then shot toward the Empress at lightning speed. The Empress quickly dispelled it with just a slash of her magical golden flag. "It'll take more than that to defeat me evil one." spoke the Empress in rebellion.

"HE HE HE HE HE!" the Agente Italiano laughed, "You more do yah!" This time the Italiano again pointed at a rock. When it came up, so did thousands more. They all shot toward the Empress and Gummibear. The Empress had to think of something quick if she was going to get out of this one. With a quick motion with her hand she made windmill motions with her flag. Gummi give the same and all the rocks were deflected out into space. "Arggg!" the Italiano shouted. She jumped into the air and planned to cut the Empress in two with her pepperoni. But, when she landed she was met by the blade of Gummibear's flag.

The Agente Italiano's pepperoni was cut in half and one laser went out like a light.(TECHNICALLY IT IS A LIGHT!!) She threw away the busted half of the pepperoni and grasped both hand on the working half. "You little...(THIS WORD WAS EDITED OUT)....!!! Now I'm really mad." The Agente Italiano lunged at Gummi with electrifying force. Even thought Italiano's weapon was now cut down by half, it was much lighter than the energy flags carried by The Empress and her accomplice. Because Gummi's bullet time was not as advanced as the other suspects she was at a serious disadvantage. She could not keep up with the Italiano and lagged behind in a trust with her flag. The darkling's foot stuck out and kick Gummi in the chest, knocking her flat to the ground. "HE HE HE HE." the dark voice giggled, "Now you will see my vengence little bear!" She raised up her half of pepperoni and started to laugh. The pepperoni started it's decent, but the laugh stopped. "HE HE HE HE H.....ACKK!!!........" The expression on the Italiano's face was a one of pain. Gummi soon saw why, sticking thought the darkling's chest was the end of the Empress's gold flag. There was no blood coming from the wound, instead there was an ultraviolet light.

"There I have defeated you...you monster!!!" The Empress said triumphantly and pulled the flag out of the Italiano, who collapsed and hunched over.

The Italiano breathed heavily, "You!....Ack........."

"You what?" The Empress asked, but she did not see that the Italiano was still holding the pepperoni (HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE IT, IT'S A PEPPERONI WITH A LASER SHOOTING OUT IF IT?). With the Italiano's last bit of strenght she plunged her weapon into the Empress. Like the Italiano's wound it did not bleed, yet instead of ultraviolet light a golden light shown. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" cried Gummi. The Empress fell to down next to the body of the Agente Italiano. The two fallen warriors gave their last breaths at the same time and cosmic lightning and solar rays of light roared throughout the universe and began to combine.

***

On the center broken piece of Earth, Qwert and The Agent began their final battle the same time that every one else did. The Agent said, "Come on! Hit me!" Qwert 33 took the opportunity. The Agent barely flinched. "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" the Dark One's laughter roared. He took flight and began his onslaught. With a motion of his hand, lightning struck all around Qwert. Qwert was not hit by any of the bolts of electricity. Qwert decided he better move soon or one might hit him, he took one step forward and....."I wouldn't do that if I were you." said the Agent. He pointed at Qwert and a ring of fire surrounded the hero.

Qwert 33 had enough of this type of punishment and said, "Hey! Are you too chicken to really fight me Agent? Get back down here and lets have a real fight for a change." The Agent thought about this very carefully.....then he made his decision.

"All right, all right. If you are just going to resort to name calling I guess we'll just have to do it your way." stated the Agent. He landed on the ground and all the fire and lightning ceased. Qwert 33 started in his fighting stance, similar to the one used by most ninjas. The Agent did the same, except in his stance, his fingers were bent into a claw. "It begins when I say go."

"No! I want to say 'go'." Qwert protested.

"Okay then you can say 'go'." replied the Agent.

"That's good, no wait it might be a trick you say 'go'." Qwert said.

Agent: "Is that your final answer?" (MORE 'MILLIONAIR' STUFF)

Qwert: "No I want to say 'go' again!" (CHILDISH BICKERING IN THE BATTLE FOR THE UNIVERSE????)

Agent: "Ah the heck with it..............GO!!!!!"

And so the battle was begun. The Agent kicked and missed Qwert by inches. Qwert opened with a super punch and it hit the Agent in the chest. The Agent clawed at Qwert's face. Qwert baked up and observed the damage. There was a small scratch on his cheek. "My face!" he exclaimed. "You scratched up my face." Qwert did his trademark Mortal Kombat move (EXCUSE ME, IF HIS MOVE IS TRADEMARK, THEN WHY IS A MORTAL KOMBAT MOVE???) he arched his hand and shot out a blue fireball. It hit the Agent sending him flying.

The Agent got to his feet and said, "Hey I thought we were going to make this a fair fight without all the special effects? You broke your word so now the deal's off." With this sentence the Agent wrapped his cape around and curled up into a large red egg.

Qwert 33 ran toward the egg and knocked on it with his fist and said, "You get out here now. You can't hide from me in there." He countinued knocking until the eggs top finally opened up in ture 'Alien' form. "Now that's better." Qwert said and looked inside. At first he saw nothing but soon smoke. Then two monsterous hands grabbed Qwert 33 by the head and he was pulled into the egg, which sealed up after he was consumed. (CHEAP SCARE. THAT'S BEEN DONE TOO MUCH EVER SINCE 'CARRIE')

Within the egg Qwert saw nothing but darkness. He took his finger and a lighter flame popped out of it. The flame was a perfect flashlight.

"BOO!" It was the Agent (ANOTHER CHEAP SCARE) Every thing was lit up once the Agent appeared. The inside of the egg appeared bigger than the outside. Qwert saw no use for his finger lighter so he put out the flame.

"Okay." said Qwert "Are we going to fight in here?"

The Agent stared at Qwert and finally said, "I have just called a temporary truce for the moment. I am giving you the chance to ask me anything before we really start the fight. So Qwert 33 are there any other revelations that need to be shown before you. As the Agent I know everything about this event, because I have awaited it for millennia."

Qwert then said, "You did...did you.....hmm...I got just one question to ask you.

"And what is that, my dear Qwert?" replied the Agent.

"Why are we all here fighting this battle?"

The Agent took a deep breath and said, "Very well...your question shall be answered." The Agent pulled a deck of Tarot cards out of his pocket and began to shuffle them.

Qwert 33 had to ask this questions, "Do you know how to use Tarot cards?"

The Agent stopped shuffling, "Who me? No, I don't know. I don't even own a deck. These are on loan from some B horror movie. I have them for effect. Now shut up and listen." He pulled the top card out of the deck and laid it on a table that appeared out of nowhere. (OK?) The card showed a circle in the sky it was 'The Wheel of Fortune'. "You see this card here," began the Agent, "This is the Black Hole. Our place of battle." He pulled out another card and laid to the left of the 'Wheel' Inscribed on it was a man and the words 'The Magician' beneath him. "This represents your's truly." A card was laid to the right of 'The Wheel'. "This here is 'The Chariot' is my greatest enemy. One who is usually victorious.....but not all the time. There are others in this battle too." Two cards were put on the left side of the table. They were two 'court' cards. Then the Agent said this sarcastically, "This is the 'King of Swords'. Who in your little band has many weapons of some sort? And the other is the 'King of Wands', someone who is granted with immense power. These cards are part of the minor 'arcana' and have little impact on the major battles. These two are now locked in battle and shall cancel each other out." Suddenly a card fell out of the deck. It was much smaller than the other cards. Something about this card just wasn't right, it was a Joker from a regular card beck. "Hey, how did this get in here?" said the Agent, "This doesn't belong here. Oh well, I guess we can make this Narf 99 if you want. Now lets get back to the 'real' cards." Two more cards were put on the table. These were placed to the right of the 'Chariot' card. "Now these two cards are far more important than the last two. The one on the top is 'The High Priestess', the feminine version of 'The Magician', she also is 1/2 of the feminine aspect of the 'major arcana'. The other half is shared by the card on the bottom, 'The Empress'. Like the two 'kings' they too are locked in battle. Their role is really different. Neither shall win the battle, but rather they will combine into one force. That force will decide the outcome of the final battle and whole will get to the Oracle of the Turkey. The entrance to the Oracle is here." The Agent laid down 'The Tower' card. Qwert looked at the card carefully. It shown two people falling off the tower and into the abyss (THE UNKNOWN TRAVELER AND 12 GUAGE I PRESUME) and lightning and yellow fame engulfing the tower (THE ITALIANO AND THE EMPRESS). "This is where the final battle between these two forces. The winner will then see the Oracle." He put down the 'Justice', which shown a woman holding a sword above her head and scales in the other, "The Oracle will grant the winner with anything that he wishes. HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Qwert 33 then said, "You are crazy. I never heard such a stupid story in my life! (THAT MAKES TWO OF US) I don't believe a word of it."

The Agent shook his head and said, "Yet you believe everything else that is happening don't you?" The Agent shook his fist to make his point and droped the cards. All but two landed on the ground. The two that landed on the table were the 'Death' and 'The Fool'. The 'Death' card had covered the top of 'The Chariot' card and 'The Fool' landed next to 'The Empress' and just below 'The Chariot'.

"Now what's that supposed to mean all wise and powerful. You just dropped the 'Death' card on top of me!" Qwert said.

"I did not," The Agent said defending himself, "Besides that means nothing. I had already told the fortune. Anyway did I ever say you were 'The Chariot', you could be 'The Fool' even. It just means 'The Chariot' could be taken out of the fight and the 'Fool', whoever he is, will take his place.

"I'm not a fool!" cried Qwert.

The Agent replied I never said you were, but 'The Fool' is one of the most powerful cards in the deck and if those dropped cards mean anything, 'The Fool' will become my greatest foe.

"I guess I could be both?" said Qwert 33.

The Agent just stood silent and then said, "Let the battle begin! HA HA HA HA HA!" The egg crack and exploded into a thousand pieces, and The Agent and Qwert 33 were standing in their usual battle stances. The Agent pulled out his laser pistols and started firing. Qwert evaded the blasts with his bullet time. The Agent growled furiously and tried a new method. He decided the only way to beat Qwert's agility was to confuse him. He stretched his hands out in front of him and about ten chains with hooks on them formed out of his body. Controlling them with his mind he thrust them toward Qwert. The hero ran left and right, but every where he turned there was one of the Agent's chains. Finally, one of them caught him by his leg. The Agent started reeling him in. Then Qwert 33 thought of something. He remembered his finger lighter. He snapped his fingers a small flame shown its light. He thought to himself, 'this will never work....ah ha I know what I'll do'. He concentrated really hard on the flame and then suddenly the flame turned into the flame of a welding torch. With it he cut the chains around his leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the Agent in pain. The chains retracted into his body, the place where they retracted into left gashes on the Agent. Like the Agente Italiano, there was no blood, but a dark light shown from them. The Agent hunched over. Qwert 33 looked at the cut chains on the ground. They started evaporating into nothing, but Qwert picked one up before it could disappear and took control of it. He ran towards the disabled Agent and used the chain, with a hook on the end, as a wip.

Qwert 33 spoke as he attacked, "How does it feel to have your own powers used against you?" The chain came down and slashed the Agent's chest, leaving a long illuminated wound.

"AAHHHHHH!!" Agent yelled, "Stop!!! I hurts!!!" Qwert swung the chain again and it struck the Agent's knee. The Agent collapsed.

"Now I shall finish you off. For Good!!!" Qwert 33 said as he raised the chain for one last fatal blow.

The Agent raised his hand and stopped the chain's progress with his magnetism. Qwert was stopped in the middle of the motion. The Agent started to feel his powers drain. He could not stop Qwert's attack that was now coming in slow motion. "You can never defeat...."

"Shut up and let me finish you off!" Qwert cut-off the Agent.

The Agent strength began to fail he said weakly, "It isn't......over...yet!......" (WHAT A WASTE OF THE AGENT'S LAST WORDS) The last of the Agent's power faded and Qwert 33's chain fell toward the Dark One.

Morendo
A Sudden Change in Events

(YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T THE END???)

As the chain was going down Qwert 33 suddenly heard an ungodly sound. He stopped his attack and looked to were the sound had come from. He saw 12 Gauge cut off the The Unknown Traveler's head (DIDN'T THIS ALREADY HAPPEN??) He looked in the other direction and saw The Agente Italiano impaled on The Empress's flag. (OH YEAH, EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME.) Then he saw the Italiano turn and plunge he pepperion into The Empress. Gummi said, "NOOOOOOOOO!" Then Qwert looked back towards the other battle and saw 12 Gauge and The Traveler falling into the Black Hole of the Internet. When the two disappeared into the hole, something came out of it. It was some sort of dark energy. It had to be the life force of the Unknown Traveler. The energy went directly to were the Agent was laying, and entered the fallen nemesis. The wounds on the Agent began to seal back up as if they never happened. The Dark One rose to his feet. Qwert was about to strike with the chain, but the Agent caught his hand.

"HA HA HA HA HA!!!" The Agent laughed, but there was something different about the voice. It was deeper than usual. "I don't think you'll be needing that." He grabbed the chain and it disappeared into his hand.

"What are you going to do?" asked Qwert 33.

The Agent just stood there and laughed. Then the lightning and solar flares mingling in the space began to merge with the bodies of The Agente Italiano and The Empress. Soon they could not be seen, at the same time, The Agent grabbed Qwert by the shoulders and fire started to surround him. Qwert 33 tried to wriggle free, but couldn't. The Agent was using the the Unknown Traveler's fire teleport. The Agent continued laughing as he disappeared leaving destrution in his wake. Qwert 33 was blasted back fifty feet. The Agent appeared where he landed. Qwert hurrily got back up and planned to shoot a fireball back at the Agent, but no fireball came. Qwert said, "What did you do to me?"

"I have done nothing!!!" replied the Agent, "I did not make that happen it was their decision."

"Who is 'their'?" asked Qwert.

"That is 'their'" (THESE SENTECES ARE TOO CONFUSING), said The Agent. He pointed to where The Agente Italaino and The Empress had stood, but they were not there. In their place was the form of a woman. The figure stepped into the light and revealed itself. It wore a red rode outlined in gold. The face of the woman was half the face of the Empress and half the face of the Italiano.

"We are Judgement," it said in a double voice, "We control all aspects of this battle, and we are the key to the Oracle of the Turkey"

The Agent then said, "To explain what they are, they are what the Empress used to be before she gave up half her powers. I couldn't have it that way if I was to get to the Oracle. Like they said, they are the 'key'. So I had the Italiano and The Empress come here so they could rejoin in this entity."

In reply to this Qwert said, "Very well. The Chariot has finally fallen. Now let me inherit the power of the Fool."

The Agent found this statement funny (ME TOO), "HA HA HA HA HA!!! You are a fool Qwert, but not 'The Fool'. The story on this is that like the Traveler and 12 Gauge you really serve no purpose in this battle. I, The Agent, am a being of the 'not so good'. Actually the 'not so good' resides in me. That is why I take part in the final battle. You on the other hand are a being of the 'good', but actual force of the 'good' does not reside in you."

Qwert 33 said, "How can this be true? I have always been your main opponent in all of the battles. Why have you been fighting me when you should have been fighting this 'Fool'? And by the way who is he?

"This was all a matter of misidentification." continued The Dark One, "The force of the 'not so good' had to find a form in order to fight the 'good'. It bounded with the mortal known as TheAdvisor and created The Agent. The Advisor's main enemy was you, so when The Agent was formed there was a conflicting of ideas. The Advisor's goal was to destroy Qwert 33, a being of 'good'. While the 'not so good', was to destroy the 'good', who was nameless at the time. So when the Advisor and the 'not so good' formed into one, the objective went into the Advisor's favor." (THAT IS THE MOST COMPLICATED ORIGIN STORY I EVER HEARD.) "And the 'Fool' you speak of.....'she' is over there." He pointed at Gummibear (NO DUH! SHE THE ONLY PERSON LEFT IN THIS STORY!!!)

"HOW!!!!" revolted Qwert, "She's one of the 'lesser' Usual Suspects. She's not even that powerful."

"Not powerful??" questioned the Agent, "She practically indestructible, for crying out loud!!! You may be powerful Qwert 33, but not that powerful. So in compliance with the Empress Italiano, you shall be banished to the dimension that you came from." Qwert 33 got a sick feeling in his stomach, and fear covered him. The Agent used the powers he aquired from the Traveler to open up a portal. "HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" laughed The Agent, "Now I will be finally rid of you. Goodbye Qwert 33, it's been a pleasure defeating you. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Qwert 33 began to be sucked into the portal, "NOOO!!! This isn't how it's supposed to be!!! Gummi help me!!"

Gummibear grabbed Qwert's hand and said, "You can't leave me here. I can't defeat him alone......oh no my grip is slipping! I can't hold on to you much longer without going in!"

Qwert thought fast and said the Gummi, "You will not be alone in this battle." With these words, Gummibear felt Qwert 33's powers seep into her body. The Agent saw what was happening and ran toward the last two Suspects.

"Oh no you don't!" he pushed Gummibear out of the way and he grabbed Qwert 33 and held him up to his face, "No more of your intervention Qwert. Your time here is finished. Your fued with The Advisor is through. Have fun in the next dimension, remember to send me a post card. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" the Dark One let go of Qwert 33, and the hero vanished into the portal. The portal disappeared. Qwert 33, the great hero was forever sealed in some diemension, never to be seen again.

Crescendo Fortissimo
Climactic Battle 5

(YOU MEAN THAT STILL WASN'T THE END???)

The Agent turned toward Gummibear, "Are you ready little bear?"

"As ready as I'll every be!!!" Gummi shruged.

The Agent looked at the Empress Italiano. The entity then said, The Oracle of the Turkey awaits. Let the battle begin."

Gummi jumped to attack but it seem her feet were stuck to the ground she could not move. "Why can't I move?" asked Gummi.

The Agent rolled his eyes, "Don't you know anything, the final battle cannot being until the contenders choose their weapons. Everybody knows that."(I KNOW I DID.) The Agent then said, "Choose your weapon." Both warriors lifted their hands in the air. Lightning struck all around the last bit of the planet Earth. In Gummi's hand, the silver energy flag appeared. In the Agent's hand, a long black battle axe.

The two got into there battle positions and stared at each other. Then suddenly the Agent stuck out with a fast attack. Gummi met the attack with a block with her flag. She spun around and then thrusted the flag forward. The Agent dodged it easily and axed the weapon down. Gummi reeled back and swung the flag again. It too was brought down with the Agent's axed. Gummi's flag was much lighter tham the Agent's axe and was good for dishing out attacks. Nevertheless, the Agent's axe was good for defense, because of the size of it's blade. Sparks flew as the two weapons met during each attack. The Agent jumped in the air and stuck the flag with amazing force causing Gummi to lose her balance. Then he kicked her and she fell. The Agent laughed, "HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Then he pulled out his laser pistol and fired at Gummi. The shot hit her, but it rebounded back at the Agent, hitting him. The Agent stumbled backwards some. "Oh yeah, I forgot I can't fight you this way. Well I guess these are just dead weight" He threw the pistols aside. He brought up the axe again the slash at Gummibear, but she had already risen.

Gummi swung one of her hands around and used Qwert's fireball attack. It struck the Agent and he fell to the ground. "Take that Dark One." yelled Gummi triumphantly. Then Gummi bounced on the ground like a rubber ball and started toward the dazed Agent. The Agent got to his feet and saw what Gummi was trying to do. He used his flying powers to lift himself off the ground. Gummi expected the predictable Agent might try this, so with a great amount of force, she bonced up toward the Agent. When airborne she brought her flag around, and into the chest of the Agent.

The Agent fell back down. There was one of those eerie slashed across his chest. "Can't take the heat can yah!" said Gummi.

The Agent was furious, he got back up and clenched his fist. The wound sealed back up instantly. "Now I'm really mad." said the Agent. As if to make a point he hit the ground. (YOU'RE GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM IN THE BATTLE OF THE UNIVERSE???) As his fist met the earth, the ground began to quake. Gummibear lost her balance and was knocked to her feet. She looked up and saw the Agent. There was electricity swirling all around him. She could barely my out his figure in all the sparks. Then she saw something change in the figure. I limbs seemed to grow bigger and more metallic. The head also became more monsterous looking. Horns seem to spread across the figure too. Then the electricity stopped. The smoke cleared and revealed what once was the Agent.

The body of the creature was all metal. (THIS IS SO JAPANIMATION) Gummi thought for a moment and said, "Are you in there Agent?"

The Agent answered, "Yes I am. You won't stand a chance against me now. HA HA HA!"

Then Gummi said, "Okay. Two can play it at this game." She spun her flag around, and then suddenly her uniform was transformed into a gold armor. Then, the two engaged in battle. The Agent shot red lasers from his eyes. Gummi rolled on the ground to dodge them, and then she swung her flag and slashed the Agent's legs. This did little damage, because the armor on the nemesis was so tough. The Agent swung his axe at Gummibear, but she moved out of the way just before the axe would have cut off her head. She stood back up and delt another non-damaging blow to the Agent. The monterous Agent turned slowly around and fired another shot from his eyes. Gummi did a back flip to avoid the blast. Gummi thought that this method of battle was getting a little monotonous (FINALLY SOMEONE THINKS THE SAME WAY I DO!) so she did a lightning fast kick. Her foot hit the Agent's head. The blow was so hard in fact, it blew off the Agent's metallic head. Gummi said, "Yes!!!" The smoke cleared around the Agent's neck, thus revealing the Agent's regular head and face.

"Why you little ingrate. I will crush you for that!" yelled the angered Agent. He brought the battle axe over his head to strike Gummibear down, but before he could do that she pulled something out of her belt. It was a CD. She threw it and it stuck in the Agent's cheek. "Argg!" yelled the Agent. He pulled the disc out of his face. It was just a small cut, but a black ooze was coming out of it. He looked at the label on the CD and said, "No!" I was the latest version of Norton Antivirus! Then the rest of his armor fell off like plastic and the Agnet was back in his regular uniform. The Agent then said, "I'm now doomed because of you!!! This new version won't even leave a pile of dust behind so I can reform!!!" He slapped Gummi to the ground, "Nevertheless, I have grown so powerful that it will take longer for it to take effect and finally destroy me. I say I have about ten minutes left. So I guess my only hope is to get to the Oracle. To do that I must destroy you very quickly, HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

The Agent was on the brink of madness, (SO YOU'RE SAYING HE WAS SANE THE REST OF THE TIME???) and Gummibear knew their was nothing more dangerous than an injured animal. The Agent continued, "As you see I'm a little pressed for time, so I'm going even out the score." He swung the axe around with unbelievable force and it cut Gummi's flag in two, and the axe blade shattered like glass, revealing a syringe with an bright orange goo in it. The Agent then jabbed Gummi with it. The small needle pierced right through her armor and injected the goo. Gummi felt a burning sensation go through her veins.

"What did you do to me?" she asked.

The Agent replied, "Just injected a 'heat serum' into your body. It will break down those Gummi cells inside you and you will eventually melt. HA HA HA!!! I don't know how long you will last, but I hope it isn't any longer than ten mintues for my sake." Gummi was enraged she ran toward the and hit him sending him back. He regained his footing and began to fly. He pointed his left hand to shoot eletricty at Gummi. lightning swirled around his arm as usual, but the lightning did not shoot out. Instead it exploded half of the Agent's arm. Black ooze flew everywhere. The Norton Antivirus was taking effect. "AHHHH!!!" the Dark One screamed and he crashed to the ground. He stood back up and began to run toward Gummi. She decided to kick the Agent's legs, so she did it. Her leg met it's taget, and the Agent's legs broke off. The two limbs evaported into the black ooze like his arm. Then Gummi fell, she noticed when she kicked the Agent's legs, her own stretched out an extra two feet like a tried piece of rubber. She pulled her now uslessly long leg back to her. She tried to stand on the other, but it was no use. I could not support her 65 pound body. (WHOA SHE IS SKINNY!) She looked to her left and saw the one armed no legged Agent. He was crawling toward her at an alarming rate. She had to get away, so she started crawling herself. She dragged herself as fast as she could, but the Agent grabbed her five-foot long leg. He stretched it another foot before he could really get ahold of her.

He climbed over her so he could see her face-to-face. "I think I have won." The Agent said in a voice that was gargled up so bad it no longer sounded like him. "Now I will finish you!!!!" The Agent's left eye turned red as if to shot a laser, but like his arm it short circuited and the eye was lost in a mass of that black goo. "AHHHH!" screamed the Agent. Gummi saw this as her chance. She punched the Agent wounded eye. "AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed again. She pulled her hand out of the socket and saw that she cleared away most of the goo. Inside the socket there was nothing but televison static. She raise her arm again to punch Agent, but it suddenly went limp. All her muscles were usless. She could do nothing. Her body turned into a see-through mass, like a Gummibear, and then she melted beneath what was left of the Agent. The only sound that was made was a 'hisssssssss' and Gummibear, the last of the Usual Suspect, and guardian of the 'good'........ was no more.

D.S. al Fine

It still was the end. (PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!) The Agent, or what was left of him, was laughing softly, "ha ha ha...." He had lost most of his mind but he had won the battle. He heard footsteps coming close to him. He said to himself, "Whoever it is I will fight them. I must make it to the Oracle. Nothing can stand in my way...."

He saw source the footsteps coming to him in a blurred image. Finally the image came into focus. It was the two faced figure of the Empress Italiano. The entity said, "We have made our decision! The winner of the battle for the universe is the 'not so good' being The Dark Agent of the Black Hole Known As the Internet. You have been granted permission to see the Oracle of the Turkey. Do you accept?"

With the last bit of strength in him the Agent said, "Yesssssssssssss......"

"Then so be it!!!!!!" said the Empress Italiano. The entity then disappeared in a wave of lightning and fire. The Black Hole of the Internet began to grow larger and swirl around faster. The last bit of Earth began to break away into the vortex. Then the Agent fell in himself.

With in hole there was a black that it was nothing. Then the darkness was filled with a wormhole. The Agent felt his body speeding through galaxies, dimensions, and other celestial bodies. This continued for a thousand years. By then the Agent was no longer the Agent, but a dark mass of energy. (BOY THIS ORACLE CHICK IS FAR AWAY) Finally the darkness of the wormhole lifted and there was soild white light every where. The Agent landed on nothing. The dark mass fromed into a humaniod form and began to walk. Then there was a speck in the light. As the Agent walked closer to the speck it grew larger. Then her finally saw what it was. It was a girl sitting Indian style on a throne of trukey feathers. The girl said, "I am the Oracle of the Turkey."

The Agent said, "I am the..."

"I know who you are Agent," interrupted the Oracle, "Since you have won the battle, what do you wish for?"

The Agent thought and stood silent.

The Oracle contined, "I guess you want the usual, fill the universe with darkness and all that sort of stuff right?"

"Oh no." said the Agent, "That wouldn't be any fun. I guess I want everything the same as it was......almost. The Suspects shall retain their powers, but they will forget how to use them and each other. I want my old job as tycoon back, and I will be the only one who knows what happened here."

"Is that all?" said the Oracle.

"No. I would also like a plaque." requested the Agent.

"A plaque???" ask the now confused Oracle of the Turkey.

To Continue the Story