Chapter 33

“Howie you are scaring me.  What’s wrong?” Nick asked as fear filled his eyes.  He had never seen Howie so upset, and now knowing that it had to do with Kat only made it worse.

“She had a follow-up appointment with her doctor today, and he gave her some bad news.” He said as he sat down next to Nick.

“What kind of doctor did she see, and what did he say?  Trust me Howie, she will be okay.” Nick offered.

“She saw her OBGYN for a normal check-up and he told her that several of her tests came back with bad results.” He said quietly.

“And, what kind of tests were they?  Were they cancer tests?” Nick said, silent memories coming to mind.

“Yeah, and it turns out that she has pre-cancerous cells in her uterus.” Howie said, afraid of the words.

“Well, look, that can be taken care of.  At least it isn’t full blown cancer.  That would be far worse.” Nick said, trying to find a bright side to the whole issue.

“Yeah, but because of this, her doctor is recommending a hysterectomy.  And you know what that means?” Howie asked.

“Yes, that she will never be able to have children.” Nick said solemnly.  “So, I can see how you are taking it, but how is she holding up?”

“She’s a wreck Nick.  That is why I am a wreck.  I hate to see her so upset about this.  I know that the surgery is no big deal, but, the results are.” Howie said, trying to keep calm.

“Yes, but Howie…she is going to be okay.  Have faith that God is going to take care of her.   And just think, there are other options when it comes to children.  You can adopt one if you want to.  Trust me, there are a lot of little children that need wonderful homes.  And you and Kat are will be the perfect parents.  I have faith.” Nick said as he put his hand on Howie’s shoulder.

Howie stood there, wondering when Nick had become the stronghold in the group.  It was amazing how Nick was the youngest of all of them, but seemed to be the most mature about things.  Never did Howie ever think he would be asking Nick for advice, or, actually taking his advice.

“Nick, can I ask something?” Howie asked curiously.

“Sure.”

“Why were YOU up here?  Did you have a fight with Liz?”

“No, but I needed to think.  She asked me something this afternoon that worries me.  I think I am asking too much of her.” Nick admitted.

“And what is that?”

“I have been asking more and more questions about Heather.  I don’t know why it is, but I can’t get Heather out of my mind.  Six months ago I was angry at her for dying, and wanted to just get rid of her in my mind and heart.  I don’t know what has gotten into me.” Nick confessed.

“And so now you feel like you are taking advantage of Liz?” Howie asked.

“Not so much taking advantage of her, but causing her confusion.  She knows I love her, but I can’t offer he what I offered Heather.  Howie, Liz is a lot like Heather, but she NOT Heather.  Do you how bad I really miss her?  Part of my soul left me when Heather died…and there is nothing that will ever replace her.” Nick said as he looked thoughtfully at Howie.

“Look Nick, I know it seems like things got so bad a year ago that you didn’t think any of us understood.  Trust me, I never left being there for you.  I understand exactly how you feel. Granted, I have never been married, and I know that the love I had for my sister is far different from the love you had for Heather, but losing someone so close to you is horrible.  It felt like my world was crumbling around me, yet I had to stay strong for my family.  They needed me, and I never got the time to let it out and deal with Caroline’s death.” Howie said as he looked up towards the sky.

“You know Howie…sometimes I wonder where all of us are heading….” Nick said as his voiced trailed off.

“Nick?  What do you mean?” Howie said as they sat there quietly, watching the sunset.

***

“Kat, are you gonna be okay sweetie?” Leighanne asked as she hugged her friend.

“Yeah, but I feel like I am disappointing Howie.  He just asked me to marry him, and now I can’t give him the one thing he wants so badly in his life.” She said as tears gently fell down her cheeks.

“Katrina, now you listen to me.  Howie loves you…and he always will.  You are such a sweet woman, and he loves you no matter what.  Don’t you even think for a minute that Howie is gonna stop loving you.” Liz said, trying to cheer her up.

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” She smiled.

“Trust me…when I am right, I am right.” Liz laughed, lightening up the mood in the room.

Kat smiled softly, and then looked at Liz.  “Well, at least you know where you stand with Nick.  He loves you, you love him, and Katie is so happy because you two are together.  I hope that I can be that happy with Howie.”

“Look girls, I wouldn’t say that things are all peachy with me and Nick.  Things aren’t what they always seem.  But, trust me, Kat, you are gonna be so happy with Howie and things are going to be wonderful for you two.”  Liz replied, looking away.

“Liz, what do you mean, things aren’t always what they seem?  Is something wrong between you and Nick?” Leighanne asked, concerned for her friend.

“Let me put it this way, the past is coming back to haunt both of us.” She said leaving the room, as Howie and Nick came to the door.
 
 

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