Chapter 32

Two weeks had gone by, and everything was playing out as normal.  Nick and Liz continued their daily talks about the past, and the other guys seemed hard at work on their normal routines.  AJ was trying his hardest to find a special someone, mainly because he felt like the third wheel everywhere he went.

The night of their final concert of this leg of the tour, everyone was spending some quality time in their hotel rooms relaxing.  It would be an evening to celebrate and an evening to remember.  After this, they had about a month off, before returning to the road.  Everyone was relieved to have some much needed time off.  But in all, they were grateful for everything they had.

***

Early that afternoon, Nick was playing his beloved Playstation, while Liz spent her time reading.  Katie had been put down for a nap, knowing that she would be cranky at the after-show party.  They sat there in their own little worlds, enjoying the moment, when Liz struck up the conversation.

“Nick, can I ask you something sweetheart?” Liz said as she looked up from the book she was reading.

“Sure hon, what’s up?”

“You don’t have to answer, but, I am just curious.” She said thoughtfully.

Nick was puzzled.  The tone in her voice almost sounded nervous, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. He immediately turned off the game he was playing and turned to look at her.  “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that I was wondering what brought on all this urgency to learn so much about Heather.  Six months ago, you would’ve done everything in your power to put her at the back of your mind.  And now, it seems all you think about.” She said, hoping it would not upset him.

He looked at her from across the room, warm tears in his eyes.  She hadn’t seen that kind of reaction out of him in a long time.  It almost scared her to hear how he would answer, but she had to know.   She had made a promise to protect Nick, and be there for him.  However, now that they were so close, and involved romantically with each other, she almost feared that he may be trying to slip away from her.

“Oh sweetheart, I am sorry.  Look, I think we need to talk.” He said softly.

She moved across the room to sit down next to him.  “Yes, we do.”

He looked deeply into her eyes, searching for that “something” that he needed to know that everything would be alright.  Heather had always said that Liz was her twin.  If that was true, then that same sparkle in Liz’s eyes would be his answer.   “Liz, you know I love you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, two and a half years ago, there was a beautiful lady that entered my life unexpectedly.  She was the moon, the stars, and everything in between.” He said as more tears filled his eyes.

Liz just watched him as he drifted off into memories that seemed to have been hiding for a very long time.

“And, I fell very hard for her.  As silly as it seemed, it was love at first sight.  She was my soul mate, the one who actually understood me.  But, she had so many secrets, so many barriers I couldn’t seem to break.  Finally, we made that connection, but only after life threw us for some serious loops.  Fate knew what she wanted, but it seemed like everything stood in the way.”

“Yes, I know.”

“It seemed as if life was playing a cruel joke on us.  Heather was tormented by her past and the things she had done.  You remember many of those things.  Life was cruel to her, and all I wanted was to take away all her pain and her hurt.  In less than a year, I saw her go through more pain than most could ever imagine.  She gave up everything she had to fulfill our dreams.  And never once, did she give up.  At least her spirit never gave up.” He said with tears now fully streaming down his face.

“Nick, look, if this hurts too much, you don’t need to tell me.”

“Yes, I do.  Because you have the right to know.  When Heather died, everything that I was, slipped away.  I became a lost soul, searching for something that wasn’t there.  Heather was everything to me.  We promised that we would always be there for each other, no matter what.  We promised that no matter how hard things got, we would support each other.  And in the end, we promised that we would always be in each other’s hearts.  Forever.”

Liz hugged Nick, knowing that no matter what she did, or how hard she tried, there would always be that little bit a life she could never have with him.  Yes, they both loved each other very much, and cared for each other, but the feeling he shared with Heather, could never be matched.  He lost his soul mate, and with that, a little bit of his spirit went with her.  That was something that Liz had come to understand and accept.

“I never was able to see her past.  I only knew what I had in front of me.  I never had the time to learn everything about her.  It takes an entire lifetime to learn everything, but I only had 11 months.  You are my only guide to the past, and the only key to unlock all the secrets she hid.  That is why I ask you so much.  You knew her, you grew up with her.  I want my daughter and I to know everything there is to know.  I know, deep within my heart, that she is watching us, and is protecting the three of us.  I just wish I was able to have done the same for her when she was here.  God, I would have done anything to have traded places with her.” He said wiping his tear-stained face.

Liz knew at that moment that she had to make sure that Heather’s life would be known.  Although she and Nick would never share what he had with Heather, she was grateful to be with him.  He had a spirit that just glowed, and a heart that never ceased.  She just hoped that she would be able to do justice and fulfill Nick’s requests.  It was the love for him that kept her going, knowing that whatever made him happy, made her happy too.

Nick’s eyes were red and puffy, something that he desperately needed to hide.  He never wanted to let his guard down, especially in front of the guys.  He had put them through enough hell over the past year, and he refused to do that to them again.

“Liz, I think I am gonna go for a walk, I will be back in a bit.” He said softly as he kissed her and silently left the room.

She was used to this, it was his only escape.  He used to be able to run to Brian or Kevin for advice, but this time, he needed to be alone.  With a watchful eye, he took the elevator to the roof of the hotel where he could find some space and quiet time.  The weather was nice, and with it being so close to the ocean, the serene beauty of his surroundings calmed him.

After about an hour, he heard footsteps come up beside him.  He knew that someone would eventually find him, but he was shocked when he looked up to see brown eyes staring back at him.  However, those eyes were just as swollen and red as his had been earlier, and this greatly concerned him.

“Nick, can we talk?” the man said.

“Sure Howie, what’s on your mind?” he replied, wanting to help his friend.

“I got some bad news?” Howie said almost incoherently.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Katrina…” he said softly, as his eyes filled with tears.

“Is she okay Howie?” Nick asked, his voice full of concern now.

“No.” Howie answered.  “She isn’t.”
 

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