Chapter 17

“My God, what have I done?” Liz cried.

Everyone looked at her, not understanding a word she uttered.

“I have destroyed him…I…” she said, running from the room.  Howie and AJ ran off after her, afraid of what she may do.

Brian leaned down next to Nick, who continued to stare off into his own little world, one that was beyond the others understanding.   “Hey, buddy, it’s me, Brian.  Talk to me dude.  Come on, snap outta it.”

There continued to be no response from Nick, which now was concerning them.  “What do you think happened?” Kevin asked, holding Dee tightly.

“The only one that knows is Liz…and well, she, umm, left…” Kat said, looking sad.

“Dada…dada…no cry…no cry.” they heard sobbing.

Dee suddenly turned in the direction of the little voice and noticed Katie sitting in the far corner, curled up into a little ball.  She looked frightened and shaken up.

“Oh Little Bits…come here honey.” she ran over and picked her up.  The little girl was crying her eyes out…reaching for Nick desperately.

“Dada is sick right now honey, you just come with me and your aunties and we will take care of you.” she offered, carrying the young child down to her room.  Brianna, Kat and Leighanne followed, looks of concern across their face.

Kevin and Brian tried desperately to get Nick to snap out of it, knowing full well this was the worst they had seen from him.  Nick never had the proper breakdown after Heather’s death, and they knew he would snap eventually.  However, they had hoped that his little “run away” attempt was the final draw, but now they new it was only the beginning of a very long road.

“Come on Frack, wake up.  There are a lot of people who are very worried about you.  Please, just talk to us.” Brian begged.

Suddenly Liz appeared at the door.  “Nick, honey, please wake up.  I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  And neither did she.” she kept saying over and over.

Brian and AJ glanced at each other, unsure of what she meant.  Kevin and Howie went to call for a doctor.

Liz quickly knelt down beside Nick.  His hands were like blocks of ice.  His body shivered from head to toe.  And his eyes…the ocean blue color faded, and a dark gray color taking over.

“Nick, she loved you…she promised she always would.  She didn’t want you to hurt like this.  If you only know how bad she wanted to live, to keep you from pain.  Nick…she is gone…but she never left you…she is in your heart.” Liz whispered.

With that, she saw tears forming in his eyes.  “I know you can hear me…just talk to me.  You aren’t alone.  There a four guys in here that love you like their brother, and you are scaring them.  Please snap out of this and show them you are okay.  Please, Nick.  If you can’t do it for them or me, do it for Kathryn.  She is scared and thinks her daddy is hurt.  Please wake up for her.” she pled with him, hoping to make some progress.

When nothing worked, she went into the other room, and pulled out a cd from her bag.  She knew that it was something that would work.  “Guys, I need a cd player…like a boom box, do we have one?” she asked, optimistic it would work.

“What are you doing?” Kevin asked, but soon realized the plan as he looked at the cd.

Brian scrambled down to his room, retrieving the portable stereo Leighanne carried with her.  “Here, this will work.”

*** *** ***

“My God, what in the world happened just a few minutes ago.  This morning Nick was angry, but seemed like his normal self.” Dee said.

“You don’t think he tried to kill himself do you?” Kat asked, scared.

“No, Liz didn’t act like she found him like that.  It sounds more like he had a bad dream, the way I saw AJ trying to wake him.” Brianna offered.

“Well, I thought we got past that a while ago.  Something must have set him off.  He has been doing so well.  I can’t imagine what it could be though.” Leighanne said, rubbing her eyes.

The four of them sat there, taking turns holding Kathryn.  They felt so bad for her, being so young and seeing such a frightful event.  “dada…dada…dada…” she said, never stopping.

*** *** ***

“Just play the damn cd.  Once he hears it…he will be okay.  It is the only thing that has kept him sane the past few months.  You guys have no idea how many times he will listen to it…night and day…day and night.” she said.

The five of them stood back, and listened quietly, hoping for some response from Nick.

“Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
And hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don’t you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can’t be broken
I will be here
Don’t you cry

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart
Yes, you’ll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You’ll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You’ll be in my heart, always

Why can’t they understand
the way we feel
They just don’t trust
what they can’t explain
I know we’re different but,
deep inside us
We’re not that different at all

And you’ll be in my heart
Yes, you’ll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more.

Don’t listen to them
‘Cause what do they know
We need each other
to have to hold
They’ll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you have to hold on
They’ll see in time
I know
We’ll show them together

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart
Believe me, you’ll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more…

Oh you’ll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You’ll be in my heart, always
Always.

When the song finished, they looked over at Nick, whose eyes were blinking from the salty tears.  “You’ll be in my heart.” he softly whispered.  “that was her favorite song.”

“Nick!  Oh thank God you’re back.  What in the world is going on?” Brian asked as he sat down next to Nick.

“Just go away…please.  I just want everyone to leave.” Nick said sadly.

“No, we are not leaving til we get an explanation.” Brian insisted.

“Get the hell out! I don’t need you all, I don’t need anyone!  Get out, NOW!” he yelled and then walked to the bedroom and locked the door behind him.

Everyone stood there, stunned by Nick’s actions.  AJ finally turned towards Liz and said, “Okay, spill.”
 

Back to Previous Chapter        Back To Chapter Index         On To Next Chapter