maybe i over did the introduction, but i have decided that it is time for something completely differet. So im going to write a story, it may not be a very good story, but that doesnt matter much. any way on to the story.
A chill wind blew small bits of news paper and trash across the dark alleyway. Small night creatures ran for their hiding places as a figure approached the far end of the alley. The figure's face was unseen, he was wearing an expensive black suit, and there was something about him. The kind of feeling that makes small children fear the night. A darkness covered him, light itself seems to bend to avoid him. The night creatures continued to run, they could smell the evil surrounding him. The figure was the unmistakeable form of, The Dark Agent.
As he walked silently toward the exit of the dark passageway, the agent stopped suddenly, he felt a presence. He felt that something was watching him, but it was not fearing what it saw. While he was trying to pinpoint this presence, another dark figure appeared. The new form was dark, but lacked the evil that surrounded the other. This new figure had jumped down from the fire escape above. He was slightly taller than the dark agent, and was wearing a black trench coat and designer sunglasses. Under his coat, many weapons could be heard clincking together. As the trench coat wearing figure stood up, the agent stepped back, instantly recognizing the form. It was his greatest foe, the single being that could thwart his evil plans, it was, Qwert33.
The agent regained his composure, and stated in his menacing voice "Mr. Anderson". Qwert looked at him with a puzzled face. The agent, frustrated, said "Oh, never mind". Then the agent said, regaining his menacingness "This is the last time you will stand in my way". Qwert countered, "This is the last time you will endanger the people of the internet"
Then, without warning, the Agent reached ito his coat and pulled out his sidearm. He immediately started firing, but Qwert had already jumped into bullet-time and moving out of the bullets' paths with ease. Qwert then unholstered two of his own pistols. He fired in quick succession until the magazines were depleted. The agent then gyrated violently from the waist up. When he was finished he looked at qwert and said "You're empty". "Wow you're very observant, what would i do if you weren't here to tell me these things" said qwert sarcasticlly.
Qwert, slightly agitated, said "Ok, you wanna quote movies, here's one for you". Qwert revealed a grenade launcher from under his coat, he fired three times at the agent. "Dodge this" He yelled mockingly.The explosion knocked qwert off his feet, and he was showered with debris. A large section of the wall to his right caved in. When the explosion had died down he picked himself up off the ground. He found his rather expensive sunglassed, and then discarded them, being that the left lens was newly cracked. Then he saw the outline in the smoke. The smoke suddenly blew away and there was standing the dark agent, his suit charred and himself very angry.
The Agent, haveing a bad day, realized that it was time to get rid of his enemy. "I'm going to get rid of you" yelled the agent. He continued "If you want to play with fire, you should do it right". At that he performed a motion that looked as though it came straight out of mortal kombat. A ball of fire appeared in his hands, and he threw it at the unsuspecting qwert. The fireball hit qwert square in the chest and threw him through a wall across the street. The agent, pleased with himself, walked across the street to inspect his work. As he walked up to the newly destroyed wall, he noticed that qwert's body was nowhere to be seen. He walked closer to a pile of bricks that used to be a wall. Before he could react a hand shot out from under the bricks and grabbed his ankle. qwert stood up from under the bricks, his face a bit scratched, and a charred hole in the front of his shirt. As he stood he picked the ankle up with him, which inturn picked the agent up right off his feet. Then, not knowing what to do with his newest catch , he threw it back. He wasn't thrown very far, in fact the agent was quite lucky that the windsheild in the car he landed on gave way and broke his fall. The agent, haveing a new idea, turned around and picked up the car he had landed on. He heaved it up over his head, and threw it at qwert. Qwert jumped into bullet-time once again and dodged the car. He then picked up another car, and returned it to the agent. Then he stopped and thought. He waited until the agent was done dodgeing his car, then he yelled "Hey don't you think this is kinda stupid, i mean jeez, we're throwing cars at each other." The agent thought this over, he finnally looked back at qwert and said "I see your point". With that the agent launched himself at qwert, connecting his left foot to Qwert's jaw. Unhappy with this response, qwert charged the agent, his hands and feet were blurs as they made contact with the agent. The agent, at first stunned, finnally began to block some of the hits. Qwert finished his attack by connecting his right foot to the agent's jaw. The agent fell to the ground. Then, to his amusement, qwert saw a trickle of blood run from the agent's lower lip. At this point, the agent decided that he was tired of being the loser. Just because all the other Arch-nemesises in the world had to lose, it didnt mean he had to. It was time to give Mr.33 a beating he wouldn't soon forget. It was time to call in reenforcements
The agent hightlighted himself, and typed Ctrl-V a couple of times. Suddenly two more agents appeared, infact they were both exact copies of the dark agent. one of them gave the original agent another clip for his gun, then the three raised their sidearms in unison and took aim at their foe.
Qwert reached under his coat and revealed an automatic assualt rifle. He quickly sprayed bullets in the general direction of the agents. The three gyrated in unison to dodge the bullets. while they were busy, qwert ran, he had to do something, anything to get an advantage. Then he remembered his complement of weapons under his trenchcoat. he stopped running and turned to face the agents. At this range it would be easier to dodge. The agents fired, to qwerts surprise, many of the shots were wild and strayed from their target, but enough were still ontarget that Qwert had a hard time dodgeing them, even in bullet-time. The very last round fired knicked his lower leg, penetrateing the edge of his boot, his pants, and many layers of flesh. Pain surged straight from his leg to his head, but there was no time to think of that now. He still had to act quickly to even up the odds. He once again reached beneath his coat and pulled out a combat shotgun. He fired on the agents, and did not stop. The agents had trouble dodgeing all of the shot. They began to be hit so they, gyrated faster, and faster. Until qwert finally got what he expected. The agent, the 2nd copy, began to flicker, then his face flushed, and finnaly this entire body and suit turned bright blue. For an agent, there was no recovering from a windows blue screen error. Qwert stopped firing and ducked for cover again. The original agent turned to look at his copy, then , out of sympathy, he shot the blue form. the blue silloette fell to the ground and faded away. The agent turned to look for qwert, but did not see him. Knowing his enemy was near, he yelled "So, i see you've decided to fight dirty, that was a cheap shot, and we cant have that. Now show yourself you little rat!" Qwert stood up from behind a car, in response to the agent he said " You think that was dirty, then what do you think of this." Qwert ducked back out of sight, and hit ctrl-alt-delete. He selected agent2.exe, and clicked "end task". He turned and looked just intime to see the other agent faded into nothingness.
The dark agent, looked around himself. the tables had turned, again. His copies had been defeated, he was low on ammo, and he was almoast sure that this cut on his lip was going to get infected. He had to use something that qwert couldn't dodge, something that would force him to fight directly. Then it came to him. he concentrated for a moment, and used his mental powers to send a telepathic e-mail back to his secret base. He received a response, and his new weapon materialized in his hand. It was a full-length scottish claymore broad sword. It was six- feet long and was designed to need both hands to fight with.
Qwert was astonished at the agent's choice of weaponry. he didn't think that an evil computer virus like the agent would know of such things. Qwert yelled to the agent "Where did you get that relic?" The agent replied "I got a good deal on e-bay". Qwert reached into his trench coat and unsheathed his celtic battle sword. Noticeing that his weapon was less than half the leangth of the agent's, qwert produced another matching sword for his left hand. He struck and ancient celtic battle pose, and charged the agent with great speed.
The agent swung his heavy sword in a wide defensive arc. This made qwert stop to block the swing. Qwert slashed at the agent with both his swords, but his blows never connected with their target. The claymore was like a force field that the agent could protect himself behind. But since the agent's sword was so long and heavy, it was impossible for him to get past the quick defensive blocks of qwert's short light swords. The duel went on for a full half hour, but neither fighted had even the smallest scratch.
then qwert began to notice a pattern in the agents fighting technique. Each time the agent swung in a horizontal motion that kept qwert backed -off, he would always draw himself back for an offensive slashing motion. qwert saw opportunity in this. He waited for the motion again. there it was, the horizontal swing, and just as the agent drew back qwert brought his left blade in an upward motion and cut off the agent's left arm. The arm fell to the ground and twitched inhumaly. The agent, still haveing his backward momentum, was forced to drop his sword so he wouldn't fall over. Qwert then brought down his right blade, it contacted with the top of the agent's left shoulder and split him almost in two. The look on the agent's face was one of pure horror, then it was an evil grin. The arm on the ground melted into what looked like liquid metal. teh pool of mercury like substance then slithered its was over to the agent. When it hit the agent's leg it was absorbed and within seconds the agent's arm was growing back. then the split in the agent's torso began to close, a sucking sound was heard as the two halves became one again. Qwert pulled his sword out of the agent's abdomen. That hole closed too. Even the agent's suit had fixed itself. the agent smiled at qwert and said "Mr. anderson." in the punishing tone that a mother uses on a disobedient child. He then threw his head back and laughed his evil laugh.
This was most frustrateing, naow qwert would have to fight him the hard way. Qwert stepped back and replaced his swords in their sheaths. He then reach beneath his coat and unclipped his lightsaber from his belt. When he pressed teh activator button a blade of solid energy emmitted from the handle. the handle of qwerts lightsaber was a dark none-reflective black, but the blade was stark white, and glowed briliantly. The agent, somewhat impressed, but not showing it, also decided to change his weapon. He pressed a button on the hilt of his sword and the blade of his claymore ignited with energy, his blade shortened, then another emmitted from the bottom of the handle, becomeing a double-sided lightsaber. The energy that emmited from the agent's weapon was the color of a Ultraviolt black light. It was very dark, yet it still cast a light upon the things around it. The agent knew what was about to happen, he pulled out his inhaler but he wasn't fast enough. Then in a deep raspy voice he said "You underestimate the power of the dark side!" Qwert looked at him with concern "Are you breathing ok? And why do you sound like james earl jones when you talk?" The Agent continued" Qwert, I am your father." Qwert looked at him, puzzled "What!?" The agent looked at him, and said in his normal voice "Oh sorry about that, the fumes from my light saber must be getting to me, i always hallucinate like that when i use it." "OH, now i get it" said qwert, as he charged the agent.
The agent quickly blocked qwert's lunge, and countered with an equally fast thrust. They fought like this for some time, one attacking and the other defending, then the roles would switch. When right in the middle of the battle Qwert's cell phone began to ring. He blocked the agent's slash witch would have taken off his head and said, "can you hang on a second?" The agent said"sure" steped back and disengaged his light saber. Qwert pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered it. "Hello...Yeah...He's here too.. Now?... Hang on ill tell him" heput his hand over the phone and looked at the agent."Hey it's the director, he wants to do the car chase scene." "Now?" the agent whined. "Yes now" qwert replied. "But i dont even want to do that scene, it's badly written" explained the agent. "Yeah, i know" agreed qwert. Returning the phone to his mouth "we don't wat to do teh chase scene...ok..well... i guess if you put it that way.. ok...see ya" he hung up. "We don't get a choice in the matter" stated qwert. "oh alright" whined the agent as they bothe went to their cars.
The two fighters reluctatly went to the closest vehicles to them. The agent climbed into a rather large dump truck, he thought of how satisfying it would be to crush qwert with it. Qwert, on the other hand decided that he wanted speed. He approched a ford mustang that looked oddly out of place in this dark city. Qwert got in and started the car.
Qwert pulled up beside the agent's dump truck and asked "how is this supposed to work, do i chase you or do you chase me?" "I think i would enjoy crushing you, so why don't you get in front." said the Agent. "Catch me if you can" said qwert as he sped away. The agent stomped on the accelerator and the truck sped down the street. qwert could see the agent in his mirror, and decided it would be best to use his speed and manuverability against the agent. He made a sharp right turn onto a side street, narrowly missing a building. He looked in his mirror again to see the agent narrowly missing nothing, but in fact destroying a large portion of the corner of the building. qwert rounded another corner and saw another opportunity, a parking garage. he turned in and smashed through the guard gate, the guard on duty came out of his guard shack and yelled something obscene. Qwert continued going around inside until he saw the ramp that would take him to the next level. While he was on his way up to the top of the garage, the agent was not far behind him. The agent turned into the garage and smashed through the guard shack. he tried to make a turn that the truck would not allow. So instead of turning left to continue his persuit, he smashed into a BMW Z3 and then into the wall. He put his truck in reverse, and backed away from the wall. He laughed to himself as he saw that had been reduced to twisted metal. He continued going up, continueing to collide with the expensive cars but he still did not slow. When he finally approched the ramp that led to the 6th level, he saw qwert. The mustang was perpendicular to the ramp, qwert was outside of teh car leaning against it, pistol in hand. The agent, decideing to seize opportunity, evened his truck up with qwert and put the gas pedal to the floor. The truck came toward qwert at and amazing speed, but the hero never flinched. When the truck was within feet of qwert, he jumped in to bullet-time and steped out of the way. The truck pulvorized the car, and continued to crush it's way through the retaining wall. At this point the agent realized that he had mad a big mistake. The dump truck plummeted downward though six stories of thin air. When the truck hit the street, it continued to go down into the subway.
Qwert looked over the edge to find that there was a newly formed crater in the middle of the street. He had to find out if he had finished the agent. As he continued to watch over the edge, the dust and debris was settle in and he could see in to the hole, he could also see that there was a growing crowd of innocent bystanders and expendable tourists. He jumped off the edge of the parking garage, did a double backflip and a half gainer, and landed on his feet. He steped out of the indentions that his feet had made in the concrete, and walked over to the crater. He pushed some expendable tourists out of the way and peered over the edge. The agent must be dead, the truck was completely crushed. The he noticed someting strange about the man staning beside him, there was code streaming down his face, and his tourist clothes were changing into a black suit. He grabbed the man by his arm and threw him down into the hole, then qwert jumped down after him.
Qwert stood up and drew a pistol. He assesed his new position. He was standing between the rails of subway track in a dark tunnel. Up ahead there was a light from the boarding platform, from that light he saw a suited form running toward the light. He followed. When he reached the platform, he jumped up onto it, the agent was there waiting for him, sidearm drawn. They both raised their weapons and fired simultainiously. Almost in a predictable manor, both dodged the bullets. Having nothing better to do qwert threw his empty gun at the agent. Taken by surprise the agent received a rather large lump on his forehead. the agent charged qwert, fists flying. Some of the blows were blocked, some met their target. Then, right in the middle of his beating, a thought came to qwert. He turned and kicked the agent directly in the chest. The agent flew across the platform and stopped rather suddenly when got in the way of a concrete pillar. Qwert addressed the agent "Hey do you recognize something here?" "What are you talking about?" said the agent. "A black clad hero fighting a suit wearing agent, does anyone else smell copyright infringement here?" "Oh, i see what you mean, let's go somewhere else" said the agent. Qwert pulled out his cell phone, dialed, put it to his ear and vanished. The agent pulled out his cell phone and followed suit.
When the agent rematerialized he was standing in the old abandoned nuclear power plant, qwert was waiting for him. "It's time to end this" said qwert in a heroic voice. The agetn drew back in his fireball pose and launched a ball of flame at qwert. he dodged and the fire ball ignited a control console behind him. The agent launched anonther fireball, this one was larger and came very close to qwert, missing his body, but igniting his trench coat. Qwert stoppped, dropped and rolled, the fire was put out, but the damage was done most ov the left sleeve had been burned up. This angered the hero, he knew he didnt have many weapons left under his coat, but he must retaliate fast. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the first thing that reached his hand, a ballpoint pen. Qwert dove into bullet-time and hurled himself toward the agent, he knocked him down and stabbed the pen into the agent's eye. "you might still win this fight, but you're gonna have to do it with one feakin' eye!" yelled qwert. The agent was mad, no he was beyond mad, he was downright pissed off. The agent jumped to his feet and started fireing fireballs rapidly and in every diretction. Equipment was explodeing all around. The fire was spreading throughout the building. The reactor status monitor read 'temperature overload'. Qwert decided he had to stop this before the reactor exploded. He reached beneath he coat to find that he had but one thing left in his many holsters. A Norton Anti-virus 2000 CD. He ducked behind a computer console. He removed the CD from its case, and stood up. He hurled the disc at the agent and said "I am Qwert 33, and you will never defeat me". The disc embedded itself in the agent's chest and began to glow. The agent threw his head back and screamed. Still screaming the agent burst into flames, and melted into a pile of ash like a vimpire in the morning sun. He was defeated. The battle was over. But the building was still on fire. Our hero rushed for the fire escape and decided to let the fire department handle this. He was going home. This was a great story, he couln't wait to post it on his web site...
To veiw the sequel, as written by The Dark Agent, click there
