"What do I want?" asked Iolaus with all the bravado he could muster. "Huh?! I thought you wanted something." Iolaus turned to go and the dangerous man grabbed his shoulder roughly. Iolaus spun around and slammed his fist hard into the huge man's gut. When Thyducean doubled over, Iolaus clubbed the back of his head with both fists. The outlaw's guards started to rush into the room, and Xena drew in a sharp breath wondering what crazy stunt Iolaus was trying to pull now.
Thyducean crashed to the floor, but as Iolaus raised up, the bulky, but surprisingly agile, man clipped the hunter's legs right out from under him. Iolaus drew back his foot and prepared to kick him hard when Thyducean grabbed his foot and nearly twisted it off. Xena kept telling herself, "He's a big boy; he can take care of himself; he's a hero for Zeus' sake..fought warlords, monsters, Amazons for that matter. Down girl!" Her teeth were clenched so tightly her jaws ached. Shamiaus just grinned widely as he saw the damage his boss was doing.
Iolaus had been flipped over and groaned loudly as his face made contact with the floor. His mind was traveling faster than it ever had before. He was hoping against hope that Xena would remain cool as she watched this exchange; he'd prayed the guards wouldn't rush in, and the hunter hoped Thyducean wouldn't be paying attention to his next move.
As Thyducean roared with laughter at how easily Iolaus had been beaten, Iolaus kicked straight back and planted his foot with tremendous force in the laughing fool's groin. Thyducean stumbled back and covered his pain as he plopped into the chair against the wall. It was at this time Shamiaus grabbed up Xena, held the knife to her throat, and charged into the room with Thyducean. The other guards ran to the room as well. Two of them grabbed Iolaus by the arms while a third battered his stomach with a club. Thyducean's brain cleared long enough to see what they were doing to Iolaus.
"Hey! I don't remember giving any orders to pound the small guy! He's an old friend, and if any of you touch him again, I'll rip your fingers out of their sockets and shove them up your ...nostrils," his voice began fading as he noticed Xena and Shamiaus in the doorway. "Well...well...well, Iolaus, moving up in the world eh? Have a seat, Old buddy, and we'll hash over old times. Then you can tell me what I want."
Iolaus held his aching stomach and drew in the air that the idiots had beaten out of him. He crossed over to the other side of the table. "Well, I don't usually talk business or pleasure in front of the help you know."
"Get out of here, Shamiaus. And take that little...on second thought, she can stay. Tell me, sweetheart, when did you come to work in the Palace? I don't think I've ever tasted your sweetness before," he said with a sick grin. Xena had never wanted to slap a grin off a face more in her life. Something about him unnerved her, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. He wasn't really much to look at, but he did have a body that seemed to be one massive muscle. She shivered at the feral look on his face, and the Warrior Princess had to keep reminding herself that she was the dancing girl, not a warrior that could rip his lips off with a blade of grass.
Iolaus rose and walked over to Xena and put an arm around her. "Well, Thyducean, you being an old friend and all, I might let you taste her wares later." Xena glared at him. "But as far as Katiana working for you, 'buddy', she doesn't. She works for me, and this tasty morsel is the reason I wanted to talk with you."
Thyducean frowned and eyed her up and down. "Okay, fair enough, Iolaus, but you won't mind if she sits here by me, will you? I'm sure she'd like to hear of your heroic past, eh? And, Sweety, I don't mean his travels with that do-gooder. Yeah, Iolaus would have easily become king of thieves if he hadn't headed off to the academy. And Oh...did the ladies love him! Why, did you know your boss had quite a few nicknames back in those days?"
"Thyducean, not now," grimaced the hunter.
"Aw come on, Iolaus; it's not like she's some Hestial, you know. She's a big girl...she can handle your secrets," teased the big man.
"Yes, Master," Xena whispered slyly, "I'd love to hear about the old days."
"Katiana, this is none of your concern. Tell me, Thyducean, do you have a room we could...rest in? I'm sure Katiana needs to rest up for her performance, and I'm a little tired myself," groaned Iolaus while stretching his neck.
"Well...I think I have one you can rest in. My guards are taking care of a little problem upstairs for me; I'm sure they'll watch over your slave as well, Iolaus," he sneered. When the outlaw saw the doubt in Iolaus' eye, he put his hand over where his heart should have been. "I'm shattered to my very core, Iolaus, that you don't trust me with your property. She'll be safe enough, and I'll make sure none of the customers get her room mixed up with the others."
"Well, since you put it like that; run along, Katiana!" he ordered. Xena was very careful to veil the emotions running in her mind, but she still made sure Iolaus caught the ice dagger look she sent him.
After Xena left, Thyducean leaned forward and raised his eyebrows. "What kind of performance? And will I get a private showing?"
"Thyducean, I'm here to make you an offer that you'd be stupid to refuse. Katiana? She's the best dancing girl in all of Greece. The things she can do with her veils....well, let's just say it'd burn your baklava. I won her in a card game, and let me tell you, she's been the best little money maker I've had since that whole Dahak scam. Let her dance tonight; you keep all the money they throw at her, and just see if she doesn't bring in an extra 100 dinars tonight," Iolaus boasted.
"100 dinars? Wow...nah, no one's that good," he said glaring in disbelief. "Besides, I've got...guests coming tonight to pick up a little package. Maybe tomorrow night..."
"Guests? Well, what better way to entertain business prospects. I'm telling you, Thyducean, it'll start a new fad...bring your business associates to the Pleasure Palace. Why, they'll be so busy watching Katiana and her...veils that they won't even notice you've fleeced them. What do you say? Look, I'll even play the music for her. I don't do it very often, but she certainly likes to perform for me," the hunter laughed.
"Well, okay, then Iolaus...tonight's the night. Debuting in the Pleasure Palace, Kinky Katiana and her Kat-o- Nine Tails," Thyducean said dreamily as he pictured the banner he would hang on the front of the Pleasure Palace.
"Wait, Thyducean..she doesn't..I mean, she's never," Iolaus stumbled.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Iolaus. I know, but I also know what sells. Just put a little whip in her hand, and people will let their imaginations do the rest. Well! Gotta go, Iolaus. It's been fun talking about old times, but I've got things to prepare for tonight, and you have...well, you have to get your rest, " Thyducean said as he slapped him on the back.
"I'll give you rest, you creep. Rest in Peace! Oh gods! Xena's gonna kill me," Iolaus muttered under his breath as he was left alone in the room. He never even saw Shamiaus lingering in the shadows.
"Xena, huh?" the criminal said with a grin. This was beginning to look like things would be turning in his direction.
Gabrielle thought Hercules was trying to walk her legs off as they tried to discuss what they might find. Dite popped in and out the whole time; they thought she was just doing her nails or something, but she was actually keeping an eye on Clarissa. The young girl had a lot in common with the goddess of love, and Aphrodite still found it hard to believe that she was the daughter of an Amazon Queen. On her last visit, Clarissa let her in on the secret of a Warrior Princess and a very strange hero rolling around in the closet. "Oh, Sweetcheeks, you are too much!" she giggled. "Where are they now? Do you know, Sweetie?"
"I don't know, Aphrodite; I just know they're close because they said they would be," she said trustingly. Clarissa was confused because she didn't think she'd ever trust anyone again after her father was killed. The guards were indifferent to the child, and even though their boss was scary, she knew nothing would happen to her while she was there. "I heard the guards talking, m'lady, and someone is coming tonight to take me far from here. Will Iolaus and Xena really be able to get me out of here?" Aphrodite smiled and nodded. Actually, she wasn't really sure how they would accomplish this, but Dite knew it would be imperative for them to rescue her. After all, she did not want a war between the sexes. No one really won those kinds of wars.
It was Clarissa's question that weighed heavily on her mind when she popped back in with Herc and Gabrielle. "Oh, hi gang!" The goddess said absentmindedly. With a sigh, Aphrodite explained in depth what needed Iolaus' and Xena's help, tactfully skipping over the dancing girl plan.
"That poor girl; Hercules, we need to hurry up!" cried Gabrielle.
"I still don't get why they felt like they had to do this on their own. Don't they trust us?" asked Hercules as he kicked a rock across the path.
Aphrodite put her hand on her brother's shoulder and gently turned him around, "I understand you, Hercules. I know you're worried about Sweetcheeks and all he's been through. Would you have let him go if you knew he was dealing with a perverse sadistic son of a Bacchae?" Hercules' eyebrows shot up with that description of their adversary she'd so conveniently forgotten to reveal. Aphrodite sighed again and glanced up at him with slightly contemptuous eyes. "Come on, Bro, you wouldn't even let him go chase a few crazy sheep. Xena knew you'd act this way, and she also knew that Clarissa's only chance is hanging on Iolaus knowing this guy. Would you actually risk that little girl's safety... what's left of her innocence..her LIFE because you don't want Iolaus to get a hangnail? He can handle himself just fine, Herc. You need to learn to trust him."
Hercules stopped and turned around as Dite left the forest. "Gabrielle, she's right. I'm trying so hard to protect him that I'd almost sacrifice an innocent to ensure his safety. He'd hate hearing me say that, wouldn't he? I hate knowing that about myself as well." Hercules started pacing back and forth in front of Gabrielle. "Great! Now I don't even know if I should continue on or turn around and trust Iolaus to finish this!"
"Hercules?" Gabrielle asked as she laid a hand on his arm. "Do you trust Iolaus? I know it feels pretty crummy to be left behind, but I kind of understand why Xena felt like we shouldn't know. They both know us and know that we'd try to talk them out of doing whatever they're doing in a pleasure palace. But you know, Hercules...they might be able to use a little extra muscle."
"Ooooo! I like extra Muscle!" squealed 'Dite as she reappeared in her demi-goddess costume.
Hercules raised his eyebrows at the look alike costume then slight grin surfaced on his face to replace the scowl. "Yeah, a little extra muscle. Tell us how you really feel, Aphrodite?"
The goddess looked surprised at his question. People rarely asked her advice on anything but matters of the heart. Oh well, she did hand out occasional beauty tips, but that was all. Doubling up her fists, 'Dite fiercely growled, "Let's kick a little criminal butt!"
Hercules laughed at his sister's enthusiasm. "Oh, Aphrodite, you sound just like Iolaus. Have you ever taken lessons from him?" He stopped laughing when she cleared her throat and walked past Gabrielle and Hercules.
"Maybe," she casually threw out.
Gabrielle and Hercules stood dumbfounded for a few moments then looked disbelievingly in her direction. "Hey, Dite! Wait up!" they both called as they ran off to catch up with her.
Xena paced nervously back and forth in front of the door, and the moment the handle moved, her warrior training sprang into place. She gripped the intruder by the neck and struck quickly at his pressure points. To her horror, when her mind cleared she saw Iolaus kneeling on the floor with a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. "Really, Xena..," he choked out breathlessly, "we've got ...to ..quit....meeting like this."
Xena rolled her eyes and restored the blood flow to his brain. "Iolaus! I swear if you don't quit sneaking up on a person....I could have killed you!"
"Could you have, now?" he asked with a grin as he wiped away the blood, sat back on his heels, and braced his hands against his head to stave off the massive headache slamming through him.
Xena sighed and marched over to a water basin, soaked a cloth in the cool water, and marched right back to apply the cool compress at the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Iolaus...I know this was my plan, but I have a bad feeling at the moment. Not to mention, I've never felt more like a caged animal in my LIFE!" she shouted. The Warrior Princess noticed him wince at her volume, and she sat down next to him. "Really, Iolaus, are you okay? What was all that slamming around you did downstairs?"
"Oh that, well just an adolescent male bonding ritual, I suppose. You know...'Glad to see ya, so I'll knock your teeth out just to let ya know.' Trust me, Xena, in a gang like that the last thing you'll ever see with them is a group hug. Anyway, I got in a few good slams myself before we got down to business," he said as he was rubbing his temples.
"Speaking of business, what was all that 'not talking about business in front of the help'?" she asked through narrowed eyes.
"Please, Xena, I can't deal with your nagging right now. And yes, I know you could kill me with your little pinky,"he said with a weak grin and a sigh, "But we've got more important things to discuss than your slight humiliation. For example, they're coming to get Clarissa tonight. So now we have to discuss your HUGE humiliation. I've arranged for you to...um...perform tonight. There's bound to be a capacity crowd, so we'll have to keep an eye on anyone who looks strange."
"Iolaus," she began, "it's a Pleasure Palace; they all look strange. Okay, I'm ready, and I can't wait to get my hands on that weasel, Thyducean and his lacky Shamiaus. The way those two looked at me made me want to take a bath, scrub every inch of my body, and burn all my clothes." Iolaus sat there for a few minutes in a daze. When Xena called his name again, he broke free of the mental images she'd just painted for him.
"Yeah...oh I'm sorry, Xena. Did you say something? Nevermind, I need these next few hours to practice my lute playing. Zeus! It's been so long. You sure you don't want to practice?" he asked with a grin. Xena threw him a "Watch it, Iolaus" look and turned back to pace some more.
